Yuto POV

 

Pressing onto my temples, I tried to kill that throbbing headache. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to come to a pub tonight. The loud music is not helping at all. I personally saw how depressed Hikari became when I told her the findings of the investigation. Whatever that kid Ryosuke claimed, it's many folds worst. Sky High's influential parents who were ministers mastermind the kidnapping so that their kids can win. They bribed the referees too. It would have been easy for the royal forces to crack down on them, until the opposition from Asano got us all helpless. Iwata flipped, Shohei pressured, when Asano claims that the royal power should not intervened in the government matters. He brings out the importance of the government in supporting the royal palace that's not in favour by its people. Shohei relented, knowing that he made a point. Hikari is not yet ready to rule, and the government is still largely her pillar of strength. Cracking down on their corruption will risk having her little power crumbling down as well. She needs their support. The words I overheard from Shohei and Yabu's closed-door discussion days ago have bothered me too. I guess ignorance is bliss but once you have stepped one foot into it, it's difficult to pretend. Asano speaking up for those ministers could suggest some inconspicuous relationship amongst them. Shohei is guessing that they are plotting something that could ultimately be dire to Hikari's coronation but it's hard to tell. Yabu suggested to get Princess Kana back, Hikari's elder sister. I couldn't quite explain that feeling of uneasiness creeping up when I thought of having her back.

 

"Aren't you the handsome guy who took Airi away that time? I see you're alone" a girl let herself onto my thighs shamelessly. In the glaring disco light, it took me awhile to get a good look at her and eventually recognise her vaguely from that incident. I wanted to see how low she'll stoop so I didn't immediately dissed her away.

 

"Airi doesn't deserve you. You're flawless but she's ugly. Have you seen the scar on her back?"

 

"Scar?"

 

"Oh you don't know about it? Why am I not surprised. She probably didn't dare sleep with you cause she's ashamed of that scar. She was from our school and she was trying desperately to become a model to a point that she don't mind sleeping with a magazine editor. When she couldn't get what she wanted, she fought with him and she ended with a bad cut on her back. I've seen it, it's horrifying. She deserved it. Selling her body for fame. Irked. Eventually She quit school, well, her skin would be really thick if she had insisted to stay. "

 

"I didn't!"

 

Airi was standing there frozen for a moment then the next instance she wanted to make a run for it. I shoved that flirtatious lady aside, jolted out of my seat and grabbed onto her hands. 

 

"I can see for myself the one who's ugly. Airi just isn't the one. On the contrary, I do feel sad for you. Your inferiority complex must be so great for you to love putting others down. That includes your friends" I glanced over to those other girls who look more like her servant girls. I took Airi out without another thought and drove her away in my car. She was still in a daze, not questioning me where I'm taking her even when I stopped my car at a deserted hilltop.

 

"Come out..." i opened her door and only then she lethargically pulled herself out. No matter how beautiful the scene in front of her, her moodiness tainted it.

 

"Where's that girl who confronted me that day after the match. Daringly confessing even though she barely knew me..." i grabbed both sides of her shoulders and made sure she looked at me. "It's nothing like you to be defeated over others' words."

 

"... do you believe her story?" She nervously bitting her lips when she said. Frankly, I'm not pushing the story out because I'm sure there's a certain extent of truth in it.

 

"It doesn't matter if I believe it or not"

 

"It does... it really does...I don't want you to hate me.."

 

"I don't need to know you enough to know you aren't a bad girl and I don't know you enough to judge your decisions. I promised to give our relationship a good thought so how can I be hating on you before I even start liking you. Whatever you did then, you probably have your reasons. If it's a mistake, who doesn't make one. If it's a lie, then don't waste your time at it."

 

"I did approach the editor but it was he who tricked me. He doped my drink and... I almost got..." her voice cracked and I wanted her not to go on. Instead she wiped her tears away, took a breathe, then continued, "in my struggle, I took a fruit knife from my reach and tried to escape but he knew I wasn't fully conscious to put a good fight. He attacked me during the struggle and that's how I got a deep cut across my back." While she was recounting, she got more agitated and emotional, even up till she finished, she was breathing hard with tears accumulating in her eyes.

 

"If you need to cry, just cry. Just pretend I'm not here" as soon as I said that, she threw herself in my direction and I really did have a shock. I am a royal guard who enjoys much glamour in the palace grounds, but somehow I was always a tiny bit nervous whenever I had to face her. It's strange. Even my hands were, unconsciously patting her back in a conscientious up down momentum until she stops her wailing. 

 

"Thank you Yuto!" She gives a bright response like as if nothing had happened. I really didn't know to laugh or cry over her absurdly fast recovery. I chuckled eventually and she went back to her possessive self, clinging to my arms like it belonged to her. I felt that I have betrayed Hikari when I did not shun Airi away, and I too felt my lies would hurt her and my career. Perhaps, I wasn't completely unwavered. I was attracted to her. I found myself smiling as I saw her doing likewise.

 

"Airi, actually I... don't deserve your attention..."

 

"You have a secret, don't you?" She said, giving me such a surprise I didn't manage to properly react. Did I already gave myself away? "I don't mind it at all. You can tell me when you're comfortable, it needn't be now. I had secrets awhile back too, and you didn't mind it either. even though you didn't like me, you gave me a chance."

 

"... it's not that I don't like you. I think i already did..."

 

***

Mirei POV

 

"Sorry, we're actually closed for the night. Is there anything I can help you?" I ran out of my practicing room when I heard someone coming in in the late night. Everyone has left the medical building except me, so I admit I was quite freaked out when I imagined it was an intruder. But this person may seriously need urgent medical attention. 

 

The silhouette of this person is familiar. The poor lighting is making it hard to discern, however he does not seem keen for me to switch on the lights, interrupting me as I make my way. "It's me Shohei."

 

"Huh? Oh!"

 

"I didn't mean to scare you. I hope I'm not inconveniencing you in any way."

 

"N-no no. Let me get the lights." I clumsily replied.

 

"It's okay. I prefer it that way. Relax and sit down, if you're not rushing anywhere" 

 

I cannot deny my heart is pumping so fast I thought it'll fail. Locating a spot beside him, I could now take a better look at him. He appears much more tired than the last time I saw him at the hospital. He's normally not depressed as far as I remembered, something must have been troubling. 

 

"Sorry about that day."

 

"Sorry for?" I was trying desperately to recall the trigger for the apology but there really isn't anything he should be apologetic for.

 

"I sort of cut you off when you were gonna say something important that day."

 

I gulped nervously as the memories of the nerve-wrecking moment where I almost blurted out my heartfelt emotions, started to come back. He calmed me down right away as if it wasn't his intentions to stir it up. What a irony. 

 

"I know what you're gonna say but I admit I didn't quite expect you were ever gonna say. So I wasn't prepared for it and I didn't want to say something tardy that will hurt you."

 

I knew where this was heading and I wanted to stop him from going any clearer than he is already, yet nothing could come out from my mouth. I was afraid I would not be able to hold back my timidness and cry it all out.

 

"It's not you, really. You are good. The problem is on me. I'm just not deserving of you. I have issues. Those things you hear from others, that I'm a flirt, I'm playful, I'm non-committal in relationships - those are true. I prefer flings than committing to a permanent relationship. I'm against marriage. So if you are looking for any sense of security i can offer, i have none. You are someone who seeks stability, seeks out someone who cares for you, loves you like there's only you and no other. That person is just not me."

 

I couldn't control my tears and before i make this meet end all messy and tragic, I tried to escape. But he pulled me back. As much as I was ashamed to face him with my crying face, he was looking at me with pleading eyes. "Even if things don't work out between us, I still hope we can be friends. I don't want you to be avoiding me like a plaque after today. And... i actually need your help for something..."

 

"What is it?" I asked while wiping my embarrassment to earnest listen to him.

 

"This is a very demanding request but I really can't trust any other people than you. It's okay with you don't want to, or if you hate me for even make such a request..."

 

Whatever that request is, clearly made him nervous. Either the request itself is very complicated or it's just very offensive. When I finally heard it from him, I felt it is both.

 

"I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. I know it's horrible after I made clear to you my position, but I thought I should be honest with you too. There's someone whom I can't face."

 

"Who is it?"

 

"... Princess Kana..."

 

I gasped. Of all people, it's her. She is the elder sister of Hikari and she has had a very assertive character when she was still in the palace. She is the icon of feminism and frequently clashes with her father for her active involvement in policies. Her love life was rumoured to be wild. Many princes of foreign lands asked for her hand, but one after another dated only awhile before she ditched them and not without ridiculing them. But why is Shohei affected by her? It's written all over his face, the look of uncertainty, the expression of a guy who has been hurt before. Was he one of the men she had her flings with? Somehow this mystery affected me more than his outright rejection. 

 

"I'm too demanding. I understand you won't want to. Sorry for taking up your time Mirei..." Shohei smiles as usual, leaving his seat as if nothing has happened.

 

"Wait..." i grabbed his hands without thinking. "I will help you." I don't know whether I have the courage to pull through a fictitious relationship which is based my own yearning, but even the slightest association with him is a bliss for me, and being a help to him at least leaves an impression somewhere in his memories.

 

"Thank you. I'm grateful for an eternity, Mirei" He embraced me in his wide spread arms. The warmth engulfed me, his cologne scent dulls my senses, the softness of his gentle hug sensualises the entire experience. My arms dangling by his side eventually finds a spot behind his back, I daringly tugged myself closer, gradually losing myself in his hug. I don't know how it ended, I only knew he did not ever pushed me away. 

 

***

Chinen POV

 

Kasumi has been proactively arranging a party tonight at our usual pub, to celebrate Ryosuke's comeback after the injuries and apparently as a welcome party for her too. I hope it isn't to break any news about her leaving again, just like the last time she did. I could still vividly remember the depressed face from Ryosuke when she broke the news. She didn't even give him a heads up. I did felt injustice for Ryosuke then and thought she wasn't considerate to his feelings at all. 

 

On my way out of class to get some hot pack for Umika who is bearing her unspeakable cramps, I saw Ryosuke and Daiki in the stairway. "The other time you said she was weird? Could you remind me again in what sense she's weird?"

 

"Who are you guys talking about?" I asked them after hearing Ryosuke's suspicion.

 

"He's talking about Hikari, but why did you ask again? I said she was too pure, mostly because there's so many life skills and common sense things that she didn't know, it feels like she's living in well?"

 

Ryosuke sighed at Daiki's statements and his brows are deeply knotted. 

 

"Why are you suddenly talking about this? Is something wrong?" I followed-up with my curiosity.

 

"There's just some things recently I can't quite connect together. I feel there's much more about her we don't know" he said. Think the rest of us were amused by Ryosuke. 

 

"Why are you even concerned? You're suspicious, Mr Yamada Ryosuke" Daiki clinged onto Ryosuke's neck and smirked after hinting the obvious interest in the girl. Instead of his irritation, Ryosuke looked serious as his conjecture about her. That deep knot on his brows never untangled. 

 

"Ah forget it... why do I even bother telling you guys " Ryosuke shrugged us away frustratedly and as much as I want to join Daiki to , he didn't seem to be joking. Is it just a case of being over sensitive.

 

Then nighttime came for the party. I picked up Umika nearby before heading over to the pub together. She is dressed in a pretty black dress and flats. It did make my heart skip a beat. "You're pretty today."

 

"Thank you Chinen," she sweetly smiled. The wind is nice so she said she wanted to take a stroll there. We didn't talk much, even before we started together cause she's always shy around me. But this time, i too felt nervous. Maybe there's no need for words, instead I took her hands dangling by her sides freely. She gave me a blank look but quickly eased into mine palms, giving it a light squeeze. 

 

"That's our first-first." 

 

She nodded in agreement with a light pink on her cheeks. 

 

"To many more firsts," I said in a bid to lighten the mood, and she did chuckle. "Anyway, Umika, when did you even start liking me?"

 

She paused for awhile like it was embarrassing to say, then she said, "from the first time we met."

 

"Ah, that's very long... and I couldn't even sense it. No wonder Ryosuke has been nagging at me so much all these time"

 

"It's okay. But Chinen, I'm still not sure... do you like me?"

 

It took her courage to do a second confession, and I could imagine her stress.

 

"You're always there even when we didn't talk much to each other in the clique. I took your presence very much for granted all these time that I never thought about a day we graduate and we go on parting ways. but when you ran off that time, I felt frustrated because i dont know what's wrong and I felt the feeling like I am losing you. I have never had you so it was so confusing to understand my own emotions. I guess you sort of walked in without me realising it ne"

 

She chuckled and I thought that was really cute. I was so close to kissing her for the second time since we dated. if it's not for the fact we arrived at our destination and Yudai was right there giving that smirk, I would have been able to relieve that one time I gave her the peck on the lips. I won't even call that a kiss since it's far milder than what Ryosuke described of his and Kasumi's. we walked up to Yudai and I secretly punched him on the sides as we walked in. He knew exactly what that is for from the continued smirk on his face. He's definitely going to tell the rest.

 

Maybe not.

 

When we arrived at the usual corner of the pub, we could feel some tension. Everyone was seated down, looking at Kasumi who seemed to have announced something that created a storm?

 

"What's up?" I asked Daiki as we approached to clique. 

 

"Just received a surprise from Kasumi. She and Ryosuke will head to New York right after graduation."

 

"Heh? What for?" 

 

"I'm going there to continue my ballet, and Ryosuke will follow me. He will be my manager" Kasumi turned to Ryosuke with her radiance glowing on her face.

 

"And when will you guys be back?"

 

"Not soon... i plan to develop there in the long term. Their market is bigger. And if I get some endorsement from the royal ballet group, it'll help me become someone even bigger over there."

 

I stared at Ryosuke who is maintaining a pokerface without any sense of remorse from keeping this from us. I'm not expecting that he doesn't go for it because of his friends but the least is to break it to us before his girlfriend announced it. Are we not important to him that he needn't let us know?! "Congrats on your new plans. I guess it's goodbye very soon ne" I suppressed my unhappiness, but I guess Ryosuke knew me too well not to sense my sarcasm.

 

"Chinen..." i hear him call out to me, but i brushed it off and level up my sarcasm with a toast. Everyone was basically awkward for awhile. I shifted my attention to Umika who is entertaining me with her cocktail mixing. Airi is playing pokercards with Yudai. Daiki sat beside Hikari who doesn't seem herself. She seems distracted; her eyes strangely fixated at Ryosuke and Kasumi who are more intimate than they normally are. Kasumi was especially clingy, and several times I saw her initiating intimate touches all over Ryosuke. The latter was massively drinking, not giving his full attention to Kasumi's hardcore lust. Hikari feeling down also kinda make me think the trio has gotten themselves into a messy web of relationships, and Kasumi is basically marking her territory.

 

"Hikari, if you're not comfortable with this place, you don't have to force yourself though. We can get you a taxi." Kasumi said while leaning on Ryosuke's shoulder.

 

"I'm okay..." the girl replied in such awkward shyness that I feel so bad for her. Maybe she should consider taking up the offer, she really don't seem to like the place.

 

"You sure? If you can't drink alcohol, we can get some fruit juices for you." 

 

"Let me get it for you..." Daiki responded, but she refused politely then excused herself to the toilet. All our eyes sort of followed her movement, and it was Airi who sprung up from her seat first. 

 

"I'll go check on her..."

 

"Airi, I'll go instead. I need the washroom anyway," Kasumi moved ahead. It was then only that Daiki took the chance to confront Ryosuke, as if he had been waiting for the chance all these while. 

 

"Was it your idea or she stuffed it on you?" Daiki asserted harshly. Ryosuke didn't answer, he continued to focus on swirling the glass of beer on his hand. Daiki continued his monologue, albeit his patience was running low. "If you tell me it was one-sidedly planned and you know nuts about it, I'll completely believe since we all know she also planned to leave the first time without consulting you. Her track records ain't that good anyway."

 

"Don't say that about her. It's our plans." Ryosuke rebutted with annoyance in his tone. He gulped down half a jug in one breathe while Daiki finally raised his voice at him.

 

"So If she hadn't announced it, were you intending to hide from us?! Maybe I was thinking too highly about our friendship. Best friends? Pfft... Chinen, we are not even considered worthy of knowing his plans. And Ryosuke, you're a loser." Daiki stormed off before anyone could stop him. I decided to chase after, with Umika along.

 

"Chi..." Ryosuke called out again, and this time he said apologetically, "sorry..." in the short turn of event, I sort of already realised Ryosuke didn't know of the plan in advance. He probably knew it the same time as us, just like the last time Kasumi broke the news of her plans for departure. Yet I couldn't bring myself to show any sympathy to Ryosuke at this point cause he kept quiet the whole time even when Daiki asked. I could see him completely in frustration at the corner of my eyes when we left.

 

I caught up to Daiki. He wasn't far from the exit of the pub. He was ranting so furiously, "I bet all my assets that he didn't know anything Kasumi had planned."

 

"You think so too~"

 

"Not just think, but it's ought to be the truth. What I'm more angry is that he kept quiet the whole time and not stand up for himself. He didn't even bother explaining to us. There's a limit to how much he should protect his dearest girlfriend. Are we not his friends?!"

 

"Actually, Daichan... i pity him just now. He is stuck in between." I said with Umika nodding in agreement. 

 

"I think he just didn't know how to tell us, without hurting Kasumi." She added.

 

"Well, you think I'm gonna hate on him? I'll just not talk to him until tomorrow." Daiki gruntled, while the 2 of us finally relieved our anxiety. "I hope Airi and Yudai stayed?"

 

"They were still there when we left but I doubt they're staying long. It's just too awkward, so they should likely turn in early today."

 

"I knew tonight isn't gonna be just a welcome gathering. Anyway I'm meeting my girl. See ya in school tomorrow. Chinen, the night is still young, take Umika out alright." Daiki teased while knocking me so hard, i knocked into Umika. I don't know about her, I definitely felt something fuzzy inside me that instant we touched. 

 

"Where shall we go, Umika? I'm kinda famished, maybe we can go for a bite?" 

 

"... Chi, did you see Hikari?"

 

Shaking my head, I recalled Kasumi going after her when she left for the toilet. The thought of it gave me some chills. I do hope it's nothing confrontational. 

 

***

 

Ryosuke POV 

 

Airi and Yudai left shortly after Chinen. There wasn't a reason for them to stay anyway since we barely talked after. Drowning myself with the beer in my hand, i have never felt so depressed. The nausea really added to my agony. Stumbling across the corridor towards the toilet, I heard the voices of Kasumi and Hikari. I was about to interrupt them until I held back and hid away from their sight to witness their unprecedented confrontation.

 

Kasumi was half a head taller than the petite Hikari. If Kasumi was the lady, Hikari really is just like a young girl in her shoulder hair length. Even Kasumi's voice was a notch louder.

 

It was however the words from the ever soft-spoken and timid Hikari that kept me shocked, "Ryosuke agreed to the plans? I thought he wouldn't cause his dreams will have to be shoved aside."

 

"His dreams?"

 

I haven't told anyone except Hikari so I'm not surprised by Kasumi's reaction. The latter brushed it away, "Anyway, he's my boyfriend. He'll go where I go and there's no better job than my boyfriend being my manager. It'll be easy for him so he can develop his careers there easily."

 

"But... he wants to work for the government here. Going with you isn't something he wants, isn't it?"

 

"Hikari, I think I know my boyfriend better than you. Besides, why are you so concerned about him... it's something I have wanted to ask, and since we're at it, I should just be direct about it... you like Ryosuke"

 

"Heh?! I don't..."

 

"You don't have to deny. It's a fact. If not, there's no possible explanation why you are fretting over an unconcerned person. I don't believe it's just out friendship."

 

"... so what if I do like him?! That doesn't justify you trampling on someone else's dreams for your own good. You're horrible as his girlfriend"

 

"Stop it you two!!! Quarrelling in public, what exactly are you girls thinking!!!" I busted out into the corridor. They had an obvious shock in their faces. I was staring at Hikari until Kasumi clinged onto me. 

 

"It's Hikari. She said I sacrificed your dreams for mine..."

 

"I...." 

 

I sarcastically laughed, interrupting her, "Dreams are impractical things in this country. Only the rich and the powerful can have dreams. Aren't i the best example back at the soccer match which we can't even punish the perpetrators... and Isn't that why you didn't have a dream too~ so Don't assume you know me well, cause you don't know me at all"

 

"Ryosuke... I..." 

 

Her eyes were definitely teary. I took Kasumi's hands and walked out on her, but the pitied look stuck in my mind.

 

"Ryosuke, ryosuke... you're hurting me..." Kasumi complained as I pulled her out with a strong grip. Until we are a distance away from the pub, I let go of her.

 

"That girl is full of nonsense. Getting angry over someone else's boyfriend. Who doesn't know she has a thing for you..." she clinged back to me, and I shook her off forcefully.

 

"Ryosuke?"

 

"And you think you're right? (Laughs) you're so full of yourself, Kasumi. Making decisions for me and breaking the news to everyone without even a basic courtesy of letting me know. I'm not even hoping you would discuss with me, but at least tell me. You're my girlfriend, yet you can't be bothered."

 

"But I'm telling you now. I thought it'll be a surprise. And You'll support me, right? So knowing now or later doesn't matter."

 

"Surprise? It's not even the least bit pleasant. And you still don't get it. I'm your boyfriend, not your slave. I need some respect as well. You don't simply make decisions for me. Don't assume that I go all out to support your dreams."

 

"Didn't you say just now, that you can never fulfil your dreams? So why are you conflicting yourself?"

 

I sighed in frustration, "yes, I am conflicting myself. It's dreams, and I do want to try it. Why is it that Hikari gets it and you don't? You are only thinking about yourself. Anyway, I said all those harsh things to her not because I agreed with you, I just didn't want you to look bad."

 

"... Yamada Ryosuke, you like her don't you?" She pulled me back as soon as I tried to walk off for a cooling period before we start antagonising each other further. I guess my strategy didn't work with her as she came out with the most unreasonable accusation.

 

"You're unbelievable. I really don't want to argue with you over your stupid statements."

 

"It's stupid because you know it's true! She likes you and you like her too!"

 

"If you want to think that way, im not gonna stop you. Anyway, if I do like her, I don't have to report to you right? It's mutual since you don't ever tell me anything either!" I broke off her grip and stormed off. I know what I said was harsh to her but I can't help it since she was very hurtful in her decisions all these while. I knew she was like this all this while, seeing herself as more important than others. But somehow as time grew, what seems like a trivial fact about her becomes our tipping point in so many occasions. Have we been apart too long? Or... did the people around me affected my predisposition, people such as Hikari? 

 

No, it can't be. I slapped my head as it throbbed in agony from the aftermath of the alcohol. As I held my head, there's one thing Kasumi was right during our quibble - Hikari likes me. 

 

It changes the status quo completely, and I realised I can't feign ignorance as if I knew none of that unexpected revelation. Especially when it wasn't exactly my intend to scold her in front of Kasumi. I only did so because I believe she is more understanding than Kasumi and that logically, it would only have made sense for  any gentleman to defend his own girlfriend. I had wanted to apologise but now I find myself stranded by my guilt and confusion of her feelings for me. I saw her after the weekends, and she's smiling lesser, and even when she's talking to Airi and Umika, she looks disinterested and distracted. There were few times our eyes met and immediately we shifted our gazes away in a coordinated manner. Have we become a plague to each other. If I allowed it to fester, I'll lose a friend.

 

When the bell rang for dismissal, I saw Hikari avoiding my gaze and dashing off right after, before Airi and Umika can ask where she is heading. I hollered to her from behind but I guess she was too engrossed to hear me. I followed until I saw her turning in to the nurse's office. She's not well? 

 

"Yuriko..." she hugged the nurse. She called her by her name? So they are closer than I thought. The other time, Daiki was telling us how it is strange for the nurse to be around at camp, could it have something to do with Hikari? She did attend to her injuries that day. No, I must have watched too many detective films that I'm overthinking things. They're probably just acquaintances, and there's nothing really wrong with it.

 

"Is it difficult?" the nurse asked while patting her lightly. 

 

"Yes, harder than I thought. I can't face him at all, and I don't know why... Yuriko, let's go home."

 

"Heh? You two stay together?" I couldn't help but finally made my presence known. 

 

"When were you here?!" They two exclaimed in such shock as if they had something sneaky going on. It's quite conclusive by now that there's more that meets the eye. 

 

"Ryosuke, we're..."

 

"Hikari is my friend and neighbour. Is there anything wrong?"

 

"... i guess not..." 

 

"Then Hikari, let's go..." the nurse grabbed Hikari and they brushed past me. I shared a brief glance with Hikari and got reminded my reason for coming to her in the first place.

 

"Hikari..." 

 

She turned back and while we were now facing each other, neither of us looked at each other. That awkwardness was burning me up and I couldn't quite distract myself from her feelings towards me. 

 

"About that day, I'm sorry."

 

"Hikari, let's go..." the nurse grabbed her away before I could explain further. She did nod lightly. I sighed helplessly, scratching my head in disappointment with myself for being a complete coward in this situation. I may really risk losing a friend and somehow it's a big deal to me.

 

My phone vibrated, and that message came "Ryosuke. Please talk to me. I'm really sorry. Let's discuss about this". Annoyed, I was. I shut off my phone from Kasumi’s messages.

 

"Chi!" I ran after Chinen when I saw him around the corner. He hasn't forgiven me, seeing how he sped up when he sensed me chasing after. So I grabbed him by his shoulders once it was within reach. 

 

"Didn't you hear me call you? You are still angry with me..."

 

"Not gonna deny it. Anyway, it wouldn't matter. Afterall it's your choice, your life. We're just your friends, nothing more."

 

"What are you saying? You guys are my Only Friends! Especially you Chinen, we know each other pretty much our whole life. If it's between you and her, I'll choose you."

 

Silence dragged then Chinen bursted out in laughter. He's unstoppable no matter how I call out to him. 

 

"Ryosuke, you're hilarious. But thanks for choosing me instead. Daiki, you see, i told you he's not the kind that forsake us for love." Chinen put his shoulders over me, and hollered over to Daiki who walked out with a smirk.

 

"I forgive you too..."

 

"What? The two of you are fooling with me..." Annoyed, I shoved them away from me. They laughed in unison. Deep down, i was relieved, joining them in their laughter while openly calling them the baka duo.

 

"You mean the baka trio? You are the leader of the trio" Daiki reminded. I dragged them both to the pub for another proper session of drinking. This time, just the three of us. No other people.

 

"Anou, what happened between you and Hikari? I didn't hear your conversations but both of you look awkward. Did something happen after we left?" Chinen exclaimed. I'm surprised Daiki was the one who accurately decipher it without seeing it happen.

 

"Isn't it obvious Chinen... kasumi and hikari must have had a catfight over mr cool guy over here."

 

"Heh?! You mean Hikari likes Ryosuke?"

 

Daiki sighed. "Understandably Chinen is always slow in these stuff. But I'm awfully disappointed with you Ryosuke. You're supposed to be observant but you're surprisingly slow too."

 

"What... i thought she's just being needy." I downed another jug of beer, feeling perplexed. Kasumi and her arrangements were already a headache for me, now Hikari.

 

"Seriously, Ryosuke... tell us honestly.. do you have any feelings for Hikari?"

 

"No."

 

"I don't think so. If you don't have feelings for her, you wouldn't be here drinking like a depressed soul. You needn't feel troubled also since you already have a girlfriend."

 

Chinen gasped at Daiki's revelation, and it took me awhile to reconcile what he said. While I shook my head in protest, I couldn't quite understand myself. 

 

He warned me sternly, "whatever it is, i suggest you concentrate on your girlfriend. Hikari will get your hint and gives up. If you continue to worry for her, you'll only send the wrong signal."

 

"But... the problem is I scolded her unreasonably that day... and now I feel horrible... ah, you guys wouldn't understand..."

 

"Don't know what you are saying but you've got to stop drinking..." Daiki pulled the beer off from my hands. Everything is becoming a bit floaty through my eyes. I could hear Chinen and the discussion vaguely in my subconsciousness.

 

"I think he's already drunk. We should call his sis?"

 

"Nah... give the couple a chance to reconcile. Call Kasumi..."

 

***

Kasumi POV

 

"Sorry! I'm late. I rushed here as soon as my practice is over." I ran into the pub and saw Ryosuke lying on the couch, completely in a state of concuss, with Chinen and Daiki sitting at the corner, chatting.

 

"We thought you'll come the next day when it's sun rise." Daiki's sarcasm was targeted right at me, but it quickly reduced to a smile that eased me right back in. I knew Daiki, Chinen and even Ryosuke are still angry with my announcement and that's probably why Ryosuke is completely drunk too. Fortunately they still respected me as his girlfriend. "We'll leave him in your good care ne."

 

"Sure. We'll help you bring him onto the cab." Chinen offered, then both guys held him on either side of his arms. Proceeding outside, I opened the door to the cab I came in. They waved goodbye and when the cab drove off, I informed the cabbie of the destination.

 

My house.

 

I figure I can take care of him. It's not the first time we took care of each other anyway. Rather than saying it's difficult, I enjoyed having him on my back. His breathe brushed against the back of my ears, his warmth transmitted to me where our skins touched and the spicy cologne smell tipping off my senses. I'm . 

 

Throwing him on my bed, I took a pail of water and started taking heat off his skin, hoping it makes the hangover better. As I run the towel on his face, it got my concentrated on how handsome he is. It's not like I didn't know but... it had been a long time since we came in such proximity. Things were so messy between us after I got back. I was reminded of my rage on Hikari. Ryosuke is mine and I will show it to her.

 

"Ryosuke, I'll let you feel happy today ne." It has been a long time since our last, and I got nervous slightly as I removed his top. Going on top of him, I left a trail of kisses and nibbles from his lips to his ear lopes, his neck and his chest. My hands found it's way down, ping and letting myself in.

 

"Arghh.. ," He moaned. I could hear him faintly refusing my offer. It angered me. He has never refused me before. Is it because of her?! I forced him into me, ing by myself. We moaned but I silenced him with my lips. As much as he resisted with his subconsciousness, his hands finally relaxed and rested on my back. We got all sweaty in the action, and I rested on his chest with our fingers entwined. Doing it alone was tiring, especially when usually he leads, and he is really good at making a girl feel all loved and comfortable. I caressed my adorable sleeping boyfriend, tracing my fingers on his frowning brows. I tugged my arms around his torso, feeling the warmth he was emitting and smiled widely after giving him a kiss at the corner of his faint pink lips. 

 

"I'm the only one who can make you, Ryosuke... Oyasumi..."

 

Had it been hours? Time flies so fast in Ryosuke's embrace. I feel him leaving our common space, and that space he left behind was like a hole in my heart. But he filled it up right away with a kiss on my forehead. He didn't know I was awake so I quietly watched as he threw his uniform in my washing machine, then trailed off to the toilet.

 

I took another quick wink of sleep and before I know it, he is out with a white tank top and a pair of his shorts I stored in my house. I chuckled when I saw how unhairy his legs were, unlike his underarms which were so y.

 

I snuck up behind him while he made breakfast, then wrapped my arms around his torso and leaned my head on his shoulders. "Ohayou..."

 

"Ohayou... did you have a good sleep?"

 

"Yes... because I have you around."

 

He sighed, probably because he didn't quite agree to yesterday's plan. 

 

"Does your head hurt? You drank a lot yesterday "

 

"A little. But don't worry. I'll be okay. Give me awhile, breakfast will be ready. You can go take a seat first. Ah, could you help me iron my uniform? It should be done in your dry cleaner."

 

I whined. But he lightly hit my head, "don't be lazy. Help me with it... if not I'll be late for school."

 

"Take leave today. Accompany me..."

 

"Are you gonna be spoiled still..." 

 

He sounded annoyed so I was careful not to agitate him further since at least he's at peace with me now. I did as he said while he charmingly laid out the table for breakfast. I could imagine myself as the most enviable lady in the land with him as my husband. He cooks so well, he's so cool and street smart, he's so handsome.

 

"Thanks." He took the clothes from me while i was helplessly gazing at him, and he's so fast that he dressed up before I could take another glance of seductive exposed skin. Pouting slightly, I sat at the dining table which is now laid with a sumptous western breakfast - sunny sideup with sausages. It brings a smile on my lips, especially when my view is set in a backdrop of the perfect him. His full concentration on eating his breakfast was too captivating to indulge in my own. 

 

"Give me some time. Things just got better between me and my sis... if i don't break it to her properly, I could turn the tide again with our kinship." He said about my request of our migration. I was so happy that he is acceding to it that I ran behind him and give him a hug from the back.

 

"I haven't confirmed it. Don't set your expectations too high. I don't want to have to disappoint you later when things don't work out."

 

"You're willing to give up your dreams for me. I'm already very touched. Thank you Ryosuke." 

 

I saw him off to school and I looked up from afar at the class where he is in. "Hikari, you don't even stand a chance with my boyfriend." I smirked in delight as I await her crushing hopes.

 

***

 

Ryosuke POV

 

I must have been overly concerned with Hikari to actually look for her as soon as I entered class. Not being able to properly apologise to her still left a feeling of incompleteness within me. I saw Hikari looking completely downcast and I swore she avoided my gaze as soon as I entered. I thought we were okay after my apology? I thought Airi and Umika would have a clue about why Hikari was sulking, but instead they were all chatting about Kasumi's magazine shoots with an arts magazine who featured her ballet dreams. Apparently the girls are meeting Kasumi after school for shopping. But Hikari isn't invited, according to Yudai. I could see that she tried to join in the girls conversations but all she accomplished was just standing by the side, unable to find an opportune to even say a word. I felt embarrassed for her. But at least she could listen in to the conversations... when school ended, she's really bearing the brunt of the exclusion. Airi and Umika along with some other girls, left to meet Kasumi, leaving her alone seated at her seat as if she has lost her soul. I stood outside the class, thinking hard what I should do with this girl, albeit I knew I would end up not doing anything. 

 

"Moshi moshi" i picked up a call while being distracted with the distraught girl.

 

"Ryosuke... im meeting Airi and the girls. You coming?"

 

"It's okay, I'll give it a miss... i have some studies to do in school. Have fun with the others." I said right before I hung up. It's right then I heard some sniffing sound and realised she's not right. She's crying! She hadn't noticed I had approached, very much because her head was buried between her folded arms. Her hands were holding on to her phone which seemed to be the source of her unhappiness.

 

It was mine too.

 

That photo flashed on her phone - it's me and Kasumi IN BED?!!!

 

"Heh?!!" I snatched the phone from her hand and that startled her. She was wiping her tears while protesting for me to return it. I was not going to do that until I find out the sender.

 

"Kasumi? Why did she send this?" I mumbled to myself. "Sorry Hikari... I don't know what happened but you shouldn't have seen these photos.... Hikari can we talk?" I grabbed her by her arms. But with her small strength she shook away my grip. I could have insisted but I didn't want to agitate her nor hurt her further. Besides, her words shocked me beyond my ability. 

 

"You're dirty. You're not married and you two slept together! And... I know she's closer to all of you, Airi, Umika, Yudai, Daiki, everyone else., and there's nothing I can do to be just as close with you guys as she is. I thought I was doing better already, now I'm back to the same - alone! 

 

I hate her..."

 

I know Hikari has bottled up so much of her uneasiness of friendship. I know part of her stress was me. But it must have pushed her over her limits to say such stuff. A nice girl showing even the slightest vengeance evoked intense guilt within me. She pushed me away and again I was stranded by my own moral courage to chase after. When she cried in front of me, I had the urge, the very strong urge to hold her in my arms, to silence her cries, to cushion her pressure. My fist curled tightly, I clenched in rage. With tightening jaws, I fought my own inertia to face the issue in an irreversible way. 

 

For hours, I stood outside her door. Thinking and rethinking what we went wrong and what I had done wrongly. I wasn't entirely sure then, now I am. We're at a tipping point and it's the time to settle it once and for all.

 

"Ryosuke?... look i bought stuff for you! I had so much fun with Airi and the rest.. if only you joined us, it'll be much more fun." Kasumi jumped towards me, flaunting her shopping bags and drawing out my gifts including a shirt amongst many things.

 

"Why did you have to do it?" I said coldly, putting a tough halt to her excitement and overwhelming happiness.

 

"What is it?" She feigned ignorance, obviously.

 

"Don't pretend. The photo you sent to Hikari, what were you trying to do?!"

 

"... you found out..."

 

"If I hadn't found out, you would continue doing such horrendous things behind my back?!"

 

"I did it to help you. She is a nuisance. Now she wouldn't have any hopes with you, and that saves you a lot of headache."

 

"She's my friend!"

 

"She's more than just friend, you mean? If not, you wouldn't be getting angry with me!" 

 

"Why can't you just trust me? You know what, since there's no trust between us, there's no point being together. Let's just break up. It's our best option"

 

"No no... Ryosuke... don't say that. We're not breaking up..." she wrapped her arms around me, clinging onto me like a leech. "I can change! Really!"

 

Sigh. "I don't need you to change for me, Kasumi. The problem is not yours. It's mine. I can't give you the security and assurance as a boyfriend. The distance between us have been widening. Haven't you realised ever since you got back, we haven't stop quarrelling. We're tiring each other out by trying to please each other. You go ahead and chase after your dreams. You'll do well, especially without me at your side dragging your feet." I released myself from her hands

 

"Ryosuke... RYOSUKE!" 

 

I ignored her and stomped back home, with a quick stop at the convenience store to grab bottles of alcohol. I love Kasumi so breaking up with her is a big deal to me. My heart aches so bad, but it isn't always that I could gather my decisiveness to do a clean break. I downed 2 bottles as I sat on my couch but still it did little to numb that pain. I loosened my top as the heat emitting out was too much to take instead.  

 

As I gulped down the third, a strong slap hit the back of my head. "Itai!"

 

"How much more you wanna drink in 2 consecutive days. Baka."

 

"Oneesan.. you won't understand..."

 

"I think I understand it well enough. Anyway, it's not like she's your first love anyway."

 

I pushed her hands away as she pat my head like i was a small boy. She sat beside me then lowered her head on the table and stared at me with her sleepy eyes.

 

"You can just go ahead and sleep you know. I will be fine."

 

"Can't I just sit here with you? You are going to chase me away?"

 

I smiled slightly. 

 

"Ryosuke, recently... i saw him."

 

"Him?" I thought awhile, then I realised she meant her boyfriend, her former boyfriend. "Did he see you?"

 

"He did."

 

"Then what did he say?"

 

"We didn't acknowledge each other. In fact, Ryosuke, I don't even know if he remembers me. Maybe he has moved on..."

 

She was choking on her words. She took the half drank bottle from me and gulped it down in a breathe.

 

"I thought I have gotten rid of him in my mind when he left me that day... but how is it that I still feel so horrible."

 

There's no condolences I can offer except silently listen to her regrets. Her love is much deeper for that guy than me for Kasumi. Throughout the conversation, she said nothing about where she saw him, when she saw him and who he was exactly. I could only be her listening ear because I myself is in no position to advise her. We continued to drink until we both dropped onto the table, asleep in our sorrows, with hopes that it will all begone by the next morning. 

 

***

Hikari POV

 

Airi and Umika were laughing non-stop. I looked at them, embarrassed of myself. I thought asking them would avoid the need to face the interrogation by my royal followers, but instead I had to face their mocking tone and realise the stupidity of my own statements.

 

"Hikari, you really said that to Ryosuke?! About him being and asleep with Kasumi? You know that's not all they did right?" Airi laughed.

 

"Well, Airi, she said she didn't know what exactly they did. So they had , Hikari... and I'm not sure about you, but that's what lovers today do. Even though I didn't have as much experience, I knew that too... and you don't?" Umika joined her laughing. 

 

"Shouldn't that be done after marriage? It's dirty..." they burst out laughing as soon as I said. Why? Those are the virtues of a lady and a respect of the man written in the royal manuscripts of values. 

 

"What was his reaction when you said he was dirty?" Airi held her laughter until I said he didn't react.

 

"I don't know anyone who could react to that line. he would have been dirty many times."

 

"Many times?!" I was astonished. One was too many in my opinion already.

 

"You really underestimated Ryosuke ne. He's so popular in school. Kasumi isn't his first girlfriend. And Hikari, you still dont get it, do you? You're just too innocent. Alot of people have done it before. as long as you have dated, you're likely to have done it before." Airi explained. I do understand but it's so hard to accept the reality of things that's so different from what I know from books. I'm like a frog in the well, never dated before. In fact, I have no freedom to fall in love with whoever I want to. Matchmaking is part and parcel of my life and while it hasn't formally happened because I have tried to dodge it so far, I'm sure it'll happen soon with my coronation in due time. 

 

"Airi, Umika.. sorry. I think I sort of mess up. I might have caused your friend's breakup with Ryosuke."

 

"Hikari... there's nothing to feel apologetic about. She's our friend, but so are you. We are sorry instead, we have been neglecting you since she returned. And liking Ryosuke has no wrong, and you definitely didn't cause the breakup. There are things that come between them, including her plans for Ryosuke to migrate with her to become her manager. I heard from Chinen that it really strained things abit between them. So really just let it pass." Airi pat my back and Umika followed suit with a supportive smile. While cuddling together, Umika got my heart racing with her announcement.

 

"Hey Hikari... here comes the guys. You might wanna pull yourself together."

 

There I saw Daiki and Ryosuke pacing towards us. "Hello girls.. Hikari, sensei spoke to us earlier about the preparation work for the volunteer project for the orphanage. Why didn't you tell us you needed help? She said you were struggling by yourself. It made us look like inconsiderate classmates." Daiki said with annoyance. Ryosuke stood at the back without much expression. 

 

"Ah, i was wondering what's the status too. Hikari, you should have told us. It'll be fun preparing the stuff together for the kids. It's not a solo project you know. Unless you are planning to get all the credit to yourself." Umika grumbled. I was immensely apologetic.

 

"Sorry sorry. I thought you guys are busy with finals. And since it was my idea, I didn't wanna trouble you guys."

 

"It's your idea and we were all in it. Hikari, you are really confused ne. Could you just not keep to yourself everytime." Daiki ranted. I did feel so bad I felt my stomach churning, my heart wrenching. I really am a cry baby.

 

"No point grudging over it Daiki. Hikari, do you have your programmes breakdown with you? We can take a look at your plans and see what we need." Ryosuke interrupted. I nodded while only making quick glances with him. He was acting like nothing has happened or nothing I said ever mattered. He was indifferent. As he browsed my plans, he asked, "the programme is 2 hours and your plan is just for them to eat and mingle?"

 

"I thought that's about all for party?" At least that's what I remembered of mine. The birthday parties i had were filled with food, And everyone else were talking to each other. 

 

He sighed. "Your party is gonna be a flop Hikari. It won't be fun for the kids. We've got to change this. We have a week from now. Party props, food, we have to get them by tomorrow. Programme wise..."

 

"Leave it to me and Airi. Possibly Chinen can help us with it" Umika was all hyped up when she volunteered her service. I was wrong about them dreading to do this project. When Daiki addressed the class the next day, everyone assembled quickly and roles were handed out. Yudai led a team to help with party props, Umika led a team for the special program and Daiki led a team for food. Well, his team was me, Ryosuke and himself. Any team, but Ryosuke's, was what came to my mind. The mental game, made by my guilt of causing a fall out between a couple was intense, even though Airi has tried convincing that they would break up with or without my presence. Then my embarrassment of my words I spoke to him that day was even more tormenting. Seeing him reminds me of my stupidity and his indifferent attitude towards me made me awkward in all sense.

 

So we went out after school to get the food stuff. Ryosuke and Daiki walked in the front and was discussing on the transport plans to and fro the biggest supermarket in the far end of the city. I guess they knew I can't add value in their discussion since I am likely to not know the place at all.

 

"Hikari, we'll take the train there. It's a longer journey, likely not comfortable too, but it's cheaper. We will take the cab back instead since our hands will be too loaded for the train then. You okay with it?" Daiki asked, in a much more kind and caring tone compared to yesterday's. I nodded timidly nonetheless. 

 

"Let's go then!" He returned a smile then proceeded to talk to Ryosuke in the front. From the back, they look like brothers. Sometimes laughing, sometimes punching each other lightly, sometimes arms over each other. If only I could be casual to both of them.

 

"Guys..." i actually unconsciously called out to them in the midst of my thoughts. Ahhh... they both turned and I've got nothing to say.

 

"Ah, sorry..." Ryosuke said. I didn't know what the apology was for until I saw them slowing down to accommodate my speed. that wasn't my intention, so I sighed at how I again got into their discomfort. I walk beside Ryosuke, and once in awhile he will turn to make sure I'm okay. It's a quick glance and I'm careful not to meet his eyes. our arms would brush against each other then I'll realise we are too close so I'll retract a little. Though he didn't seem to care of the physical space.

 

Once we were at the train station, we had to queue. It has been rather long since I queued for anything. The queue wasn't long though. BUT the horror came when I saw a full packed train, and people are still making their way in. I thought we wouldn't be one of them but Daiki and Ryosuke were almost unconcerned about the crowd. They let me move in first before they pushed their way in too. I was slightly separated from the 2 of them but that can't be help since everyone is literally sticking onto everyone. I was sandwiched between 2 men who are a few heads taller than me. They are skinny, but they take up more physical space into mine. I was suffocating and it was to a point that my head was desperately trying to gasp fresh air from his body weight on my front. It was frightening later on when I thought I felt hands running around my lower back. I tried to see what's going on but it was impossible. I twitched my body, trying to avoid that strange feeling, but it became worst. I could feel hands touching me. My tears were on the verge of bursting, yet I couldn't say a word. I was frightened. Everything else was deafening to my ears until faintly i heard my name.

 

"Hikari..."

 

I wiped my fallen tears and looked up. Ryosuke has squeezed himself towards me, with stern eyes staring into the 2 men. The 2 looked genuinely frightened at him. "Don't let me ever see you two again!"

 

He took my frozen hands, then squeezed through the crowd to a corner where Daiki was. I had a pocket of space against a wall, and Ryosuke stood facing me, with one arm leaned against on the wall, encapsulating me within his self-made shield from the endless crowd squeezing into the overflowing train. 

 

"What happened?" Standing beside us, Daiki asked Ryosuke.

 

"2 erts were touching her."

 

I was appalled cause it didn't occur to me that happened. Mostly because there's really no physical distance between everyone. What I'm getting now was the protective shield by Ryosuke who is getting quite a tough push from others on his back that's sustaining the 'shield'.

 

"You have amazing tolerance Hikari," Daiki lightly pat my head. It was sarcasm for sure but he isn't annoyed from the sound of his tone. I couldn't concentrate for the last hour during the ride because the space between me and Ryosuke gets negligible. He was leaning on me several times after he succumbed to the pressure from the crowd behind. He apologised everytime that happens, and it transpires not only through words but his face too. It came a point that i could see the tiredness in his eyes. I gradually led my hands onto the sides of his shirt with my fingers naturally entwined with it. Gripping it lightly, I brought myself even closer. My head buried on his shoulders, and if I ain't careful, our face could crash into each other when we turn. So i fully concentrate on the front and nowhere else, while letting his cologne smell penetrate my senses. He didn't push me away too, instead I felt him relaxing his tired limbs. I'm glad I could make him feel better. 

 

"Hikari... Hikari..." 

 

"Heh?!" Gosh I've fallen asleep standing up, I never thought I had that skills in me. Ryosuke was calling me yet never moved an inch from me. When I peeked out from his shoulders, and gently parted from his comfort arms, there's already no crowd. That's the biggest embarrassment. I bet the guards protecting me from afar today would report it to Yabu. 

 

"Sorry!"

 

"Are you tired?" He asked as he walked by my side out of the train. 

 

"I'm not. It's just that..."

 

"His arms are nice to sleep in I guess?" Daiki started his teasing, successfully earning a death stare from Ryosuke. "What... she likes you, you don't like her... everyone knows it right so best to face it. Right Hikari?" He leaned his arms over my shoulder. 

 

"Ignore him, Hikari. Let's go" Ryosuke pulled me with him, while Daiki pouted. He ran after us, but the latter brought me closer and shook him away. "Don't pollute her, Arioka Daiki..."

 

"Ahhh forgive me Yamada sama." Daiki laughed and Ryosuke was tickled by the way Daiki addressed him. 

 

I think Ryosuke pretended to be completely ignorant of what happened between us, ignorant of Daiki's teasing and all so that I won't feel bad about it. Even Daiki did that to make me feel less awkward. He's right. It's better to face it. 

 

Ryosuke was better at choosing raw stuff so me and Daiki went as a pair to pick the dry items once we reached the supermarket. Daiki is back to his usual considerate self, helping me whenever he has free hands, guiding me along knowing that I'm completely lost, patiently and warmly. "Let me get the party hats." I volunteered for the most confident item in the list. Daiki smiled back.

 

Yeeks. Why is it so high up. It's nothing I expected. Just one thing I thought I can do without troubling others, I end up being helpless again. I swore I won't have to ask anyone for help. I tip toed, jumped and i was merely a few millimetres away. I can do it, i convinced myself.

 

Failed. Not because of my lack of perseverance. I was intercepted. Disrupted. I wasn't allowed to try as soon as he stretched out his hands over me to grab the hats. He handed it over to me, and at that point we were in close proximity again. I thought the time in the train would have made everything less heartpounding.

 

"Thank you."

 

He smiled, subtle but gorgeous. I can't breathe. I'm hyperventilating. 

 

"Hikari?"

 

"Heh... sorry! I'll go look for Daiki in case he needs my help." I dodged from his side and dashed off like I was running from a plaque. 

 

"You're red like a tomato. Let me guess... Ryosuke?" Daiki looked at me regardless how I try to avoid his intimidating gaze. "He has broken up with Kasumi, you know right. I guess it's your chance, and since you're a nice girl after all, let me give you a heads up." He brought his face close to me and whispered in my ears, "he has already received tons of love letters. He didn't dump them away. So if you really like him, you've got to act fast, tell him again how much you like him..." He added as he parted, "i dont know your chance. It may not be high but if you don't try you never know. I did try to ask him about how he thinks of you..."

 

"How did he think of me....?"

 

"Hmmm. Always looking confused, very shy, muddlehead..."

 

"It's all negative..."

 

"Not all. He says you're innocent and sincere. That's a great compliment though since not many girls can be in this category. He didn't exactly express a like or dislike. It's for you to ask him yourself... there he is..."

 

"Ah Ryosuke.." i might have looked a tint bit astonished. He is definitely suspicious of our conversations.

 

 "Are you guys done?" He asked in somewhat annoyance. We both nodded in unison then proceeded to make payment.

 

"Let's grab a taxi to his house" Daiki coordinated. I was confused. I thought we are heading back. Ryosuke saw my confused face and addressed my silent queries immediately with a knock on my head.

 

"Hello it's Hikari there...(laughs) we discussed this didn't we. Shop then head to my house to see what we can do for the preparation. You're not expecting me to do it by myself ne."

 

"But I'm not good at cooking..."

 

"I'm your mentor remember. I'll do what I can."

 

Daiki added, "besides there're other things to do."

 

So we trio took a taxi to Ryosuke's house. Most of the loads are with the guys. Well I was holding the groceries with my two hands full initially but Ryosuke took one of mine over. There were many instances I wanted to face him properly, I can't. And when I saw her outside his house, I'm even more convinced there's no way I could.

 

"So now you're seizing your chance?! You're really stooping low, Hikari!" the girl stomped forward and before I could react, a slap landed on my cheeks. The impact was so great I took steps back and unfortunately tripped over a groove and fell on my bottoms. I could faintly hear Daiki and Ryosuke gasped in unison while I tried to recover from the impact. Daiki came to me, being absolutely gentle and manly in that instance.

 

"Are you okay, Hikari? Able to stand up? I'll hold you." Daiki bombarded with questions but his kind gestures were enough to calm my tense nerves. He took me on my arms then slowly held me up. My does hurt a little but it was more my face that stings more. I was trembling, fearful in facing a problem caused by me. Coward, I am. I can't even explain myself. All I could say is Sorry, as I apologised profusely. She didn't accept it and there were tears in her eyes too. I hurt her and I deserved it. I felt Daiki lightly squeezing my arms, and his eyes conveyed a sense of protection and console.

 

Kasumi hugged Ryosuke after he reprimanded her, and she didn't let go even when he sternly told her to. If I were Kasumi, I would have done the same. Letting go means the end. If my happiness is in my hands, I'll never let go. 

 

But he was determined. He pushed her away.

 

"Ryosuke~" She cried. Daiki left my side and pulled Kasumi away. He asked her to calm down but she wouldn't.

 

"Ryosuke, I'll take her home!" Daiki grabbed the unstable Kasumi away, and gradually the night was peaceful again. The silence was deafening so much that I felt unbearable. My legs were weak, and before I know it, I squat on the hard floor, crying my lungs out. It was so embarrassing, I hid my head between my knees, crouching down like a baby.

 

he squat in front of me, peering at me which I could see through the small gap between my arms. Without a word at all, he pulled me in to his house and got me on that familiar couch. It was a deja vu, except this time, I couldn't calm my nerves at all, and this time, he didn't give me much time alone. Returning quickly with a small towel, he held my face. Despite me trying desperately to shrug away, his grip was firm and his glance was serious. He lightly patted the warm towel on my stinging cheeks, so gently as if he was afraid any harder would hurt me. I hope time would freeze now but when it did, I thought my heart will burst apart. His eyes shifted to mine and when that happen, something else fluttered. A strange feeling of connection drew us closer, inching nearer to each other naturally. That sense of connection like the world had only space for us, those eyes that could only see each other, i finally knew what affection means. I could already feel his minty breathe from his warm expiration, and I shut my eyes thinking that the moment our lips would touch would be just a split second away. 

 

"Tadaima..." a tired voice startled the two of us, and it most especially got Ryosuke pulling apart from me like he suddenly realised it was a bad move. I was secretly offended, while at the same time, I agree with him that it was a terrible move.

 

"Oneesan."

 

"Ah... Ryosuke, I didn't know she's here"

 

I stood up quickly and greeted while wiping off my tears. It's probably obvious enough with my reddened eyes that I just cried, but it's obvious on her too. Her eyes were red as well and I'm sure Ryosuke saw it too.

 

"You two continue. I'm a little tired today, i will head to bed earlier. Nights!" She mustered a smile so awkward before trailing off to her room.

 

"is she okay?"

 

"I guess. Don't worry. Hikari..." he turned back to me. "I'm sorry... not just for what Kasumi did, I'm sorry for what I did to you too... I didn't mean to scold you that day and I can't even properly apologise to you after that. "

 

"it's okay..." i smiled to him and that instance I felt more relieved that what i felt in the past week. 

 

"So... truce?"

 

I nodded. 

 

"And one more thing, Hikari... actually I... heard everything you and Kasumi said at the pub,...I..."

 

"I understand..., we're good friends ne. Let's get started on the cooking. Tell me how I can help, chef.." jittery is one thing, but disappointment with myself is another. I don't know why my feelings are the way it is, but i don't feel good at all, cause I know I'm pretending to be alright when I'm far from it. I've officially fallen for Yamada Ryosuke. 

 

***

 

Ryosuke POV

 

There's so much about her I cannot understand. If she's not okay, she should just say so. She did stop crying but I feel she was hurting and it's completely reasonable since she got a nasty slap from Kasumi. This time, I had no slightest motivation that I am going to side Kasumi, instead I had a whole lot of intention to pull Hikari to my side. It was a weird thought and I was glad Daiki did what I strangely intended to. Maybe it's just a guy instinct of doing that bit for a defenceless girl. But more so, the thing about Hikari that had bothering me so long, just intensified. I was very sure by now she is hiding something. When Kasumi gave Hikari a slap, I was certain I saw 2 guys along the street, who looked like they would charge at us. What sent chills down my spine was that one of them was definitely one of those who saved me at the warehouse that day. Why would he be here too? Besides me, the constant between the time at the warehouse and now, was Hikari. How is he related to her? Or rather how are those Royal guards related to Hikari? 

 

"Yeah! We are done," my back is aching by the long hours of preparation. Concealing my thoughts, I wanted to cheer us on, but strangely, instead of hearing her upbeat cheerful voice, there was only silence from her.