-Channie?

His voice sounded sweet and caring, I wish I could hear his voice always… but he’s gotta leave….

-Chan? are you alright?

I know he’s gotta leave, his soul needs rest… I  saw how he is right now and he’s always so lonely and sad… but is it too egoist of me ? that I want him by my side?

-Chan!- I felt his hand in my face, but this time it was more dense… It felt like something, like ...water?

-I’m sorry…- I didn’t realized that I was standing there, crying and not moving at all… but he was touching me and I felt it…

-are you alright? you scared me! - he looked normal again... but I sure wasn’t, I was a mess...he hugged me and apologized many many times in a soft and worried voice. It was nothing but a whisper but it reached my ears and made me snap out of my state. I was being terribly egoist and he deserved more. He deserved to know the truth… but not tonight, I’ll tell him tomorrow.

-I’m sorry, I can’t be much help. - he just smiled at me, he’s so cute.

-but you are, I was worried that that hit had done something to you… Is your head fine?

-yeah, I’m just going back to bed now… no more memories for me?

-no,I think your head can’t handle more hits tonight..- his eyes found mine and we stood there, just looking each other into the eyes… and I couldn’t handle it anymore

-I...I lied to you…-he looked perplexed - I … have known for a time now but …

-what do you mean? - his arms now kept us separated

-I know why my past self stopped writing to you… and why he didn’t return…

His eyes wide open searched into mine, he seemed to be about to eat me alive…

-I died before you…

-you what?!

-I died… a few months after I arrived to the university…

the air was winter cold around him. He was mad…

-why didn’t you tell me…

he was so mad… he let my shoulders go and messed with his hair…

-I was afraid...and I was being selfish…

-yeah,that explains everything…

-I’m sorry… I wanted… I just…

-You just what? wanted  to see me worry more for your whereabouts than mine?

-I just wanted to have you by my side a bit longer… I didn’t want you to leave...me.

this was the truth, I was scared. And I loved him. It just didn’t turn as easy as I expected to say my reasons… I couldn’t say it outloud and everything went on wrong.

He just laughed and looked at me… not angrily but disappointed.

-You promised me that you would help me… and you lied to me about a piece of information that was vital for me! I… don’t … I can’t be here right now…- he floated out of the window, leaving all the sweet words behind in a cold as ice room.

I knew he was going to be mad at me… but he left. He just left.

It’s been weeks since I last saw him. I tried apologizing again, but nothing came out of the locket. I feel so lonely, with him around I had someone to talk to, someone to care for.

I wrote every single thing that I found in a notepad hoping that he would come at night and see that I had kept my promise… but there were no signs of him. I missed him.

What will I do when he really leaves?

What will I do?

How will I live without him?

Could I be strong enough to carry on?

So many doubts, so many feelings…

I’m scared.

Junho, come back…

And with these thoughts in mind, I spent one more night of many apart of him.

****************************************************

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to thank you for waiting this long for a chapter. I'm really sorry but we are now just 2 chapters away from the end of the fic so don't give up on me!

I really can't thank you enough for reading my story. I have almost ready the last 2 chapters so just wait a little bit <3 I know this chapter is not long and it might not be as interesting as others were but it is important for the story (believe me, I know how this continues) and I plan on making the last two chapters a bit longer than 1 and a half word page. So wish me luck and keep on reading <3

Yours

Alice