Today

from: Hansol

hey is this jeonghan? /the/ best friend of hansol?

to: Hansol

??? what r u saying hansol

from: Hansol

oh no this is soonyoung, his roommate keke

i'm just using his phone to contact u

to: Hansol

oh soonyoung!! hey whats up?

from: Hansol

can u drop by and do something about hansol pls

to: Hansol

what??

from: Hansol

seriously he’s been moping around for the past few days

wouldn’t come out of our room

even to eat

i don’t think he’s taken a shower either lmao

i’ve been checking up on him too and he seems rly bothered by something

whatever it is he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it

but maybe he’d tell u cuz u’re his BFFL

so come over here pls???  :(((((

usually i wouldn’t care but he’s too pitiful now it’s worrisome

to: Hansol

ok, be there in a few

from: Hansol

thanks!!! i’ll go out to give u guys some time to talk

can u clean up his side of the room a bit too?? it’s a mess lmao thanks!!!!!1

This is odd, Jeonghan thinks. Hansol loves the holidays like one little bundle of happy festive Christmas spirit. He was happy just a week ago, too. He seemed excited about Christmas and new year so why would he be feeling down today, on New Years’ eve?

Jeonghan puts on a coat and heads over to Hansol’s dorm room. It’s quite a walk, but in all honesty, not really, because Jeonghan is just lazy. He lives in an apartment not far from his uni while Hansol stays within the university dorms. It was a snowy late afternoon, and he speed walks over there. He combs off the snow falling on his hair with his cold fingers, and he wonders why Hansol had been acting so strangely. Come to think of it, he hasn’t been contacting Jeonghan these past two days as well. Jeonghan thought he’d just been busy with maybe catching up with other friends and family, but hearing from Soonyoung that Hansol had holed himself up inside his room all this time really makes Jeonghan worried.

The part that bothers Jeonghan the most is the fact that Soonyoung told him Hansol hadn’t eaten for days. He hates it when Hansol doesn’t take care of himself. And he realizes once again that he cares too much about him. Damn it, I’m in too deep.

He passes by a fast food chain near campus on the way and makes the last-minute decision to get Hansol something to eat. Good thing I brought my wallet. He orders something to-go and continues his way to Hansol’s.

He practically runs up the stairs when he reaches the dorms, completely forgetting the fact that there are elevators in the building, and by the time he reaches Hansol’s floor he’s a panting mess. He definitely misses Hansol; his days are not complete without at least some text or any form of communication from him. But of course he doesn’t admit that out loud. He brushes off his excitement of seeing him again after two days and fixes his hair and straightens out his shirt and coat. He wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand before he knocks on Hansol’s door.

No one answers, though, and he knocks even louder but still the same lack of response. He takes that as his cue to invite himself inside the shared room, knowing Soonyoung probably didn’t lock the door for him when he left. He trusts Jeonghan to not puke all over their room again like that one time.

“Hansol?” he cautiously steps inside the room as quietly as he can, as if he were in a deserted area and any noise he makes would trigger a zombie attack. Like in Train To Busan. He watched it with Hansol a few months ago, and Jeonghan was nice enough back then to pretend to not notice Hansol crying (again) towards the end.

And the first thing that hits him is the smell of Hansol’s sweat. Yikes, it seems like Soonyoung was right. The room really reeks of Hansol, and Jeonghan is bothered by himself knowing Hansol’s distinct scent. He turns on the light and he sees Hansol – or what appears to be Hansol, because all he sees is a lump of bedsheets on Hansol’s bed.

Soonyoung was right again, because his side of the room was messed up. Socks and clothes thrown under the bed, his backpack sitting on his desk chair, ped and its contents of books and headphones spilling out onto the floor, laptop with a dead battery on his desk, and his phone on Soonyoung’s side of the room, plugged in and charging as if its battery had been dead as well before Soonyoung texted him.

“Vernonie? I got you some food,” Jeonghan says, and not even the mention of food catches Hansol’s attention. He must be really down. “I mean, it’s just a cheeseburger because that’s all I can afford, but it’s something,” and Jeonghan rustles the paper bag as if to prove his point.

He huffs when he gets nothing in response and he stomps over to Hansol’s bed. He pokes him and pulls an annoyed grunt out of him, before fully pulling off the sheets to reveal him.

And just like his room, he is also a mess. His hair is messy and stands up in all different directions and he's starting to look greasy as well from two days of not taking a bath. His skin also seems to be acting up, with a few pimples breaking out here and there, possibly from lack of sleep. The deep and dark eyebags seem to prove that.

“Hansol, you’re so…” Jeonghan tries to find the right word. “…ugly.”

Jeonghan wants to slap himself because, wow, that sure is going to make him feel better. Way to go, Jeonghan.

Hansol only whines and pulls the covers back up to cover his entire body, but Jeonghan is having none of that.

“Hansol, talk to me,” Jeonghan says firmly as he pulls the covers back down again.

Hansol doesn’t even look at him when he says, “Go away. I’m sad and angry,” and pulls the covers again, and this time with more force that Jeonghan knows he has an iron grip on the sheets, not allowing it to be pulled off again. 

So Jeonghan just sighs and sits down next to Hansol on the bed. It dips down just a bit, and Hansol shifts on the bed as if giving him space, and Jeonghan pats him where his head is under the sheets. “Why? It’s New Year’s Eve tonight. You should be happy,” he says while rubbing his head back and forth like he would pet a dog. “What’s wrong? Come on, let’s eat and talk about it.”

And just like that, Hansol gives in easily to Jeonghan and sits up from his position on the bed. He pushes the covers off of himself and reaches for the paper bag Jeonghan had offered him earlier. And in that moment, it seems as if he remembers how hungry he actually is, and his stomach grumbles as he unwraps the cheeseburger and takes a bite out of it.

“I hate everything,” Hansol says with his mouth full. He was sulky and looks like a kid who just threw a tantrum, and Jeonghan would have found it cute and endearing if he didn’t feel bad for him. He chews his food a bit too aggressively, and Jeonghan resists the urge to poke his cheek.

“What’s up?”

“My flight got cancelled. It’s snowing too hard.”

Oh, right. Hansol had been planning this for months. Jeonghan remembers earlier in the semester asking Hansol why he was saving up so much, why he refused to spend when unnecessary. Jeonghan thought he was just being a cheapskate until he answered, something along the lines of Hansol giving his family a surprise visit in the States when New Year comes along. He was so excited about it, too.

“Oh, damn,” Jeonghan doesn’t really know what to do or say in this situation. “I’m sorry to hear about that.”

“Don’t be. I’m just devastated, that’s all. I planned so much for it, too.”

Jeonghan remembers the messy state of his room, and only now sees Hansol’s blue suitcase lying on the floor on Soonyoung’s side of the room, full and closed and ready to go. No wonder it’s so messy, Jeonghan thinks to himself as he remembers all the clothes thrown haphazardly around the room.

“I even bought my family presents and stuff. I heard my little sister got a boyfriend, too. I was looking forward to kicking his ,” Hansol continues and tries to joke, and Jeonghan is glad to see him trying to smile although he isn’t happy.

“Then do it next time. You’ve got plenty of time.”

“School starts again in a few weeks. I don’t know, Jeonghan. I’m tired. And they don’t give refunds, too.” Hansol flops down back on the bed, completely having given up on life. He crumples up the paper wrapping after he finished his burger and threw it on the floor near his bed.

“Well, laying around your room like a bum won’t make you feel better. Let’s get out of here. Try to cheer up a little, okay?” Jeonghan can’t really do anything about the situation, but he knows how difficult this is for Hansol, so the only thing he can do is try to get him to forget how sad he is. He doesn’t need to be sad on New Years’ Eve – it’s just so not Hansol to be so. Even though he’s only known him for a little over a year, he already knows him by heart. (Not to mention said heart is only filled by said best friend.) “There’ll be a fireworks display tonight by the river. Want to go out and maybe eat a proper meal while we wait for that?”

Hansol turns, sits up, and plants his feet on the ground and sighs as if that took up much of his energy. “Sure,” he breathes out.

They were both headed toward the door when Jeonghan suddenly stops and turns around to look at Hansol.

“Oh, wait. Actually… can you do one thing for me first?”

“What?”

“Take a shower. You need it.”

Hansol punches him on the arm but heads over to the bathroom anyway. (And Jeonghan starts tidying up the room while Hansol is in the shower.)

(“Merry Christmas!”

“Wow, you’re looking happy today, Hansol.”

“Shut up and open your damn present.”

“You got me a present?”

Jeonghan opens the paper bag that Hansol was previously hiding behind his back. He takes a look and inside of it is what looks like a sweater. He pulls it out and almost blinds himself by how bright and pink it was, but since it came from Hansol he likes it anyway.

“So, do you like it?” Hansol asks with what looks like a teasing smile on his face. Maybe he thinks Jeonghan would hate it, but Jeonghan would literally appreciate anything Hansol does for him anyway. So, Jeonghan puts on his most angelic smile, one that looks so genuine and happy, and replies.

“Ah, I love it so much, Hansol. Thank you, really.” Jeonghan gives him a few more seconds of his blinding smile that he often uses to get out of trouble, and Hansol shakes his head as if waking himself out of a trance. Jeonghan chuckles at how much Hansol stared at him. Jeonghan’s words probably just caught him off-guard.

“W-what?” Hansol asks, as if he thinks he’d heard wrong. Hah, so this was supposed to be a prank gift. Too bad Jeonghan loves everything about Hansol, and everything he does. “Well, that was unexpected… But, uh, check the envelope inside the bag,” he mumbles, shy all of a sudden.

And so Jeonghan does, and he opens it wondering what else Hansol had gotten him. The sweater was already enough for a real Christmas present. He’d already decided he would wear it on Hansol’s birthday, just to annoy him. A bright pink Jeonghan to brighten up his day – Jeonghan internally giggled at the thought.

“Oh, my God.”

“Don’t say ‘oh, my God,’ Jeonghan.”

“These are tickets to the concert two months from now.”

“Y-Yeah, you’re going with me.”

“But they’re so expensive! And you got two, too. How the hell even?” Jeonghan is vibrating with excitement as he looks at Hansol in shock. He can’t believe it, he was dying to go to this concert but knows it’s not practical because he’d have to sell his entire wardrobe just to get tickets for a decent seat for himself only.

“Well, Jisoo-hyung knows someone and –“

Hansol gets cut off with an ‘oof’ as Jeonghan suddenly tackles him with a giant hug without thinking. Jeonghan just feels so happy at that moment, and he honestly wants to kiss Hansol then and there, but he figures a hug would be enough.

“Ah, you know me so well, Hansol. Thanks so much.” Jeonghan breathes next to his ear from his face resting on Hansol’s shoulder. Hansol’s hands slowly creep up to hug him back, and Jeonghan gives him one last squeeze before letting go.

“No problem. It’s not much.”

“Are you kidding me? Now I’m mad. My present to you pales in comparison,” Jeonghan says with a pout.

“Finally! I was about to throw a fit and think you didn’t get me something at all.”

Jeonghan tsks and walks over to the couch in his apartment, and picks up his gift the size of a shoebox on the floor beside it. “What kind of friend do you think I am?” Jeonghan teases him as he walks over to hand the present to him.

Hansol is about to reply but he’s suddenly speechless when he rips off all of the gift wrapping to reveal what Jeonghan got for him.

Jeonghan remembers a few weeks ago when he had been shopping with Hansol, the latter begging him to come with him because he needed a new pair of shoes after his old sneakers burst open at the sides after a PE class. He looked at this one pair of purple running shoes that looked really cool, but had regretfully put back on its display after checking the price tag. Jeonghan knew Hansol really wanted it, so that’s what he got him. It really was expensive, but good thing Jeonghan had some savings left. He was willing to spend on it, too, because he knew Hansol would put it to good use.

Hansol is the one who initiates the hug this time, and Jeonghan remembers just how deeply in love he is.

“Actually, no. I’m kidding. That’s a reward for you passing your Chemistry class. I didn’t get you a Christmas present. Congrats, by the way. You worked hard. Fighting.”

Hansol snickers a bit but slaps Jeonghan on the back without separating themselves.)

“Oh, hey, the fireworks are starting,” Hansol suddenly stops walking and heads over to the side of the bridge to get a better view. There are many people and Jeonghan would have preferred staying at home if that were the case, but he didn’t mind being sweaty in a crowded and cramped place if that meant Hansol would have to press by his side.

The two had finished eating – although Jeonghan had promised a proper meal, they ended up getting fat on street food instead – and during the time left they started walking around the city under the lights in the busy streets. They went window shopping and started judging and making fun of other people who they found interesting, and Jeonghan is happy to see Hansol getting back to his old self.

He knows it a lot for Hansol because although he tries to act all cool, he’s still a mama’s boy and really values his family. His late night Skype chats with his mom are indication of that – every ‘oh, it’s so early there, go back to sleep, mom, I love you’ reminds Jeonghan just how soft and caring Hansol actually is.

They were walking for a few hours and got each other matching beanies (Hansol wanting something to hide his messy hair) when the first ‘boom’ of a firecracker caught both of them by surprise.

Jeonghan looks over to Hansol’s highlighter-green beanie and down, smiles at the childlike look of wonder on his face. Every time a firework would light up the sky, its colors would find themselves on Hansol’s face and Jeonghan finds it so beautiful, and he really wouldn’t mind seeing it every night. Every blue, red, green, yellow, orange reflects on his shining eyes and Jeonghan thinks, it’s now or never.

(“Finally, he left.”

“Oh, Hansol? He must’ve really needed to go to the restroom. He was probably holding it in, because he doesn’t trust you alone with me.”

“Finally, you and I get to talk! I thought he’d never leave, seriously,” Rosé says to Jeonghan with her hands clasped tightly in front of her, as if she has an evil plan she’s ready to put in motion. Her smile is a bit too wide and disarming and Jeonghan suddenly feels scared.

“Why? Got a secret of his you wanted to spill?” Jeonghan plays along but is still curious as to what Rosé is about to say.

“Oh, well, not really a secret, but…” she pauses dramatically, and looks around to check if anyone is listening to them or within hearing range. Jeonghan turns to look around too, suddenly nervous. Rosé finally looks at him, dead in the eye, a serious expression on her face, and says in an even tone, “Vernon totally likes you, too.”

Jeonghan is surprised to say the least, and he leans back in his chair, almost slamming his fists on the table but holding himself back from doing so. “What do you mean?”

Rosé leans back as well and nonchalantly starts checking her nails as if what she said was totally something ordinary. “Ah, I'm mad... He was so cute, too." She checks her nails on her other hand, "Well, he probably hasn’t admitted it to himself yet, or maybe he’s still in denial, but…” Rosé looks him in the face again, “He’ll come into terms with it soon enough. I know, because I’m a love expert. The smell of love in the air is too strong.”

Jeonghan lets out a puff of air in disbelief, and looks at Rosé like she was crazy. “You’re crazy.” Jeonghan looks away but he can feel heat flooding his face. He can’t help it. The thought of Hansol liking him back is… too much. It’s making him feel shy.

“I’m serious! I think he’s too lame to do something about it himself, so I suggest you get moving before someone else does –“

Jeonghan suddenly realizes something and snaps his head back to her direction and narrows his eyes.

“Wait, wait, wait… What do you mean he likes me, too? What do you mean ‘too’?” Jeonghan never mentioned anything about liking Hansol at all. Damn, Rosé really was an expert.

Rosé looks at him as if she’d slipped up and she smiles sheepishly. “Oops, um,” she looks at her phone on the table even though there was no notification on it, “Looks like Jennie is calling me to pick her up from class. See you, Jeonghan!”

Rosé grabs her stuff and makes a run for it and Jeonghan was about to complain and scream at her to come back but Hansol starts walking toward the table again. He looks at her quickly brush past him without acknowledging him at all and looks at Jeonghan in confusion.

“Where’s she going?”

“Oh, uh…” It took a few seconds for Jeonghan to recover from Rosé’s shocking revelation and find his words again. “Her friend started calling her.”

Hansol sits down on his chair again and says, “Finally, she left. I thought she’d never leave seriously.” He chuckles as he sits down, rambling off about how ‘I know I was the one who brought her here but she’s so loud, I swear,’ and he suddenly stops at the look on Jeonghan’s face. “What did you two talk about? Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan is a deer caught in the headlights, and he scrambles to tell him, “No, nothing! Nothing that concerns you, ha ha…” Hansol looks at him in suspicion. “Just school stuff!”

Hansol narrows his eyes even further, "Well, whatever she said, she's lying," but ultimately decides to let it go, looking back down at his stuff on the table.

“So, back to studying?”)

“Hey, Hansol.”

“Yeah?” Hansol turns to look at Jeonghan in between the fireworks exploding in the sky. The light shines on the side of his face and casts shadows, and Jeonghan remembers how he fell for every deep and sharp and simply handsome feature.

“It’s… it’s a thing in the States right?” Jeonghan was super hesitant and his eyes go down to their feet, but Hansol just looks at him, waiting for him to continue. “To… to kiss someone on New Years’ eve.”

Jeonghan doesn’t know what to expect. Will Hansol punch him in the gut and leave him there and never talk to him again? Or will Jeonghan’s dreams finally come true and Hansol will actually kis– wait, is Hansol laughing?

Jeonghan is dumbfounded by his best friend's reaction and looks up, only to see the look of amusement on his face. Jeonghan is glad to see Hansol smile again today, and every time he laughs his happiness radiates off on him as well, but Jeonghan doesn't know if him laughing in this situation is a good thing or not.

“What the heck? Where did you get that?” Hansol manages to say in between laughter. His shoulders are shaking and, wow, Jeonghan. Real smooth.

Jeonghan opens and closes his mouth like a fish, and scrambles to defend himself, “In the movies! They always do that!”

“So you do love watching romance movies!”

God damn it, Roseanne Park. What the hell do I do now?

Jeonghan is at a loss for words until Hansol stops laughing loudly and leans up, tiptoeing on his purple running shoes, and presses his lips on Jeonghan’s…

…cheek.

“There, you happy?” Hansol says in between tiny after-giggles, and Jeonghan was about to ask what that was for but Hansol beats him to it, “A thank you. You know, for cheering me up on this really ty day. And not making it ty anymore. For making my New Year worthwhile. You know, the sappy stuff.” Hansol’s face was red as hell and damn it, I forgot Hansol gets cold easily.

“You’re…” Jeonghan is speechless for the nth time that night; Hansol just has that effect on him. He just shakes his head and smiles, looks back down at the ground, and up at the fireworks display again.

He tries not to let his hopes get the best of him, like that time Hansol sent him the text. Jeonghan had jumped for joy, thinking that Hansol had confessed to him, only to be let down that it really was just a dumb autocorrect typo. Jeonghan had been mortified at that time, embarrassed to death but overall disappointed at himself for even hoping.

But this…

It’s… something. Not much, but it’s something. A tiny fire of hope that lights up the fireworks in his heart. He can feel his heart going ‘boom boom’ at the thought that Hansol may care about him as much as he does about him. That he might think as importantly about Jeonghan as Jeonghan does about him. He might not like Jeonghan as much as he likes him, but that could wait.

For now, what’s important that the both of them are there, and they have nothing to worry about because neither of them are going away any time soon.

It’s progress and something Jeonghan has to continue working for, and Jeonghan doesn’t mind working for it everyday.

At all.

Fighting, Yoon Jeonghan.

-----

a/n: bye this is so sappy RIP LOL

also happy new year!!! decided to make this kinda special and write it in Jeonghan's POV hehe. and it's also slightly longer than any other chapter ahaha

unproofread, so please point out any mistakes! leave comments as well cuz i love reading them! and upvote maybe? ; w;

thank u for reading~