Title : Sono et Voce
Prompt-# : 10
For : _keysteam @ twitter
Pairing : Jonghyun/Key, side (platonic) Taemin/Kai
Author : Anonymous until reveals
Word Count : 16,164
Rating : G
Warnings : none
Summary : The summer before Kibum's senior year would be the same had it not been for three things: Taemin, Jongin, and the chance sighting of Jonghyun's voice from around the corner.
 

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Special thank you to: ottomancouch, royaltysystem, holycanid, loveleyy and xfilesapphic on tumblr, synesthetes that took the time to help me make sure my descriptions of synesthesia were real and accurate.

 

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Taemin’s voice makes Kibum think of lazy mornings and the smell of coffee in the air, waking up with a light heart and next to a warm body. When Kibum opens his eyes, however, he sees the trail of sky blue floating around Taemin’s head, and he focuses on that, not on Taemin’s smiling eyes and messy hair and bright, tired grin.

 

Jongin’s voice is more earthy, warm brown and comforting; and Kibum always always always gets the image of grass blowing in the wind, of the wave of sunlight travelling across the land and the way clouds cover the sun, only for the sun to reappear moments later. Kibum thinks its funny how Jongin and Taemin can be so alike, (how their mannerisms and looks give them double takes and the question are you two brothers? whenever they’re together) yet their voices are so different, so beautiful and unique in their own ways.

 

It’s Monday, 10:03pm and Jongin’s wiping down the counters while Taemin sweeps, and Kibum focuses back on them as Taemin begins to dance with his broom, ignores the way Jongin’s voice swells above him when he laughs. It’s 10:03pm and it’s just them: Taemin and his broom, Jongin and the dishes, Kibum and his half-empty caramel-vanilla frappuccino.

 

“Kibum, are you watching my voice again?” Taemin’s voice is playful and Kibum rolls his eyes, but they’ve done this enough so Kibum already knows how this will end.

 

“Yes, Tae-”

 

“Tell me how my voice looks!” The demand is childish, but then, so is Taemin - so is Jongin, they all are - and Kibum hums.

 

“Your voice is light blue, Taemin-”

 

“I know, I meant what does it remind you of today?” Taemin looks genuinely curious now, an impish grin still on his lips.

 

“Lazy mornings and the smell of coffee in the air. Waking up with someone holding you, and feeling so...happy and in love.”

 

“What about me?” that’s Jongin. He’s finished with the counters and is now waiting for Taemin to finish so they can leave. He looks more serious than his ‘twin,’ but Kibum can feel the playfulness in the way he holds himself.

 

“Warm brown, like...caramel? Your voice reminds me of grass blowing in the wind, and clouds covering the sun, and the wave the sun makes on the grass when it appears again.”

 

“Ha,” Taemin crows, “my voice is prettier than yours!”

 

“Shut up, Taemin.”

 

“Make me then.”

 

“Jongin, Taemin, you both stop. Are you done yet, Tae?”

 

Taemin flips Jongin off very conspicuously and then turns back to Kibum with an innocent grin on his lips before he nods, “Yeah, we can go.”

 

Kibum follows Taemin out the shop, juggling his coffee and trying to find his headphones.; Jongin’s just behind after he locks the shop up. It’s surprisingly uncrowded for a warm July night and Kibum breathes a sigh of relief as Taemin begins to tug him down the streets. There’s no need for his headphones anymore and Kibum shoves them in his pockets, eyes unwillingly going from the bob of Taemin’s hair to his voice and Jongin’s, to the violets and yellows and reds and blues of the people they pass every so often.

 

Taemin’s small hand is in his own and Jongin takes his now empty coffee-cup to throw it out; and just when they’re about to round the corner, Kibumsees it. Light, enchanting hazy gray and Kibum doesn’t think twice before going to follow it. Taemin calls after him, but Kibum needs to see the source of this pretty, playful voice. Around the corner is a circle of people crowding around a singer and Kibum shoves his way through the crowd and-

 

The singer is petite and blonde, wearing a fluffy white sweater and ripped jeans, even though it’s hot and mildly humid out. He has a guitar perched on his lap and he’s smiling down at it as he tunes it. He’s humming low under his breath and when he looks up, he’s smiling wide, eyes squinting up into crescents as he puts his fingers to the strings and starts to play. Kibum closes his eyes to focus only on his voice: melodic and breathy and beautiful.And when he opens his eyes, the haze above the delicate singer is dove gray, almost like mist or stormy seas and the cold stillness of winter’s dawn.

 

Kibum doesn’t know how long he stands there, in a trance from that voice, but suddenly there’s a hand on his arm, pulling him back. It’s Jongin; he looks confused but he doesn’t even look at the singer, just tugs Kibum from the crowd and continues walking at a brisk pace.

 

“We’re going to miss our bus, did you forget?” Jongin lets go of Kibum and jogs to catch up to Taemin, who had been impatiently waiting at the corner.

 

And , Jongin’s right. Kibum hurries to catch up to them both and puts all thought of the petite blonde singer with the breathy gray voice out of his mind.

 

But it’s funny, because the more he tries to forget the man, the more he comes into Kibum’s mind. Whenever Kibum tries to paint, he ends up sketching the singer and his round eyes and plush lips, the guitar in his lap and the way he looked so happy doing nothing at all. Kibum draws the man and his voice, sketches his hands curved delicately over the strings, draws his eyes and his nose and his lips, the soft fabric of the sweater, his slim legs, the way he bent his neck over the guitar.

 

Taemin and Jongin take every Friday off to spend at the dance studio and the three of them meet up before the heat of the summer day sets in, dance until they’re hungry, order food and then dance until the sun goes down. The other days, Taemin and Jongin work at the coffee shop from dawn until dusk. Kibum stays inside every day: avoids all the crowds and the voices by drawing and painting and blogging. It gets tiresome, but he’s used to it, and on the especially hot days, Taemin and Jongin come over and they all head out to Jongin’s friend Suho’s pool. And every evening close to closing time, Kibum goes out to meet Taemin and Jongin at the coffee shop, get a drink and walk home with them. But today is different, because Taemin realizes that he’s left his wallet at home, and neither Kibum nor Jongin have enough money to pay for his bus fare. And since Taemin and Jongin live in the opposite direction as Kibum, they all decide to walk home.

 

But it’s so nice out, warm and not humid at all, and Kibum’s feet end up taking him to the old playground by the river, the one no one goes to anymore because it only has a slide, a seesaw and four swings left that work. Which is why he stops short when he sees someone sitting at the top of the swings, not facing him. Kibum coughs to announce his presence and the person on the slide spins around, and of course it’s the petite blonde singer from before. He gives Kibum a soft smile and waves, slides down the old slide and heads over, completely unhesitant.

 

“Hi,” he says. This close, Kibum notices that he’s almost a head taller than the singer, that the singer’s eyes twinkle and that his face is open and friendly.

 

“Hi,” Kibum mimics, breathless; then, “I’m Kibum.”

 

“Jonghyun. I remember you, you were in the crowd the other day. Your friend pulled you away before you could donate.”

 

“Starving artist, huh?”

 

“Only mentally,” Jonghyun says it lightly even as he heads over to the swings, “but it’s fine. I like singing. What do you do?”

 

His speaking voice is brown - darker than Jongin’s with reddish overtones, and it reminds Kibum of autumn, of freshly tilled soil and hot chocolate and firewood. Kibum wants to fall into it, wants Jonghyun to sing him to sleep.

 

“I draw,” Kibum shrugs, tries to relax as he sits on the swing next to Jonghyun, “nothing too exciting, really.”

 

“You don’t go out much.” It’s a simple observation, and Jonghyun points to the pale of Kibum’s wrist, “why not?”

 

“I don’t like the heat,” Kibum throws out the first excuse that comes to his mind, “I burn easily.”

 

“Oh.” Jonghyun smiles wide, pushes himself on the swing gently, “I don’t like going out much either, I understand. For some reason, I get the best sleep during the day, if I do at all. Insomnia.”

 

He’s so open about it, and Kibum frowns. To be so trusting, so comfortable with strangers…(But then, he thinks, synesthesia is a lot different from insomnia.)

 

“Do you write your own lyrics, then?”

 

“I do! Lyrics, composition, everything. Or, I did, I’m burnt out now. I haven’t written anything I liked in a while. Now everything’s just garbage. But then, I think I’ve always been hard on myself.”

 

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It can make you want to do better. Believe me, I know.”

 

Jonghyun looks over, startled, then he grins. “It must be a creative thing. So what brings you here?”

 

“Do you want me to push you?”

 

Jonghyun seems to read the mood because he slips off the swing, points to the seesaw, a playful look in his eyes. “Let’s do that instead.”

 

Kibum doesn’t think he could resist anything Jonghyun offers, so he follows. He’s sure they must look strange, two adult men on a seesaw meant for children, but Jonghyun’s laughing and Kibum finds that in this moment, he doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

 

They end up staying in the park almost all night; they’re sitting on the lone bench next to each other and suddenly, Jonghyun’s head lolls and falls onto Kibum’s shoulder and Kibum realizes that Jonghyun is fast asleep. His head is heavy, but Kibum doesn’t mind because he smells good (almost like cinnamon vanilla) and it’s warm, and just when Kibum shifts to lay his head on top of Jonghyun’s, he starts awake, knocking Kibum’s head in the process.

 

“Oh my god, I’m sorry-” Jonghyun still sounds sleepy, and he yawns even though he looks panicked, and Kibum laughs.

 

“It’s fine. Lay down, go back to sleep.”

 

Jonghyun eyes Kibum’s lap doubtfully, worrying his plush lower lip between his teeth and he glances back up at Kibum before moving over to rest his head in Kibum’s lap. He tenses up when Kibum gently runs his fingers through soft blonde hair, but he soon relaxes and Kibum listens to the cicadas hum as Jonghyun’s breaths deepen and even out as he falls back asleep.

 

Kibum stays awake for the whole night, listening out for...he doesn’t know what exactly, and there are no voices out here and it’s so refreshing, to be outside and not have to worry about being distracted or overwhelmed in a thick crowd.

 

Jonghyun starts awake close to dawn, rubbing his eyes as he yawns, turns over so his face is pressed into Kibum’s stomach and he hums, voice rough with sleep. “Morning…”

 

“Morning, sleeping beauty. Do you want to catch the sunrise?”

 

“Mm...yeah.” Jonghyun doesn’t move for a solid five minutes after that, and just when Kibum goes to rouse him, he sits up and stands, cracks his back and grins down at Kibum. And suddenly Kibum isn’t so tired anymore.

 

They watch the sunrise from the top of the hill by the ballpark, head back and Kibum buys them both coffee and a doughnut from the coffee shop (Taemin’s eyes are on Jonghyun and Jongin stage-whispers to Taemin that isn’t Kibum wearing the same clothes from yesterday?) but Kibum doesn’t mind their teasing, because Jonghyun giggles, and Kibum finds that he likes that sound.

 

People are starting to pour in and Kibum tries his best to focus on the people and not the clouds of color floating above their heads, tries to focus on Jonghyun’s pretty lips as he speaks, how Jongin concentrates on the register while Taemin handles the orders given, but it’s as hard as it had always been. It’s distracting and Kibum feels almost nauseous (because at least in crowds, he has his headphones, but now…) but Jonghyun looks so happysipping his hot chocolate that Kibum doesn’t have the heart to tell him how much he’s suffering.

 

They end up leaving only because Taemin (sweet, gentle Taemin) notices Kibum’s state and rushes over, shoos them away for taking up space even though they don’t have any drinks. Kibum decides that he’s going to buy dinner for him for a week, he’s that grateful.

 

“So you said you write songs?” Kibum asks, eyes cast down as they aimlessly walk the streets.

 

“Yeah...I play mostly on street corners. Sometimes bars and similar gigs, but mostly for my baby, Roo. She’s with my sister now, though. Do you like dogs?”

 

“No, but I want them. I love dogs.”

 

Jonghyun claps, delighted, and suddenly turns to face Kibum, lips pursed. “Do you want to come over?”

 

“Isn’t that a bit fast?” Kibum’s eyes have unwittingly latched onto the haze of earthy brown above Jonghyun even as he listens to Jonghyun speak.

 

“Well, I already slept in your lap, I think we know each other pretty well.”

 

Kibum purses his lips as he considers, then shrugs and nods. “What the hell, I may as well. Lead the way, Jjong.”

 

Jonghyun’s face brightens considerably and he nods eagerly, latching onto Kibum’s hand and tugging him down the street as if they can’t afford to go any slower.

 

Jonghyun’s house is quaint, small in size but Kibum can tell that it’s a home and not just a house as soon as he steps inside. Jonghyun toes off his shoes and kicks them in a corner haphazardly and Kibum sets his next to Jonghyun’s (albeit more neat), and follows Jonghyun to the kitchen, where Jonghyun pulls out a can of soda for them both. It’d already warmed up outside and Kibum is grateful for the cool drink, then Jonghyun tows Kibum upstairs and into his room. His room is small, made smaller by all the clothes on the floor and the papers strewn across the desk. His guitar is propped up in the corner held up by a stand and there are even papers taped to the wall. There’s what looks like scribbled (crossed out and marked up and highlighted) lyrics and music notes written in a chaotic stream across the papers and Jonghyun chuckles, shoves the clothes into his closet and Kibum tries not to laugh because Taemin is exactly the same. Otherwise, Jonghyun’s room is bare, just his desk and unmade bed, a lamp on the nightstand and his guitar. It’s painted a pretty dark blue color that reminds Kibum of the sea.

 

“I like your room.”

 

Jonghyun shrugs, finishes tidying up and sits on the bed with a heavy sigh. “It’s nothing much. It’s home.”

 

“It suits you,” Kibum affirms, gingerly sits next to Jonghyun on the bed. They’re both quiet then, but it’s the type of silence that Kibum relishes, no voices, no colors, just peaceful quiet.

 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Jonghyun blurts out, and Kibum shrugs, nods.

 

“What kinds of movies do you like?”

 

Jonghyun shrugs, tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling as he hums. “Anything, really. You?”

 

“The same. Anything but horror, really. Unless you want me screaming in your ear.”

 

Jonghyun glances over, surprised, and then he bursts into giggles, and again, Kibum finds that he likes that sound, that color.

 

When Kibum looks over at Jonghyun about halfway through the movie, (they’re watching Zootopia and Kibum absolutely loves it; he’s seen it close to ten times but he never gets tired of it) he realizes that Jonghyun is fast asleep, head pillowed on folded arms. He looks peaceful, and Kibum only now just notices the heavy dark circles under his eyes. As quietly and slowly as he can, Kibum reaches over for the remote to turn the TV off.

 

On a blank sheet of paper on the desk he writes his name and number, that he’d had a lot of fun and that maybe they could hang out again sometime. And after one last look over at Jonghyun, Kibum steals out of the room as quietly as possible so as to not wake him. Outside is frightfully hot and Kibum now wishes that he’d taken that soda with him, but it’s far too late now and he decides to just head home as quickly as possible to shower and then to nap himself. The shower is quick (he starts with hot water and eases it down to cold water; he’d read that cold water was better for the skin) and then he flops down onto his bed, phone in hand.

 

 

From Tae: can i com over?

 

From Jongin: pls dont answer tae hes trying to ditch work

 

To Tae: why are you trying to leave work?

 

From Tae: its s o h o t

 

To Tae: stay at work

 

To Jongin: if he tries to leave know that i said no

 

From Jongin: thx

 

From Jongin: dinner later?

 

To Jongin: sure

 

From Tae: >n< ihu kibum

 

To Tae: get back to work

 

Kibum scrolls through all the mandatory apps (instagram, twitter, snapchat and tumblr) and then tosses his phone to the far corner of his bed. Of course though, it buzzes as soon as he does so, and when Kibum picks it up, it’s a text from an unknown number.

 

 

From Unknown: hey kibum! did u go home?

 

From Unknown: its jonghyun btw

 

From Jonghyun: i napped well ^^

 

To Jonghyun: do you get a lot of sleep?

 

From Jonghyun: insomnia lol;;; i sleep wehn i can

 

To Jonghyun: i’m sorry

 

From Jonghyun: ^^

 

From Jonghyun: do u wanna do smtg later?

 

From Jonghyun: im bored lolol

 

From Jonghyun: do u wanna get dinner?

 

To Jonghyun: im going out with friends but you can come too. Its just taemin and jongin, from the coffeeshop

 

From Jonghyun: ^^ sounds fun! waht time?

 

To Jongin: what time for dinner?

 

From Jongin: after we close up. Just come here

 

To Jongin: ok

 

To Jonghyun: i’ll pick you up at around 10 okay?

 

From Jonghyun: ^^

 

Jonghyun texts cutely, Kibum thinks. Bright and bubbly and Kibum can practically see him, bent over his phone, soft smile on his lips. Kibum also thinks he’s thinking way too much about Jonghyun, so he decides to take a quick nap instead.

 

His quick nap turns into sleeping the day away (which is understandable because of the impromptu all nighter he’d just pulled) and he wakes at close to 9pm. Which leaves no time left for his hair and outfit because he’ll be damned if he had to go anywhere looking as sloppy as Taemin usually did (and especially in front of Jonghyun, he can’t help thinking). He ends up throwing on his worn white shirt, the light translucent one that he always pairs with the black pants that make his thighs look slimmer. He’s back at Jonghyun’s house and even before he can knock, Jonghyun’s opening the door, hair slicked back and Kibum’s eyes fall to the beauty spot exposed by the deep v of his shirt.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“I don’t know yet, actually. I think it’s Jongin’s treat this time.”

 

Jonghyun frowns at that, worrying his lip between his teeth before turning around to lock the front door. “Is that okay? I can pay for myself-”

 

“We always do this, don’t worry. Just...don’t be like Taemin and order the most expensive thing off the menu.”

 

Kibum’s eyes immediately fly to the brown haze about Jonghyun’s head when he laughs (he can’t miss though, the way his eyes squint up and the way his hand covers up to hide his wide grin) and he feels a similar grin begin to creep over his lips unbidden.

 

Jonghyun lets Kibum set a brisk pace down the street and they’re both quiet; they reach the coffee shop and Taemin and Jongin have already closed up and are waiting outside. Taemin is the first to see them, he nudges Jongin and whispers something, eyes not leaving Jonghyun.

 

Kibum ignores their twin mischievous grins in favor of gesturing to each in turn, “Jonghyun, this is Taemin and Jongin. Jongin, Taemin, this is Jonghyun.”

 

“We remember you,” Taemin says, “you’re cute. Do you think Kibum is cute?”

 

“Don’t answer that, what did you two do all day?” and then to Taemin, “no hickies on either of them-”

 

“Do either of you know how to be civil? Christ. Where are we going?”

 

Taemin shrugs the same time Jongin says, “I thought you were planning this.”

 

Kibum sighs.

 

They end up going to Starbucks (Kibum’s choice because Taemin and Jongin always gripe about how expensive their coffee is) and then they head to the old playground again. Taemin has already downed half of his iced caffe mocha and Jongin has finished his iced chile mocha; both of them are swinging without a care while Kibum and Jonghyun find themselves back on the bench. Jonghyun is delicately sipping his-

 

“What is that?”

 

“Caramelized honey latte,” Jonghyun glances at Kibum sidelong, a soft grin flirting with his lips, “would you like to try?”

 

“No thanks...isn’t it too hot for that?”

 

“I like being warm. Is yours good?”

 

Kibum shrugs, looks down at his drink and takes another sip. “I’m not really a fan of coffee, but Jongin was buying, so.”

 

“Iced…”

 

“Iced white chocolate mocha,” Kibum holds the drink out and Jonghyun’s plush lips wrap around the lip of the straw as he tastes.

 

“I like it. It’s sweet.” the way Jonghyun looks at Kibum when he says it though, sounds like…

 

“Tae, they’re matching, how gross!” (And they are; Kibum’s white long sleeved shirt and Jonghyun’s white t shirt.)

 

Taemin whips his head over to look at them and makes an exaggerated puking noise as Jongin laughs, eyes squinting shut as he ducks his head.

 

“I like the way they laugh,” Jonghyun murmurs, “it’s so genuine. Jongin laughs with his whole body, but Taemin’s whole face lights up when he laughs. It’s cute.”

 

And it’s true, Kibum realizes. Jongin ducks his head when he laughs, always has to reach out to the person next to him (usually Taemin) to grip their wrist or hit their arm because he’s laughing so hard. His laugh is loud and unrestrained, a huge contrast from Taemin’s quieter laughs, muted by a hand held up to his mouth.

 

“Look at you,” Kibum nudges Jonghyun, “what a poet.”

 

Jonghyun huffs like he’s offended, but he’s smiling and it makes Kibum smile too. Jonghyun’s plush lips are curved into a pretty grin and Kibum wants to capture this moment with his pen and paper, wants to sketch the sharpness of his cheekbones and the softness in his eyes, the gentle slope of his nose and the curve of his lips.

 

“You’re staring at me…” Jonghyun’s voice is quiet and he’s holding his cup tightly now, with both hands.

 

“You’re beautiful-” (Jonghyun squeaks) “and I want to draw you.”

 

“Gross.”

 

“Disgusting,” Taemin agrees, he takes his cup of coffee and downs it, tosses the cup at Jongin to throw it out, “absolutely disgusting. So, Jonghyun. You never answered my question from earlier. Is our Kibum cute?”

 

“I think you’re cute,” Jonghyun says, lips tilting up to match Taemin’s grin, “I think you’re gorgeous. I want to write a song about you.”

 

“Oh,” Taemin looks startled, but pleased, and he turns to Jongin, “oh, I like him.”

 

“You just like being complimented, you brat.”

 

“I think you’re cute too, Jongin.”

 

Jongin’s mouth opens and then shuts, and he nods slowly. “Kibum, we’re gonna steal him.”

 

Jonghyun just giggles at that and looks over at Kibum, mirth in his eyes, “They’re gonna steal me!”

 

“You sound awfully happy about that.”

 

“We’ll be nice,” Taemin sits down next to Jonghyun, pulls him over so the blonde is perched delicately in his lap, “Jonghyun is super cute, so we’ll be nice.”

 

“They said I’m cute!” Jonghyun sounds even happier, if possible.

 

“Because you are. Right, Kibum?”

 

Jongin and Taemin are being ruthless, Kibum thinks. He absolutely does not like their twin cheshire grins, the laughter they’re trying to suppress. “I’m not going to answer that.”

 

“You hear that? He doesn’t think you’re cute.”

 

“I never said that-”

 

“So you do think he’s cute! And I mean, how could you not, look at him!” Taemin turns Jonghyun’s face to Kibum and Jonghyun tilts his head down just a little to pout obligingly, eyes wide and pretty pink lips pursed.

 

“I think,” Kibum glances from Taemin to Jongin in turn, then back, “that that’s enough meddling for the month.”

 

“The entire month?” Taemin sounds incredulous, but he’s still grinning, “I don’t even think it was meddling. Do you think it was meddling, Jonghyun?”

 

Jonghyun twists around to look at Taemin and he has a soft little grin on his lips when he turns back to Kibum. “I wanna know if you think I’m cute, Kibummie.”

 

Kibum ignores Taemin and Jongin’s crowing to tug Jonghyun closer and whisper in his ear, “I think you’re really cute.”

 

The midnight haze of summer heat, Jonghyun’s flustered grin, even Taemin and Jongin’s playful laughter and the sheer closeness between them all - physical and emotional - makes Kibum feel like he’s coming home.

 

Kibum ends up walking Jonghyun home: they all part at the coffeeshop - Taemin and Jongin go left, and Jonghyun and Kibum go right. It’s quiet, but it’s the comfortable kind of silence and Jonghyun keeps glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

 

“What are you looking at?”

 

“You,” it’s open and honest and Jonghyun’s voice is soft, thoughtful, “I wish I could draw. You’re gorgeous.”

 

Kibum swallows down the butterflies in his stomach and laughs, smoothing a hand through his hair to hide how flustered he is. “Isn’t it a little too soon to say that? God, Jongin and Taemin would never let that go.”

 

“I’m just saying the truth.” Jonghyun sounds amused, but doesn’t pursue the subject and Kibum breathes a sigh of relief when they reach Jonghyun’s doorstep.

 

“Ah,” Jonghyun’s unlocked the door, but he turns around, a playful grin on his lips, “where’s my goodnight kiss?”

 

Kibum’s mouth opens, then closes when Jonghyun giggles. “It was a joke, Kibummie.”

 

“Very funny, Jong.”

 

Jonghyun gives Kibum a pleased grin, then his expression changes and just as quickly as he’d dropped the playful exterior, he leans in and presses his soft lips to Kibum’s cheek. Everything is still when he pulls away, whispers a soft, “Good night, Kibummie.” and then he goes inside and shuts the door behind him.

 

The next morning, Kibum wakes because of the buzzing of his phone. He checks the time first (9:47am) and then his notifications. What catches his eye though, is that Jonghyun has messaged him.

 

 

From Jonghyun: morning ^^

 

From Jonghyun: wanna do something today?

 

From Jonghyun: a movie or the arcade or somethign

 

And oh, because Kibum wonders for half a second is this a date? And oh again, because the movies and arcade don’t mix well with his synesthesia, but then…

 

 

To Jonghyun: idk…

 

From Jonghyun: it’s fine! We can do something another time

 

Kibum doesn’t know why he feels so guilty. And against his better judgement, he sends a quick message back:

 

 

To Jonghyun: we could do something tonight?

 

From Jonghyun: ^^ what kind of food do you like?

 

To Jonghyun: no no i dont want you to spend money on me its fine!

 

From Jonghyun: at least ice cream…

 

To Jonghyun: fine

 

To Jonghyun: i’ll be at your house at 8 then

 

From Jonghyun: @_@ i hsould celn up then

 

To Jonghyun: do you want to come over then?

 

Kibum’s heart feels like it’s going to pound out of his chest while he waits for Jonghyun’s response, and when Jonghyun replies (From Jonghyun: ^^) it only worsens.

 

 

From Tae: me nd kai are going to the movies later wanna come?

 

To Tae: no can do

 

From Tae: whaaaat why

 

From Tae: do you have a date?

 

From Tae: HOLY U HAVE A DTAE

 

From Jongin: u have a date?? Is it jong????

 

To Jongin: shut up

 

To Tae: shut up

 

From Jongin: you totally have a date

 

From Tae: make sure you use protection lololol

 

From Jongin: we’ll need all the details later

 

Kibum leaves their messages unanswered, decides to draw instead to pass the time. All the pictures he sketches end up being of Jonghyun: the curve of his slim waist, the shape and warmth of his eyes, his hands around his coffee cup, his lips curved up into a sweet smile, his pout as he sat perched in Taemin’s lap. Kibum also sketches Jongin and Taemin laughing, heads bent together. He shades in the dark of their hair mingling, inks out the curve of their grins and the way they mirror each other when they dance. He tries to pencil in the haze of their voices, gives up halfway through because no color is exactly right for the bright blue of Taemin’s voice and the brown of Jongin’s, the gray of Jonghyun’s breathy high notes and the earthy brown of his voice.

 

Kibum draws until his fingers begin to cramp up, until his hand is smudged with ink, until his eyes burn from keeping them open. Then he puts his pen down and closes his sketchbook and wanders downstairs for a snack. He ends up eating a salad to balance out all the junk food he’d been eating before, finishes it off with half a water bottle. It’s only 11 now, so Kibum goes back upstairs, collapses on the bed and falls asleep almost immediately.

 

He wakes up hours later feeling completely refreshed, warm and hungry and satisfied. Taemin’s sent him a video on snapchat of him and Jongin, they’re ing around in the coffeeshop since there are no customers. Kibum’s almost amazed that the both of them have managed to keep their jobs for so long; another video comes in, this time of a rundown of all of the snacks at the shop. The caption reads “do you want anything?” and he does,but to go all the way to the shop…

 

 

To Tae: how’s the weather?

 

From Tae: warm. Not many customers, we might close early

 

To Tae: pls be responsible

 

From Tae: we will!!!

 

To Tae: i’ll be there within the hour, but i’m not staying long

 

From Tae: ^^

 

Which is suspicious, but Kibum thinks nothing of it. And he only realizes just how wrong he is when he gets to the store, sees a familiar head of blonde hair and a slim waist. Jonghyun’s not facing him, but Taemin waves and Jonghyun spins around and smiles when he sees Kibum, and it makes Kibum’s cheeks warm even as he waves back. Jongin’s making a cup of coffee for the girl at the counter, but when he sees Kibum, he grins as well and inclines his head towards Jonghyun, who is still smiling that soft smile at Kibum. Kibum sits next to him, eyes falling to his plush lips without meaning to. He can practically still feel the gentle brush of them against his cheek, the wisp of warm breath and the quiet words that had broken the silence between them.

 

“Hi Kibummie,” Jonghyun says quietly. He’s still smiling, but it looks more like he’s trying and failing to fight it down.

 

“Hi Jonghyunnie,” Kibum mimics just as quietly. Jonghyun’s hand looks so inviting all of a sudden, so soft and small and warm, and Kibum wants to hold it, feel those slim fingers close around his own. He doesn’t though, grounds himself with the fact that they’ve known each other for only four days, and you can’t really go around kissing and holding hands with people you’ve known for four days, however cute they are.

 

“I thought you were busy?”

 

Kibum winces, shakes his head slowly before turning to Taemin - who looks interested - and asking for a double chocolate chip frappucino. Taemin looks disappointed, as he has to move away from the gossip to make Kibum’s drink, and Kibum turns back to Jonghyun, speaking quickly, quietly. “What happened last night-”

 

“It was nothing,” Jonghyun interrupts, “nothing. Just...impulse.”

 

Kibum feels...almost disappointed? “It’s only because...if it were Taemin, I would think nothing of it. We’ve known each other for years, but me and you have known each other for four days, and I just-”

 

“Here’s your drink, Kibum.” Taemin looks even more interested, and he opens his mouth again, “what happened last-”

 

“You have another customer,” Jonghyun interjects, grinning (it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, not like his usual smiles do), “go do your job.”

 

“Okay, Jonghyunnie,” Taemin says it pointedly before seeing to the couple at the counter. He nudges Jongin as he passes the register, whispers something in his ear and Jongin’s mouth drops a little before he smooths his face over to a neutral expression.

 

“So,” Taemin and Jongin crowd Jonghyun and Kibum when the customers leave the shop, “what happened last night?”

 

Jonghyun giggles and looks shyly over at Kibum, which does absolutely nothing to help their situation, and Kibum hides his grin with his fist as before he speaks. “None of your business.”

 

“Something definitely happened then, and you’re not leaving until you tell us.” Taemin brandishes a straw and points it between them, “you don’t wanna know what I can do with this straw.”

 

“Trust me,” Jongin looks slightly sick but he’s laughing, “you don’t want to know.”

 

Kibum stands then, grips Jonghyun’s hand in his (it’s just as soft and warm as he had imagined it would be) and pulls him to stand as well, “I would tell you, but me and Jonghyun had prior engagements, so unfortunately, we have to go.”

 

Neither Taemin nor Jongin stop them, and Kibum can practically see their twin cheshire grins when he pulls Jonghyun out the coffeeshop.

 

“What engagements?” Jonghyun sounds confused, but Kibum doesn’t look at him, only slows their pace when they’ve rounded the corner. There, he drops their hands (doesn’t let go, and Jonghyun doesn’t either, and it’s making him dizzy) and turns to Jonghyun.

 

“Ice cream, remember?”

 

Jonghyun brightens considerably and nods, then his face falls abruptly and he worries his lower lip with his teeth. “I didn’t bring any money though…”

 

“It’s fine, I’ll pay. Don’t worry about it.”

 

“But-”

 

“Really, don’t. You don’t have to pay back or anything, it’s on me.”

 

“So...like a date?”

 

Kibum opens his mouth to refute Jonghyun’s statement, then closes it and tugs on his hand to start up a brisk pace again. “Yeah, like a date.”

 

They end up at the ice cream shop and Jonghyun hangs back, but Kibum squeezes his hand and grins down at him. “Don’t worry, order something.”

 

“Um...one scoop of strawberry ice cream, in a cone.”

 

“Make that two scoops,” Kibum interjects, “and two scoops of cookie dough in a cone. Thanks.” he pays without looking at Jonghyun, but he can feelJonghyun’s angered pout as he does so.

 

“Why’d you do that, one was fine!”

 

“You’re too cute to just get one scoop, Jonghyunnie. If this is a date, I’m not skimping out.”

 

Jonghyun flushes pink and nods furiously, accepts his ice cream with a soft smile at the girl that hands it out to him. She’s pretty, gorgeous even but Kibum’s eyes involuntarily fall to Jonghyun, traces over the plush curve of his lips, the way his tongue flicks out to at his ice cream before his lips attach themselves more firmly to . His eyes fall to the bob of his Adam’s apple, then back up to sharp cheekbones that are hollowed from the movements, the way his eyes are on him and-

 

“Is there something on my face?” Jonghyun asks, soft.

 

Kibum takes his own cone and focuses on that, the cold of the ice cream that he can feel from through the cone. “No, nothing. Sorry. Do you want to go somewhere?”

 

“Your house?”

 

Kibum nods, places one hand around the curve of Jonghyun’s slim hips to steer him out the store. There’s no one really out on the streets, but Kibum keeps his hand around Jonghyun’s hips just because he likes the feeling, and Jonghyun does too, if the soft smile on his lips means anything.

 

By the time they reach Kibum’s house, their ice cream is gone, and Kibum unlocks the door, directs Jonghyun upstairs to his room.

 

“I like your room, it’s really pretty.”

 

Kibum shrugs, looks around and takes back his cone. It’s not much bigger than Jonghyun’s but it feels like it is, strategically placed minimalist furniture scatters throughout the room and it’s painted an airy sky blue, his own artworks are on the walls and there’s a window that is open, no blinds, letting in the sun.

 

“It’s nothing special.”

 

“Is this your art?”

 

“Yeah, and my sketchbook is on the desk.”

 

Jonghyun’s mouth falls open and he nods, meanders over to the desk and flips open the sketchbook. “These are really-” he stills and Kibum frowns, opens his mouth and then remembers the full pages of sketches of just Jonghyun, remembers all the intricate details of his lips, his fingers, his laugh, his eyes.

 

“You drew me a lot,” Jonghyun’s voice is quiet and when he turns around, his expression is practically unreadable.

 

“Yeah, you’re....very aesthetically pleasing. To look at. I like drawing you.”

 

“So...you think I’m cute.”

 

To avoid the expression on Jonghyun’s face, Kibum goes over to sit on the edge of his bed, plays with the hem of his shirt as he finally glances up, sees that Jonghyun had come closer, worrying his lip between his teeth. 

The butterflies in his stomach are threatening to come up through his throat and Kibum swallows them down to say, “Yeah, I think you’re cute.”

 

Jonghyun is even closer now, sits down next to Kibum and when he looks over, Jonghyun’s eyes are on his lips and his hand is on Kibum’s cheek. It’s trembling and Kibum finds that inexplicably cute, wants to cover Jonghyun’s hand with his own but he can’t move, not even to pull Jonghyun closer. Jonghyun is leaning in then and Kibum’s breaths stutter to a stop as he feels Jonghyun’s warm breath on his lips, but then Jonghyun stops and so does he and it’s quiet, completely silent and nothing’s moving except for the trembling of Jonghyun’s hand and Kibum’s heart is pounding so loud he thinks Jonghyun would be able to hear it too but he must not because his eyes are shut and Kibum can only see those slightly parted pink lips, wants to feel them against his own but now Jonghyun’s hand is falling from his cheek and he’s moving away, flushed red.

 

“I’m sorry,” he doesn’t sound sorry, but his voice is quiet and unsteady, “I should go.”

 

Kibum doesn’t move, and Jonghyun stands, but when he reaches the door, Kibum moves. “Wait, wait. I’m sorry. Just, stay. Please?”

 

Jonghyun looks back, biting his lip and when Kibum beckons again, he slowly comes back and gingerly sits next to Kibum again. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” quiet then, “do you want to watch a movie?”

 

Jonghyun nods slowly and Kibum slips out of bed to get his laptop from the desk. When he turns around, Jonghyun has made his way to the head of the bed and is curled up in a loose fetal position, and they watch X-Men curled up together on Kibum’s bed. Midway through the movie, Jonghyun’s fingertips brush Kibum’s and they’re trembling, and after they pull away, Kibum chases them. His own fingers shake as he twines their fingers together, brushes his thumb across Jonghyun’s knuckles. Kibum’s seen the movie a thousand times and while Jonghyun is focused on the screen in front of them, Kibum’s eyes stay on Jonghyun’s face, his lips.

 

All he can wonder is would Jonghyun’s lips have tasted of the strawberry ice cream he’d had before, where would they be now had he moved just an inch further to close that gap.

 

Jonghyun doesn’t end up leaving until late and he’s reluctant to go even though he can’t even look Kibum in the eye.

 

“I should go…” he mumbles, doesn’t move and Kibum doesn’t stop the steady of his thumb, holds Jonghyun’s hand even tighter.

 

“You should.” Kibum’s voice is just as quiet, he doesn’t trust himself to speak above a whisper.

 

Jonghyun looks up at him but when he sees that Kibum is staring back down at him, he averts his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.”

 

“I should go.”

 

“...Yeah.”

 

He does eventually leave; Kibum watches him from the front step until Jonghyun rounds the corner and only then does he realize what had justhappened, what could’ve happened, what didn’t happen. His legs buckle and Kibum traces the shape of his lips, remembers how close Jonghyun had been, how his hand had felt on his cheek, how much he wanted to be kissed in that moment.

 

Kibum thinks that if Jonghyun had stayed that close to his lips for just one more moment, Kibum would have worked up the nerve to kiss him.

 

(And that scares him, just a little bit. The rest of him just wants Jonghyun back, wants to redo that moment again, wants to feel Jonghyun’s lips against his.)

 

 

To Jonghyun: did you get home safe?

 

From Jonghyun: yeah...im still sorry about earlier..

 

To Jonghyun: dont be

 

To Jonghyun: i think…

 

To Jonghyun: nvm

 

To Jonghyun: im fine with what happened, though

 

From Jonghyun: oh

 

It’s Friday and Kibum meets Jongin and Taemin at the studio close to 8am; the three of them fly through their series of stretches and then Taemin says that he wants to work on his solo - he retreats to the far right of the room, puts his headphones on and begins to dance. His movements are sharp andsensual, and it’s such a contrast from how lazy Taemin usually is. Jongin is watching Taemin as well, but he turns back to Kibum with a little grin and stands as well, holds out a hand for Kibum to take.

 

“I’ve got some choreography that I want to finish, you okay with dancing solo?”

 

“Of course.” Kibum takes out his phone and headphones, slips them over his ears and takes the center of the room facing the mirrors. He ignores both Jongin and Taemin, focuses on himself and the music and lets everything else fade to the background as the song begins to start.

 

Taemin ends up dancing his solo over and over again, regressing into doing the same part over and over again until he’s satisfied with his results and collapses on the floor, sweating and grinning.

 

“That was really good,” Jongin calls over.

 

Taemin shrugs, stands and makes his way over to the two of them, accepting Jongin’s offered water bottle. “Not good enough.”

 

“It never is, with you. Greedy.”

 

“It was perfect, Taeminnie. But your back hurts, doesn’t it?”

 

Taemin hesitates, nods and Kibum sighs. “I told you to be careful with that, didn’t I? Here, sit. I’ll give you a massage just this once.”

 

Taemin grins over at Jongin, whose mouth has dropped in feigned anger. “You never give me massages!”

 

“I’ll give you one too, then.”

 

“You’re awfully generous.” Taemin’s words fade into a low groan as Kibum reaches a particularly large knot on his back and begins to knead into it.

 

“I’m always this kind, Taemin.”

 

“You’ve been this kind since you met Jonghyun, you mean.”

 

“He has nothing to do with this.”

 

“I think you like him, Kibum.” Jongin is serious and when Taemin twists his head around to nod, he is too.

 

“I think…” Kibum chooses his words carefully, averts his gaze as he thinks, “that you’re right.”

 

“He likes you too, you know.” Taemin’s quiet and when Kibum snorts, Taemin continues, “no, really! He told me so. Or, he hinted at it. But he does like you, it’s obvious.”

 

Kibum thinks back to all the soft smiles, the hand holding, their almost kiss, and he thinks that maybe Taemin is right.

 

“When did you two talk?”

 

“Before you came to the shop yesterday. He’s pan and he gets crushes really easily, but he really likes you.”

 

“Even I could see that,” Jongin sounds offended, but Kibum thinks that’s only because he was kept out of the loop, “the way he looks at you...he adores you.”

 

“We only met on Monday-”

 

“So? Remember when me and Jongin met? We’ve been inseparable from the beginning.”

 

“Being inseparable as friends is a lot different from dating after just a week.”

 

“Then don’t date yet. Just...get to know him. He likes you, you like him. Talk about it at least.”

 

“We almost kissed yesterday,” Kibum blurts out, “and he kissed my cheek that night when I walked him home. He asked where his goodnight kiss was, and then he said he was kidding, and then he kissed my cheek and told me good night.”

 

“How did you meet?”

 

“That singer on Monday...I saw his voice and I followed it and then you pulled me away,” Kibum points to Jongin, “and on Tuesday night after you left, I saw him by the playground. We talked and then he fell asleep in my lap. The next day I went to his house and we watched a movie together. That’s all, really.”

 

“And after you left yesterday?”

 

“We got ice cream-”

 

“Who paid?”

 

“Me. He didn’t have any money, and I did, so.”

 

“Is he going to pay you back?”

 

“No-”

 

“So,” Jongin starts, “he falls asleep in your lap the first time you spoke, on Tuesday. You watch a movie the next day and give him your number, and that same night he kisses your cheek goodnight. The next day you buy him ice cream and go to his house and almost kiss, and now you’re here. You both like each other, but neither of you will make a move. Correct?”

 

“Correct.”

 

“I’d say go for it then,” Jongin shrugs, leans back, “I doubt he’d say no if you asked him out.”

 

“He still doesn’t know about my synesthesia. What if-”

 

“He wouldn’t, Kibum. Trust us.” Jongin looks to Taemin for confirmation, but the latter looks thoughtful. When Jongin nudges him, Taemin starts and nods.

 

“Sorry, I was thinking. Jonghyun won’t hate you or be disgusted or anything. Trust us.”

 

Kibum just nods, and shrugs. “Can we dance, then?”

 

Jongin and Taemin exchange unreadable glances then, and Kibum turns away and stands just so he doesn’t have to look at them anymore.

 

It’s evening before they know it and they’re all covered in sweat; Kibum’s clipped his bangs back and Jongin’s tied his hair into a tiny ponytail that bounces with each movement, and Taemin’s bangs are pushed back but fall into his eyes each time he makes too sharp of a move. “Wanna get dinner or something?” Jongin barely manages to mumble the words from where he’s laying down, cheek pressed to the floor.

 

Kibum checks his phone while Taemin moans out something unintelligible, slipping down into a split to stretch again. There’s been 10 missed calls and almost 30 texts, and they’re all from Jonghyun. The gist is that he’d been bored and lonely and wanted to see Kibum all morning, that he was so so sorry for yesterday and was Kibum okay or just ignoring him? The last one though, stuck out because all it read was omw to your house pls be ok. The message is three minutes old and Kibum’s hands tremble without his permission.

 

“, I have to call Jonghyun.” Kibum forces his legs to cooperate and he fumbles with his phone to call Jonghyun. He picks up on the second ring, worry evident in his voice.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“I’m at the dance studio. I’m sorry, it’s just a thing I have with Taemin and Jongin, we do this every week and I’m sorry I couldn’t message you I just-” (he doesn’t know why he’s explaining himself, it’s not like they’re dating or anything-)

 

“Come home, please. I just need to know you’re okay.”

 

“I don’t...I don’t want to see you now.”

 

Silence, and before Kibum can open his mouth to explain, Jonghyun speaks, voice quiet and calm. “Okay. You don’t have to anymore.” and then he hangs up.

 

Kibum stares at his phone for a long moment, glances over to find Jongin and Taemin staring at him with wide, troubled eyes.

 

“I ed up, didn’t I?”

 

They both nod.

 

Kibum ends up not speaking to Jonghyun for a whole two weeks; it’s...weird not receiving daily cheerful messages from him, not seeing his blonde hair and bright grin. It’s weird seeing Taemin and Jongin so quiet, so subdued, and it’s weird that Kibum’s grown so dependent on Jonghyun. He’d picked up his phone without thinking so many times, ready to message Jonghyun to ask if he wanted to hang out - before remembering that apparently, they weren’t talking. It hurt, it hurt so much for someone he’d only spoken to for a week. Kibum thought that the hardest part of their separation was Taemin and Jongin: the two were walking on eggshells now, were quiet and serious and traded furtive glances with each other when they thought Kibum wasn’t looking. July is almost over, Kibum realizes as he closes his sketchbook, July is almost over and he’s spent half of it cooped up in his room, drawing to avoid the crowds.

 

 

From Tae: u wanna come over after we close?

 

To Tae: sure. Ill meet u at the shop

 

Kibum sighs, stands and cracks his back before deciding to take a shower and pick out an outfit. It’s a whim, but when he passes the mirror, Kibum decides that he’s going to dye his hair.

 

Hours later when his hair is dyed and styled and he’s picked out an outfit to wear (he doesn’t know where they’re going so he just pairs dark jeans with a gray t-shirt under a leather jacket. It’s simple but still stylish and Kibum quite likes the contrast of his lighter hair and dark clothes.) He’s at the coffeeshop just as Taemin and Jongin come out and then, and then, Jonghyun rounds the corner.

 

He stops short when he sees Kibum, eyes going wide with shock. “Your hair.”

 

Kibum touches the lavender strands self consciously, lips tilting down into a frown. “Is it bad?”

 

“No, no. You look really good.”

 

Kibum allows a soft smile at that, ignores Taemin and Jongin’s grins to nod at Jonghyun. “Thank you. I could dye yours if you want.”

 

He’s startled at how easy it is to fall back into their old routine, he’s startled and more than that, he’s happy.

 

“I missed you,” Jonghyun blurts out suddenly, looks startled as Kibum feels.

 

“I don’t-”

 

“Long story short, you both like each other. Date.”

 

“We barely know each other,” Kibum ignores Taemin’s outburst and speaks to Jonghyun, who looks like he hadn’t heard at all, like he and Kibum are the only two people in the universe.

 

“Then let’s get to know each other. Only if you want to though. Because I definitely do.”

 

Kibum nods without missing a beat.

 

“Then, we’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. Have fun, yeah?” Jongin takes Taemin’s hand in his to tug him away, and Kibum doesn’t miss the victorious grin they share as they pass him.

 

To Tae: thanks

 

Taemin doesn’t answer the text, but he does look back and smile, a genuine, happy smile. It makes Kibum smile too, and when Kibum looks over at Jonghyun, he’s smiling too.

 

“So…” Jonghyun asks, hesitant, “what do you want to do?”

 

Kibum shrugs, checks his phone: it’s nearing 11pm. “Stores are probably closing...I doubt there’d be any place to go to.”

 

“Do you want to come over then?” Jonghyun’s eyes are wide and Kibum doesn’t know if he’s pouting on purpose, if he even realizes that he’s pouting.

 

“Yeah, I’ll come over. Lead the way.”

 

While they walk, Jonghyun’s fingers brush against his, once and then again, and on the third gentle bump, Kibum catches them and holds his hand tight. (It’s just as warm and soft as it had been last time)

 

Jonghyun is reluctant to even let go of Kibum’s hand when they get to the front door, fumbles for the key in his pocket and unlocks the door while still holding Kibum’s hand. They both clamber up the stairs and fall onto Jonghyun’s bed and Kibum inhales deep because his room even smells like him. Jonghyun gasps then and sits up quickly, goes over to the lights and grins at Kibum.

 

“Look what I got.” and then he turns out the lights and the whole room is lit up from stars that have been stuck onto the walls and ceiling. Jonghyun flops back on the bed next to Kibum and in the dim lighting, all Kibum can see is the flash of his eyes and teeth when he smiles wide.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Kibum breathes out, because it is. It looks like they’re the only two in the universe, the universe full of stars.

 

“I missed you,” Jonghyun breathes out, and suddenly Kibum’s pulse is racing. He rolls over and sees Jonghyun looking right at him and Kibum doesn’t know who moves first but they’re kissing now, Jonghyun’s lips are soft and chapped just a little, plush and pliant against Kibum’s own. Jonghyun’s hand is trembling when it comes up to caress his cheek and at the first brush of Kibum’s tongue against the curve of Jonghyun’s lower lip, he gasps and when Kibum’s hand falls to rest on Jonghyun’s waist, a shudder rips through his body.

 

It’s Kibum that pulls away first and Jonghyun chases his lips without hesitation. Another moment and then Jonghyun is clambering on top of Kibum, whose arms come up to hold him by the waist as Jonghyun bends down again from his position of straddling Kibum. Jonghyun hesitates before kissing Kibum again, breathing out a quiet, “Is this okay?”

 

Kibum’s response is to drag Jonghyun down again, marveling at the softness of his lips. Kibum the plush curve of Jonghyun’s lower lip into his mouth just to hear his quiet gasp and then a noise that isn’t quite a moan leaves his lips. It makes them both still and Kibum’s hands rise to card through Jonghyun’s soft hair, scratching gently at his scalp and it makes Jonghyun shudder, makes him kiss Kibum again and again and again. Kibum feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest and he wonders if Jonghyun can hear it, if Jonghyun is feeling what he is.

 

“Why do you think we met? I like to think it was fate,” Jonghyun’s voice is breathy and he abruptly collapses on the bed next to Kibum, fumbling for his hand again.

 

“Fate? What a writer.”

 

Jonghyun’s laugh stutters to a stop when Kibum rolls over to face him. “You’re beautiful.”

 

“And you’re honest.”

 

Another laugh that Jonghyun presses into the curve of Kibum’s neck. He’s still smiling and Kibum pulls him closer, tries not to laugh as well. There are so many emotions bubbling up inside him and they’re all threatening to spill out but- Kibum takes a breath to calm himself.

 

“Jonghyun, what are we?”

 

“Do you believe in fate?” Jonghyun asks instead, “I think...some things were meant to happen. All of this...there’s so much that it can’t be a coincidence. You could’ve gone straight past me that first night, or gone home the second. I don’t even know why I went to that old playground that night I met you, or why I looked up and saw you. You think that’s all coincidence? I want to get to know you, Kibum. I really...I like you a lot.”

 

“I saw your voice.”

 

“What?”

 

“I - do you know what synesthesia is?”

 

“Seeing people’s voices.”

 

“There’s a lot of different kinds, not just chromesthesia. That’s voice-color synesthesia, what I have. I saw your voice when you were performing, that day we met.”

 

“What does my voice look like?”

 

“Your singing voice is gray, and your speaking voice is brown. When you sing, it reminds me of the the fog above the sea at dawn, or the haze of the clouds when it snows. And your speaking voice is dark brown with red overtones...it’s like the fall. Fresh fallen leaves and the the wood of trees at dusk. It reminds me of the fall.”

 

Jonghyun is quiet for a long moment before he hums, murmurs, “So, there are voices that look like autumn sunlight too. I think...that would be very romantic.”

 

“It’s not just that though. It’s hard, going out into crowds and seeing all these colors along with all the people. Sometimes someone will talk to me and I can’t focus because my attention falls to their voice, how what they’re saying is around their heads and it is beautiful, but it’s so, so hard. And then, synesthesia is different for everyone. We all see different colors, we all have different interpretations. Or some colors and voices remind me of sad memories and when I hear a song or see something with that color, I can’t help visualizing it all again.”

 

“,” Jonghyun breathes out, presses a kiss to Kibum’s knuckles, “I’m really sorry, I’ve just never met anyone with synesthesia. I should’ve been more sensitive. Taemin just said...no, never mind. Can you tell me more about it?”

 

“What did Taemin say?”

 

“He just told me you have synesthesia, that’s all! I swear!”

 

“Hm. He’s done...more than enough good though, so I won’t do anything to him.”

 

“Can you tell me more about synesthesia, then?”

 

Kibum shrugs, “What do you want to know?”

 

“Everything. I want to know everything about you.”

 

“Well...there’s projectors and associators. Projectors see colors physically and associators just get impressions of colors.”

 

“So you’re a projector.”

 

“Yeah. People can have more than one kind of synesthesia...I only have chromesthesia, but my friend Nicole has lexical-gustatory synesthesia-”

 

“That’s...words and taste?”

 

“Yeah. They said that...they like girls, but they don’t like using the word lesbian because the sound ‘lez’ has a high, sour taste. They also have auditory-tactile, and they told me that some songs hurt, or make it hard to breathe. It’s not completely romantic, Jonghyunnie.”

 

Jonghyun winces, but nods slowly. “What else is there?”

 

“Well...certain loud noises darken whatever color I hear. If sounds change, the colors move and change too...it’s different hearing music in person and on a radio or phone. Voices don’t linger for long and they’re not stagnant. I personally prefer songs to not end suddenly, because the colors stop too. Or sometimes I like listening to a beat over and over because of how the colors look.”

 

“What about voices and instruments? Do they look the same?”

 

“Drums have different waves and colors, so do violins, and voices. They’re all different. Fewer voices are simpler than...going to a concert. Sometimes it’s hard to get a clear visual, and the color doesn’t come to me until I think about it. And some colors are more metallic than others.”

 

“When did you realize you had it?”

 

“I think...I always had it, I just didn’t realize what it was. I thought that it was normal and that everyone had it, but when no one knew what I was talking about when I said how pretty someone’s voice is, I realized that it wasn’t something I should share with everyone. It kind of...developed as I got older though. The colors, the recognition.”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Kibum pauses here, speaks slowly. “It’s not...it’s complicated. Some people aren’t happy with how their synesthesia, or they want to see somethingdifferent. Nicole, I know, envies my chromesthesia because of how much simpler they think it is. Sometimes I don’t like it, because I don’t know what to do with it, but I also don’t want it to be a huge part of my life, because it...it could swallow me. It’s just another part of me...I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.”

 

Jonghyun is quiet for a few moments, and then abruptly, he speaks again. “My insomnia...I don’t remember when it really started. My mom thinks it’s due to stress, and I kind of agree that that could be one of the reasons? She wanted me to go to college and study business, be the traditional success, but I wanted to pursue music. And I knew that going to a traditional college would hinder me more than help me with that, so we fought a lot over that. That’s when I noticed my insomnia more. But I don’t hate it, because I get to see a side of the world that no one else does, when it’s quiet and still and there’s no one else around. I get to stay up and do what I love while everyone is dreaming the hours away. I think I’ve written most of my music at night, watching the stillness of the world. I’ll even forget to eat sometimes, if I’m focused. I can’t focus on more than one thing when I’m writing, I don’t even register people talking to me sometimes.”

 

“And would you give it up?”

 

Jonghyun thinks for a long moment, then shakes his head. “It’s a part of me. Like your synesthesia.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Jonghyun is quiet, then he kisses the curve of Kibum’s neck. “What’s your favorite color?”

 

“What?”

 

“Remember you said how we don’t really know each other? Let’s get to know each other. So what’s your favorite color?”

 

“I like...the color of Taemin’s voice. I like your singing voice, too.”

 

“What’s Taemin’s voice look like, and Jongin’s?”

 

“It’s my turn, isn’t it? Why did you start writing music?”

 

“I always...I get these words in my head. Lyrics, sentences. I could just write if I wanted, but I’ve always liked music. I like putting my thoughts to paper, and I like putting those thoughts to music. What do Taemin and Jongin’s voices look like?”

 

“Taemin’s voice is blue, like the sky. It reminds me of early summer mornings waking up next to the person you love. Jongin’s is warm brown and it reminds me of caramel and honey and the pattern of sunlight on the grass.”

 

“You could be a writer, Kibummie, if you wanted. The way you describe things...it’s beautiful.”

 

Kibum snorts, heart pounding suddenly. “Why do you like me?”

 

Jonghyun lets out a startled laugh before answering. “I get crushes really easily. I like cute people. I like you because you’re gorgeous. You’re funny and you’re striking and you’re honest and headstrong and I just like you. I don’t want to say I like you because you’re different, but you’re unique and I want to know every facet of you. I like you because of how familiar you are, that I could fall asleep in your lap the first time I saw you and that I could tell you that I have insomnia that same night. Being with you is so natural and I love that, I love how easy it is with you. I just like you.”

 

Quiet.

 

“What are you afraid of?”

 

“I’m not afraid of crowds, but I don’t like them. I think...thunderstorms. I don’t know why, but they’ve always just scared me. I hate being alone during thunderstorms. Will you ever play for me?”

 

Jonghyun shrugs a little, nods. “I’d play the day away, if you wanted. Can...I kiss you?”

 

“Yes,” Kibum whispers, and there are no more words for a while.

 

Kibum starts awake and stills when he feels the heavy arm around his waist, inhales and smells Jonghyun and relaxes. He’s at Jonghyun’s, they’d talked and they’d kissed, they’d kissed a lot and he guesses they’d fallen asleep. He wants to move, to get up and go home, but he remembers Jonghyun’s insomnia, so he settles back into Jonghyun’s warmth and tries to fall asleep.

 

“Kibum?” Jonghyun’s voice is rough from sleep and Kibum bites his lip.

 

“I should go-”

 

“Stay here,” Jonghyun insists, holds onto him just a little bit tighter, and that’s all the convincing Kibum needs.

 

The next time he wakes, it’s early morning and Jonghyun is still asleep. Kibum manages to roll over so he’s facing Jonghyun, studies his sleeping face because he can’t fall back asleep. His lashes are long and there are noticeable dark circles under his eyes. His lips are chapped, still plush as ever and Kibum wants to kiss them, just to see if they’re as soft as they look, as soft as he remembers. As if Jonghyun can feel Kibum staring, his closed eyelids flutter in his sleep like he’s looking around, and Kibum shuts his own eyes after draping his arm around Jonghyun’s waist.

 

Jonghyun is staring right back at him the next time Kibum wakes; his fingers are tracing idle patterns on the skin of Kibum’s hip and there’s a soft smile on his lips. “So this is what it’s like waking up next to someone,” he murmurs, “I like it.”

 

“Shut up,” Kibum’s smiling though and when he checks his phone, he’s surprised to see that it’s almost 2pm, “have you been up long?”

 

Jonghyun shrugs. “I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep. I slept well though, did you?”

 

The smile still on Jonghyun’s lips is making it hard to think, and Kibum kisses the grin away before answering. “I slept well. I’m sorry for intruding-”

 

“You didn’t! I told you to stay anyway, don’t worry. I don’t regret it, any of it.”

 

There’s something about Jonghyun now that’s making Kibum feel unusually flustered. “Stop looking at me like that,” he mumbles, flushing red when Jonghyun twines their fingers together.

 

“Stop looking at you like what?”

 

Kibum shakes his head and buries his face in Jonghyun’s pillow. Anything to keep Jonghyun from looking at him like that, with that lovestruck look in his eye. “Am I allowed to leave, or are you keeping me here for the whole day?”

 

Jonghyun’s grin has turned wicked when Kibum peeps out from the pillow. “Don’t give me any ideas, Kibummie.” and Kibum knows it was supposed to be just a joke, but the look on his face makes Kibum feel excited and nervous all at once.

 

“Or what?” he’s breathless when he says it, as if he’s just danced a solo or ran a mile.

 

In response, Jonghyun just leans down and kisses him.

Just when Kibum brings his arms up to wrap around Jonghyun’s neck, his phone begins to vibrate furiously from between them and they both jump.

 

It’s just Taemin calling, and Kibum puts him on speaker. In the background, they can hear the tv going and muffled curses, and Kibum can only assume that Taemin is playing video games with Jongin.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“You’re the one that called me, Taeminnie.”

 

“Oh. Yeah, I stopped by your place and you weren’t there, so I went to Jongin’s, but he’s not paying attention to me. Where were you?”

 

“Asleep.”

 

“No you weren’t, you weren’t in your room-”

 

“How did you-”

 

“You’ve kept your spare key in the same place for years, Kibum.”  Taemin sounds very unimpressed and Kibum rolls his eyes as he hears Jongin chortling in the background.

 

“Hi Taemin,” Jonghyun chirps accordingly and immediately, the sounds of the tv stops.

 

“Jonghyun?” Taemin sounds amused and almost scandalized, “what are you doing with Kibum?”

 

“There’s no way...please tell me you two used protection.”

 

“They went so fast,” Taemin says (likely to Jongin), “it’s been three weeks and already they’re that intimate.”

 

“We didn’t do anything!” Kibum rolls his eyes at Jonghyun, who stifles his laugh with his fist.

 

“We did kiss though.”

 

Silence from over the phone and then there’s an explosion of sound; Kibum thinks Taemin has dropped his phone or maybe Jongin has slapped it out of his hand but either way, they’re both speaking over each other between fits of laughter.

 

“You kissed? And you slept at his house?”

 

“Are you two dating then?” It’s Jongin that asks it, and Jonghyun and Kibum both fall silent. Kibum’s grin falls from his lips as he sees the intent, searching look in Jonghyun’s eyes.

 

“Well?”

 

“If he would have me, then yes.”

 

Kibum’s breath stutters to a stop and Jonghyun won’t stop looking at him. And he wants to speak, wants to kiss Jonghyun’s parted lips, wants-

 

“Ooh, that’s a no then.” Taemin sounds happy, “Jongin, you owe me dinner for a week!”

 

“I never said no,” Kibum breathes out, and before Jonghyun’s hopes get up, “and I never said yes either.”

 

“You should say ye-” Jongin’s suggestion is smothered by what Kibum assumes is Taemin’s hand, but he doesn’t pay attention to that. He can’t, not with the way Jonghyun is looking at him.

 

“Taemin, we’ll call you back, okay?” We. It slips out without Kibum’s permission, but Jonghyun doesn’t seem to notice, and if he has, he doesn’t mind. Kibum hangs up the phone and lets it slip from his hand, regards Jonghyun with a steady look.

 

“You never did answer.”

 

“You never asked me.”

 

Jonghyun’s mouth drops a little in surprise and he shakes his head a little, a frown marring his expression. “You would have said yes if you wanted it...right?”

 

“I just need...time. I don’t want to rush into anything too quickly. That’s all.”

 

The growling of Jonghyun’s stomach cuts into the silence and it’s something that startles them. “I have like...no food, so if you’re hungry-”

 

“Come over,” Kibum says it on a whim and Jonghyun’s eyes widen as he begins to shake his head, “really. I can’t just impose on you like this and not do anything for you in return. Besides, I like cooking.”

 

Jonghyun just looks at him for a long moment, then mumbles, “I really want to kiss you again.”

 

“You don’t have to ask every time, Jonghyun,” Kibum inches closer and cards a hand through Jonghyun’s hair, “it’s okay. I’m okay with it, completely.”

 

“I’ll ask anyway. Until - if - you accept me. It wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t.”

 

Kibum sighs and nods, looping his arms around Jonghyun’s neck. “Yes, you can kiss me.”

 

So Jonghyun does.

 

By the time they manage to get up, Kibum’s lips are tingling and he doesn’t quite mind. He’s memorized the shape of Jonghyun’s lips, the softness and the way he smiles against Kibum’s lips. He’s pulled dozens of soft noises from Jonghyun’s lips - little huffs of laughter between kisses, gasps and stifled moans, whimpers and barely there keening noises. Jonghyun’s weight is familiar and comfortable and Kibum misses the warmth when Jonghyun finally, finally rolls off of him and out of bed.

 

“We should get going...it’s getting late.”

 

Kibum sits up and looks out the window, surprised to see the sun low in the sky. “We really...just made out for-” he checks his phone, 8:09pm, “five hours.”

 

“Roughly,” Jonghyun looks like he wants to kiss Kibum again, but he doesn’t, and Kibum doesn’t know how he feels about that. He runs a finger across the swollen curve of his lower lip, soft smile on his lips; allows Jonghyun to pull him up and hold him tight, “I missed you so much, Kibum.”

 

“I missed you too, Jonghyunnie. So, so much.”

 

Their hands are interlocked as they walk home, swinging between them as Kibum holds up his phone. Taemin is on speaker and he’s adding Jongin to the call; they decide to all meet at Kibum’s house for dinner. Taemin’s waiting outside when Kibum and Jonghyun get there; his eyes are on their hands but he doesn’t say anything, just wraps an arm around Jonghyun’s shoulders to whisper in his ear.

 

“Jongin says he’s going to the store to get ice cream and he’ll be right over. What are we having, mom?” Taemin slides right onto the stool at the counter and pats the one beside him for Jonghyun to sit.

 

“I don’t know yet, what do you want?”

 

“Meat!”

 

Kibum sighs, turns to Taemin and points at his phone. “Tell Jongin to wait at the store. If you want meat, we need to go get groceries.”

 

They meet at the store and figure out what they’re going to eat, split up into pairs - Jongin and Kibum, Taemin and Jonghyun. And an hour or so later, they’re back in Kibum’s kitchen. Jonghyun has taken over making the kimbap and the rice, Kibum is doing the bulgogi because Kibum does not trust either Jongin or Taemin with scissors and a grill, Jongin is doing the nakji bokum and Taemin is left with the japchae. It’s warm and homely in the kitchen and Kibum loves it - even if it gets messy too easily - and having his closest friends making dinner with him was something he didn’t think he’d enjoy so much. They quickly realize that they don’t have enough drinks for all of them, so Taemin and Jongin volunteer to go out to buy soda while they wait for everything to finish up in the oven.

 

“It’s so warm in here,” Jonghyun murmurs, “like we’re family.”

 

“God, don’t let them hear you say that. Taemin’s already been calling me his mother for years.”

 

Jonghyun stifles his giggle with his fist and Kibum can’t find it in himself to be annoyed. “Why?”

 

“We first met when he was really young...he was fourteen and I was sixteen. He was such a good dancer, and so young, so I just felt like I needed to protect him...and I know he understands now, but then he just thought I was nagging too much, so he called me his mom. Jongin and Taemin didn’t meet until a few years later, when they were paired up for stretching, but they were inseparable ever since.”

 

“That sounds nice,” there’s a soft little grin on Jonghyun’s lips and Kibum goes over to him, twines their fingers together on impulse.

 

“It is. It’s better now though.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You’re here.”

 

Jonghyun’s mouth drops and then he smiles and leans over to kiss Kibum gently, just the corner of his mouth. It’s strangely intimate - the chaste kiss in the middle of the kitchen with food steadily simmering in the background. It makes Kibum’s chest ache, makes him want Jonghyun to stay for as long as…

 

“I want you here.”

 

“I am here,” Jonghyun looks confused, and Kibum squeezes his hand tightly, shakes his head.

 

“I want you here for as long as you want to stay.”

 

Kibum can literally see the realization come over Jonghyun’s features and instead of reaching out for Kibum or maybe saying something, Jonghyun goesstill. His eyes are wide and his mouth is open just a little, and there’s a tiny, surprised grin on his lips.

 

“Is that…”

 

“My yes. It’s my yes, Jonghyunnie.”

 

As soon as Kibum breaks the silence, Jonghyun reaches out to fling his arms around Kibum’s neck, pressing kiss after kiss to Kibum’s lips. “I’m happy,” he whispers, “I’m so, so happy.”

 

“And why is that?” Taemin breaks the silence and neither Jonghyun nor Kibum move from their embrace. Kibum’s hands fall to hold Jonghyun by his slim waist and he doesn’t know who moves first really, but they’re kissing again, to the sounds of Jongin and Taemin’s exaggerated (fake) retching.

 

“Disgusting.”

 

“Gross,” Taemin agrees, and Kibum rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t care, because he feels Jonghyun’s grin press against his lips. And somehow, that makes everything okay.

 

“So you’re dating then?” Jongin asks, and Taemin frowns.

 

“Of course they’re dating, look at them. They were practically meant for each other.”

 

Kibum remembers then, what Jonghyun had said just after they’d kissed for the first time. Why do you think we met? I like to think it was fate.

 

Jonghyun looks over at him and his grin is so wide it could practically split his face. “I think so too.”

 

Taemin coughs pointedly, and when they’re all looking at him, he folds his arms and says, “I think I’m hungry. Food, mom.”

 

Jonghyun and Jongin both get bowls of rice from the rice cooker for the four of them while Taemin gets silverware and cups for them and Kibum starts to bring out the food. They end up crowded around the table - Taemin is to Kibum’s left and Jonghyun is across from him, Jongin next to Jonghyun’s right - and it feels so homely and warm. They all dig into the food without formalities and honestly, Kibum doesn’t mind, because they’re like his family. Midway through their meal, Jonghyun’s foot finds Kibum’s and even as he’s innocently chewing his kimbap, his foot is tracing up the length of Kibum’s leg.

 

Kibum is almost disgusted at how someone that looks so innocent could be so devilish at the same time. And just as he opens his mouth to tell Jonghyun off, Taemin interjects with a, “July’s already almost over. School starts soon.”

 

“Shut up, Taemin.” Jongin very audibly kicks Taemin’s shin and Taemin huffs.

 

“Persecuted for speaking the truth.”

 

“Jonghyun, you’re going to be a senior, right?”

 

“Yeah, finally,” he frowns, “what about you all?”

 

“I’ll be a third year, art major and business minor. The kids are both soon-to-be dance majors.”

 

Jongin huffs, reaching across Taemin to get the plate of bulgogi. “Wrong, I’m going to be a dance and education double major.”

 

“Look at you, so successful.” Taemin steals the bulgogi back and puts it on the far end of the table so Jongin can’t reach.

 

“You’re just jealous.”

 

Taemin gasps like he’s offended, flaps his hand in Kibum’s direction. “Mom! Jongin is being mean!”

 

“So? You deserve it, gremlin.”

 

“How about we all just eat quietly?” Jonghyun smiles at them all and Kibum feels some part of him melt as he nods. Taemin and Jongin take just one look at each other and burst out into loud laughter and then Jongin vocalizes for the both of them.

 

“Kibum, you’re whipped.”

 

Needless to say, dinner is a very interesting experience, and they end up in the living room - Taemin and Jongin are rolling on the floor fighting for the remote, and Jonghyun and Kibum are on the sofa, fingers intertwined. They’re sitting close enough that their thighs are just barely brushing and it’s Jonghyun that moves over so they’re sitting flush together. He leans his head on Kibum’s shoulder and then yawns, thumb smoothing over Kibum’s knuckles.

 

“Jongin, promise me if you ever find someone that you’ll never be that gross with them. Especially not in front of me.”

 

“Deal. We should just live together, honestly.”

 

Taemin scrunches up his nose and shoves Jongin to the side, changing the tv from Pirates of the Caribbean to something animated. “Gross. Your movie taste is , and your feet smell.”

 

Jongin doesn’t even look offended, just shoves Taemin back. “Hey, at least I’m not afraid of bugs.”

 

“I am not!”

 

“Taemin, stop lying. Jongin, stop provoking him. No fighting in my house.”

 

“Okay, mom.” Taemin says, the same time Jongin mumbles, “What a mom.”

 

“Fine then, bedtime. Come on, out.”

 

“Dad,” Taemin turns to Jonghyun, pleading with his eyes, “please let us stay up late-”

 

Jonghyun laughs, covers his smile with his hand before patting Kibum’s thigh and shaking his head. “Your mom said bedtime, so bedtime it is. I always do what my Kibummie says.”

 

Kibum’s heart jumps. “Thanks, honey.” and to hide the sudden flush on his cheeks, Kibum leans in and kisses the curve of Jonghyun’s cheek.

 

“Disgusting,” Jongin shakes his head, nudges Taemin, “we’ll never be like that.”

 

“Shoo then, me and your mom need some alone time.” Jonghyun’s hand is creeping up to Kibum’s inner thigh and there’s a playful grin on his lips and Kibum snorts because Taemin and Jongin immediately jump up to go.

 

“So effective,” Kibum murmurs, leans in and kisses the grin off of Jonghyun’s lips, “so cute too.”

 

“Honey?” Jonghyun says it in between the kisses, and his voice is low and rough and it makes Kibum shiver.

 

“Can you two at least wait? God.”

 

“You can let yourselves out, bye.” Jonghyun’s hands are insistent and they pull Kibum to sit in his lap - it’s not a very new position for them but Kibum’s heart still jumps in his chest and their kiss ends up being just their smiles pressed against each other, even when the door slams.

 

“I should go,” Jonghyun says after a while, and Kibum hums.

 

“You should.”

 

“You’re not letting me go,” Jonghyun sounds amused, and he shivers when Kibum’s fingers tangle through his hair.

 

“I don’t want you to.”

 

Jonghyun kisses Kibum again, again before letting his head fall back against the couch. “I want to stay...I have something to do tomorrow though. I wish I didn’t.”

 

“It’s fine. We have...we have a lot of time.”

 

“I’ll miss you.”

 

“You’ll see me soon, silly.”

 

“I’ll miss kissing you,” Jonghyun lets his finger trace the shape of Kibum’s lips, “I’ll miss your pretty smile, your eyes, your voice. I’ll miss how warm you are against me and how you hold me. I’ll even miss your laugh.”

 

“Shut up-”

 

“I love you.”

 

It’s still, quiet then and Kibum’s voice cracks when he speaks, although his words are practically swallowed by Jonghyun’s lips. “I love you too, so much.”

 

(They don’t end up moving for a while after that.)

 

They finally make their way to the door, still holding hands - Kibum doesn’t have the heart to pull away, and neither does Jonghyun.

 

“Good night, Kibummie.” Jonghyun smiles back at Kibum one more time before he steps outside, and that’s when Kibum remembers.

 

“Ah,” Kibum doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, tries to keep his voice from trembling when he speaks again, “where’s my goodnight kiss?”

 

Jonghyun’s whole face scrunches up when he smiles wide, and without hesitation, he leans in and presses his lips to Kibum’s. It’s chaste and Jonghyun pulls away after just a moment, but Kibum’s heart is still pounding and he’s almost sure that Jonghyun can hear it. “Good night, Jonghyunnie.” and he waits at the door until Jonghyun is out of sight, and then he goes inside and shuts the door behind him.

 

The next day, it rains. Kibum certainly does not mind this - he even likes the rain, it’s the thunderstorms he doesn’t like. But it’s only drizzling for now, and Kibum does not mind at all. The light rain is calming and it helps him concentrate on his sketching; he’s doing a piece of them all around the kitchen table, Jongin and Taemin laughing and the back of his and Jonghyun’s heads. Kibum can’t resist sketching out Jonghyun’s face again, the one he makes when he laughs. He even ends up doodling them kissing, Jonghyun’s hand on his cheek and Kibum’s arms around his neck as their lips press together. And then he draws the way Jonghyun’s cheeks had rounded out as he eats a mouthful of kimbap, the way he’d been lying on his bed with that soft grin on his lips, the universe of stars around him.

 

He relocates downstairs once the afternoon hits and stretches out on the couch, laptop in hand; it’s raining harder now and the sound is comforting and he turns on the tv, updates his blog while the news drones on in the background. It’s just warm enough for Kibum to feel sleepy and he surrenders to it, turns off the tv and puts his laptop on the floor and curls up in a ball to nap. He can’t help wishing Jonghyun were there too, even if it meant they’d be uncomfortably close to each other as they laid on top of each other on Kibum’s couch.

 

He wakes up hours later with a start, the sudden crash of thunder startling him awake and setting his pulse racing. It’s dark out, past eleven and Kibum flinches when the lightning flashes, illuminating the room for just a moment before everything goes dark. He fumbles for his phone and turns up the brightness all the way, heedless of the strain it’ll put on his eyes - anything to have a steady source of light. It’s better having his phone in his hand and Kibum feels himself start to calm already. And it’s even better when he manages to cross the room to turn on the lights in the living room, and even though his heart does jump when the next loud clap of thunder comes, it’s not nearly as bad.

 

But then the thoughts come, the memories start to swirl back into his mind and Kibum bites his lip, tries to think of something, anything to distract himself. He thinks of Jonghyun’s soft smile and the I love you’s he’d whispered, the plush curve of his lower lip against his own, the way his fingers rested against the neck of the guitar, how small and soft he looked in his white sweater. But it doesn’t help and Kibum keeps thinking of the harsh words from the voice like storm clouds and heavy raindrops. The disdainful when will you get it through your head that I never loved you, no one could, you’re a-

 

Heavy pounding knocks on the door and Kibum’s heart stops in his chest. When he opens the door, it’s Jonghyun: he’s soaking wet and his guitar is in his hand. Luckily, it’s in its case but it’s soaked too, but Jonghyun doesn’t seem to care. There’s genuine concern in his eyes and he reaches out, hand still wet, to Kibum’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re afraid of thunderstorms, so I came. Are you okay?”

 

“…aren’t you cold?” Kibum pushes Jonghyun’s wet bangs back from his face and Jonghyun grins weakly.

 

“You’re more important than that.”

 

And , Kibum thinks he’s just fallen a bit more in love. “Strip, let me at least get you dry clothes. Did you eat? I can make something really quickly-” a loud crash of thunder and Kibum flinches involuntarily and immediately, Jonghyun is cupping his face in his hands, shushing him quietly. His lips are wet and cold but his kiss is more than welcome and Kibum flushes himself closer, gripping at Jonghyun’s waterlogged shirt to ground himself.

 

“You’re gonna get wet,” Jonghyun murmurs against Kibum’s lips, kisses him again before Kibum can retort.

 

“I don’t care. I missed you so much-”

 

“I missed you too, thought about you all day,” Jonghyun begins to gently Kibum’s cheek with his thumb, “thought about kissing you so much.”

 

“Just kissing me?”

 

“Not just that, Kibummie. Not just that at all-” lightning flashes and Kibum tenses up in Jonghyun’s arms, “here, let’s go to your room.”

 

“What, why?”

 

“Just come on, Kibummie.”

 

Once upstairs, Kibum points to the bathroom. “Strip. Clothes in the tub, I’ll do your laundry tomorrow. No arguing, Jonghyun.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jonghyun leans in to press a slow kiss to Kibum’s lips and Kibum is painfully aware then, that it’s just the two of them alone, in the middle of the night…

 

“Jonghyun…” the name leaves Kibum’s lips with a sigh as Jonghyun pulls away and despite how reluctant he is to lose Jonghyun’s warmth, it had been for the best.

 

“You should change too, you got wet.”

 

“I will. I’ll bring you some clothes, okay?”

 

Jonghyun nods, sets his guitar case down in Kibum’s room and then goes to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. And then Kibum goes back to his room as well, changes into his favorite loose long-sleeved shirt and paint-splattered pants, goes to the closet and pulls out a loose tank top and shorts for Jonghyun to wear. When he knocks, Jonghyun opens the door and Kibum’s eyes immediately fall to his bare chest. When he realizes he’s staring, he looks back up into Jonghyun’s eyes, watches him his lips (absently, his little habit) before accepting the clothes.

 

“Thank you, Kibum.” his voice is low and rough and the look in his eyes is nothing short of predatory, like he wants to pull Kibum in there with him and...and do what, Kibum doesn’t know, but he does know he wouldn’t quite mind doing whatever Jonghyun wanted.

 

“You’re welcome.” Jonghyun smirks when Kibum’s voice breaks midway before he closes the door, and Kibum’s knees buckle as soon as he registers what had just happened, what could have happened.

 

Jonghyun is the way he usually is when he enters Kibum’s room, towel in hand. He wipes down his guitar case and sits Kibum down on his bed, pulls out his guitar and begins to pluck the strings, tuning it. “I told you how I’ve been burnt out recently? His voice is soft but Kibum can still hear it over the pounding rain.

 

“I...think I’ve got it back. I have a muse now. You’re my muse, Kibum. And this isn’t quite finished, but I wrote a song about you.” Jonghyun is still absently plucking the strings as he speaks, shy little grin on his face and when Kibum nods, he takes a breath before setting his fingers to the strings and beginning to play. And then he looks straight at Kibum and begins to sing. His voice is soft and breathy and Kibum doesn’t know what to focus on more: the hazy gray that’d attracted him to Jonghyun in the first place or the intensity in his eyes or the lazy half smile flirting with his lips or even the fluidity of his fingers as he sings.

 

There are lyrics that stand out to him, that make him cover his smile with his hand, that make him want to cry because they’re so beautiful, so realistic, especially for someone without any forms of synesthesia. But the song does the trick - makes Kibum forget all about the thunder and the lightning and the memories, makes him focus only on Jonghyun and the words he’s crooning, the haze of color above his head.

 

And when Jonghyun lets the last breathy high note fall from his lips and the last chord fades into nothing, Kibum stands and takes Jonghyun’s guitar’s place in his lap, kisses him earnestly so Jonghyun can feel what he’s feeling.

 

“I love you,” Kibum gasps out, there are tears in his eyes but he doesn’t care because he’s so in love, “Jonghyun, I love you so much-“

 

“Kibum, Kibum.” Jonghyun grips Kibum’s face in his hands, looks at him earnestly, “I need to tell you something.”

 

Kibum’s heart immediately drops and he goes rigid, still. Jonghyun must feel the sudden drop in Kibum’s mood because he shakes his head, fingers tracing idle paths against Kibum’s hips. “No, no. I just…I’m so glad I met you, and I’m…I fall for people easily, but it’s never been this. I’m so in love with you that it hurts, not being able to call you mine, so…will you be mine? I love you so so much.”

 

The tears are falling from his eyes now but Jonghyun lets Kibum kiss him, lets him give into all the vulnerability that had caused his fear in the first place. “Yes, yes-” and there are no more words for a while, after that.

 

They eventually move from the chair to Kibum’s bed, lay curled up together under the covers. Jonghyun’s guitar is put away and Jonghyun’s fingers are gentle in Kibum’s hair as Kibum presses gentle, absent kisses to wherever he can reach.

 

“Can I ask you why you hate storms so much? You don’t have to answer…”

 

“It’s fine, just…” Kibum shakes his head, “this guy...I liked him so...so much. And he told me he liked me too, but…” when will you get it through your head that I never loved you, no one could, you’re a- “he humiliated me, called me-” Kibum stops because he thinks he’s going to cry and Jonghyun twines their fingers together, lets Kibum lean up to kiss him instead.

 

“I fell in love with his voice first...it was navy blue and sometimes there were flashes of gold, and it reminded me of thick clouds and the sound of rain against the ceiling. It was stupid and I should’ve known better, but…” he shrugs, “I just gave my heart out to the wrong person. I trust you though...I know you won’t hurt me.”

 

“Never,” Jonghyun murmurs, “I would never hurt you. Never.”

 

Kibum nuzzles into Jonghyun’s solid warmth, leans up to kiss him again. Jonghyun’s lips are curved up into a grin and Kibum melts into it, into the sheer emotion that he feels. “I know.”

 

The rest of August passes quickly: Taemin and Jongin are overjoyed to find out that Kibum and Jonghyun are officially dating, and nothing really changes because Jonghyun fits in so well with them all. Their days are more or less the same: Jonghyun and Kibum spend every moment they can together, going on dates (to bookshops or empty beaches or to animal shelters to look at dogs) or lazing around together doing nothing at all. At closing time, they’ll usually meet up with Taemin and Jongin to go out or cook in together, see a movie or go to the beach (Jonghyun and Kibum steal kisses when no one’s looking, and end up having to separate Taemin and Jongin before one of them ends up killing the other.)

 

Jonghyun writes countless songs, sings them for Kibum while Kibum draws and sometimes, he’ll manage to coax a duet out of Kibum, duets that always end with them collapsing together, giggling between kisses. It’s Taemin that again points out that it’s almost time for school, and this time, no one kicks him or tells him to shut up, because it’s true this time. It’s Friday and school is just around the corner and Kibum doesn’t know how he feels about it, because school means less time for the four of them. Jonghyun will be a senior and Kibum will be a junior and Jongin and Taemin are finally entering college and summer being over means that everything they have will change, but somehow...Kibum doesn’t quite mind.

 

Kibum is the first to make it to school: he’s waiting for Jonghyun and Taemin and Jongin and his heart is nearly pounding of his chest and he doesn’t know why. His outfit is brand new, meticulously planned the day before and he’s still nervous, checks his hair in the reflection of his phone screen and as he’s fiddling with the part in his bangs, a sudden weight crashes into him and it’s Jonghyun, holding him tight around his waist.

 

“I missed you,” Jonghyun breathes out. He’s smiling and their foreheads are pressed together and Kibum ignores all the staring because Jonghyun ishere.

 

“We just saw each other,” Kibum smooths a hand through Jonghyun’s flyaway strands of hair, smilie half fond, half amused, “you were over all day yesterday, Jonghyunnie.”

 

“I still missed you, Kibummie,” and quieter, so no one else can hear, “I want to kiss you.”

 

The whispered words still make Kibum’s knees weak but he shakes his head, pulls away just a little. “Later, okay?” (Although, he doesn’t quite know why Jonghyun is so needy; they’d spent hours on the couch the night before, kissing the night away. Kibum’s lips still feel swollen, raw from the pull of Jonghyun’s teeth.)

 

“Hey, lovebirds!” Taemin links arms with Jonghyun and Kibum and Jongin follows suit, both of them grinning their twin cheshire grins, “did you two wait long?”

 

“Not too long-”

 

“Tae, they wouldn’t have known, they were so wrapped up in each other.”

 

“Disgusting,” Jongin agrees, shaking his head, “me and Tae have made a pact to never be like you. We’re going to live together and we’re going to be perfect citizens.”

 

“Until you two both want to watch a movie.”

 

Kibum snorts and nods, mischievous grin flirting with his lips at the scandalized look Taemin shoots him. “He’s right. You two won’t stand a chance.”

 

“I hate you,” Taemin crosses his arms and turns away and Jonghyun shakes free of his and Jongin’s grip to wrap an arm around Kibum’s waist.

 

“I’m with him.”

 

And the softness of which he says it tells Kibum that he means it.

 

They'll be together forever.