Chapter 3 / 도대체 내 맘이 뭔지

...Lost in Thought

Dictionary: Chingu / 친구 => a friend 

                 bae / 배 => baby, babe 

                 yeoja chingu / 여자 친구 => girlfriend 

                 daeh~ / Hi 

                 ajussi / 아저씨 => an uncle

                 jinjja / 진짜 => for real 

 

 

Jiho’s POV

 

“I just can’t help but say, you look more comfy these days. Is something happening at work? Or did you just realised that life has a better side too?” my chingu Eunsoo asked me, while we were at her room eating crisp and watching Marvel’s movie again.

“You think so? In my opinion nothing changed previous week,” I didn’t give attention what she was doubting about.

“Dad said to me you have a new man in work. Doesn’t it have to do something with him?” she raised her eyebrow and made me look to her eyes.

“Man? You should say a boy. He is even younger than me,” I chuckled.

“And this is some kind of demerit? How many years?”

“Three. He is 19. But yeah I can say he is more mature than he maybe looks on first sight,” I agreed.

“That’s not so much. And dad says he matches to you very well,” she teased me and I almost choked with a potato.

“WHAT?” I shouted after I caught my breath again. Eunsoo laughed at me.

“See? What about your reaction? You are red in face, it has to mean something! At least that you accept him as a man. You are attracted by him or YES No MAYBE that you are falling for him, bae!” she smirked so much. I couldn’t stand it. I hid my face behind the pillow. Wait, why is my heart racing so swift? I can feel my face burning. …I do match to him? No no no! I can’t even ponder about it!

“Oh God, Min Jiho I adore you reactions when you try to baffle yourself,” she patted my head and I puffed my cheeks. “ You are so legible, you know. I think this is good chance to forget on everything what bothers you. I want finally see your honest sunny smile. I hate this gloom of yours. I want my Min Jiho back,” she gathered me so softly around my arms.

“I am sorry Eunsoo-ah, but you are the one who knows the best why I can’t cheer up myself at this time.”

“I know and that’s why I want to get to know that Mark my parents are talking about all the time! Tomorrow I’ll come for visit after I pick up my brother from kinder garden. And yet Johnny wanted to talk to me about something so I will meet him first too,”

“Don’t worry about that, you even don’t need to come,” I grinned and showed my tongue.

“You pabo,” she said and begun to tickle me. OMG I almost died. I am so ticklish! She does know it so well, that’s why she is doing that all the time. And it’s some kind of punishment of love or what.

“Ok ok stop, please! My tummy is aching because of you! It’s unbearable,” I puffed cheeks again.

“Fine,” she laughed.

“I won’t go with you on Star trek then!”

“I said fine and by the way, you will come because you want to watch it more than I want to, honey,” she patted me.

“Okay you’re right,”

“As always, honey, as always,” she winked at me.

“You know, let’s say he is cute and handsome,” I suddenly realized what I was bluffing and quickly change my statement before I say something more stupid: “But you know my tenet, I don’t want to date with someone who is younger than me or too much older than me,” I said proudly.

“You are so picky, babe. But wait just a while and he won’t be under the law,” she teased me again and I threw pillow to her. I thought she will die from her own jokes.

But still why I am blushing? Stupid reactions of mine!

After that I’ve change topic of speaking so many times. I didn’t want to talk about Mark. And more, someone as him is surly interested in other girls from the school I guess. He has to have a lot of fan-girls. 100% sure he is dating with someone. I saw on his mobile three days ago while we were cleaning, that some Jieun was calling him. It must be yoja chingu! (gfriend). No I am not disappointed. He has his own life, but I am glad to have him as a friend.

 

“Jiho, my lovely princess,” Mr. Kim said to me while I was washing dishes in the kitchen at work.

“Daeh ajussi?” I smiled at him and he gave me quick father’s kiss on my cheek.

“Mark-ssi won’t come today. He called me he is not feeling well. He even wasn’t at school he said,”

“Oh jinjja? I hope he will be alright soon,” I said without an interest but in real I started to worry about him.

“Let’s hope we will see him tomorrow. I called Winwin for help. I changed his shifts a little,”

“Oh that’s great. I didn’t meet him for a while, since you hired Mark,” I said with a smile.

Winwin is really good friend and colleague of mine. He lives in Seoul for one year. He is exchanged student from Zhejiang in China. I adore him. He is so cute and both of us are so talkative. We have so many matching stuffs. He has a language barrier since it is not long time he learns Korean, but we found way cuz I am also learning mandarin. So it’s great to speak together for both of us. We are teaching each other. He is also part-timer but he usually has shifts with Taeil oppa not me.

“Isn’t it a pity? I wanted to meet him so much! It looks like a fate is on your side for now,” familiar voice echoed behind me.

“ Weren’t you meeting Johnny oppa?” I asked Eunsoo, who was giving a kiss to her father.

“Yes, I am meeting him about few minutes, in here,”

“So you two made a deal on me?” I raised an eyebrow. Eunsoo hid behind her dad.

“No, we just wanted to eat something yummy,” she defended herself.

“Yeah of course,” I turned back to the dishes angrily.

“Honey, don’t be mad at me. We were just curious about him. But since he is not here we can go somewhere else,”

“Eunsoo-ah, you don’t want to eat at father’s place?” her dad asked.

“Yes daddy, I want to but I can’t if Jiho is mad at me,” she said innocently.

I finished my work and without looking at her I went back to the restaurant since I heard door open. “Your choice, I don’t care,” I said simply.

The one who came was Johnny oppa.

“Annyeo Jiho-ah,” he greeted me happily. But my face hasn’t changed so I said only: “hello,”

“Oh, what I did to you, Jiho-ah?” he looked at me blankly and ran with his hand through his hair. He is always doing that when he don’t understand a thing. So this is a sign Eunsoo didn’t tell him why she called him here.

“You nothing, I am sorry but I am not in mood today,” I said and at the same time Eunsoo came there.

“Hello honey, have you been waiting long?” she asked him.

“No, I’ve just came,” he replied with a smile.

“Don’t worry about her, she is sad cuz of Mark-ssi won’t come today,” she whispered.

“I am still here, I can here you!” I shouted ironically.

“Let’s go somewhere else before she will throw some glass on me,” she chuckled: “I will explain you everything, Johnny,”

“Oukaay, so see you next time Jiho-ah,” he waved and I waved back. They finally left.

 

Mark’s POV

I pretended to be sick not because I didn’t want to go to the work. I really do. I want to see her and talk with her. But my parents came back and I don’t want them to be suspicious about something. That’s why I am at home. I lost my mood of course. It’s always about same things. They still talk about my future, about how I will continue with their business, that I have to take responsible … I want to scream so much but I can’t. But I just can’t say a word. If I will, they are capable to send me back to Vancouver. It’s not I hate living there, I do, but this time. I have reasons at least one for staying here. And plus most of the time, they are not here, and I feel free just for a sec.

I took my phone and messaged to her: “Hi there, hope you don’t have much work cuz of me.” It was like an eternity till she tapped me back.

“Hi, nope. It’s alright. Winwinie~ is here with me, so don’t ya worry,” wait who is Winwin? And WHY does she calling him in cute way? She’s never told me Markie~!

“Who is that?” I messaged back.

“Our colleague and really good friend of mine. Wae yo? Are you jealous? xP”

Hell I am!! But I can’t write it to her! It will be sound funny. “Nope at all. Do you want me to?”

“idk, your choice J , why would I?” I could feel my whole body burning from an anger. What is happening to me? Why is she acting like that?

“Just teasing, not a big deal. Have a great day with Winwinie~~ J,” I said ironically. Hell, I am awkward I know.

“Thanks, I already do ;),” nooo! . One day off and she is enjoying lovey-dovey time with someone else! I know why is that happening! I have to show her I am not a kid! I am sure she is considering me as her dongsaeng and nothing else.

“Markie? Can you come down for a while and help me, please?” mom called at me. I threw my phone on bad. “Yes, I am coming,” I said and went to her.

 

I came back to my room after maybe 2 hours. I was helping mom with cooking but believe me, you don’t want me as a company, I am horrible when it comes to cooking. Even my dongsaengs in the school are better in it. I put my laptop on the bad and just were checking my phone when I saw an unread message. It was from Jiho. I could hear my heart beat. I opened it.

“Hope you will get better soon and that is not smtg serious. See you around, Mark-ssi. And don’t get me wrong, I am not worry about you, it’s just decency xP “ She is so cute I can’t stand it. So she does care about me. Can I be more happier now?

 

WinWin’s POV

Jiho was looking on her phone so often and yet, she was still smiling while tapping some message. I’ve never seen her like this before. Did she meet someone?

“You look happy,” I said.

“No, just normal. Nothing special,” she replied with a smile I fall for.

“Are you chatting with some friend of yours?” I was curious. “You just can’t take your eyes from your phone,”

“Let’s say it’s a friend. And I am sorry I didn’t realize it can looks like impoliteness. But I did listen to you all the time,” she winked at me and my heartbeat accelerated.

“Nothing happened, I was just curious. I though you are chatting with your boyfriend,” her eyes were wide opened and she blushed a little. But why?

“No, no, nothing like that. I don’t have a boyfriend,” she said quickly. Ok that’s fine.

“Winwinie, what about your school? Everything goes fine?” she changed topic. BTW I love when she calls me Winwinie. I am sure she doesn’t even realize that.

“Yeah, there are lot of people who are helping me with a language so no problem. I am really happy that I came here in Seoul. Even if I miss my family.,” I smiled at her.

“That’s good to hear. I am really happy that you are here too. But it would be better see you around more often,”

“Jiho-ah?”

“Hmm?” she looked at me and I lost some words for a sec. But I gathered daring: “ We can change it, you know,”

“What do you mean?”

“Will you go out with me sometimes? Maybe during next weekend? You don’t have a shift, do you?”

“No I don’t,” she shyly smiled.

“So if it’s not a problem. I would like to hang out with you. I have so much to talk with you,”

“No.. thus I want to say yes. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s a great idea,” okay she made my day now once again.

“Awesome,” I shouted happily and then my face turned red and she chuckled.

“I will text you about a place and time at Friday?” she asked.

“Yeah, sounds good. Thank you Jiho-ah.” Winwin this is your chance finally. Don’t hide yourself so much and try to trust yourself more.

 

Jiho’s POV

I don’t know but I was delighted when I saw messages from Mark. And I just can’t stop my reaction to him. I don’t act like this all the time. It’s new for me too. But at this moment I don’t mind it. I am happy he is alright. Plus I am delighted that I am going to hang out with Winwinie, finally I can tell him everything what came in my mind last days I haven’t meet him. He is really good chingu. Honest, trustworthy, kind, carrying… That kind of person he is.

Butterflies in my stomach have a party now…

 

To be continued…

 

 

New characters joined:

Seo Johnny (23) 

College student. 

Eunsoo's ex classmate. She has crush on her since he knows her, but he've never told her anything. 

Really good personality. 

Always making jokes. 

He came from Chicago because of great oppuortunity for studying. 

He is like a gurdian angel for Eunsoo and grat soul mate for Jiho since both of them act usually like clowns. 

Hopes he will have chance one day to say Eunsoo that he loves her. 

 

Win Win (21) 

Exchange student from China. 

Lovely personality but knows how to be bad boy too.

He is part timer at same restaurant as Jiho and Mark.

He really understands with Jiho, since he came. She was firts person with whom he was able to speak. 

Teaches Jiho mandarin and Jiho is teaching him hangul. 

He wishes to be in her presence more. 

He wanted to be just a friend wewith Jiho, but can't stop his own feelings. 

When it comes to Jiho, he knows how to fight, even if he looks weak. It's only a visage. 

 

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