“Taek. Can you hand me that box beside you.” Taekwoon held the said huge brown box beside him, his hands getting a little clammy from sweat. The box was unexpectedly heavy, he almost fell when he lifted it but Wonshik was quick to catch him from behind. ”Woah! Be careful Taek. Sorry. It’s kinda heavy.” Wonshik said with worry, Taekwoon’s back still firmly pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around the silent man. “I’m okay Wonshik. I can do it.” The other protested with a heavy blush coloring  his pale white cheeks. “Let’s take a break for a while. Okay?” The blonde man said as he gently ruffled his best friend’s hair, grabbing the huge brown box away from him. “What do you want to eat?” He added while still busy reorganizing the boxes on the side to give them some space to rest on, failing to notice the sad gaze the other had. Taekwoon couldn’t do anything but stare. His mind still confused on how things turned out like nothing happened the night before. He should be happy right? He should be glad that there little incident on the beach last night didn’t make them awkward. He should be okay that Wonshik is still acting the same as before. It should be fine right? But why does he have this bitter taste in his mouth? Why is his heart constricting a little every time the blonde man smiles at him just the same? But that’s supposed to be a good thing right? He asked himself. But it wasn’t really a question, he was trying to convince himself on and on that this how it was supposed to be. But then why? Why does it hurt? Why? He clenched his fist right above his chest, as if holding onto his heart begging for it to stop breaking.  “What are you doing there spacing out? Come on sit.” His mind was easily taken out of its daze upon hearing the blonde man. He saw Wonshik, patting the space beside him, calling out to him. “Hey. Let’s go to bed first. Let’s sleep on my bed for now since yours is still messy.” Just like that he followed without a single doubt in his mind, allowing Wonshik to pull him up to his room. He couldn’t resist, couldn’t even voice out a single word of protest; as if the blonde man’s words were absolute, like a clear loud order caging him. He knew too well that he should walk out now while he still had the chance but he was too much of an idiot, his emotions were eating him alive.

They lay on the soft bed, side by side. Taekwoon turned to his left, staring at the wall while Wonshik couldn’t help but lay his eyes on Taekwoon’s back, the other’s pale flawless neck on display tempted him in every possible way. “Aish! I can’t take this.” Wonshik internally protested; His mind at war in trying to suppress his desire. The blonde man wrapped his arms around his best friend’s waist, making Taekwoon jolt from the sudden contact. “What are you doing Wonshik?” Taekwoon asked nervously but didn’t have the strength to push the man away. “Hmmmm… Just 5 minutes Taek. Let me rest okay.” Wonshik nuzzled his head on Taekwoon’s back, inhaling the sweet and earthy scent of lavender. Taekwoon stiffened, his hands clenched into fists. They stayed glued together for a few minutes, both males failed to notice that they had fallen asleep.

Taekwoon steered awake upon hearing Wonshik’s phone ringing. He tried getting up but the blonde man was still pressed against him, strong muscular arms tied him down to the bed. “Hey. Wonshik. Your phone is ringing. Hey. Wonshik. Get up.” Taekwoon protested and shook his body a little to wake up the blonde man. “Don’t want to. Let’s sleep more Taek.” Wonshik whined, instead of getting up he buried his face more on Taekwoon’s back. “Your phone is ringing Wonshik. Go answer it. Come on.”  The blond finally let go and grabbed the ringing device on his bed side table. “!” He cursed loudly upon seeing the caller ID. He immediately answered and soon an angry yell from a woman can be heard from his phone. He got up from his bed and walked outside the room, far away from Taekwoon hoping that the other wouldn’t hear their conversation. “I’m really sorry Mia. We were too busy moving our things to the new apartment. I’m sorry I forgot. Sorry Mia.” He apologized over and over. He stood in silence for a while when Taekwoon walked out the door. “Okay. I’ll be there in 30 minutes.” He finally answered the woman on the other side of the line after hearing her agitated voice once again. After the call ended, he immediately went to the bathroom to take a shower, avoiding eye contact with Taekwoon. He felt guilty for leaving and didn’t had the right words to explain himself, after all he promised Taekwoon that they would spend the whole day together arranging their stuff to the new apartment they now owned. 10 minutes later Wonshik went out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, his tan chocolate abs on display. “Sorry Taek. I have to go to Mia. Let’s have dinner together okay? Wait for me. I’m really sorry.” Taekwoon simply nodded and answered “That’s okay Wonshik. Enjoy your date!” He said it with a smile on his face, but the bitter taste on his mouth just got worse. And after 10 minutes more, Wonshik was already out the door promising yet again to spend dinner with the pale man. Taekwoon didn’t say anything, he simply nodded his head. Stop making promises Wonshik. He said to himself as he waved goodbye to the blonde.

Taekwoon slumped on the couch, sitting silently, head raised, leaning his back on the couch for support. He wanted to scream and shout but seeing the loitered boxes on the floor and remembering the boxes still left outside their apartment he decided he had better things to do. He pulled himself up and started arranging their things. After 3 hours he was almost done when he remembered... “. I forgot the boxes outside.” He grunted loudly, tiredness evident on his aching shoulders. When he got out he saw two huge boxes by the door. “.” He cursed again. He wanted to finish cleaning already. So he took the two boxes all at once, piling the boxes together so he could carry them in one go. But the task seemed too difficult for the tired man and to make matters worse the door closed when he was about to go in. “For goodness sake!” He yelled out in frustration. He wanted to drop the boxes right then and there when he heard a light chuckle beside him. “Need some help new neighbor?” He peeked to the side but the boxes were obstructing his line of vision. He was surprised when the said stranger lifted up one of the boxes. “WOAH! It’s you! Soft voice! Soft voice! Remember me?!” The brown haired stranger said in excitement, his eyes glittering, dimples deep and smile so wide. Taekwoon tilted his head a little, taking in the features of the said man and mapping it out in his memories to when and where he had met the brunette but nothing came to mind. “Oh come on. It’s me! It’s me!” The other repeated with the same bright mocha eyes. “Model! The model!” Taekwoon voiced out finally remembering the man he bumped into the first time he got to the apartment. “Model?” The brunette chuckled. “Thank you for the compliment.” Taekwoon blushed a bright red, realizing too late that he had blurted out his thoughts without thinking. “Well. I thought you were a model the first time I bumped into you.” Taekwoon said in hushed tones, trying hard to hide his face with the box he was still carrying. “Well then. Thank you! Let me help you out.” The brunette smiled at him once again, his eyes never leaving Taekwoon. Taekwoon thought about it for a while. He shouldn’t let a stranger come in but he had no choice but to ask for help and he knew self-defense anyway just in case the other had an ulterior motive. “Thank you. Uhm… I just need to get these boxes inside.” He said shyly. The brunette just smiled in return and opened up the door for Taekwoon.

When they got inside, both men laid the boxes on the living room floor. “Thank you for your help.” Taekwoon bowed gratefully to the brunette. He was about to ask for the stranger’s name but the said man interrupted him quickly. “Let me help you tidy up. I have nothing better to do anyway.” The brunette said with slight chuckle. “It’s okay. I can manage.” “I insist. You have no one to help you. I volunteer as tribute!” The brunette joked, displaying a playful hunger game salute. Taekwoon couldn’t help but laugh at the other man’s antics. He decided that maybe it was okay since the man seemed kind and he really needed a hand too if he wanted their apartment nice and livable by the end of the day. And just like that, the two males started cleaning the apartment in silence. “What? It’s already dark outside. Sorry! I kept you for too long.” Taekwoon apologized when he noticed the night sky outside his window. “It’s okay. There! Now you can live like a prince in here!” The brunette exclaimed excitedly as he placed the last item from the box on the cabinet. “Let me make you some dinner as thanks.” Taekwoon said shyly. “Yay! Free dinner!” The other rejoiced. As Taekwoon was busy preparing for their meal at the kitchen, the brunette kept his gaze on Taekwoon’s back, both elbow rested on the kitchen table while his hands supported his chin to stop his head from falling. “My name’s Hongbin by the way.” The brunette said out of the blue. Taekwoon suddenly jolted and immediately turned around to face the other man. “Hi Hongbin. Sorry I forgot to ask for your name.” Taekwoon said shyly. “That’s okay babe.” Hongbin chuckled. Taekwoon was surprised by the sudden nickname and out of habit he sent an intense glare hoping it was enough warning to push the other man away before he punches him right in the face. Hongbin’s eyes widened but not from fear nor intimidation. The intense glare made his heart flutter for some reason. “You have really pretty eyes!” The brunette commented. “Wha… Whatt?!” Taekwoon stuttered, surprised from the other’s reaction. “I said your eyes are really pretty. They are like a cat’s eye but more slanted and more intense.” Hongbin added making Taekwoon blush. The confused man couldn’t even say anything back. His glare never failed him before, every man or woman who had seen his glare immediately ran away from him in fear. But this guy was different. “This man is really strange.” He thought to himself. “Uhm… I…” he started but was again immediately interrupted by the strange man. “Hey. Can I borrow your phone for a while? I couldn’t find my phone in my bag.” Hongbin said with pleading eyes. “Sure.” Taekwoon pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to the brunette. Hongbin dialed his number on Taekwoon’s phone with a huge smile on his face then carefully placed it on his ear. After a few seconds, they heard a phone ringing. “Oops. So my phone was in my pocket all along. Hehehe.” The brunette said with a sly smirk. Taekwoon’s eyes widened even more. “Hey! You said you couldn’t find it.” He protested. “Ooohh.. But I got it now. Haha. And your number too. 10 points for Hongbin!” Hongbin chuckled. Taekwoon just stood there stunned. “This guy is an idiot!” He thought to himself once again. The brunette gave the phone back to Taekwoon and started typing on his phone. “So what’s your name babe?” Hongbin asked making Taekwoon glare again from frustration and irritation. “You know, your glare won’t stop me from saving your number. Hmm.. I can save your number as “Babe” if you won’t give me your name. I don’t have a problem with that. Hahaha.” The brunette teased. “My name is Taekwoon. And don’t call me babe okay?” Taekwoon said in between gritted teeth sending another death glare at the man. Hongbin ignored the glare and started typing the name happily on his phone. Once done, he returned his gaze to the latter who was now standing in front of him. “Sorry for teasing you Taekwoon. I won’t call you that again.  But you have to admit that was pretty smooth. My friend actually thought me that move. I have to thank Jaehwan later.” Taekwoon just sighed in defeat. “You should tell your friend that was a stupid move. Weirdo.”  

“Ouch! Taekwoon used nasty comment. It’s super effective!”  Hongbin replied, referencing a line from a pokemon battle while playfully clenching his fist above his chest pretending to be in pain. “My man pride was crushed in a split second. It hurts. It hurts! A critical hit!” He added. Taekwoon couldn’t help but laugh. This man was strange and rude, but he was actually funny and entertaining he thought. “Hahaha! You finally laughed. Foe Hongbin restored health! Hahaha” Hongbin commented again in between laughs. “Stop referencing pokemon lines already. I get it. I get it.” Taekwoon said, but couldn’t contain his laughs as well. After a minute, their laughs finally died down. Taekwoon wiped away some tears that formed under his eyes from laughing too much. The brunette stared at him with a smile from ear to ear. “So… Uhm.. Friends?” Hongbin asked and reached his hand for Taekwoon to shake hands. Taekwoon immediately accepted. “Just don’t call me babe again. Okay?” He said. “Okay sweetheart.” The other teased again. “Hongbin!” Taekwoon reprimanded but there was no bite in his tone, he knew the brunette was just fooling around again. “Okay okay. I was just joking. Nice to meet you Taekwoon. I live at the other end of this floor. Room 408.” Soon after, both males started telling stories of each other, talking about random things at times like they were old friends.

“Hmmm.. Do you have a roommate Taekwoon?” Hongbin asked. Taekwoon was about to answer when the door suddenly opened. Taekwoon immediately walked towards the entry way to greet the blonde, Hongbin tailing him from behind. “Taek. Sorry I’m late. I hope you don’t mind ordering…” Wonshik stopped for a while when he noticed another man behind his best friend. “Oh. This is Hongbin. He lives at the same floor. Hongbin this is Wonshik.” Taekwoon introduced both males to each other. “Nice to meet you Wonshik! So you’re the roommate huh?” Hongbin said with a smile. Wonshik suddenly became irritated with the man he just met. “I’m not just a roommate. I’m his best friend.” The blonde man said, his voice almost sounding like a growl. Taekwoon looked at Wonshik in disbelief. Wonshik was acting rude. He wanted to scold his best friend but Hongbin was quick to retaliate. “Oh. Sorry. Hello there Mr. best friend. Okaeri! ” ^{(A/N: Okaeri means welcome home. A common phrase heard in Japanese anime)} The brunette replied in a chuckle, making the awkward air a little lighter. Taekwoon giggled from hearing the other’s reply. This anime idiot is seriously asking to be punched. He thought as he sighed in relief that Hongbin didn’t take offense on his best friend’s rude behavior.  But Wonshik was having none of it. He was too tired, too frustrated and too annoyed from this brunette. Sensing the gloomy vibe, Hongbin decided to leave. “Oh I better go now. Nice to meet you again Wonshik. See you later Taekwoon” He smiled. Wonshik just bowed his head slightly to acknowledge the brunette. “But you haven’t had dinner yet Hongbin.” Taekwoon whined. “That’s okay. I’ll come by some other time. I’ll text you and you better reply okay?” The brunette replied with a smile and waved goodbye to the two best friends. Hearing that made Wonshik even more annoyed. As soon as Hongbin walked out the apartment, he immediately closed the door. Without a single word, the blonde walked towards the kitchen. Taekwoon followed silently from behind.  

When they got to the kitchen, Taekwoon prepared their dinner. He served the meal he cooked into their plates and placed them into the dining table. Taekwoon sat at the opposite side from the now silent blonde. They ate silently for a while. The awkward silence was beginning to weigh Taekwoon down so he decided to lighten up the mood. “Wonshik…” He started but it seemed that his best friend was not in the mood to chat. “Taekwoon. You shouldn’t be too careless around strangers.” Wonshik said in a monotone voice, but anger was noticeable in his tone. “Sorry. I needed some help to carry the boxes inside and Hongbin happened to pass by. And he offered to help.” Taekwoon tried explaining. “I told you we’d do it together didn’t I? You should have waited for me.” The blonde man said, raising his voice.

“But…”

“And you even made him dinner! I told you we’ll have dinner together! I told you to wait!”

“Wonshik.. I just…”

“And you even gave him your number! Are you an idiot?! What if he was a bad guy huh? What would you do then?! Damn it Taekwoon!”

“But Wonshik…”

“No more buts Taekwoon! Block him from your phone! Erase his number now!” Wonshik abruptly stood up and slammed both his hands on the table.

Taekwoon stood up in anger as well. “You’re being ridiculous Wonshik. You promised we’d spend the day together to fix the apartment. But where were you? You left me here alone! You promised to have dinner with me but you came home past dinner time! What do you want me to do Wonshik?! What do you expect me to do?!”

“I expect you to wait for me! I expect you to welcome me home when I get back and not flirt with a damn stranger you just met at the hallway!” Wonshik raised his voice even more, harsh words spilling from his mouth, unable to control the anger boiling up inside of him.

“You’re unbelievable! You’re the idiot Wonshik! off!” Taekwoon slammed his hands on the table and immediately walked away.  Slamming his bedroom door close; leaving the fuming blonde on the kitchen area.

“!” Wonshik screamed as he punched the wall near him. He didn’t care if it bled or bruised. He felt guilty for hurting Taekwoon. It was the first intense fight they had. It was the first time he yelled out harsh words towards the other man. He was just too angry; too hurt seeing Taekwoon close with another man.

He was jealous that a man other than him got to spend time with Taekwoon; it was supposed to be their day. It was supposed to be theirs. He was jealous that another man made Taekwoon giggle, made Taekwoon smile and laugh. It was supposed to be him making Taekwoon happy. He was mad that another guy got to see Taekwoon’s smile up close. It was supposed to be his.

More than that, he was mad at himself for acting like a complete idiot. He didn’t own Taekwoon and neither did he have the right to get mad. That was the painful truth. He knew it too well. Knows it by heart but seeing Taekwoon inside the apartment with another man shook him down to his core, as if seeing a glimpse from a scene he feared the most. He can’t let someone steal Taekwoon away from him. He musn’t. He wouldn’t.

But above the things he feared, the most painful would be seeing his best friend hurt because of him. After finally calming himself down, Wonshik walked towards Taekwoon’s room. He softly knocked on the door. “I’m sorry Taek. Please come out. I’m sorry. Please. Please Taekwoon let’s talk. I’m sorry.” He begged, incessantly sending pleads for the other man to come out. He waited for a few minutes to get a response but none followed. He slumped by the door, resting his back on the wooden frame. “I was an idiot Taek. I’m sorry for saying those harsh words. I’m sorry. Please. Please open the door.” He said in a quivering voice, tears falling down his eyes. His now bleeding knuckles stung, an ugly shade of blue and purple started forming around the sore spot. “Taek. Sorry. Please. Please let me in.” He said in between sobs, unable to control his shaking body.

After a minute, he heard the lock clicking, the knob slowly turning to open up. He quickly stood up and waited anxiously for the man. Once Taekwoon stepped outside, he quickly wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Taekwoon’s shoulder; his embrace getting tighter and tighter as if afraid the other would disappear. “I’m sorry Taek. I was an idiot. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”  Taekwoon wrapped his arms around the blonde to calm him. “Yeah. You were an idiot Wonshik. Stop crying like a baby. It’s okay now. It’s okay” Taekwoon’s soft voiced soothed him, enveloping him once again in warmth. Wonshik raised his head to meet the black haired man eye to eye. “Now. Let’s get your wound cleaned up.” Taekwoon said with a smile and gently pushed the other away from his embrace. Wonshik immediately grabbed Taekwoon’s hand and laced their fingers together, molding them into one. Taekwoon was surprised by the sudden action but didn’t pull away. He wanted to prove to Wonshik that he wasn’t angry anymore so instead he just smiled and pulled the blonde man.

That night, as they lay on their own beds, Taekwoon wondered how things turned out like this, so painful and chaotic. He kept his eyes tightly shut, the steady rhythm of the pitter and patter of rain on the background did nothing to calm himself. He remembered how much he loved the rain, the one thing that brought him together with Wonshik. But now he cursed at it, the sudden downpour mocking him. It felt cold, the sound drowning him farther and farther. He was tired, too tired from this relationship he didn’t even know how it was called, it was all push and pull. This emotional rollercoaster he had been on for years. “I can’t do this anymore” He whispered to himself, tears falling down from his now red puffy eyes.