Somehow, Minho’s rage had made Kibum feel better. He wasn’t okay. He was nowhere near it, actually. But, he could pretend. He could get up every morning and force down at least part of his breakfast before heading off to school. At school, he could listen to the lessons, he could talk to kids from his classes. At track practice, he could run so hard that his brain could only concentrate on his body. At dinner, he could talk to his parents about their days, about their trip to Japan. He could spend the evening helping his mother clean the house, doing homework, and playing games with Minho or Taemin. Occasionally Jinki would come along, too, and they would all play Mario Kart and laugh and snack and not think about other things.

But at night, after the lights were turned out and the darkness crept in, Kibum couldn’t stop the thoughts from invading his mind. The image of Jonghyun kissing that girl, of books scattered around his house, of Jinki pinning a raging Minho to the floor, of Jonghyun softly punching himself in the chest as he badly held back small sobs. He relived that day every night in his dreams for the two weeks following the event, always waking up as his dream-self watched Taemin and Jinki carefully clean the broken glass off the floor and Minho put all the books back on the shelves. He always woke up weeping quietly. And the cycle would begin again.

One day, he got off the bus and turned right to head up the street towards his house, but his path was blocked by someone. Jonghyun stood there, his eyes down cast, his whole person a visible mess. He obviously wasn’t groomed, and he looked like he’d missed quite a few nights of sleep, probably some meals, as well. This boy’s sudden appearance made Kibum’s stomach leap, but he ignored it, side stepping Jonghyun and walking straight home.

For the week after that, if Kibum went home alone, Jonghyun always met him at the bus stop. If Minho was with him, Jonghyun was nowhere to be seen, which was most definitely in his best interest anyway. The third time Jonghyun met him, he had reached out a little towards Kibum, but the younger boy had jerked harshly away, moving around Jonghyun and walking away, not looking back.

The next time after that that Jonghyun met Kibum was getting on the bus. Kibum got on and Jonghyun took the seat next to him. Kibum took a deep breath and shifted as far away from the older boy as possible. Jonghyun this time looked better, if you didn’t count the black eye and split lip.

“I met Minho earlier.” Jonghyun said quietly.

‘Good.’ Kibum thought, as he put his headphones in and ignored the older boy.

By the time they reached Kibum’s stop, a heavy rain had settled on the area. Both boys got off the bus, seeking shelter under the bus stop overhang. Kibum mentally scolded himself for not keeping an umbrella in his bag. Just as he was about to make a break for his house, a small black umbrella was into his line of sight. Jonghyun stood beside him, staring down at his feet and holding out the umbrella to him. Before he could decide whether or not to take it, Jonghyun spoke.

“I cheated on you, and you have no idea how sorry I am.”

Definitely not taking it now.

“We weren’t in a relationship, so you couldn’t have cheated on me. I don’t care anymore.” Kibum’s voice was controlled, no emotion hitting any of his words.

“No, Kibum, but we were in a relationship and I did something unforgivable and I will never stop hating myself for it.”

“Jonghyun, you don’t owe me anything and I don’t owe you anything. Just go, do whatever you want to do and don’t think about me anymore. Just… leave me alone.”

“Kibum, I’m not going to do that.”

Kibum clenched his jaw and took another deep breath, feeling the prickle of tears threatening to escape from the corners of his eyes. He glared out at the rain, still pouring down before them. Minutes passed like this, before Kibum finally broke the silence.

“I hate the rain...”

He turned to Jonghyun, who was staring at him. He looked both curious and relieved. He must have been hoping that Kibum would finally talk to him. He must have thought that telling him he was sorry and felt bad would make it okay. Their eyes met and Kibum finished.

“I hate it…because it reminds me of you.”

Kibum saw Jonghyun’s lower jaw quiver for half a second before he dropped his eyes and nodded slowly. He bent over and placed the umbrella at Kibum’s feet before turning and walking out into the rain in the opposite direction of Kibum’s house. Kibum watched him for a few seconds before bending down to take the umbrella. No use in wasting a perfectly good umbrella.