“I’m almost done.” Sunggyu said as he was struggling in hanging the banner on the wall. When he was done he went down the ladder and put his hands on his waist as he looked around Yerim’s apartment.

“Well done, Kim Sunggyu.” He praised himself with a smile. He glanced over the clock and cussed suddenly. “Oh shoot! Yerim’s gonna be here!!” He quickly turned off the lights and hid behind the curtains.

Sunggyu was counting by himself. *5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Here she comes!* and at the exact moment, Yerim came in and opened the lights. Her eyes widened in surprise. Sunggyu came out of the curtains and shouted, “SURPRISE! ADVANCE HAPPY BIRTHDAY YERIM!” He threw confetti everywhere.

Sunggyu came over and hugged Yerim, “Advance happy birthday, baby.” He whispered in her ear. He pulled back and pecked her lips.

 “Sunggyu.” Yerim’s expression softened. “You don’t have to do this.” She said tiredly as she looked at her decorated room.

The banner, the balloons on the ceiling, and the beautiful cake on the table, everything was well prepared and she was touched. Sunggyu noticed the tiredness in her eyes. “What’s wrong babe?” He asked, obviously worried about her. “I was just tired and busy. I actually have thesis to submit tomorrow.” Yerim said with a heavy sigh.

She put her bag over her study table and sat on her bed. Sunggyu went behind her and gave her massage on the shoulders. “Why did you do this anyway?” Yerim asked. “Did what?” Sunggyu innocently asked, still massaging her shoulders. “This. My birthday is two weeks from now. Isn’t this too early?” She held both of his hands and looked up at him.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. I want to do this for you.” Sunggyu eye smiled her. “And besides, I won’t be there on the day of your birthday.” He added. “Why?” Yerim’s eyebrows met. Sunggyu kissed the gap between Yerim’s eyebrows and said, “Because something came up.” He stood up and prepared the cake.

“Come over here and blow your candles.” He said and lit up the candles with the matches. Yerim warily walked over. Sunggyu sweetly sang a happy birthday for her girlfriend. Yerim loves it when Sunggyu sang for her.

“Happy birthday, future Kim Yerim.” He said happily. Yerim blushed at his sweet words.

The two of them ate but Yerim lose her appetite right away. “I’m done.” She said and she didn’t even finished half of her food. Yerim stood up and put her plate on the sink and went back to do her thesis.

“Hey. Don’t you like the food?” Sunggyu lightly joke but Yerim didn’t laugh but instead she answered, “I don’t feel like eating today, I still have lots of work to do.” She said while getting her papers ready. Sunggyu pouted but shrugged it off.

He was used to it, her girlfriend being moody and bipolar. “Do you want me to do that for you?” Sunggyu offered. “No thanks, babe.” Yerim said not taking her eyes off of her laptop.

 Sunggyu went to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess. “Do you want me to make you some juice?” He hollered from the kitchen. He heard no response and peeked over to see that Yerim was so busy on her thesis.

Sunggyu came over and rested his head over Yerim’s shoulder. “Hey, I heard they’re selling new delicious snack in the store. You want to grab some? Hm?” Sunggyu nudged Yerim’s side and she squirmed. Sunggyu’s smile turned into an evil grin. He continued to tickle her side. Yerim let out a laugh. “Sunggyu!!” She shouted. “STOP IT!!” She shouted as she tried to stop Sunggyu. But Sunggyu was stubborn and won’t quit tickling Yerim.

Yerim grew annoyed. “YAH! YAH! STOP IT ALREADY!” Yerim threw his hands away. Sunggyu never seen Yerim so mad before.

“Sunggyu, please.” She sighed. “I was thankful with all of these. I’m really am grateful and touched. But I have a project to submit tomorrow and I won’t be able to finish it if you keep on disturbing me.” Yerim tiredly said.

Sunggyu felt guilty. Yerim went back to her seat and continue her work. It was silent for a moment until Sunggyu grabbed his jacket and bag. He walked over Yerim and bent down a bit to stoop to her level. “I’m sorry, baby.” He said and kissed her temple. “Well I’m going now, don’t tire yourself too much.” Sunggyu straightened up and headed to the door.

When Sunggyu was gone, Yerim let out a heavy sigh and looked towards the door. She shut her eyes for awhile and took a deep breath and continued her work.

--

The next day, Sunggyu had an appointment to a doctor. “Good morning doctor.” He greeted with a smile. “Wow, you’re so cheerful today.” Doctor Yoon said. “Well, I can’t find any reason not to be cheerful.” Sunggyu said with happiness in his voice. *I admire this boy so much. He is so optimistic despite his situation now.* Doctor Yoon thought and then said, “Shall we start the test?” Sunggyu nodded.

After Sunggyu had his CT scan, he and Doctor Yoon gathered in his office.

“So doctor? How was it?” Sunggyu asked. Doctor Yoon examined the results and looked up to Sunggyu. “Well, Sunggyu it looks like you’re slowly getting better and better.” The words that Doctor Yoon had said gave Sunggyu a lot of hope. “…but your disease is fatal so there’s a possibility tha—’’

“I know doctor that I’ll die.” Sunggyu finished for him. “I’m actually prepared. I’m not scared anymore Doctor Yoon.” Sunggyu smiled. Doctor Yoon sighed but smiled weakly. “Well, that’s good to hear from you Sunggyu. You’re very positive. Anyway, if severe headaches occur just take the medicines I gave to you. I advice you that you refrain using your phone or any gadgets. Radiation from those will make your disease more risky.” Doctor Yoon explained while writing the prescribed medicine for Sunggyu.

Sunggyu took out his phone and sighed worriedly. *No phone? But how will I contact Yerim? We’re still in bad terms.* He thought. Sunggyu tried to call Yerim but he immediately pressed the ‘end call’ button. *She must be in class right now. I don’t want to disturb her again.* He tucked his phone into his pocket then got the prescription from Doctor Yoon.

“Just follow what I wrote in that paper, arasso?” Doctor Yoon said. “Yes, doctor I will. Thank you very much.” Sunggyu stood up, smiled at his doctor then left the hospital.

Meanwhile, Yerim was at her university. She was pacing back and forth. She already submitted her thesis and she was just waiting for her professor to call her.

“Jung Yerim.” Her eyes widened as her professor called her from the office. She slowly walked inside. “Have a sit.” Her professor said.

“Hm. I was actually impressed by your work, very precise and accurate.” Her professor complimented. “Thank you, sir!” Yerim smiled; obviously she liked what she had heard.

“Are you that so inspired Ms. Jung and you perfect your thesis?” Her professor serenely said. “I aced my project?” Yerim asked with wide eyes. “Yes you did.” Her professor gave her class card and added, “… and you deserved it.”

“Thank you so much, sir!!” She happily thanked her professor and left the room. Once outside, Yerim jumped up and down in happiness. She immediately thought of someone. *Yes, I’m inspired.* And that someone was Sunggyu.

She immediately took her phone out. She saw that there were no messages from Sunggyu. *I hope he was not disappointed at me. * She blew her bang off of her face. She texted Sunggyu.

To: Gyugyu <3

Hey!! Guess what? I aced my project!! I’m so happy! You know what, you’re the one that I was thinking of while I’m doing my project last night. You’re not mad at me, are you? I’m sorry if I snapped at you last night. I didn’t mean to be like that. I love you, Sunggyu.

From: Mimi ^-^~

When Sunggyu didn’t reply, Yerim panicked. *Oh my gosh, he’s mad at me!* Yerim tried to call him but it was always out of reach. After the nth time of calling Sunggyu, she gave up. *I’ll go to his apartment then.*

After class Yerim went to Sunggyu’s apartment right away. She bought snacks for them to share. Humming happily, Yerim knocked on the door.

“Just a second!” Sunggyu called from inside. Sunggyu check who was it in the monitor and a smile formed on his face when he saw it was Yerim. He quickly unlocked the door and opened it for you. “Hey.” Yerim softly called.

“Come on in.” Sunggyu walked to the side and let Yerim in. “I brought snacks.” She held out the bags and Sunggyu got them from her and put those on the counter. He took out two cans of juice and he opened them.

“Here, let me help.” Yerim came over and helped Sunggyu. She opened the chips and transferred them into a bigger plate. The two of them went to the living room and watched a movie. It was quiet and nobody talked but the atmosphere was light. They were just enjoying each others’ presence.

“So…” Yerim initiated to talk.  Sunggyu looked at her. “I texted you awhile ago and probably called you so many times but you didn’t answer.” Yerim softly said as she played with her finger nails. “Mianhae. My phone is broken.”  Sunggyu lied. “Is that it? Let me see, maybe we can fix it.” Yerim tilted her head and held out her hand, asking Sunggyu to give her his phone. “Ani. It’s alright. I’ll fix it later.” Sunggyu smiled.

“Oh okay.” Yerim went back to watching. All throughout the movie, no words were exchanged. Yet, Sunggyu won’t let missed this chance to be in good terms with her again.

He removed the pillow between the two of them and moved closer to her. Slowly, he held her hands and Yerim sat up in surprise. She looked at her boyfriend who was acting to be preoccupied with something else but his hand was still on hers. She smiled. She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

The television was on but no one was actually watching. Sunggyu kissed the top of Yerim’s head. He caressed her cheeks and Yerim closed her eyes and savored the moment. The movie ended and Yerim fell on a deep slumber. Carefully, Sunggyu set her body on the couch and put a blanket over her.

He pushed her bangs away from her face. He gently her cheeks with his thumb as he gazed at her girlfriend sleeping peacefully. Slowly, Sunggyu leaned in and lightly kissed her lips. A smile came on Yerim’s face, a genuine, beautiful smile to be exact.

Sunggyu’s expression softened. “I hope you’ll still smile like that even when I’m gone.” He chuckled softly. “I know you will you’re strong Yerim. I may leave you soon but I promise I won’t leave your heart.” Sunggyu kissed her forehead.

--

Sunggyu had work today at Café Moderato. The coffee shop was packed with customers. This morning they had a customer who was friend with his co-worker and she was bawling as if it was the end of the world. He found out from her co-worker that the woman was pregnant and the father of her child left her. *Poor lady.* He thought.

Around afternoon, a customer caught his eye. *Wow. Seoul’s renowned event organizer is here in our café.* He thought as a young lady went hurriedly inside and was looking for someone. He was the one who took her order. The woman was with a man and another lady. They seemed was in a deep discussion. Sunggyu observed the lady. *I’m pretty sure this woman likes that guy. I feel sorry for her, that guy was taken by that other lady.* He shook his head and went back to work.

As time went by, a lot of people came and Sunggyu was almost everywhere the café and he was multi-tasking. He was getting exhausted. He was bringing a tray of customer’s food.

“Here’s your order ma’am.” He said as he set the food on the table. “Enjoy your meal!” He smiled but his smile started to fade when he felt dizzy. His vision was spinning and started to blur.

In a swift of a second, Sunggyu fell on the ground.

--

That night, Yerim was on her way home. She was riding a bus and saw two people, a guy and a girl in the back seat talking. She smiled at the sight of the two individual and she started to reminisce. *I first met Sunggyu in the bus too.*

Soon, she hopped off the bus and started walking home. She passed by a park. Again, she saw two people and this time they were hugging. It was obvious that those two people were in love with each other. Yerim thought of Sunggyu once again. *Gyu confessed to me at the park too.* She blushed.

Yerim arrived at her apartment. She walked towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water. The glass slipped off of her hands and crashed into the ground. She suddenly felt nervous. She felt something bad happened to someone, to Sunggyu particularly.

She quickly cleaned up the mess and tried to call Sunggyu but she remembered it was “broken”. Still, she tried. It was ringing but no one was picking it up. “Aish Kim Sunggyu! Answer your phone!” She said to herself. She was becoming more and more nervous. She was walking back and forth, not knowing what to do.

Yerim can’t help but to be pessimistic this time. Random thoughts came to her mind. Thoughts like, Sunggyu was with other woman, that Sunggyu got hold up by a robber or Sunggyu got into an accident or worst, he died.

Yerim shook the bad thoughts away and decided to go to his apartment just to be sure. Minutes after, she arrived at his apartment. She walked towards the door and as soon as she was going to hold onto the doorknob, it opened.

Yerim jumped in surprise. “Oh! Auntie~ it’s just you!” She sighed in relief. On the other hand, Sunggyu’s mom just looked at her with sad eyes. “Auntie, is Sunggyu inside his apartment?” She warily asked. Yerim expected a yes from Sunggyu’s mom but instead his mom burst into tears.

“Auntie what’s wrong? Is there something bad happened to Sunggyu?” Yerim tried to calm her down. “Oh Yerim! Sunggyu… S-sunggyu is in the hospital. And he’s in a critical state!” Sunggyu’s mom bawled.

The two of them hurriedly went to the hospital. Doctor Yoon was talking to Sunggyu’s mom. Yerim was inside Sunggyu’s room. It pained her to see him in this state. He was so pale, an IV was attached through his skin, and his eyes were shut close. Yerim can’t help it and burst into tears as she held Sunggyu’s hand. She had no idea that Sunggyu had this fatal sickness. She felt sad and disappointed at the same time.

“You’re such a babo, Sunggyu! Why didn’t you tell me you’re sick?” She cried even more. “I don’t want to lose you now and not like this! Please Sunggyu wake up! Open your eyes and look at me!! Sunggyu!!” She held his hand tighter and praying that Sunggyu would wake up.

Her prayers were answered. Sunggyu slightly opened his eyes. “Yerim.” He whispered. Yerim sat up and said “Sunggyu! You’re awake! Oh Sunggyu!” She hugged him. “Aigoo.” He breathed. “Yah! Why didn’t you tell me you’re sick huh? Do you want me to be worried to death?” Yerim asked him as she was still crying. “No. I didn’t tell you I was sick because I want you to be happy.” He whispered. “Babo! How can I be happy when I’m seeing you like this.” She said. Sunggyu reached for her face wiped away her tears. “Don’t cry baby. You know I hate it when you cry.” Yerim looked away. “Yerim looked at me.” Sunggyu demanded. Slowly, Yerim look at him eye to eye. “Sunggyu, you’re not going to leave me right? You’re not going to die.” Yerim said firmly as she knelt down right beside his bed. “I cannot promise you that, Yerim.” He weakly said. Yerim can’t stop crying.

“Yerim, please. Can you smile?” “You’re crazy, how am I supposed to smile when you’re like this.” Yerim said with sadness in her eyes. “Exactly. I want you to be strong even when I’m gone. I want you to smile even though I’m going to leave.” “Shut up Sunggyu! You’re not going anywhere!” Yerim pretended not to hear him.

“Yerim. Don’t be like this. Please, for me do it. Eventually, you have to move on with your life. You’re strong, I know that. You can live without me. You can even push me away, remember?” He chukled a bit. “Yerim, if you keep on doing this, I’ll be not in peace. You want that to happen?” Sunggyu explained. “I love you Yerim. I really do. I love you so much but I guess this is my time. When I learned that I’m going to die soon, I also didn’t accept it right away because I was scared but I tried to be strong, I tried to fight my fears not only for myself but for you.” Sunggyu struggled to speak. Yerim kept on crying silently. “I love you Sunggyu, so much.” She held his face. “Okay. I’ll be strong. For you, I’ll be happy.” She said. Sunggyu smiled. “You promise?” He held out his pinky. “I promise.” Yerim interlaced hers to his. “That’s my girl.” Sunggyu said.

“I love you, Yerim.” Sunggyu said for the last time and closed his eyes for good. The moment he closed his eyes, the line for his heartbeat became flat. Yerim cried more as she held into Sunggyu. “Sunggyu!! Please!! I take back what I said! I can’t be strong! Sunggyu please!!! Wake up!! I need you!!” She shouted.

Doctor Yoon and Sunggyu’s mom went inside. His mom went over and started to cry. “My Sunggyu!” Doctor Yoon tried to revive him but Sunggyu’s body didn’t respond anymore. “SUNGGYU!!!” Yerim shouted.

It was over. He’s gone, for good. It’s true; it was hard for me to accept the fact that he was gone. But I promised him. I promised him that I’ll be happy. But there are times that I’m missing him. Reminiscing the good times we had, also the small fights. I remembered his ways to get me back, those sweet little ways. I miss his voice, especially when he sings for me. But instead of crying and locking myself in my room, I just smile because I know he’s just here somewhere looking out for me, guarding me. He never leave me, he’s here in my heart.

Kim Sunggyu, I love you forever and always.

AUTHOR'S MSG