Terms and conditions

 

If anyone had walked into my room, they would have thought they had walked into a relentless staring contest with my phone.

 

The night after me and Y/N “meant” in the piano room, I hadn't seen her the whole day, although I did see her on weekly Idol. And there was one thing, one burning question that was bugging me the whole day.

 

Did she really understand what I was asking from her?

 

Granted, I barely understood what I was asking. I said it in the spur of the moment.

 

You need it you say? I suppose that what we have in common.

 

I thought real hard, thinking that maybe what I said could be misinterpreted in any other way.

 

That's how I feel about you.

Do you understand?

 

I told her I need her!

 

Since when have I become the guy that can't control the that come out of my mouth.

With how sensitive the situation and how our “Arrangement” is, I can't afford any miscommunication. And yet....

 

Yoongi- “I can’t ing texted her.”

 

Jin- “Text who?”

 

I quickly jumped at my phone as soon as he came through the door. Cause, of course he would come in at such a convenient moment.

 

Yoongi- “Nothing!”

 

Jin was taken back by my high pitch volume and bizarre behavior.

Jin- “Are you sure?”

 

Yoongi- “Positive.”

I sprung up from the small desk we shared and scurried into my bed.

 

Jin- “ok? Well I was going to bed, Is it ok if I turn out the light.”

 

Yoongi- “Yeah go for it, I think I’m going to do the same.”

 

With phone at hand I burrowed myself under the covers. Lowering the screen light down, hoping he wouldn't notice.  I still felt Jin’s eyes a couple second after. Probably wondering about my uncharacteristic behavior but not too long after I could hear him also go under his covers.

 

Jin- “Not sure what you're doing under there yoongi, but please, no strange noises.”

 

I felt my ears turn red but didn't deny whatever his conclusion was. Strange as it may seem, it better that than what it really was.

 

As I did before and what I feel became a new bad habit, I typed out a text in the message box and hovered my thumb over the send button.

 

Yoongi (text)- Hey

 

It's a greeting, I haven't said anything stupid yet so why the hesitation. And even when I was ready to press it, I took a deep breath like I was preparing to dive into cold water

 

Send

 

Instant regret

Negative thoughts flooded my head.

 

What if she thinks I’m becoming a stalker?

Why did I use    a close ended greeting?

What if she is sleeping?

Or worst, what if she ignores me?

 

Why wouldn't she, I basically forced her to sleep with me...twice. And the second time was basically a threat. Damn, what wrong with me.

 

Oh! She message back.

 

And with that my thoughts silence, only to return to the stress of not knowing to say.

 

Y/N (text)-Hey, You’re up late

 

Well at least her text seem friendly enough.

 

Yoongi (text)- Yeah, I want to talk to you.

Send

 

Damn....Again I regret sending that text. Something tells me whatever I would have said was going to cause this anxiety in me.

 

Y/N (text)- figured, you did text me.

 

....cheeky, aren't you.

 

Yoongi (text)- I didn't wake you up did I?

 

Y/N (Text)- not at all. What did you want to talk about?

 

Right to the point huh?

It exactly what I wanted to do but beating around the bush calm my nerves a little. Sensitive topics need to be handle carefully.

 

Yoongi (text)- About yesterday, I’m sorry

I typed it out but I knew that's not what I wanted to say. So I quickly revised.

 

Yoongi (text)- About yesterday, I’m not sure if I conveyed what I wanted to say properly to you.

 

Y/N (text)- You mean you're not in love with me?

 

That text caused a lump to form in my throat, I’m not sure why.

 

Yoongi (Text)- God, please don't say that.

 

But my text made it hurt worst.

 

Y/N (text)- I’m kidding silly. I think I understood what you were asking, you wanted to prolong our arrangement right?

 

Some sort of tension was release as I read the text. Although I never thought Y/N as dumb, she does seem to rather oblivious, so I was pretty impress she understood something I barely understood.

 

Yoongi (Text)- You never gave me an answer

 

Y/N (text)- You never gave me a chance

 

I did feel a tinge of guilt, but a five second flashback of that night made me feel something a little bit stronger.

No, no, Jin said no.

 

Yoongi (Text)- Yeah I apologize about that, I did act a little hastily.

 

Y/N (Text)- And I didn't stop you, so I suppose you have your answer.

 

Was she mocking me?

Do I really have room to complain though. I can't really backlash when she trying to say yes to me. Don't want to risk her changing her mind.

 

Y/N (text)- But I have conditions

 

She text real quick after her last. Which was good because I was debating whether or not to respond with “yeah we can secret buddies” with a smiley emoji

 

Yoongi (text)- as do I, you go first.

 

Y/N (Text)- Ok obviously there's the basic; don't tell anyone about this or the drugs.

 

Yoongi (text)- obviously

 

Y/N- Ok, also don't treat me any differently than your normally do in front of our members.

 

Kind of hard to do since everytime I see you I think of Y/N but I’ll try

 

Yoongi (Text)- That's it?

 

Y/N (text)- No, Just in the studio room, nowhere else. And you think someone suspects something between us, we need to stop.

 

Yoongi (text)- Ok, deal.

Y/N (text)- Your turn

 

Yoongi (text)- I have just one. Once we sleep with someone else, we have to break it off.

 

I said this with Hoseok in mind.

 

He said he had no intention on pursuing her, But if he did and she was ok with it, I know I have to let them be.

 

Y/N (text)- Of course

 

Somehow I didn't like these rules we made up. Perhaps it's just because I didn't want to feel restricted.

 

Y/N (Text)- Is there anything else, You’d like to ask me

 

Yoongi (Text)- Yeah about last night. The thing. Have you ever done that before?

 

I knew when I sent it that maybe I rather not know or maybe it was offensive to ask, but still I felt it was a fair question.

 

Y/N (text)- I only slept with one other guy in America and it was with a so you don't have to worry. In that aspect, you were my first.

 

Y/N (Text)- but we don't have to do it again if you don't approve

 

Yoongi (text) No, No just curious, I trust you.

 

And I very much approve.