The boys felt chills run up their spines at the gnawing silence which ate their whole dorm ever since Jaemin returned from his date with Jeno. Well, not exactly total silence since Chen Le and Donghyuck is far from being the epitome of peace, but so is Jaemin. However, the latter is far from his usual self.

Donghyuck appeared from the kitchen and let out a sigh as he looked towards the eldest, “Hyung, please go get Nana. The guy’s gotta eat at some point or he’ll throw up his stomach bile once more.”

Mark sighed exasperatedly, can’t Donghyuck see that he’s been doing that for almost two days? Jaemin has not eaten anything except water for almost four days and Jeno has been constantly calling them if Jaemin is okay because of his inability to come by to check because of Donghyuck and Doyoung’s threat if he ever dares to hurt Jaemin.

“I’ve been trying Hyuck, but Nana wouldn’t budge. His condition is getting worse. This is more severe than before, we gotta call Hansol hyung.” Mark pulled at his hair in frustration.

Renjun frowned at everyone, “Don’t give up just yet, I will try and get Nana, alright? But yeah, I agree we need to call Hansol hyung.” He stood up and started heading towards Jaemin’s room but everybody screamed that he stops.

Renjun frowned once more and looked at everyone as if they had become some sort of ten-headed beast. Sensing his hyungs discomfort in revealing the truth to the angelic male, Jisung covered for everyone, “You’ll just worsen him hyung.” He deadpanned making Donghyuck, Mark, and Chen Le glare at him, “b-because, you know, kn-knowing you hyung, you’ll cry seeing him suffer and then he’ll cry too and thendkrbjnkj….” Jisung mumbled. Well it wasn’t exactly a lie. Not all.

The angelic male seemed to ponder about it before finally buying it and sat on his place once more.

This has been the scenario inside their dorm for almost 96 hours, everyone will try to pull Jaemin out of his mind but to no avail, and Renjun will always try to help but everybody will make up a lie in order to stop him. Everybody always stops Renjun because he’s one of the major reasons why Jaemin is locked up inside his room and intakes nothing but water.

Everybody, except Renjun, knew the reason why Jaemin was self-destructing. Doyoung managed to squeeze it out of him when he visited and then told Donghyuck, whom dutifully updated everybody except Renjun. The poor boy’s too kind, if he knew he was the reason, he might cry for 72 hours straight and nobody can take that, it’ll break their hearts (more like their ears and heads).

Mark stood up finally, he can’t take this anymore.

“I’m going to go fetch Hansol hyung.”

Everything hurts.

That was what Jaemin thought first the moment his eyes opened for the 5^th time. Too much time must’ve passed for his stomach was growling violently and his throat was so parched he can hardly let out a sound.

He doesn’t open his eyes despite being awake, because what’s the point anyway? Reality and his dreams doesn’t differ that much, he’s hurt by his dreams as much as reality did that it doesn’t bother him anymore.

Thirst still overcame him so he opened his eyes and sat up to drink. He walked lazily towards the refrigerator across the room and plopped down as soon as he was near; he was too tired and hurt to even carry himself for a few minutes.

Not even a fraction of second passed when the water touched his stomach when it turned against him, making him throw up right then and there.

What he thought to be a relief for his pain turned out to be another trigger which will worsen it, something Jaemin proved again and again. He could not believe that even water will turn its back against him, something that is supposed to be one of the main sources of life will bring him more despair.

Jaemin sobbed lightly as he continued to throw up his stomach bile. He felt like his insides were burning, like it was suddenly set on fire as he continued to retch, remnants of food is absent for he had already retched his last food intake about 46 hours prior.

After his stomach felt like it is enough, he used the little strength in him and moved a little further from the mess he had created and finally gave up on the floor.

He closed his eyes and think for it was the only thing he could do in his state, he doesn’t have any strength nor will left in him to even call for help, for what’s the purpose, nobody can hear him anyway.

He could not believe that he was played by Lee Jeno once more, he could not believe he was being played all those times, and he could not believe he was betrayed by his friend.

Tears continued to cascade down Jaemin’s eyes as his chest constricted once more because his mind kept on replaying like a mantra that Renjun was Jeno’s boyfriend. Loathe was slowly creeping its way on his heart to harden it when memories of his friendship with Renjun flashes before his eyes.

He lied to me. Remember when he broke up with Yukhei last year because he talked badly about you?

He deserves to vanish. He risked his life saving you when you almost drowned back in 3^rd grade.

He must be happy seeing me so broken. He always patched you up whenever you fall and wound yourself, remember?

He’s the reason for my demise. He can’t even tell which is right and left, what more plan your demise.

I want to hate him. Yet Renjun will always love you even in your misgivings.

Jaemin realized that no matter what, he can never hate his friend, he can never hate Renjun even if the latter intentionally ruins his life.

And he hates himself for thinking about it, because he knows that Renjun will never intentionally hurt him. He’s such an for thinking those horrible things against his friend when his friend will take any beating for him even for the stupidest of reasons.

He wanted to blame Jeno, but he could not, for by the end of the day, everything was his fault, it was his fault that Jeno wanted to crush him, it was his fault that he’s incapable of loving someone like a normal person, it was his fault that he drove Jeno away in the first place, and it was his goddamn fault he’s suffering right now.

Everything hurts, his limbs, his back, his stomach, his throat, his head, especially his chest. Everything hurts so much he can’t even lift his fingers. Everything hurts so much he just wanted to black out and never wander between dreams and reality once more.

Please just take me away.

So that was the fifth chapter of What A Long Ride. I am deeply sorry if it became to dark real quick (I also don't know how did that happened). 
And on a side note (which is pretty ironic since this is an end note), hello fello NCTzens! We finally have our own fandom name (it still feels foreign, and a little weird in the mouth)!
And please blame Jaehyun's and Yuta's biceps for ruining me, it lead me to this monstrosity. 

And also before I forget, PD 101 S2 is ending! I'm really hoping my babies get into TOP 11 (which is another irony since I love everyone, the hardships of loving 100 boys).