After an hour of hearing his friends insisting on their conspiracy theories regarding his standards in picking his girlfriends, Wonshik finally had enough and decided to walk away. He stood up and waved goodbye to Hakyeon and Hyuk. “Hyung. Where are you going?” Hyuk asked, acting innocent and sly at the same time. “Oh I know! I know!” Hakyeon replied, waving his hand in the air as if raising his hand in class. “Oh. Can you enlighten us Hakyeon hyung?” Hyuk said with a smug look on his face while smirking at Wonshik. “He’s going to see his beloved..” Hakyeon was about to tease some more but Wonshik walked away. Both males just stared at each other and started giggling. “They’re just making it complicated.” The youngest sighed. “Yeah. But it really is complicated. Society can be so unforgiving. Too many people are cruel.” Hakyeon sighed as well, sadly looking at Wonshik’s back as he disappear from the cafeteria.   

Wonshik was walking towards Taekwoon’s classroom when he saw his best friend talking to a girl outside the said room. The girl had a petite build, long brown hair brushing her shoulders, her head hanged low while handing out  a piece of paper to his best friend. He saw Taekwoon looking at her with a sad expression after accepting the letter. After a few minutes, the girl started running away, tears clearly visible from her eyes. “Another unfortunate confession eh” Wonshik said to himself as he started walking forward again, hands clenched inside his pockets. He saw Taekwoon now leaning his back on a wall, his head raised high, eyes shut tightly in anger and frustration.  “Hey. Class is over already?” Wonshik asked and leaned on the same wall beside his best friend. Taekwoon slightly opened his left eye to acknowledge his best friend. “Yeah.” He replied with a sigh and shut his eyes again in frustration. “Another confession huh? It’s the fourth time this month.”  Wonshik said nonchalantly raising his head, copying his best friend’s pose. Taekwoon remained silent. He straightened himself up and gently brushed of the dust on his shoulders. “Why…” Wonshik started, head still raised, nervously biting his lower lip as if carefully contemplating on the next words to say. “Why do you keep on rejecting them?” Taekwoon stiffened for a moment. “I don’t know.” He simply answered and shrugged his shoulders dejectedly. Wonshik stood up straight and placed his arm over the other man’s shoulder. “Hahaha. Okay okay. Let’s go Mr. Popular. We have an appointment.” He chuckled lightly but he felt a pang of guilt and sadness jabbing through him. Taekwoon turned his head to look at Wonshik. He had a confused look on his face. “I finally found a two bedroom apartment near the university. I already made an appointment to meet the owner. “ Wonshik answered, urging his best friend to start walking. Taekwoon just nodded. They walked a few minutes toward the empty lot where Wonshik had parked his car. He opened the door for Taekwoon and started driving after they finally got in.

The best friends decided to go to the same university; with Wonshik majoring in music while Taekwoon decided to take on photography. Both males passed their entrance exams with flying colors; they were two of the smartest students in school after all. They never really talked about staying at the same apartment when they get to college but one day Wonshik suddenly insisted they should. Taekwoon, with hesitation, agreed on the condition that they will have their own rooms. Wonshik was a little disappointed, but nonetheless agreed. He surfed the net to find a two bedroom apartment near the university belt. It was difficult to find one since almost all the apartments available were studio apartments. He got lucky when he found an advertisement posted on facebook. It was only a few minutes’ walk away from the university, coffee shops and book stores were all lined up on the street near the unit. He decided that Taekwoon would love the place so he immediately called the number and booked an appointment.

After half an hour, they finally arrived at their destination. Wonshik parked his car on the street in front of a small building. Once Taekwoon stepped outside, the faint aroma of bitter coffee filled his senses. He immediately smiled upon seeing rows and rows of coffee shops and books stores lined up on the street. Wonshik chuckled when he saw the huge smile on his best friend’s face. “Come on Taek. It’s on the fourth floor of this building.“ He said and pulled the grinning man. They were greeted by an old lady when they got inside. The old petite lady, Stella, showed them the way to the vacant unit. The building looked new, the tiled floor was spotless, almost like a mirror.  In the middle was an elevator. They got inside when the door opened; the smell of lavender filled the empty space. “I’m sure you’re going to love it. We had it painted just a few weeks ago. Uhm… Two young men looking for a place together… Are you two friends?” Stella asked with a sheepish smile. Taekwoon immediately recognized the hint of judgment from the old woman’s tone of voice. He clenched his fists and was about to talk back in a hostile manner when Wonshik cut him off. “Yes! We’re best friends! We will be attending the same university after graduation. Is it okay if I bring my girlfriend here for a visit?” Wonshik answered immediately and nervously glanced at Taekwoon. The other man smiled in return, but deep inside he was in deep pain, the sudden realization of seeing Wonshik bringing home a girl dawned upon him. “Oh! You have a girlfriend! That’s okay. You can bring visitors here. This is a good neighborhood. Perfect for couples who loves spending time at the coffee shops nearby.” Stella commented with a huge smile. Taekwoon directed his attention to the blaring red numbers on the elevator, trying hard not to punch anything inside. He felt Wonshik moving closer to his side. Wonshik secretly moved his hand near Taekwoon’s and laced their pinky fingers together. Taekwoon’s shoulder suddenly tense. He looked at Wonshik confusedly, it was his best friend’s normal gesture when he was trying to calm him down. But this time it felt different to Taekwoon. It felt like Wonshik was silently apologizing for something he said.

“Oh! We’re here.” Stella chirped in, the bell ringing signaling that they finally arrived at the 4^th floor. Wonshik gently let go of Taekwoon, not even daring to look at the other. Taekwoon, with still a confused expression, followed the old woman and his best friend down the spacious hall. They finally stopped when they reached near the corner. He looked up at the brown door, room 405, the sign read. Stella swiped the key card on the door lock, the clicking sound woke Taekwoon up from his thoughts. “I’m sure you’re going to love this room! Please feel free to take a look around. I’ll be back later. I just have to meet a few clients down stairs.”  The old woman said before opening the door and waving goodbye. Taekwoon and Wonshik took cautious steps forward. The black haired male stood in awe, eyes wide, taking in the beautiful space before him. He slowly wandered around. The walls were creamy white with small abstract paintings hanging. There were small green potted plants by the counter on the kitchen isle. A huge TV, a huge black elegant couch and a small round coffee table at the living room. There were two bedrooms in total, one room on each side. One for him, and one for Wonshik. The bathroom was across the rooms, a shower and tub available for use. It was simply amazing, it was almost as big as his house. Taekwoon thought. “Look here Taek! You can hang your photographs here! And I can buy you a book shelf and we can place your books here on the corner.“ Wonshik excitedly exclaimed. He kept wandering like a small kid, already planning on his mind the things he wanted to put inside the apartment. “And look at our room! The bed is big enough for both of us! We can just sleep together and convert the other room as our work area! Right?!” Wonshik added, grabbing Taekwoon by the hand and leading him to the said room. “uhm… but if your girlfriend is coming over, we can’t share a room Wonshik.” Taekwoon stated, hands still not pulling away. “Oh you’re right. I’m sorry. I forgot. Haha. We’ll have our own rooms then.“ Wonshik awkwardly released Taekwoon’s hand.  “But we haven’t decided yet if we’re going to take this. I think it’s too expensive for me Wonshik.” Taekwoon said disappointingly and slumped down to the soft fluffy bed. Wonshik followed and laid beside him. “You worry too much. I’ll pay for it. You can just pay me back by being my housewife.” Wonshik chuckled while imagining waking up to the sight of his best friend wearing an apron preparing their breakfast. Taekwoon playfully hit Wonshik’s shoulder, a deep red blush adorning his cheekbones. ”Hahahahaha. Stop hitting me. I’m just joking. Hahahahaha.. So cute my Taekwoonie.” The blonde man added, trying hard to defend himself from the continues slaps he was receiving.

Their laugh and giggles abruptly stopped when they heard the front door open. Wonshik immediately got up and pulled Taekwoon with him. “We’re going to take it. That’s final.” Taekwoon quietly nodded. “I’ll pay for half of the rent. I can get a part time job.” He replied. The blonde man knew how stubborn his best friend is so he decided to agree. “But don’t force yourself.  Okay?” The blonde man playfully ruffled Taekwoon’s hair before they left the room.

“We’re going to take it Stella.” Wonshik announced when he saw the old lady waiting on the black couch. “That’s great! You can start signing the papers downstairs.” Stella excitedly stood up and gave a bright smile at Wonshik and Taekwoon.

On their way to the elevator, Stella and Wonshik walked side by side discussing their contract. Taekwoon was walking behind them in a much slower pace. He couldn’t help but feel anxious with the sudden development. His thoughts were all over the place. “Ouch. Sorry. Sorry.” He suddenly exclaimed when he bumped into someone. He looked forward and saw a man crouched down gathering his books on the ground. Taekwoon immediately offered a hand to help the other man. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. So...” He was about to apologize again when he finally met eye to eye with the stranger. “Woah! For a very tall man you have a very soft voice.” The stranger butted in with a surprised expression. Taekwoon had heard the same comment about his voice so he wasn’t bothered with the other’s comment. “Uhm. Thank you and sorry again.” He said and apologetically bowed a few times. “It’s okay. Be careful next time.” The stranger said with a smile. Taekwoon bowed one last time and immediately ran towards Wonshik when he heard the other calling out his name.

After signing the contract, Wonshik and Taekwoon went to the nearby park. They silently sat on a park bench, watching children running around. “Are you happy Taek?” Wonshik asked, breaking the silence. Taekwoon looked at Wonshik, his eyes piercing and expressive. Taekwoon nodded with a huge smile on his face. Wonshik stared in awe. So beautiful my Taekwoon-ah. He thought to himself as he watched Taekwoon’s midnight black hair slowly dancing with the cold mid-autumn air, the raging amber leaves falling on the background. “If you’re happy then I’m happy too. Let’s be friends forever.” Wonshik said, but a pang of bitterness stabbed him. The guilt of wanting more than friendship from Taekwoon, the pain of knowing that it can never be possible and can never be accepted, and the fear of losing the one person he treasured the most… it was eating him alive.

I’ll tie you down with friendship. The blonde man thought to himself.

Like how the summer green leaves turns into a passionate angry red during the autumn, I will let my feelings crumble down to the ground and it will soon be buried underneath a thick blanket of snow. I won’t let anyone see through me. I won’t let anyone see my heart. But I promise. I will never let you go  Taekwoon. Even if it gets suffocating, crazy or twisted, I will never let you leave me. You are mine alone.