As so often Ejeong’s voice was booming through the entire practice room as SM vocal coach Kim Howon was trying to teach the trainees harmonies. Next to fellow trainees Jaehee, Seulgi and Eunsoo, her voice was roaring so loudly like it was nobody’s business, the others were barely to be heard.

“No,no,no!“, Howon interrupted her rashly, looking as if he was about to pull chunks of his hair any moment. “How often do I need to tell you, Ejeong?! You have to tone down your own voice to harmonize with the others.“

Ejeong just rolled her eyes. She knew how to harmonize with others. She knew that she had to tone down to fit with them. She just simply didn’t want to. After 14 years of training she knew exactly where she was standing with her skills, that she’d totally be able to compete against even SM vocal goddess Kim Taeyeon and heck, she’d totally do just to prove to anyone else how she was able to beat the out of anyone at SM that was trying to take the spotlight away from her. She deserved it. So. ing. Much. So, yes, she was out-singing the other trainees on purpose.

“I’m not surprised SM never put you into any line-up again after you got kicked out of the SNSD one. Look at how you can’t even listen to the most simple instructions.“, Jaehee commented with so much snark that Ejeong looked at her baffled, her fake eyelashes she only put on to not look too shabby next to Eunsoo, who constantly grabbed the vocal coaches attention, almost falling off.

“Says the one that didn’t even get into any line-up at all because of mediocre vocal skills!“, she barked back like an angry dog.

While those two started yelling at each other, the vocal coach seriously having problems getting them to stop again, Seulgi couldn’t help but giggle in the background while Eunsoo crossed her arms, raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes before she left out a long, exhausted sigh.

This was how most of their practice sessions looked like. With trainees that were basically just waiting to either drop out of the business or finally make it onto the stage, the tension was super thick. The string of patience unfortunately not so much. 

And like that another vocal session passed, nobody really learning something new. Oh, what a surprise.

As soon as Howon dismissed the girls, Jaehee rushed out, her phone already pressed against her ear as she was putting on her Chopard sunglasses, her Chanel blouse lightly waving around her body. Ejeong knew exactly where the girl got all the fancy stuff from. Being the mistress of one of the shareholders came with certain advantages. To Ejeong it all looked just plainly cheap, nevertheless. Seulgi also was gone pretty quickly after Jaehee, only Ejeong and Eunsoo remaining. Ejeong had wanted to talk to Howon, to ask him about the rumors about Honey Crush that were currently circulating again. If anyone knew about it, then him. Maybe that was even the reason why Eunsoo stuck with the vocal coach the entire time. To be frank, Ejeong just couldn’t see what Eunsoo was seeing in the coach otherwise.

Honey Crush was the myth that was haunting all of the female trainees ever since the project was announced first. The trainees for the project were all abandoned, though. Or so at least they all thought it was. None of those who had been promised the chance to finally debut with the group ever got any close to a line-up. And why that? Because SNSD hadn’t been able to keep their together, kicked Jessica out and to cover up the mess SM had come up with the freaking idea to debut some of their SM Rookies. Ejeong felt sick just thinking about Red Velvet becoming the preferred choice over night when just little ago it had been the Honey Crush considered trainees that had reigned over the SM trainee empire. Maybe this all was the punishment they got for being too arrogant, being so sure to debut that now they had to watch all the kids that signed under SM a lot later than them reaching the spot on top way ahead.

“Howon, I have a-“, Ejeong already was about to ask when the door to the room opened and the person that Ejeong couldn’t stand most from all around SM entered.

Kim Junggyu.

Freaking. Kim. Jung. Gyu. The reason why Honey Crush never debuted until now. The very person that saved SM’s fat when SNSD was trending because of Jessica leaving the group. The very person that suggested to pop out Red Velvet instead of Honey Crush. That certain Kim Junggyu deserved all the hatred Ejeong could come up with. Wait, wait, wait. There was another person that deserved it even more. Ah well…

“Ahhh~ Eunsoo. Nice to meet you again!“ How could he sound so sweet whenever he was just looking at the girl? His voice suddenly sounded as if he had bathed it in hot caramel when usually he most of the time was so full of snark, so full of… ugh, let’s just call it , that he sounded more like a stinking, old barf bag… was it obvious that Ejeong didn’t like Junggyu? No? Should she go ahead?

Eunsoo smiled brightly as she bowed to Junggyu, Howon pretty much doing the same as her, only Ejeong frowning and quietly mumbling little insults that remained unheard by the others.

“What brings you here?“, Howon asked and Junggyu turned around as if he was looking for someone. In fact he stopped as his eyes met Ejeong who was still eyeing him with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow. Yes, Mister Douchebag?

“Actually I wanted to talk to Jaehee but Ejeong over here will do, too.“

Two things Ejeong hated. Being the replacement for ing Jaehee and then talking to Junggyu at all. Blegh.

“Well then, we will leave you two alone.“, Howon said and motioned Eunsoo to leave the room with him. Junggyu’s eyes followed the girl instantly. Too obvious if you asked Ejeong. Waaaaaay to obvious.

“You know that you look like a e creep?“, Ejeong asked the guy once the two others closed the door behind them.

Junggyu replied with a frown first. He looked at Ejeong with that certain something he always had for those he couldn’t stand a lot. Arrogance. And his usual self looking down on others. It made the woman angry facing that expression of him. “You should check the definition for ‘ia‘ again before getting offensive with stuff you don’t have any idea about-“

“- oh common, you know exactly what I am talking about! Don’t act as if you know so much, Junggyu! You know I’m not having any of your ! You think you’re so much better than any of us after helping out SM that one time?! I knew you even before that and you were just lousy tr-“

Junggyu remained unimpressed by Ejeong’s rambling and just fell into her words as she did with his. “If you want to make it through once you debut.“

Ejeong was silenced in the blink of an eye and just stared at Junggyu with a dropped open mouth.

“Honey Crush is going to debut this year and selections for the line-up will take place until the end of January, so you should better prepare for this month’s evaluation, so you’re going to make it into the group.“, he explained.

The female gulped heavily. Was this really happening? Did Kim Junggyu just give her some tips for becoming a part of the line-up? “Wait…“, she stopped him and eyed him skeptically. “Why would you tell me all of this?“ There were multiple things running through her head all of a sudden. Debuting sounded great but also there was Junggyu wanting to talk to Jaehee first as well. So he wanted to give her tips, too?

“I want the line-up to be somewhat usable. After all I am going to be the one managing Honey Crush and I already have certain member line-ups in my mind. Unfortunately I am not the one to make the final decision, so all I can do is giving you some advice to make it through the selections.“

Ejeong nodded slightly, her mind still occupied with various thoughts, questions, images running through it. “Okay. What’s your advice for me then?“, she wanted to know.

“Loose weight.“

Ugh. And back they were to the point where Ejeong really detested Junggyu. How could he be so blunt?!

“Says who?!“, Ejeong immediately barked back at him.

“I do.“, the future manager replied without batting an eye.

“Ah, says the person that looks like a human toad.“ Call it stupidity or bravery, at this point Ejeong really didn’t care about what Junggyu would think about her. After all he didn’t have a lot to say when it came to the member selection, so what for being nice to him before the line-up was even revealed? Ejeong would stick to being honest and yes, she didn’t think that Junggyu was very attractive. He had those big eyes, weird eyebrows and also the shape of his face didn’t look all that great with his wide chin.

“Big words for someone with a sloth face.“, Junggyu gave back and Ejeong immediately rose to even more anger. Sloth? Did she look like a sloth to him?!

“ you, Junggyu!“, she spat the words at him, but all he did was grin.

“Yeah… I love you too, honey. Just don’t forget to loose those extra pounds.“

The practice room was busy as always with the bunch of female trainees occupying it during the short break they always got to get themselves some dinner. Anri didn't feel like eating, however. It had been a long time now that she had lost her appetite completely. Trainee life was making her sick so much. She didn’t want to complain. Oh well, she did. To be honest, being a foreigner in the Korean entertainment industry . It so much. Yet, Anri was still sitting there after working her off. But for what? Just to be even more discriminated by SM?

"Making the typical Anri face?" Hayoon gave the Japanese girl a little smile before she sat down next to her and handed her a can of soda. She didn't ask anything further, nevertheless. Anri was already used to Hayoon trying to be the voice of reason, it had always been like that since she got to know the female. Hayoon had that ambiguity of being somewhat caring, maybe even like a mother that was looking after her kids, but at the same time Anri couldn't remember just one single time where Hayoon really got active in giving advice. It was like she was watching over her little ducklings but without intervening with anything they did. 

"Would you rather have me look like Ejeong?" Hayoon started chuckling and gently ruffled through Anri's hair which wasn't much to her pleasing but she didn't complain. Anri sighed and her eyes wandered over to a bunch of other trainees that were cackling about something while eating.

"Have you heard of the Honey Crush rumors?", Anri asked the other woman and watched how the other trainees were playfully getting up from the ground while acting like childish fools, chasing each other for their lunch boxes’ content. 

"You mean the reason why Ejeong is suddenly eating all the stuff she doesn't like? Her mood drops are killing everyone, hahaha." Hayoon leaned back a little, also watching the other girls playing around. "But I can't blame her for trying to loose weight. I am also working my off. If it's true, I want to be part of that line-up."

"Who do you think will get into the line-up?", Anri asked and Hayoon shortly made a thoughtful face.

"I'm not sure. I guess Woori is in for sure if they don't debut her as a solo - artist. She's by far one of the most promising and why would SM keep her training with the rest of us if they wanted her to stick to acting.", Hayoon finally answered. "Then I am pretty sure they will pick Jaehee." She didn't even go further into detail, yet Anri knew exactly why Hayoon was expecting said trainee to be added to the line-up. It was that open secret that a bunch of them knew about. Well, rather a rumor. But that was enough for the trainees to judge. Humans were so simple-minded at times... "Then me of course." Hayoon laughed about her own words. "I'm not even kidding, among the rappers I'd be disappointed if I'm not added... there's Haeyi, but who says that there only needs to be one rapper?"

"That's it?", Anri asked, a little disappointed that she wasn't mentioned as well. 

“Junji, maybe."

"Junji?" Her eyebrows instantly went up. That Junji that currently was chasing after another trainee to steel a bit of her omelet? "Are you sure? Junji constantly s up the evaluations... and she's... you know..."

Hayoon shrugged it off. "I guess the reason she's always bad when it comes to evaluations is fear. Maybe she's scared of the evaluations. Stage fright is a thing that even... out-going people like Junji might suffer from. But the coaches and also the trainees can tell that she's not bad. Junji is good at what she does. She's maybe even the strongest dancer here whereas everyone is constantly fighting over if Haeyi is better than her or not. It's a question of style. And since Junji is a lot more comfortable to work with than Haeyi, she's the safer ride."

"As long as she's not completely wasted and useless.", Anri reminded her. 

"As long as she's not completely wasted and useless.", Hayoon agreed.

Anri thought a little more about it, tilting her head to the side. Yes, the line-up invitations were already out. Nobody was allowed to speak about it, so nobody knew who they would compete against in the process of being chosen. The Japanese girl was wondering if Hayoon also got the invitation letter, if she was just acting to not know about all this... just like Anri. Yet, even with the letter lying safely in her drawer in the dormitory... nobody could promise her that she would really debut. And even though hope was torturing her, Anri couldn't feel anything good about the whole ordeal. She had hoped too often. Just to be disappointed over and over again. It was better to not expect anything. Because with no expectations, no disappointment was following. 

But why was Anri feeling the disappointment already lurking around her?

From the moment that Junggyu showed up and asked Hayoon to join him during an important meeting, she knew that things didn’t look great for her. 

The long, oval table in the main conference room of the SM trainee center was completely empty when Junggyu led Hayoon inside and truth be told, she wasn't all that sure what his intentions were for a slight moment until the door opened again and no other than Haeyi entered.

Great. Just great. Hayoon already sensed what this was about. Putting the two strongest rapping trainees together when there were the line-up selections for Honey Crush going on meant one thing: that one of them would be in and one would kiss her dreams goodbye. This meeting was set up to decide who it would be. 

"Wow. Great." Haeyi rolled her eyes as soon as she noticed Hayoon sitting at the table and very roughly pulled back one chair for her own before she let herself fall on it, cross both, her arms and her legs and start radiating all the disapproval she had treasured up until now. Her whole body language was radiating her hostility. Hayoon couldn't blame her, after all this was about their future and what they had worked for for almost all their lives. 

Junggyu stood in between the girls, the few seats left abandoned between them looking like the sea that isolated one shore from another and the SM staff didn't give a single damn about the girls hateful auras flooding the room like the Flood.

"And what are we waiting for?", Haeyi asked impatiently and flicked her tongue as her eyes were piercing through Hayoon.

"For us." 

The guy entering, accompanied by two other guys that the girls knew because they were coaches that participated in the weekly evaluation process every now and then as judges, was no other than the SM CEO's junior executive. He moved right to the very seat in the middle of the two parties, the two coaches taking seat right next to him. Hayoon knew the guy. Everyone did. Everyone knew that he would be the one to inherit the company once the CEO would retire, therefore he would be extra cautious about who he'd allow to be a part of the upcoming girlgroup. After all the decision who’d be the head of SM would be made of how successful the groups turned out to be that were made. And he would compete against the one who made the NCT line-ups. “You two might have a feeling about what we'll be talking about today."

Neither Hayoon nor Haeyi answered to that. The women just looked at him with attentive eyes, even Haeyi being a lot calmer than usually. 

"You two are rappers, each of you ranking highest in the weekly evaluations - always.", the junior executive started and folded his hands. "However, there is only one spot free for a rapper."

"Then it's me or her.", Haeyi finally opened and the hostility was right back. "But then what makes the decision so hard?"

Ouch. As always Haeyi made it so clear that she was above the others. How could they have considered Hayoon as competition to the almighty Haeyi? Hayoon kept a very straight face, not letting Haeyi's words get to her. If Haeyi decided to be the sea, angrily trying to wash her opponent away, Hayoon would be a solid rock, unwilling to move. 

"Both of you have pros and cons.", the junior executive answered and went through the few documents he brought with him. "Your overall evaluations were top notch, Haeyi. However... some coaches are worried about... your temper."

Haeyi snorted shortly and let herself sink a little into her seat. With her arms still crossed, her eyes were fiercely focusing on Hayoon and for some reason she pursed her lips, their corners forming a very dangerous grin. Yes. Haeyi was on it. She was planning something. Hayoon could clearly see through it. Hayoon saw a lot of things. A lot of things that the others should have seen, too. 

"I've never been aggressive to coaches or staffs in any way and I never gave any reason to worry about how I will present myself in public.", Haeyi assured the executive but he still didn't look convinced. Instead of reacting himself, he looked over to Junggyu who had to tell them more about why they were sitting together, discussing about something that was a decision to be made by the company and not the trainees. 

"That is true but Hayoon seems to be the safer choice for us. The only con we have for her is that she ranked 2nd and not 1st. We currently have big difficulties in who to pick as the rapper of the group, so this will be the official announcement for you that the final decision will be made in 10 days from now. You have the chance to prove to us why we should pick you after going through our records of you and that will be it then. Do you have any questions before we start?"

Hayoon had nothing to add to this. Haeyi looked differently. "Maybe we should let Hayoon share her thoughts on the matter. She didn't speak at all until now. I am almost worried... she turned mute."

How.Dare.She.

Hayoon had her difficulties to keep her cool. Wow. Just... wow. How on earth could she have considered Haeyi to have enough respect and humanity left for others? Oh right… it might have been a little too much of Hayoon believing that maybe there was a glimpse of kindness in Haeyi. Or at least some sensitivity when it came to making references to a topic like that… a topic that was able to make Hayoon boil in an instant. This was all provocation. Haeyi wanted to get Hayoon mad and loose it. But no, not now. Not like that. Hayoon would keep her cool and slowly but gently declare Haeyi as dead to her in her mind. If she endured just long enough, she’d not have to bear with that woman ever again. She just had to endure. Just for a little more.

“Let’s not assume such things.“, Hayoon replied very calm and with a smile on her lips, she tried to keep up with all she had. She would have loved to lecture Haeyi about what kind of bull she was pulling right now but now was not the right time and the people around weren’t ones to listen to what she had to say. So she kept her quiet, smiled and left Haeyi with nothing more than a simple warning. “But I’d be cautious about what to say in your position.“

Haeyi snorted. She really couldn’t stand that Hayoon was talking back to her and in fact Hayoon wouldn’t even have bothered to pick a fight with this b… okay, let’s not get angry over here… ANYWAY. This was not a common situation and there was a lot more on the line than just the non-existent relationship they shared. This was about each of the girls’ futures. And it was war between them. Again Hayoon reminded herself to just sit it out for a little more.

A little more felt like ages, nonetheless. For the following two hours in which the coaches and the executive were going through the records with them Hayoon was confronted with multiple subtle hints and references that hurt. Oh, they hurt. Haeyi was way too good with words, being infamous for how she managed to use her eloquence to destroy everything around without people noticing until it was too late. Like that she was plucking on the 2nd ranking rapper’s nerves until freedom was so close - and Hayoon close to explode. She usually wasn’t one to blow up like a bomb. Like never. But with the right topic addressed, with the right spot hit…

The moment Haeyi and Hayoon were allowed to leave, Hayoon was glad that she’d be able to get out of the toxic atmosphere, to somewhat vent her anger in the comfortability of her own room and then go back living in a world where she was able to believe in the good of each and everyone. If there just wasn’t Haeyi to poke her over and over again.

“For a second I thought you’d be a great opponent. For a second. But you kept it boring. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed.“, she mentioned, causing Hayoon to stop right when she was about to finally leave.

“For a second?“, Hayoon asked. And how she regretted asking. She should have just let her be, walk away and that was it. But Hayoon answered. Worst mistake of her life.

“Yeah… seems like you’re a chip off the old block. Some things seem to be even low-key genetically inherited.“

That was the moment when Hayoon went nuke and the Fat Man hit her very personal Nagasaki. Right in front of the eyes of the executive junior, Junggyu and the two coaches.

As mentioned. The worst mistake of her life.

"ONE MORE!"

The group of SM artists was partying like crazy with the two trainees Woori and Junji dancing on the table, Junji being drunk enough to kick some of the more than expensive bottles off the table while Woori was holding onto her, laughing like crazy about it. The two trainees had every reason to celebrate. After all SM had decided to add both of them to the final line-up.

For some people it was more than obvious that a girl like Woori would make it. Gorgeous, already famous thanks to her successful acting career, and overly talented, gifted not only with looks but also with a beautiful voice and outstanding skills. Junji in contrast to her was of a different kind. Junji was that person who tried, who had some skills but was never given the chance to really outshine others as she was stuck in the lower ranks of the SM trainee-dom thanks to her stage fright. Additionally to that she wasn’t what SM would have considered an SM face. Mixed ethnicity, a face that even with plastic surgery wasn’t able to compete against Woori’s beauty… she had been lucky that the two main rappers had been kicked out of the line-up competition after a certain that even Heechul didn’t know the details about occurred and the spot for the rapper was free again.

“TEQUILA SHOWA FO EVVY-ONE!“

Heechul was the first to get up and try to get Junji off the table while on the other side SHINee’s nightingale Jonghyun tried to do the same with Woori.  "That's enough party for today.", the oldest among them said very determined and had to fight a rebelling Junji the very next moment.

"Wh...at shoo tal'in 'bout... se pa-ty jusht shtarded!", the trainee complained and tried to get herself out of Heechul's grip, her long, black hair entangling with Heechul's jacket. 

"WE CAN GO ALL NIGHT!", Woori hooted excitedly and kicked another row of glasses off the table by throwing her arms and legs up. "Jonghyun, honey! Bring me some honey! Bring some Jong to the party! We need some good stuff here! Good, I say, good!“

Jonghyun chuckled but with Junji's demanding yells following, Heechul couldn't share any of the amusement. 

"GOOD IN THE HOOD! ME TOO, ME TOO!"

"Okay, that's enough for now. Time-out for you.“ The Super Junior member grabbed the girl a little stronger and tried to drag her out of the VVIP room that the idols were occupying. 

"NO TIME OUT! HOW DARE YOU?! I AM SHIN JUNJI, THE RAMYUN QUEEN. SHIN. RAMYUN. JUNJI." For a second her screaming sounded angry, if not aggressive, but it blended into multiple of Junji's laughter about the Ramyun reference and her happily rambling “Shin…Ramyun…you get it?“. 

"Yeah, you're the Shin Queen and I am North Korea s supreme leader....", Heechul answered and rolled his eyes. At least he managed to move the girl with him and walk out of the door. 

"Hey, Jong-Un~ ever thought of having an idol mistress?" Junji giggled happily as Heechul was closing the door, Woori 's voice yet booming through the room. 

"YOU'RE THE BOMB, JONG-UN. THE BOMB!"

Outside of the room the VIP area had a few people walking around, throwing curious glances over to Heechul and Junji as the girl was instantly throwing herself against the balustrade that isolated the VIP area on the 2nd floor from the common dance floor down on the 1st floor. However, SNSD Hyoyeon standing downstairs on the main floor's DJ stage at least prevented more curious eyes wandering up to the VIP area. Usually Heechul hated partying with Hyoyeon. That woman had some serious anger issues going on, especially when she was drunk. But right now, heck, praise tha alcohol and this scandalous woman!

“This way, Junji…“, Heechul tried to coax her gently and patiently into following him, yet the girl was a lot more unwillingly moving than expected.

“Where…?“, she managed to speak a single word. Luckily Heechul was an expert in deciphering drunk people. Junji looked up at Heechul, while clinging onto him fiercely to not slip and land on the ground. Her legs were shaky and the heavy alcohol breath coming from her made it even hard for Heechul to breathe properly.

“The car.“

Junji halted like a mulish bull. She suddenly let out a very whiny sound and threw both her arms around Heechul’s neck.

“HEEHEE!… NO!“, she whined with a heavy slur in her voice. “YOU…DRANK!… CAN…NAWT…DRAIWE! YOU WILL HAWT YOU…SELF!“ Heechul suddenly was able to understand how this drunk chick was able to hook up with so many guys that he knew and that he knew weren’t ones to just hook up with any girl because she was easy and drunk. Not that there weren’t friends like that, there were plenty… but one or two he would have never expected to get with her had told him some things that until this point he hadn’t been quite able to understand. But now he could relate at least a little. She was incredibly cute when she was drunk. A little disgusting. But also cute. She was super wasted, looked up at him with sleepy eyes but at the same time her worries seemed to be genuine. This was cute.

“I’m not driving, I’m calling a substitute driver to get you back home.“, he informed her and the worries made place for anger and frustration.

“NUUUU!“

“Yes, you-“- “NAAAAAAAW!!!!“

“Young lady, stop this now!“ Heechul’s patience slowly reached its end and her rebelling like a little child didn’t help at all. Why did she make him look like the ultimate party-pooper?! The daddy substitute?! The very person that had to take care of her?! Why couldn’t she just take care of herself?! Or why couldn’t Heechul just live on and leave her be?! Because he knew how the unfair treatment from SM was affecting her and how they were treating her because of who she was. No surprise that she ended up scared to perform in front of the SM staffs. “Cut it now! You know you’ll be in a super bad shape tomorrow! That’s not acceptable, you know that from now on you have to show up at the company and present yourself the best you can!“

“But I’m already in the groooooup! Just like Wooriiiiii!“, Junji went on whining.

“Yes! But you’re not Woori! Woori already achieved things in her life that help her enough to stand on her own! What did you achieve so far?“, Heechul barked.

“I’m in the group!“, Junji repeated herself and suddenly seemed a lot less intoxicated. She pushed herself out of Heechul’s arms and stumbled backwards, getting some distance between them to glare intensely at him. “I managed to get into the final line-up! Fite me!“

Heechul rolled his eyes again. Of course she said something like that. How could he have expected differently? Was he an idiot? No, usually not. But there they were, Junji being head over heels about being chosen as one of the official Honey Crush members without further ado. She didn’t know better. Heechul did, though. And he was so close to popping the bubble. It was his reputation on the line after all. He suggested her for the line-up. After hearing that another SM artist was using his influence to pull strings for another trainee, Heechul for the first time had been willing to do alike. He fought for her to be in. And she was getting super wasted instead of using every opportunity to prove that she deserved it. Because she didn’t know better.

Before Heechul was able to say something, a bunch of other idols showed up at the club. Familiar faces.

“Oh wow, SM squad in the house tonight?!“, Zico blurted out and Junji moved around, alarmed by the rapper’s voice. She was instantly back to her party animal nature, running straight to the guy and his companions.

Heechul sighed. Some people just had to learn it the hard way.