Prompt-# : 8
For : @ onkeybum_
Pairing : Onew/Key
Author : Anonymous
Word count : 6.4k
Rating : PG
Warnings : N/A
Summary : Jinki feels himself fall in love for the first time with someone getting over their first love.
Jinki has just about has had it with his neighbors. It’s not like he doesn’t know that they’re the kind of couple that bickers a lot but it’s two in the morning and they’re both yelling at one another. He curses under his breath as he pushes his laptop away and gets up to look for a sweatshirt to throw on. He wonders if anyone else ever hears them or if it’s just him. It has to be him most likely. Their apartments are at the end of the hallway, and there’s only three others surrounding them: one is his, the other is the bickering couple, another is a single workaholic, and the other is empty. It used to belong to a nice old lady but she moved in with her eldest daughter about a month ago. Jinki throws his door open ready to give them a piece of his mind but he’s met with a scene that he wasn’t expecting. He was expecting to see two people glaring at each other or yelling words at each other or a slam of a door but he sees a small figure squatting in front of his apartment door, his head settled into his knees and Jinki can hear the sobs coming from him. As he gets closer he’s surprised to see the tears are coming from the more reserved one of the two.
He knows a small amount about the couple. One has the name of Kibum while the other has the name of Minho. They’re both really different that sometimes Jinki thinks about how they even work. From all the yelling they probably seem to work it out that way. Kibum is the quieter one of the two Jinki has noticed. He isn’t rude by any means but he’s more serious and what Jinki would consider reserved. While Minho has always seemed more open, he’s always down to have a friendly chat and waves to Jinki whenever he sees him.
Jinki wants to go over and talk to Kibum. He doesn’t know what he should do. He looks down at his feet and realizes that he has one sock on his foot and a slipper on the other. He was in a hurry to tell them to quiet it down he didn’t even put either his socks or his slippers on properly. Once he looks back up to where he hears small sobs he feels guilty about nearly barging over. Jinki runs his hands through his hair before finally turning back into his apartment. He doesn’t know him and he doesn’t know how he would react to a neighbor that’s practically a stranger go over and try to comfort him.
The next day Jinki gets home late. He plops onto his couch and decides he doesn’t want to move at all, but he still has things to do so he lets himself rest for half an hour before he drags himself off his couch and goes over to his room to grab his laundry.
Jinki walks over to a laundromat across the street and sits in his seat as his clothes gets washed. He curses under his breath that he forgot to bring a book or something. His phone is nearly dying and he doesn’t want it to run out of battery just in case someone calls him. So he hums and plays with the string at the end of his shirt until he sees that his clothes are ready to be hung up to dry. Jinki, not so gracefully, shoves his clothes until his basket and walks out easily.
Jinki climbs the stairs step by step until he finally reaches the roof. He gets ready to hang his clothes but he’s startled when he realizes he isn’t alone. He hears someone sniffling to the left of him and he once again sees the same person he saw at two in the morning.
Jinki gets closer and tries not to scare him so he clears his throat, “Hey,” he gently says. He would ask if the guy’s okay but right now is not the time. He’s obviously not okay. “Do you need some help?”
The younger man’s body freezes as the sound of his words and looks over at Jinki, his eyes are bloodshot red and he hurries to wipe them away as he sniffles. “I’m okay.”
“You’re not,” Jinki shakes his head.
Kibum lets out a pathetic laugh, “You’re right, I’m not.”
“Do you want to talk about?”
“What?”
Jinki scratches the back as his head awkwardly, “You can talk about it… with me, I mean. I’m offering-”
“Have you ever been in love?” Kibum cuts him off.
Jinki’s taken a back for a bit but he starts to think about it. He’s dated here and there. He’s had girlfriends, he dated a few men too, but he can’t call any of them someone he’s fallen in love with. Even his longest relationship ended because after the initial attraction it died down. So no, Jinki’s never been in love.
“I can’t say I have.”
Kibum nods, wiping away some of his falling tears. “I think I’m losing my first love.”
“Your first love?” Jinki questions.
“Yeah,” Kibum chuckles softly, his hands wiping the edges of his eyes. “My first love.”
“Is he okay?” Jinki asks. “Are you?”
“I don’t know...” Kibum looks towards the sky and then down at the street before them. “We’re having issues. I think we’re growing apart and he’s having a better time at dealing with it them I am.”
Jinki really can’t think of any words to offer so he nods.
“You see, all I’ve known about love is Minho,” Kibum sighs. “and maybe that’s why I’m having a harder time coming to terms with this relationship falling apart than he is. Minho’s the first guy I had a crush on. It was so stupid. I was in love with the most popular jock in the whole school. Every girl wanted him and of course I wanted him too. We sat next to each other in art class. He was taking it for fun while I was taking it because I love art. He sat next to me and didn’t leave me alone all semester and I was dying because I had this big stupid crush on him and I didn’t want to make it obvious until one day he told me he liked me and I swear I thought it was a joke but it wasn’t. He took me on date, my first date ever, then he asked me to be his boyfriend and we’ve been dating since. He was my first everything. My first date, kiss, boyfriend, love. Minho’s been everything to me and I don’t know what to do.”
“Then why are you so sure you’re falling apart? He must feel that way too.”
Kibum shakes his head. “We argue a lot. You must hear it.”
Jinki nods with an awkward laugh leaving his lips. “Can’t say I don’t know about your fights.”
“I’m sorry you have to hear them. We’ve always been like that but it’s gotten worse this past year.”
“You know they say that sometimes you need to let go of those you love. If they come back they were yours forever, if they don’t you were never meant to be.”
“Are you some kind of fortune cookie?”
Jinki grins, “You could say I do.”
“What would you do?” Kibum questions.
“I don’t know either of you so I can easily say that you two might just need time apart. But I don’t have feelings in this. I’m not in love and I’m not in your position. But if you say you love Minho… sometimes giving the person that you love what they need is for the best.”
Kibum’s eyes begin to look glossy again and Jinki’s heart sinks a little. He takes a deep breath before asking Jinki, “Even if that means I have to give him up?”
“That’s up to you to decide.”
“Thank you.”
Jinki hasn’t seen Kibum today and he can’t help but continually think about him. He wonders if he’s doing okay or if him and Minho have patched things up like they always seem to do. He really hopes they’re fine. Jinki has never once been in love but the way he saw how hurt Kibum was yesterday not only by the person he’s in love with but his first love ever it makes him feel sorry for Kibum. He can feel himself develop a soft spot for him, feels like protecting him and he doesn’t know why.
He’s in the middle of making dinner when he hears a knock on the door. He expected a few people but never thought he’d see Choi Minho standing in front of him with a box swept under his arm.
“Hello,” Jinki greets him.
“Hello, Jinki.”
“What can I help you with?”
“I know this sounds weird but can I ask you for a favor?”
“Sure...”
“I… You probably hear us from time to time. I’m sorry. I’m leaving…”
“You’re what?”
“I got a job offer and I won’t trouble you with the details of me and Kibum’s relationship but can you just keep an eye on him every once in a while.”
Jinki wants to say so many things but instead he skims his fingers through is hair and simply says, “Sure.”
Minho gives him and awkward smile before waving bye with a small thanks.
Jinki turns off the noodles he was making and pulls out his phone to order Chinese take-out. He only has to wait fifteen minutes before he has it in front of his door and he’s walking over to Kibum’s apartment.
Jinki’s heart sinks a little as he sees Kibum open the door. He looks worse than he did the other day and it’s sad to see such a beautifully striking man look so broken. He’s drowning in a huge brown furry sweater and his eyes are red and glossy from what he can only assume was from all the crying he’s been doing. His usually clear face is red and blotchy and before Jinki can offer any words Kibum opens his mouth and helplessly looks at him.
“He left,” his voice shakes, throat scratchy.
“Kibum…” Jinki says softly. “I’m so sorry.”
Kibum let out a small sob, moving over to let Jinki come through. “He-He just got up and left. I didn’t,” Kibum sniffles, “even have time to try to talk to him. He m-made his decision and left.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
Jinki frowns, “Hey, it’s not your fault that he left.”
Kibum doesn’t say anything but pull Jinki by the end of his sleeve towards his living room. He lets go of Jinki’s sleeve and throws himself onto his couch. Jinki stands awkwardly not knowing what to do. He looks around and notices his place looks just theirs. The décor is obviously different, their stuff looks much more delicate and tasteful looking. Whoever decided on it obviously put a lot of thought into it while Jinki just bought whatever was the cheapest.
“I brought food,” Jinki clears his throat.
Kibum pouts, “I’m not hungry.”
“Neither am I but I’m going to eat, please accompany me.”
Jinki moves in front of the small glass table in between the TV and couch and starts to pull out all the food he ordered. He also pulls out the disposable plates and chopsticks he brought. Kibum only looks at him while he does so and the small pout on his face is replaced with a small smile as Jinki starts to open all the containers. They eat silently while they mindlessly watch Running Man. Kibum laughs here and there and Jinki can’t help but love the sound of it. He wishes he could see Kibum like this all the time.
“Thank you,” Kibum finally says once Running Man is over and they’ve cleared their plates. “I needed that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Kibum exhales. “He got a job offer in Japan. He said it’d be a great time for us to take a break and I couldn’t even try to convince him otherwise. His mind was made up already, his suitcases were packed by the door and he had a plane ticket in between his passport.”
“Would you have stopped him if you could?”
“No,” Kibum says quickly. “I wouldn’t have. He’s right. He’s always been right. I’m just always too stubborn to give him the reason.”
They sit in silence, a drama coming onto the screen and they let it engulf their silence. Jinki looks at the clock by the door and he realizes it’s nearly ten. He has a few things due at midnight and he hasn’t started one of the them. He gets starts to put all the garbage into the plastic bag all the food used to be in but Kibum interrupts him.
“I’ll do it.”
Jinki shakes his head as he continues to put everything in and ties the tops of the bag with a knot. “I got it.”
Kibum rolls his eyes playfully and gets up to grab the garbage from Jinki, “I’ll take that.”
He follows Kibum towards the kitchen and stands awkwardly by the entrance, “I should get going…”
Kibum nods getting closer, “Thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
“It still meant a lot. My best friend is in L.A. right now and anyone who knows me and Minho know about how our relationship is so they would probably just assume we’d get back together in a few hours but that doesn’t feel like the case this time around.”
Jinki places his hand on Kibum shoulder and gives it a small squeeze, “I’m right next door if you need anything.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Jinki lets go of Kibum’s shoulder and heads towards the door, he grabs his shoes not caring to put them on he’s right next door anyway and walks over to his apartment.
Jinki and Kibum become comfortable with each other after Jinki went over with Chinese food. Jinki often finds himself over at Kibum’s watching the new episodes of Running Man with him and eating out of containers. Other times they find themselves over at Jinki’s playing some of the millions of board games he has. He learns a lot about Kibum, he’s only a few years younger than him and he isn’t originally from Seoul. He moved out here with Minho so they can study in the city. That made Jinki understand Kibum a little bit more when he said that Minho’s all he’s known for a long time, they even moved out here together he can’t imagine moving out with someone you love and then coming to an end with them and not knowing if it’ll get better.
They chat a lot and he learns that the person he once saw as reserved and cold is anything but. Kibum likes to talk and loves to go shopping. Jinki learns that Kibum is an only child and that he was raised by his grandmother because his mom got sick when she had him and his dad was always working. His voice shakes a bit when he explains that he passed away on his birthday two years ago and that he misses her. Jinki got close to him then and put his hand on his thigh for comfort. Kibum stopped looking at his hands and then glanced over at Jinki who looked surprised at his own action but Kibum offered him a small smile and Jinki didn’t regret his decision.
Jinki talks about himself too. He lets Kibum know he’s in his second year of med school and he’s studying to be Vet. He’s always loved pets since he was little and one time when he was little he found a bird that couldn’t fly so he took him inside and his mom yelled at him at first since she saw a bird just on the kitchen table with Jinki fussing try to fix him but after she saw how much Jinki wanted to help the bird she helped him and they nursed it back to health. Since the day that he saw the bird finally able to fly again he vowed he wanted to help more animals. Kibum gave him a wide smile after he told him all that saying he knows he’ll be the best vet ever. He’s heard that from a lot of people before but it never felt the way Kibum said it. It felt… warm.
They swapped numbers at one point when Kibum realized that they didn’t have each other’s numbers. He usually gets long rants from Kibum talking about how stressful his job is. Jinki will always reply with ‘Quit’ and Kibum will send him angry emojis with capital letters yelling at him and asking him how he could ever suggest such a thing. It’s a nice rhythm; one that Jinki has gotten used to.
Jinki is having a bad day weeks later.
He’s having a terrible day actually. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. First, he woke up late and he was late to his first class of the day. He quickly got ready, stuffed everything into his bag and ran towards his campus. He didn’t have time to look at any of his messages so when he got to his class he was met with an empty classroom and no one in sight. He looked down at his phone to see that in his notification was an e-mail informing him that class was cancelled due to personal matters. His stomach groaned and he reaches for his wallet but he can’t find it in his pockets and dives into his backpack where it’s nowhere to be seen. Jinki groans and walks towards the library to catch up on other work. He finds an empty table at the end of the library and pulls out his chair and begins to work. He starts his psychology paper that’s due in a few days but 10 minutes into writing his laptop starts dying and he forgot to bring his charger. Just his luck, honestly.
He sighs and closes it pulling out a notebook and begins to handwrite it instead. He could easily pass it onto his laptop later. His chemistry class is a bore and his teacher does nothing but read the slides on the board and it makes Jinki want to bash his head against his desk because honestly what is the point of putting them online and making him read them if they’re going to be read in class. He should have gone home but he doesn’t have it in him to just walk out in the middle of class. After one hour and 45 minutes, he’s one his way home and he just wants to dive into his bed and never come out. He’s going for his building’s door when he hears a cheerful voice call his name.
“Hey Jinki!” he turns to see Kibum with a wide smile.
Jinki just simply says, “Hey,” and opens the door for them and starts climbing up the stairs slowly. He feels bad for not returning Kibum’s enthusiasm but he has no energy for anything right now. Once he gets to his apartment door, he throws his shoes and bag to the floor and drags himself to his couch. He’s really glad he always leaves a blanket at the end of it because he covers himself with it and turns on the T.V. Jinki doesn’t even notice he nodded away until he hears a few knocks on his door. He thinks about letting the knock continue until they get bored and leave him alone but it could be someone important. So he pulls himself up with from the couch with a lot of effort on his part and walks towards his door. He doesn’t even look through the peephole to find out who it is he just opens it. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees a smiling Kibum looking at him.
“Hi,” Kibum says with a plate of cookies before him. “I saw you were having a rough day. I made these for you.”
Jinki’s face softens and moves to the side to let Kibum in. He happily takes off his shoes and walks into Jinki’s kitchen. He sets the plate of cookies on the table, taking off the napkin he laid on top and looks at Jinki head titled.
“Do you have milk?”
Jinki grins at Kibum’s question and nods. He walks over to his refrigerator and pulls out the milk. He places it onto the table and reaches for his cupboard to pull out tall glasses.
“You didn’t have to do this.”
Kibum hits Jinki’s arm playfully and pours milk into both of their cups. “Of course I did.”
Jinki grabs his glass and the plate of cookies and nods over towards his living room. He walks out with Kibum right behind him, both of them seating themselves on his gray couch while they skim through Netflix.
“So what happened?” Kibum questions, taking a bite out of one of his cookies.
“Everything went wrong today,” Jinki sighs, he grabs a cookie himself and nearly lets out a moan. “These are so good!”
Kibum lets out a giggle and Jinki’s eyebrows shoot up and the sound. “Thank you.”
“I woke up late today and was late to a cancelled class and then my laptop ran out of battery and I had no charger so I just gave up on the day before my last class.”
“That’s not too bad,” Kibum assures him.
“You’ve had worse?”
Kibum winces, “Pretty bad, yeah.”
“I want to hear,” Jinki perks up, grinning at Kibum from ear and ear and looking at him expectedly.
Kibum sighs, “Okay so last year I finally got a job after graduating and a month into my job I was running really late. I had broken my phone charger so I was using Minho’s and he unplugged my phone to charge his and my phone died so I had nothing to wake me up. I woke up really late and when I was half way to work I realized I forgot the portfolio I needed for one of the meetings and luckily I was on time for that meeting but then I realized that I had to place an order on a certain style of shoes for a photoshoot so I had to step out to do that. It not only made me late to that meeting but I ended up buying the wrong shoes. I was pretty much running around for a good half an hour trying to fix my mistakes and make up the fact that I was late. One of my co-workers said I looked like a headless chicken. Then I got home to find Minho had caught a cold so I had to take care of him for the rest of the day and he’s such a whiny baby when he’s sick.”
Jinki watches Kibum gasp for so air after he say that in one go and he let out a loud laugh.
“That does sound like a disaster of a day.”
“Buuuuut,” Kibum then adds. “The day after was great. Minho wasn’t sick anymore. The shoes came in perfectly and were used properly at the ‘shoot and I was asked to participate in a project with some of the people in the meeting. So you should have a great day tomorrow too.”
“What if I don’t?”
“I’ll make sure to bring you more cookies then.”
“Thank you for this.”
“What are friends for?”
Jinki loves that sound of that. Friends. But something in his heart wants more.
Jinki finds himself at the movies with Kibum that weekend.
Kibum was right and the rest of the week was great for him. He woke up on time the rest of the week, none of his classes were cancelled and he an ‘A’ on his paper. Kibum was so happy for Jinki that he announced they are going to the movies to celebrate.
“What should we watch?” Jinki questions once they’re inside and looking up at the movies titles and times.
“I want to see a comedy.”
“Okay,” Jinki agrees. “Comedies are good. You choose.”
Jinki doesn’t pay attention to what movie Kibum chooses. He just hands over his card before Kibum can pull out his and let’s Kibum drag them to their seats. Kibum gets up a few minutes later and exclaims, “We forgot popcorn!”
Jinki is about to hand him his card once again but Kibum shoots up from his seat. “I invited you,” he tells him. “Let me pay.”
Jinki laughs with a nod, “Bring napkins too.”
Jinki pulls out his phone to play Tsum Tsum before the previews start to play and he mindless makes notes of which movies he wouldn’t mind watching. Kibum comes back with a huge grin and two huge drinks and a bucket of popcorn. He plops himself down next Jinki and hands over the napkins and his drink.
“Line was long, sorry. Has it started?”
Jinki nods towards the screen, “You’re just on time.”
Jinki has a hard time paying attention to the movie and it isn’t a bad thing per say. As the movie continues he becomes fixated on something else—Kibum’s laugh. He has a ridiculous laugh but it’s so beautiful to Jinki. It’s a laugh full of life. Jinki loves the way Kibum eyes squint and his mouth opens wide and he lets out a loud sound as he laughs away at whatever made him reaction that way. He likes it when the tears that are coming out of his eyes are from laughing so hard not from the man that broke his heart.
“Did you like the movie?” Kibum asks once they’re walking home.
“Hm?”
“The movie! Did you like it?”
“Oh… yeah, it was great. My view… was amazing.”
Jinki’s done with his classes for the day and he’s sitting in front of his laptop trying to finish his paper but he can’t quite finish it. He thinks about last night with Kibum. He thinks about how happy it made him to see Kibum so happy. It scares him a bit how important Kibum being happy is to him. It could be because he saw him when he was at his most vulnerable state that he wants nothing more than to see him smile but it’s more than that for Jinki. He’s had his fair share of people he would cheer up and try to make feel better but this feels more personally. He… likes Kibum. Jinki’s head start to spin once he thinks about it because no way can he like him. He’s on the break with a boyfriend that he’s very much so in love with and asked Jinki to check up on him every once in a while. He forgot all about Minho’s request because it wasn’t about that anymore, it was about him liking being around Kibum… He really likes Kibum.
“I like Kibum,” Jinki says out loud. It doesn’t make it sound less crazy but it makes it sound so much more real.
The weather outside starts to change and Jinki curses at himself for forgetting to wear gloves. The snow feels nice against his eyelashes but the cold is a bit rough against his cheekbones. He brushes his hands against each other trying to warm them up and pulls open the door to his building. He decides to go straight over to Kibum’s instead of stopping over to his place and he freezes when the same sight he saw a few weeks back is welcoming him inside.
“Kibum?” Jinki softly questions when he places his bag by the door and follows him into the living room. “What’s going on?”
“Minho,” Kibum hiccups. “He broke up with me.”
“He what?”
“He-He said it’s better this way. Look,” he places his phone into Jinki’s hands.
Jinki looks down and he says the text that broke his friends in two.
Minho: Kibum, I want you to know that you mean a lot to me but I think it’s time we break up. After doing a lot of thinking I don’t think this working out the way we imagined. I’m really sorry. I hope you forgive me.
“Oh Kibum,” Jinki throws his phone onto the couch and brings Kibum close, letting him rest his head on his shoulder and snaking his arms around his waist. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Kibum sniffles. “I should have saw it coming. He doesn’t want me anymore.”
“You deserve better. You deserve someone who treats you right and doesn’t let you go. You didn’t deserve a break up over a text message and you didn’t deserve to get your heart broken. You deserve so much more.”
“I do?”
“Yes,” Jinki says softly, brushing one of his hands against Kibum’s arms. “You really do.”
“I don’t know what to reply to him. What do I say to that?”
“Tell him how you feel.”
“I just want to take a nap,” Kibum tells him. “I just want to not think about this right now.”
“Lay down,” Jinki points him towards the other side of the couch, grabbing the pillow and blanket he can only assume Kibum was using before he got there. “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
It doesn’t take long for Kibum to fall asleep. In twenty minutes he’s out like a light. Jinki pulls out to play Candy Crush and he’s so close to beating a new high score when Kibum’s phone buzzes under him. Jinki jumps a little at the contact against his thigh. He reaches for it to see Minho under the notifications. Jinki bites the bottom of his lip not knowing what to do. He wrestles against his thoughts Should I look? Should I not look? The former thought wins and he’s sliding Kibum’s messages open.
Minho: Kibum? Are you still there?
Jinki scrolls through the top of the text messages and sees that most of the messages have come from Kibum’s end. A few weeks back they were pretty constant. Asking Minho how he’s doing and if Japan was fun, he talks about his day here and there, a few couple of I miss yous as well. They start to dwindle down a lot until they completely stopped. The only time Minho appears is when he asks if he can talk and then to deliver the break up news. Against his better judgment he presses dial against Minho’s phone number and walks outside of Kibum’s apartment, making sure to keep the door unlocked.
“Kibum,” he can hear the voice from the end of the phone.
“It’s not Kibum.”
“Oh, uh. Who is this?”
“It’s Jinki, your neighbor. Well… ex-neighbor.”
“Oh Jinki! Hi, how are you?”
“I’m fine, Minho. I hope you are too.”
Minho let’s out an awkward laugh, “I’ve been better. Uh, why do you have Kibum’s phone?”
“I was over at your apartment. He fell asleep.”
“Oh so you know...”
“That you broke up with him over a text?”
“Yeah,” he pauses. “About that… I- “
“He deserves more than that don’t you think?”
“He does but I can’t keep this relationship going and I can’t just fly on a plane to Japan and… I just I can’t do this.” Minho’s voice cracks towards the end.
“Minho,” Jinki sympathizes. “You and Kibum have been together for a really, really long time and granted I mostly know Kibum’s side and his feelings. But from what he tells me and how you visited me before you left he means a lot to you. You don’t have to jump on a plane but you could call him or skype him or send him a handwritten letter something more than a text message. Don’t you want to end things right with the one person you’ve been with for years?”
“I do,” he hears a sigh. “I’m just, I’m scared. I’ve hurt him enough I don’t want to cause him more pain.”
“You’re hurting him even more by not actually talking to him.”
“Okay, I’ll think of something.”
“I’m sure you will. I’m sorry by the way. I hope you’re okay.”
“I will be. Thank you, Jinki.”
“No problem. Bye, Minho.”
“Bye.”
Jinki erases the last text message from Minho and makes sure to delete the phone call before he walks back into the apartment. He places Kibum’s phone next to him and grabs his own from the couch. He grabs his shoes and his backpack from the side of the door and walks over to his own apartment.
When Jinki gets inside he lets out a loud sigh. Even if Minho and Kibum break up it’s not like he can do anything. He would never pursue someone so heartbroken and he knows Kibum doesn’t feel the same way, not with how he’s been crying over his boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend.
Oh Jinki, he tells himself. You had to start falling for someone already taken, didn’t you?
Jinki pays Kibum a visit during dinner time. He doesn’t try Kibum to eat considering the state he’s in and everyone needs to eat. He doesn’t order any food this time around, just grabs two packets of ramen and makes his way over. He knocks on the door and hears Kibum yells it’s open.
“Thought it would be you,” Kibum tells him.
“Hey, are you feeling better?”
“Yeah,” Kibum nods, the smile he tries to offer to Jinki doesn’t quite reach his eyes but he’s happy to see him without tears.
“I’m glad.”
‘Minho,” Kibum pauses. “He, uh, called me.”
“He did?”
“Yeah we talked and stuff and there was a lot of crying from both of our ends,” Kibum laughs a little. “But I think we’re done for real this time.”
“I’m really sorry, Kibum. I am.”
“It’s strangely okay… I needed the closure. I needed to know why we were breaking up and we talked through it all and we both knew we just couldn’t keep going like this. I love Minho and I’ll always love him, he’s been a big part of my life but not all loves aren’t meant to last forever I guess.”
“And you called me a fortune cookie.”
“Oh shut up,” Kibum pushes Jinki playfully.
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
“It hurts like a but I’m just glad for once in our lives we were able to actually talk through it. Kind of that it was our break up though,” Kibum snickers. “He did tell me something… about you.”
Ah, . Jinki thinks. “He did?”
“That you told him I deserved more than a text message break up.”
“I-I can explain that to you.”
“He also said you seem to care a lot about me.”
“Well…”
“Do you?”
Jinki just stares at him. “Do I what? Care about you?”
Kibum nods.
“Of course I do.”
“Why?”
“Look Kibum you just got out of relationship and I don’t want to say anything other than focus on your feelings and- “
“Jinki,” Kibum cuts him off. “You’ve listened to my feelings since the day we first talked and I thank you for it. We can talk about yours too you know.”
“I don’t think it’s right to. At least not right now.”
“Okay,” Kibum gives him a small smile. “But we should. Soon.”
Jinki exhales a loud breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “We will.”
Jinki and Kibum are working alongside each other at Jinki’s kitchen table a month and a half later when Kibum brings up his feelings once more.
He tried a week later but Jinki refused. Kibum hasn’t pushed it since then and he’s happy. He’s also happy that Kibum has become happier. He’s become brighter and he even cut and dyed his hair a pretty blue black.
“After break ups most people change their looks,” he told Jinki. “This is mine.”
“You look handsome,” Jinki had told him.
“Soooooo feelings,” Kibum looks at Jinki with blinking eyes and sweet smile.
Jinki takes a deep breath. “Fine.”
“Really?!” Kibum eyes open widely.
“Okay. My feelings are simple. I like you, Kim Kibum.” Jinki doesn’t look at Kibum as he continues. “I noticed you before we talked on the roof. The day before we did, I was going over to tell you and Minho to quiet down but I saw you crouched down sobbing that I felt like a jerk and went inside. Since the I thought I just wanted to comfort you but it became more than that. You’re witty and kind and your laugh is my favorite thing. I know this is too much you’ve been in love with Minho for years that I might be crossing so many boundaries especially since me and you are only friends but you asked and here I am telling you.”
Kibum’s pen drops from his finger tips and his mouth gapes open. “Jinki…”
“I’m sorry,” Jinki shakes his head. “Forgot I said anything.”
“No, Jinki. Stop.”
“Kibum please just forget it.”
“Why should I?”
“Because you don’t feel the same way and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“Jinki,” Kibum grabs his hands and holds them, Jinki looks up to meet his eyes and he stays still. “I asked you to share your feelings for a reason. I was heartbroken about Minho and that’s normal I was in love with him. After we broke up, I realized that I love in love with the idea of him and our relationship from before than I actually was of him. It’s only been a month and a half and we were together for years so I don’t feel ready to jump into anything but I know you’re special to me in more ways than a friend…”
“Kibum, you don’t have too…”
“I’m not.” Kibum assures him. “You’re special to me, Lee Jinki. I can’t promise anything now but know that you mean something to me.”
Jinki’s heart pounds against his chest and feels his lips spread into a huge smile on his face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Kibum returns the very same smile.
Jinki knows it’ll take a lot of time but he’s never been happier.
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