My eyes flutter open grudgingly when I feel something wet repeatedly tickling my chin. Only once I open my eyes completely taking in my surroundings, do I notice two familiar black round eyes, being way too close.

"Bobo?" I straighten my head and my eyes widen, remembering the shoulder. I look to my left and gasp loud enough to make Jungkook wake up.

His eyes are disoriented for a second but then they settle on me. "Oh, you're awake."

"Yes." Gently, I push Bobo's head away and speak before thinking. "So, it was you."

"Hm?" Jungkook's eyes are still sleepy not fully registering my words. "Oh, you were aware."

"A little." I pull my lower lip in. "I must seem like such a hypocrite. Even though I told you to stay away, here I am accepting your shoulder."

"I'm used to it." I almost glare at him. "But it's ok, you can borrow my shoulder from time to time."

Not able to keep it back, I turn my head away with a smile but end up sneezing. "Excuse me."

Jungkook puts his hand on my forehead. "It doesn't seem like you have a fever, must be a simple cold then."

I nod my head waiting for him to take away his hand. "It happens."

"Is that why you look so exhausted." The frown between his brows makes him look cute.

"Yes." It's one of the reasons but definitely not the one that played the biggest part in my poor state.

"Why don't you go home and take an early sleep." Bobo climbs to him, leaving my hands with nothing to do. "You will recover quicker."
The thought of being alone now, especially because my father might turn up at my apartment, is scary.
Jungkook could probably see it on my face. He puts his hand on the back of my neck. "You don't want to be alone?"

His voice gentle, so caring, so warming, makes a lump form in my throat. How come even after everything he's still able to show so much concern for me? How come someone with such a beautiful heart is in my life? Or was.
If I stay next to him any longer I can feel it, I will burst into the tears that I had been holding in after the encounter with my father. Jungkook's gaze is so accepting, so considerate, filled with so much patience.

Looking at anything but him I push to my feet. "I'll be right back." Even with all the effort, I feel the pressure behind my eyes building. Before they can spill, I rush out of the room trying not to run.

I keep walking until I reach the elevator, my destination unclear, but a dozen of people are standing in front of it so without thinking, I change directions and take the stairs.
The lights switch on automatically as I lean against the other door, taking a much needed moment. A tear slips down my cheek just as the door opens again and I know who it is without even looking.

Without a word, Jungkook pulls me into his embrace just like that night after we saw his fans.
Letting the tears flow freely, I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face against his shoulder. It feels so good to take comfort from someone. To let your guard down for just a moment. To not have to appear strong all the time.

A few moments later, I close my eyes when he presses a kiss to the side of my head. "I told you, you can borrow my shoulder any time." I shiver involuntarily at the close proximity of his voice. "It has many uses."

A bubble of giggles fight its way through my tears and I take a deep breath so I don't start sobbing from the aftermath. He smells nice.

"But I'm not wearing any fragrance today." Jungkook pulls away slightly, his eyes scanning my face.

I freeze at his words and blush when I realize that I had spoken aloud. "Oh."

"Ah, so cute." His nose crunches up in a wide grin and it makes my heart feel funny. "Next time, if you need my service should I put on fragrance?"

Getting even more flustered my only resort is to push against his chest as I murmur for him to shut up.

"Shut up? Shut up?" Jungkook chuckles. "Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you say that."

"Ah," I whine and cross my arms.

"Eomma, eomma, so cute." As always his hand moves in to pinch my cheek but then he puts it against my face, tentatively. "Sorry, I'll stop now. Do you feel better?"

"Yes, thank you." My arms drop to my side nervously. "Today isn't a good day for me."

It's a weak excuse we both knew that but he doesn't prod or ask, instead he smiles in a humorous way. "Should I offer hugs as a service, too? They seem to do wonders."

"Shoulder is enough." I respond shyly, dabbing tears away. I must look even more like a mess now. 
Jungkook's thumbs wipe under my eyes, helping me. "It's for free, though."

There is something in the tone he used that makes my heart flutter. My eyes find him already focusing on me, a hint of a smile on his lips. "I'll think about it, thank you in advance."

His smile deepens, a dimple appearing briefly before it vanishes as he looks concerned again. "Are you ok? Can you go back out?"

"Yes." I take a deep breath to shake of the last remnants of my breakdown and move to the door and step out. In comfortable silence we make our way back to the door that leads to the backstage area.

"Jungkook-ah," our heads turn in the direction of the entrance.

It takes me a moment to see the resemblance but it's not a far stretch. Being an idol had naturally changed Jungkook's appearance. His brother on the other hand looks more rugged and not as handsome in a pretty way. They're brothers nonetheless and it shows.

Jungkook touches my arm. I glance up at him but he is looking at his brother.

"Hello." I greet his brother back with a deep bow, feeling timid. "My name is Junghyun, Jungkookie's Hyung."

"Ah, I'm ____ ________, nice to meet you."

Junghyun's eyes flicker to Jungkook briefly before settling on me once more. "You're much more beautiful with your eyes open."

His words make me frown because I have no idea what he is talking about. "Excuse me?"

Before anyone can say a word, another voice calls out Jungkook's name, this time a woman's.
I look behind Junghyun and take a step back subconsciously when I see their mother approaching us. 
I'd really rather be anywhere else right now. Out of nervous habit, I start tugging my hair behind my ear just to release it again.

A hand engulfs mine, I look up startled to see Jungkook watching me. He squeezes my hand and then releases it again, his eyebrows lifting briefly. I'm here.
The tingly feeling expands, my face getting all warm and before he can see I look away.

The three of us wait for their mother to join us but she doesn't seem surprised to see me at all.

"Hello, Ahjumma." Polite but still awkward and even scared, I bow again.

"Hello, ________." Just like the first time, she holds her hand out for me to shake, I rush to accept it. "Are you feeling better?"

"Huh?" Taken aback, I peek at Jungkook but he is looking straight ahead at his brother. "Ah, yes. I'm feeling much better, thank you for your concern."

She nods her head and gives me a pretty smile, her hand still holding mine. "Will I be seeing you on the stage?"

"The stage?" It takes me moment to understand. "Oh, no. I'm not here for that."

"Then why are you here?" At first I'm thrown off by her blunt question but then I catch her looking at Jungkook.

Even though he's not the reason, I still get flustered. "I work here, Ahjumma."

"Ah, that's how it is." I nod and she finally releases my hand after patting it. "Will you be joining us for dinner, then?"

"Eh?" My eyes widen at the invitation and I can't help but glance at Jungkook who has finally finished his business with his brother. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not? I haven't seen you in so long." And that's exactly the reason why.

Jungkook seeing my troubled expression steps in to help me. "Eomma, I told you, ________ isn't feeling well, maybe next time."

Mother and son share a moment of silent conversation. I look away not really wanting to know what they were secretly conversing about.
My eyes wander sideways and meet Junghyun's eyes as he was already looking at me, it's a bit unnerving.

"Are you older than Jungkookie?"

"Uh?" It must seem like I have a hearing issue but their questions were just really making me anxious. "Ah, I'm not."

Junghyun smiles a little hearing that. I don't know why he would though. It makes me feel self-conscious, my hands fiddle with the hem of my sweater nervously. "Dongsaeng?"

"Yes." I nod slowly, biting down on my lip awkwardly. "I'm younger."

"Somehow, you look really young."

Self-consciously, I press the the back of my finger against my cheek. I must look like a teenager with my bare face and sick complexion.

"She's not, Hyung." I blink up at Jungkook, now it's their turn to have a silent conversation.

Ok, I'm too much of a mess to stay here any longer. My emotions are about to go haywire.
"Oppa," my hand reaches for his arm, carefully. "I'm going first."

He searches my face with an unreadable expression. "Are you going home?"

It's uncomfortable to talk having his mother and brother just standing there watching us.
"Yes, I think so." This is really getting awkward. "Fighting." I cheer weakly, not having any fighting spirit myself.

Jungkook nods, his lips purses, dimple appearing again.

Turning away from him, I give my attention to his family and bow again. "It was nice to meet you again, Ahjumma. Best regards to Ahjussi." I turn to his brother. "Have a good night."

"Good bye." He says, his eyes moving to Jungkook for a moment.

I, too, look at Jungkook one last time and then turn on my heels and walk into the backstage area to get my belongings and puppy.
Although, this whole episode was awkward and almost a little bit too much to handle due to today's circumstances, I feel lighter, not as drained as before. I know it's thanks to him. Jungkook.

~ ~ ~

"Take the stupid call, you idiot." The phone continues to connect as I curse at the phone. I was tipsy already.

"Hello?"

"What took you so long, Babo-ya?"

"________?" There is noise on the other side. "It's past midnight what are you doing calling me? Wait, why are you calling me and not Lee?"

I roll my eyes, he's really an idiot. "Lee can't drink and I need someone who can."

"You're drinking?" I hold the phone away from my ear and wince. Why is he so loud? "Where are you?"

I sit up straight, excited. "Are you coming?"

"________, where are you?"

Pouting at Joon's demanding tone, I begin swirling in my chair. "I'm in heaven and you?"

"Home." He says quickly.

"Oh, me too." I giggle loudly. "That's funny." The line is filled with voices. "Hi, Lee!"

"Lee is asleep, ________. I was just talking to myself."

"Are you coming now or what?" I'm getting impatient. "I need a drinking buddy."

"You can't even drink, what good will it do if I come?"

"I don't want to be alone." I mutter but come to my senses momentarily. I'm alone. "Ah, forget it. I'm awake now, sorry for calling. Bye."

I hang up before he can say anything and slump into my arms, tears pricking my eyes. Why is it that lately I always feel so lonely?

* * * * * *

It seems like it has been years since Jungkook walked through these hallways even though it actually only had been a few weeks. He is surprised that the doorman had just let him pass after a short glance.

Arriving in front of her apartment, he knocks first not wanting to startle her as she seemed to be drunk according to Joon.
When there is no response Jungkook tries the door bell a few times but still nothing.
He had really hoped that he wouldn't have to do this but there is no other way, she could be sick or even worse collapsed. By herself and drunk.

Sliding up the cover of the digital lock, Jungkook types in the code that Joon had told him and the door unlocks. Carefully, his ear attentive, he pushes in and closes the door quietly, watching out for any abnormalities.

Jungkook doesn't know what he expected to find but it definitely wasn't to see her lying on the fluffy carpet in the living room, her eyes shut tight. Only after closer inspection does he see the earphones plugged in, which explains why she didn't hear the doorbell. Now that makes it awkward for him, she might be sober and might actually scream at him for entering just like that.

As he ponders what to do now, she begins to murmur something. Jungkook slips his shoes off and walks closer to see the beer bottles on the kitchen island. So, she did drink.
Jungkook moves even closer and sits down keeping a distance so she won't be scared if she wakes up. She was bundled up with a big sweater and sweatpants, a quilt covering her barely. He reaches out to readjust the blanket on top of her.

It takes a while but she starts speaking again, this time it's clearer. "Kookie Bear..."

Kookie Bear? Does she mean...?

Jungkook looks around searching for that poor imitation of what he used to look like and finds it lying underneath the coffee table.
Leaning over her to get to the plush bear, he is suddenly pushed on his back, unprepared by her strength and freezes when she throws one leg over his.

"I told you not to leave me, Kookie." Not daring to move a muscle, Jungkook contemplates his next move. If she were to wake up now with her lying half on top of him, she'd either hit him or call the police. Not good at all.

As always his heart is beating fast but this time it's throbbing painfully in his rip cage and Jungkook is trying real hard not to let his thoughts drift. He is known for having a impenetrable heart but how come whenever he sees her that wall just evaporates.

All of a sudden, the same way it begun, it also ends with her rolling herself away from him, turning her back to him.
Jungkook presses the heel of his hand against his eye and tries to clear his mind. Be a gentleman. Even in your head, be a gentleman.

Once more after draping the quilt back over her, Jungkook tries for the bear and succeeds without her moving. But she isn't calling for it anymore, so he turns it and takes in the bear that he had given to her on her birthday.
After so many years the condition of the plush had visibly taken it's toll. Colors not as vibrant anymore, it looks like the beanie had been resewn on and the white shirt had turned into a dull gray.
This must have been a much loved item to her, just like the compact. Jungkook wonders what else she had kept from their time together.

Putting Kookie Bear aside for now, Jungkook looks around searching for Bobo. After a minute, he spots the Shiba resting inside his bed not even bothered at all by the new presence.

Eyes back on her peaceful face, he sees a cushion not far from her head. Jungkook puts his hand under her neck planning to slide the pillow under her but his plan gets cut short again when she wraps an arm around his shoulder dragging him down onto her.
Losing his balance for only a second, it's enough to make him free fall and almost crash right into her if it hadn't been for the hand already under her head. He had just barely avoided her lips.

Jungkook's heart close to jumping out, the silence makes it sound too loud.

"You're not Kookie Bear." Jungkook freezes. "Kookie Bear doesn't smell so nice."

A smile tugs at his lips. He definitely wasn't wearing any fragrance now as Joon had woken him from his sleep. What could she be smelling that's so 'nice'?

Apart from her endearing drunk words, she doesn't seem to have woken up and since her arm was still around him, he uses this chance to hoist her up and carries her to bed, tugging her in.

Paws pad against the floor behind him, announcing the arrival of Bobo. "Hey, Buddy, you're saying hello now?"
Squatting down, Jungkook pets Bobo's head. "I guess I shouldn't ask you to take care of her when you're barely a baby yourself."
Bobo doesn't show any sign that he understood. Instead the puppy jumps onto his knee. "You need to be a man, not a baby, Bobo."

Jungkook seems to be losing it, telling a puppy to become a man.

Leaving her room, he grabs the discarded bear and goes to stop the music player and is taken aback to see the cover of his older album. It shouldn't be surprising, but somehow it is and makes him feel... something.

He returns to her side and puts the bear next to her. He should be leaving immediately since he has made sure that she is fine. He should up and go but something was telling him to stay by her side.
Reaching out to brush her hair aside, she shivers and turns upon his touch. "Good night, beautiful."

No response. Sighing, Jungkook straightens up and takes a step towards the door when she speaks lowly but in the silence it's loud enough for him to hear.

"Don't go." He looks over his shoulder but her eyes are still closed. "I'm don't want to be alone."

His heart breaks for her. Even in her sleep she feels lonely. What must her daily life be like?
Is that why she was at work today even though she had the day off?
Is that why she had sought for his comfort even though she had forbidden herself to?

"I miss you," anticipating her next words, it hits him even harder when he hears who she means. "Eomma."

She used to cry in her sleep. Tears would slowly roll down her cheeks and it had always made him feel helpless because it didn't seem like he could help her. It had gotten better during their relationship but now it seems to be back in another form.

Suddenly, the connection hits him. Her pale complexion, her weak state, her repeated mention of not wanting to be alone. Her mother.
She had never told him what date is was exactly but thinking back to what she had told him and how she was behaving today, it would make sense.

Jungkook focuses on her again. Her brother also isn't here and there is her father. Her father. His blood runs hot just thinking of him. If only he could protect her from him.

"Don't go..." Her almost pleading words snap him out of his anger. He looks at her for a long time and then sighs having made a decision.

Jungkook is about to go out and switch of all lights when he remembers how she had reacted to the darkness. Keeping one lamp alight in the living room, he walks back to her bed and lays down next to her on top of the covers keeping a distance.
Like a subconscious act she begins to scoot closer not long after, Kookie Bear between them. That's all she does in her sleep, seek his nearness and that's something he can provide easily.

With the bear between them, Jungkook soon falls into slumber himself, wondering in how much trouble he will be once he wakes up.

Not so much like a gentleman, huh.



— — —
can you imagine how for 'For You' I would update only once a week and sometimes even longer than that... I have a bad.... habit(?) of not wanting to do the things the longer I procrastinate them... in retrospect I feel very very sorry to the people on tumblr who had to wait so long for me to update a chapter... if I remember correctly, the longest was.... four weeks? 😱😱😱 

Ailee is still stuck in my head, it's suuuch a beautiful song and her vocals 💘💘💘 Crush's song for Goblin is also really beautiful.... of course it would be it's acutally titled 'Beautiful' hehe :P