Bin kept it all inside. Even kept himself from asking the questions he had been dying to ask Eunwoo since the night he arrived. Well, it was not like he had the time to ask him anyways. As soon as the holidays were over, Eunwoo was dragged from photoshoots, to mc-ing gigs, to vocal recordings, to tv guestings and left with barely enough energy to stand on his own two feet when he makes it into their practice room to learn the new choreography. Whatever was going on between them, or not, Bin decided that he wasn't going to add to his band mate's mounting burdens.

Band mate.

It was odd thinking about Eunwoo as just his band mate again. No longer a boyfriend or lover. Just someone in the same team. And Bin could remember exactly when he'd made the decision to shift his way of thinking. 

That night after having their first dinner back in the dorms (without Sanha since he came back the morning after) Eunwoo made a request that basically told him of the extent their relationship had depreciated during their separation. It came as such a complete shock that Bin gawked at the other male, unable to form a reply for a few seconds. They had stood facing each other in front of their beds, Eunwoo fiddling with the cuff of his sweatshirt while Bin waited for him to say something.

When he did though, it wasn't what he was expecting.

"Binnie, if you don't mind. Could you sleep back in your bunk from now on?"

"Wait. What?" Bin managed to say, blinking rapidly in disbelief. 

"It's just that I'm tired and I'm full of schedules and I -"

Eunwoo was saying something else, blurting out reasons why they couldn't be in bed togther, but Bin wasn't hearing anything else being said above the sound of cracks causing deep fissures in his heart. The entire time they'd been away from each other, all that he wanted was to see Eunwoo again. And now that they were together, the other male wanted nothing to do with him; even refusing Bin what comfort he could get from holding him in his sleep.

He could have protested; whined, complained and argued until he got his way. Then again a small part of him blamed that demanding, assertive side for how things have turned out. Perhaps if he had been more compliant, more understanding. Perhaps if he'd backed off more, wanted less, things would be different. 

He wasn't sure how he managed it, but Bin nodded his head mechanically. No further questions asked. No fuss. Just a mumbled,"okay." He averted his eyes as they began to mist over. What's left of the tendons holding his heart together broke when he quickly glimpsed Eunwoo's shoulders sag in obvious relief, watching as he placed his foot on the first rung of the ladder. 

The top bunk felt foreign and unwelcoming to him as soon a he laid his head on his pillow, having spent months sleeping within Eunwoo's embrace. He shuffled around until he was facing the wall, hastily wiping at the tears that were already falling steadily down his cheeks. He didn't remember falling asleep but he did remember not acknowledging Eunwoo when he called out his usual good night.

And since that day Bin kept a respectable distance, if not physically then at least emotionally. He and Eunwoo still shared a room, after all. They were still required to stand beside each other in the center of the group at events, smiling animatedly. They still talked amicably when they were in front of their other members or the staff. They still made an effort to make things seem normal from the surface, that is. But when they were alone, that's when Bin felt his loneliness the most. He missed Eunwoo - the friend. He seemed to have lost that part of their relationship as well, awkwardness blossoming between them where it had been non-existent before.

If the others were curious about the tension between the two of them; often raising up an eyebrow or two in question about what's going on; they wer