He followed her, and of course he would follow her, so why was I feeling so bad ? It’s not like I was his boyfriend, but it was his girlfriend and oh my god did I want to be his boyfriend ? Because that would be ed up, and I was straight, I was pretty sure of that. So why was I jealous of her ? I felt really guilty about the kiss. I shouldn’t have let him do that to me ; yet I enjoyed it. That, I blamed on the alcohol.

But why would he kiss me in the first place ?

This situation was ed up and I needed to go home as soon as possible. I decided to wait a bit to see if he would come back to take me home, so I waited. And waited. Until finally someone I’d never seen before showed up and said Wonho told him to take me home. It could have been a lie, this person could just want to take me at his place and do crazy to me but I was too tired to care. Maybe Wonho really asked him, and I decided to trust the guy.

Turned out to be a great idea, because I was home a few minutes later, with no trouble at all.

I was feeling really hot and sticky from all the sweat I’d been accumulating throughout the day, so I took a rapid fresh shower and went to bed as soon as I could, falling into a dreamless and restless sleep for the rest of the night.

I’m picking you up at 8pm, be ready.

I stared at my phone, clueless about what he was trying to say. It had been nearly a week since the party, and Wonho and I didn’t talk to each other once. We had no reason to, and I didn’t know whether or not he remembered the kiss we shared. We were monday night, two weeks after the beginning of summer break, and I had of course no plans for the night. Plus, his text did make me feel as if I didn’t have any choice. Those were the reasons I was now changing my clothes into something a bit more classy, or at least I tried to convince myself these were the reasons why.

The truth is I wanted to see Wonho - I wanted to know if he remembered anything, if it meant something to him, or if I should just forget everything.

I finally stopped myself after I tried on a new pair of black ripped jeans I got, a plain white tee-shirt and black sneakers. I decided to add a thin black beanie on my blonde hair, just to make myself look a bit more relaxed and chill.

I spent the next thirty minutes wondering where he would take me to, and why. Mostly why. Were we supposed to talk about what happened ? Or leave it as it was ? The minutes were slowly getting closer to the time he said he’d be picking me up. I was too clueless about the whole thing, and the endless questions were dancing so fast in my head, that I didn’t really realized the time had passed when I heard my doorbell go.

And there he was, with his stupid brown hair, his stupid dark eyes, and his stupid confident smile I wanted to erase. We spent at least a whole minute staring at each other when he finally opened his mouth.

“- You ready ?

- Always, but first explain to me what’s going on.

- Not now, smart head. You’ll see when we arrive.”

With a small sigh, I picked up my keys and closed the door on us, letting him decide what the rest of my night would be made of.

After a fifteen minutes ride, that had been extremely quiet and awkward, we finally arrived at the beach.

“- What are we doing here ? Are you trying to drown me or something ?

- Shut up and enjoy.”

There were already a few people sitting on the sand, and while Wonho was explaining to me that they only expected two or three persons more, we walked to them and to the campfire that they all surrounded. Some were sitting on their jackets, some brought big plaids where two or three persons could sit at once. I followed Wonho to the empty side of the fire, where he landed his own white blanket and gestured me to sit down. So that’s what I did.

But even though Wonho was by my side all night, I couldn’t help but feel lonely. He didn’t seem to care at all about me, and everyone was talking to everyone… except me. I was left all alone, wondering why he brought me here in the first place. I took advantage of him coming back from picking up a second beer bottle for himself and decided to ask him. What did I have to lose in the first place ? My ride home ? My mom could always get me.

“- Wonho ?

- Yes ?

- Why did you bring me here anyway ? I wondered out loud after a sigh.

- Oh”, he let out after slowly sitting down. “I guess I wanted an answer.

- An answer ? But on what ?

- On that night. But you agreed to go here with me, so I guess my question’s answered.

- And what’s the answer may I ask ? I was starting to get really pissed at him.

- You. You’re the answer.”

I stared at him, confused, when a sweet melody started on my right. Someone I didn’t know had pulled out an acoustic guitar and, as much cliché it sounded, I smiled. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I was feeling it. And it hadn’t happened since a few years. People were taking turns for singing, and it was soon my turn… to say no. No way I’d sing in front of strangers. The person next to me finished the song, and Wonho smiled at me when every pair of eyes were on me.

Oh no. I could see where it was going.

The guy with the guitar started a song I luckily knew, but I couldn’t get myself to sing. I closed my eyes and realized I was shaking, until a warm hand caught mine. Opening my eyes again, I could see Wonho’s eyes reflecting the flames of the fire in front of us, and his signature smile was now replaced by a sweet and calming one.

“- Sing”, he whispered.

So I did. I first started humming a bit, and I finished singing my heart out with my eyes closed. I had requested a song that was close to my heart, and I could feel Wonho’s squeeze on my cold hand, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care that everyone was probably laughing at my cracking voice, or that I kept forgetting some words.

The song ended with my eyes being wet, but I tried to hold my tears in, not wanting to show how much this song meant to me. When I opened my eyes, I saw every faces staring at me, and no one even said anything. I felt judged, I felt guilty for letting my emotions guide me, so I stood on my shaking legs and walked out of the circle.

I walked until I couldn’t walk anymore, and I could still see the fire, but I couldn’t hear them, and that was the goal.

I stood there, watching the sea, listening to its song, letting the wind dry the cold tears on my cheeks.

“- You were great.”

I jumped, surprised, and turned myself to the owner of the voice.

Wonho.

“- Hi, uhm, nah you don’t have to act nice to reassure me over the fact that I just humiliated myself in front of-

- You didn’t.

- What ?

- You heard me. You have a really nice voice, Hyungwon.”

That was the first time he ever called me by name, so I knew he meant it. His eyes were shining with pride, and he took my hand in his, rubbing my palm to make sure it stayed warm.

“- Thank you.”

He smiled. I did too.

We stayed there, watching the waves crushing down on the sand in front of us, hand in hand.

“- Thank you, he murmured.

- For what ?”

He never answered my question. But I knew. I just didn’t want to be the only one thinking that this, this exact moment, was the start of something new, that would either make me the happiest guy in the world, or crush me down like the waves we were staring at.

 

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Part two is up ! I still have one or two parts left to write, so this is a pretty short story but I really like it. I hope you do too :)

I'm going to try and write one part per week-end, so this story will end in either one or two weeks, who knows.

I hoped you enjoyed this part ♥