Chapter 2

Villain

 

This idea of mine, is absolutely stupid. And yet, here I was, waiting inside the main studio room waiting for Y/N.

 

It's such a bad idea. So why am I going to go through with it? Do I need relief that badly?

Won’t this make me a bad person?

 

I pulled out the small baggy to gave it a look. The aroma was strong for such a small thing. At first I thought the smell is sickening. But spending two days with the stupid thing, I got use to the smell. Not enough to say I liked it though.

 

If she was using, does it that make her a terrible bad person?

 

Its clearly not the same thing to what I was about to do, and it's silly of me to even try to justify it.

 

And right when she knocked on the door I thought:

Here I am about to go through with this.

 

Yoongi- “Come in.”

 

The dread and fear Y/N carried on her as she came in was almost like a scent. She sat across from me in the studios desk but didn't dare look at me. It wasn't like I was all willing to look at her though.

It stood silent like this for a couple of minutes before I slid the bag towards her.  She lifted her eyes to look at it, and like I thought, she wasn't surprised at all. She knew I had it.

Finally her eyes, which were uncharastically melancholy made contacted with my cold glares.

 

Y/N- “Since we are meeting here and not PD Bangs office, I’m assuming you haven't told anyone.”

 

Yoongi- “I want to know why.”

 

Y/N averted her eyes.

Y/N- “Does it matter?”

 

Yoongi- “It does, at least to me it does.”

 

She said nothing. Which irked me the wrong way.

Yoongi- “I haven't told anyone, but if you don't give me answers there's no reason for me to keep it a secret.”

 

Y/N looked distressed but she still said nothing.

 

Yoongi- “Are you using it?”

Using a harsh tone to show her how serious I was.

 

She nodded.

Yoongi- “Tell me why. Are you addicted or something?”

 

She shook her head.

Yoongi- “Then tell me why. Why would you risk everything for this?!”

This time I was yelling. Hoping this would break her.

 

It was another quiet moment that started to make me go mad. I got up from my chair and slammed both palms on the table.

 

Yoongi- “Do you understand the situation you put me in?! I chose you out of hundreds who audition! I’m putting my name as a producer out there. You just debuted! If you we kick out, there's no chance for the group. Your action will affect everyone! Do you not care?!

 

Y/N eyes, now weld up in tears looked at me. It stop me cold. I was expecting her to cry, Of course she would, I just yelled at her. But it still hurt to see. Her voice though, it was cold and unwavering. No sobbing or whimpering when she spoke.

 

Y/N- “When I auditioned one of the main points you brought up that got me into BigHit was my confidence on stage.”

 

A response wasn't necessary. We both remember that day well. I did decided to sit back on my seat to hear her out though.

 

Y/N- “Truth is, I have major anxiety. So much so that I tend to have a distorted view of myself.”

She then turned her attention on the small bag on the table.

 

Y/N- “That is the only reason why I am able to perform on stage. Without it, I....well you might as well kick me out.”

 

I sat back on my seat, brushing my hair back with my palm.

Yoongi- “And this is your first line of medication. No one is going to see this and think you're doing this for your anxiety.”

 

Y/N- “I am well aware of how people in this country view this drug.”

 

An another moment of silence came.

I place my elbows on the table and rested my chin on my laced .

 

Yoongi- “I have no intentions on telling PD Bang or anyone about this Y/N.”

Y/N’s head lifted up with wide eyes, astonished by my words.

 

Yoongi- “Like I said, I really don't want all I’ve done to be for nothing. So, I have no choice but to try to be open minded about the situation.”

 

Y/N flashed a smile too quick for me to see clearly and bowed.

Y/N- “Thank you so much.”

 

I said nothing, which must have put Y/N on guard because she was no longer smiling when she sat down in her seat.

 

Yoongi- “ They say that an idol is molded to be for their fans. This makes our lives to be very restricting.”

 

It was a very ‘out of body’ experience I felt knowing what I was about to do was wrong, wanting to protest it, but still going through with it.

 

Yoongi- “Our fan make or break us. But there are things we want or even need to do but can’t in fear of how our fan will react.”

 

Y/N looked very confused but stayed there silently and listened.

I took a deep breath, and tried to gulped down this anxiety that I was feeling. I tried to stay calm but my words that I’ve still haven't said was starting to make me self conscious. I moved my chin out of my folded hand and place my forehead there instead to hide my face.

 

Yoongi- “I’m telling you this because there is something I need to ask of you. a favor.”

 

Without moving my face, I tried to look up past my hooded eyes to make out Y/N’s face.

Although I couldn't really she her reaction, it seem her sweet and loud high pitch voice was cheerful in her response.

 

Y/N- “Of course, Anything!”

 

Well.... here I go. I shut my eyes and took a good chunk of my lip before letting out the words.

 

Yoongi- “Can you sleep with me?”

 

My blood could not pulse through my veins fast enough. My face started to throb. I didn't want to imagine what my face looked like. Again, Not wanting to show my face, I peer through my lids to see Y/N’s dropped down jaw and widen eyes. Suddenly she made a grin and giggled.

 

Y/n- “I think I misunderstood you.”

 

I pulled away from the table and sat back in my chair, directly facing her so she can identify with her own eyes how serious I really was.

Yoongi- “You didn't.”

 

Her grin demised and it went silent.

 

Y/N- “Are you blackmailing me?”

 

She finally said cutting me with her words. I know the answer, but I won't admit to it. I refuse to look like the bad guy here....

Even if I am.

 

Yoongi- “No, I’m merely asking you for a favor that will allow us to be in the same footing.”

 

She narrowed her eyes.

 

Yoongi- “And I won't tell anyone your secret whether or not you go through with it. This is more reassurance for yourself. If anyone found out two member in BigHit was involved intimately the scandal would be just as big as your drug scandal would be. So if you were to have doubts that I would tell anyone you have something on me to hold on to.”

 

My argument is so pathetic. This is wrong. I wish I could take it back. Her eyes slowly dropped to the desk. I wasn't too sure if it was out of sadness or she was thinking. I trying to keep my face stern to not show how small I was feeling. Maybe I can retract everything I said. Claim it was a joke or something. I can't actually go through with this.

 

Y/N- “ Just one time?” she said at almost a whisper

Yoongi- “Just one time.”

 

No.

 

Y/N- “no one will know.”

Yoongi- “No one can know.”

 

Stop

 

Y/N- “Ok.”

 

I gulped embarrassingly loud in shock.

 

I guess I am going through with this.

 

And it made me sick to think despite my mental protest, how happy I was at the moment.

 

Yoongi- “Are you sure?”

Y/N nodded but still wouldn't look at me.

 

Y/N- “Its like you said, we’re helping each other out, keeping each other secrets.”

 

Now the guilt was starting to settle.

Y/N- “when do you wanna-”

Yoongi- “I’ll text you.” My excitement cut her off

Y/N- “at a hotel?”

Yoongi- “no, I have a place.”

 

Y/N nodded and finally looked at me directly. She got up and bowed to me.

 

Y/N- “I shall be expecting your text.”