[ photo credit: https://itsbap.com/post/184457327244/yongguk-dazed-korea-may-issue ]

The moment you've all been waiting for...

“I heard that Chief Kang offered you a transfer.”

Yongguk turned to face his partner, who was in the driver’s seat of the patrol car. They’d been driving quietly for a while now, but from the curious look that Junhyung was giving him, he had probably been wondering how to broach the question for a while.

He liked having Junhyung as a partner. They were similar in temperament, both of them being rather mellow and laid-back. He liked that Junhyung was experienced enough not to be over-zealous, always keeping his cool despite all the lunatics they encountered on a daily basis. Most importantly, he liked that Junhyung was quiet. Pockets of long silences never felt awkward between them. If he took up Kang’s offer to join the task force, he’d have to get used to another partner, and to Yongguk, that sounded like a bigger challenge than anything else.

He gave his partner a small smile. “He did,” he replied simply. There was no point in lying. “But I’m not taking it.”

Junhyung nodded. Then, he ventured another question. “Why not? It sounds like a really good opportunity. Guys like us never get such offers.”

Yongguk’s smile didn’t slip. “I like what we do.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Sure, being stationed to an outpost got tiring and mundane, and there were only so many reports about petty crimes one could write before the illusion of being able to make a difference died a natural death. But he’d had his shot at working in the headquarters, and at being one of the rising stars of the force. He knew there wasn’t anything great about that either.

Junhyung said nothing, and silence enveloped the two again. Yongguk side-eyed his partner, and he knew what Junhyung was holding back. He was sure Junhyung knew about his history; every police officer in Seoul probably did. He was the undercover cop who’d gone rogue, but instead of punishing him, the higher-ups had covered up his crimes and exiled him. He’d heard the rumors here and there about why that was so. Some believed it was because he had to be given credit for taking down the number one gang in the country; some thought that there must have been many more unspeakable things that happened during the operation that they were afraid he’d spill if they fired him; some even speculated that Chief Kang had a soft spot for him. It didn’t matter to Yongguk. As long as they didn’t fire him, he’d just do whatever job he was allotted. He had no problems with a simple existence.

Yongguk looked down at the tablet in the car that contained notes for their patrol route today. “Take the next left turn. Some residents have complained that there are high school kids who hang out at the playground around here, smoking and causing a disturbance.”

Junhyung obeyed, taking the turn as instructed, but promptly found their car in a long line. “Wow, why is there a hold-up at this time?”

Yongguk looked at the GPS. “There’s a daycare center just ahead. I suppose these are parents picking up their kids.”

“Should we park and walk, then?” Junhyung suggested.

Yongguk nodded. “Sure. The playground is just around the corner anyway.”

They managed to find a parking spot, put on their caps and straightened their uniforms before walking along the pavement. It was a nice afternoon, with clear skies and bright sunshine. It was starting to get warmer lately, but there was a nice cool breeze that day. As the two of them walked along the queue of slow-moving cars, Junhyung looked around.

“Must be some daycare,” Junhyung commented. “I haven’t seen so many imported cars in one place in a while.”

Yongguk scanned his surroundings and realized Junhyung was right. Besides the expensive cars that were lining up to enter the main entrance of the daycare, there were well-dressed ladies and older women that looked like nannies waiting along the sidewalk. Amongst them, a tell-tale sign that they were in the presence of not just normal-rich people but the ultra-rich, were men in suits milling around. They had to be either chauffeurs or butlers.

Without him being able to control it, he suddenly thought of Nara and Butler Lee, and was overcome with a wave of sadness. He’d always thought himself unfortunate to have grown up in an orphanage, but he remembered how lonely Nara had been. Despite her father giving her every kind of material comfort in the world, the only person who’d been there for her was someone who had been paid to do it. To think that even that person had been planted by the police for nefarious reasons.

He’d been thinking about her, so when her face first appeared before him, it barely registered. Then, a sudden moment of clarity seized him, and he did a double take. He froze, blinking as he looked at her. She hadn’t noticed him; she was standing in front of gate alongside other adults, craning her neck to spot her child amongst the children that were streaming out. Dressed in a casual get-up of jeans and a sweater, she looked a lot younger than the other mothers. For a moment, he considered hiding, simply because he was so used to observing her from afar, but before he could move, she turned her head and spotted him.

The moment lasted mere seconds, but to Yongguk, it might as well have been years. It was as if time stood still when they locked eyes. The years of grief and pain that he’d suppressed so well rushed to the surface all at once, so suddenly and forcefully that he almost gasped out loud. His heart constricted. It wasn’t an emotional or psychological pain, as his counsellors believed; confronted with the sight of Nara, the pain was very much physical. The sharp, searing sensation that ripped through him was so tangible that it felt like someone had just punched him in the chest.

“Are you okay?”

Junhyung’s voice broke the deadlock, and when he turned back to face Nara, she’d already looked away. She was probably pretending she hadn’t seen him, and that could have been believable if he wasn’t so attuned to her body language. Her posture was stiffer now, and her shoulders were tensed. He quickly looked away. She wasn’t supposed to be alive. He owed it to her to at least allow her to keep up that charade.

“Yeah, just remembered I forgot to close my windows this morning,” Yongguk said lamely.

Junhyung looked like he didn’t believe him, but they’d been partners for so long that he’d learnt not to question any of Yongguk’s weird actions. “Where did you say the playground was again? That way?”

They continued walking forward, in Nara’s direction, and Yongguk forced himself to remain calm. He was about to shake off the encounter and answer Junhyung’s question when he saw a child run towards Nara with open arms, happily calling out, “Umma!”

Something felt like it died in him. He’d dreamt about a moment like this a million times, but in his dreams, he’d be beside her, and they’d be a family. He couldn’t help sneaking a look as she crouched to hug the child. When he saw the child, though, his feet stopped moving again. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it, but something felt… strange.

The few times he’d seen Nara or Himchan with the boy, he hadn’t been able to look at them up close, so this was the first time he was actually face-to-face with him. The boy looked nothing like how he’d imagined Nara and Himchan’s son to be. He remembered seeing Himchan’s baby photos once, when they’d all still been close, and everyone had been amazed at how pretty he’d been, and how he looked almost like he was from some faraway exotic land. This child was cute, but he didn’t inherit Himchan’s chubby, rosy cheeks or round eyes. He looked unexpectedly different and somewhat… familiar.

Yongguk quickly brushed it off and continued on his way, walking past Nara as if he hadn’t seen her, but he couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that something was off. The thought bugged him for the rest of the day, even after he’d knocked off, had dinner with Sleepy and Yoomi, and taken a shower.

When he lay down in bed that night, that strange feeling stopped him from falling asleep. His thoughts started to drift into weird and forbidden places. He remembered that Junhong had told him that Nara and Himchan had gotten married and had a child. They’d only been away for three years, and if Junhong was telling the truth, it meant that they’d gotten married right after they’d gone on the run and then had their child. That thought caused his heart to squeeze painfully. Would she have done that, given the way that things had ended between them? It had been three years, and he still couldn’t imagine feeling anything for another woman, given how fiercely he’d loved her.

Just as he started to blame and resent her, Yongguk caught himself. Who was he to decide how she healed? He was the one who’d broken her heart completely. He was the one who’d approached her and started a relationship with her with an ulterior motive. She had every right not to believe that any of his feelings for her were real, and if she wanted to marry Himchan, a man whose feelings were obviously very, very real, it was her prerogative to do it. Kang Minshik thought that she’d married him to consolidate power within the gang, but he didn’t know Himchan. Yongguk did, and he knew that there was every possibility that Himchan’s love, in all its depth and magnitude, could have swayed her at last.

Still, despite his mind telling him not to, lest he just gave himself false hope and brought himself more pain, Yongguk climbed out of bed and pulled out a small box hidden in a corner of his closet. He rarely opened it, because it made him miss his grandfather a lot, and the feeling of intense loneliness triggered his panic attacks. But tonight, he opened the box with trembling hands. He pushed aside the few trinkets from his childhood, and pulled out the two photographs he’d kept. In the first one, he was eight and was smiling happily as he posed beside his grandfather. He felt tears collect in his eyes, and a smile tug at the corner of his lips when he gazed lovingly upon his grandfather’s kind face. But this wasn’t the photograph he was looking for. He put down the first one and held up the second one to the light.

In this photograph, he had to be about three or four. He was sitting down, his arms around a Tigger stuffed toy, his mouth opened in what looked like a hearty laugh. He’d seen this photograph hundreds of times. Touched it so many times the edges were worn.

But now, when he looked at it, he only saw the spitting image of the boy who’d run into Nara’s arms that afternoon.

“…and this appears to be their current place of residence. We still be staking this place out round-the-clock, and we’ll have three teams—”

Doojoon paused in the middle of his briefing when he heard a knock on the door. His whole team turned and stared as the door opened slightly, and someone peeked in. “Um… I was told to… join the meeting.”

Doojoon straightened, smiling. “Of course. I was hoping you would.” He gestured for Yongguk to step in, before turning to the rest of the team. “Everyone, this is Officer Bang Yongguk. If you’ve done your background reading like I told you to, this man needs no introduction. He’s going to provide us with a lot of valuable insight. Let’s welcome him to the team.”

Yongguk lowered his head, embarrassed as the members of the Black Dragon task force started clapping awkwardly. They were feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension, he supposed. They were probably right to have their reservations. “It’s been three years since I’ve had close contact with any member of the Black Dragon, so I don’t know how much insight I can provide,” he said in an attempt to temper the expectations. “And I’ve been out of action for a long time as well. I’ll try to be as useful as possible, but I hope to learn a lot from all of you. Please be patient with me.”

He took a seat at the back of the room, trying to blend into the background as much as possible. As Doojoon continued his briefing, Yongguk observed the people around him. Chief Kang had told him that the task force was assembled such that it contained skilled personnel from various departments, and at a glance, he could tell. Just sitting there and taking notes, everyone looked serious, like they busted gangs on the daily. Meanwhile, he felt weird just sitting there among them in his jeans and t-shirt instead of his usual uniform. He was pretty sure that he was the only uniformed officer among them, and that was slightly intimidating.

He waited until the meeting was over and everyone had filed out of the meeting room, before he approached Doojoon, who was gathering his notes.

“So, how was it? Were you able to get all the updates?” Doojoon asked. “If you need me to clarify anything, I have some time now.”

Yongguk shook his head, getting distracted by the whiteboard behind Doojoon, which had photographs of Nara and her posse pinned up. “I’m fine for now. I’ll ask you when I have questions.” His eyes were immediately drawn to a picture of Nara holding her son. Now that he’d seen the resemblance between the child and his own photo, he couldn’t look at it without feeling a churning in his stomach.

“I’m surprised you came around,” Doojoon commented, standing beside him and looking at the whiteboard too. “Chief Kang told me you said no.”

Yongguk continued staring at the picture, his eyes burning holes in it. “I changed my mind. I feel like there’s some unfinished business between me and them.”

Doojoon paused, eyeing him. He folded his arms, his voice cautious. “I know it’s going to be tough on you emotionally, investigating them again. I’m not Chief Kang. If it gets tough for you, you know I—”

“What do we know about the kid?” Yongguk interrupted, not willing to get into any touchy-feely stuff with the man who was now his superior.

Doojoon was still looking at him. He wasn’t a fool. He knew that Yongguk’s interest in the child meant that he probably still had some lingering feelings. “You mean Kim Himchan and Choi Nara’s son?”

Yongguk bristled visibly. “Yeah. Do we have any information about him?”

“Just basic information,” Doojoon replied. “His name is Kim Ho Won, and both parents put down their fake names in the birth registration. Technically, he’s Kim Joo Hyuk and Cho Hye Won’s son. He’s three, turning four this August…”

Yongguk’s head turned. “August?”

Doojoon nodded. “They had him when they were on the run. He was born in a private hospital in Daejeon. I think we can safely assume that’s where their safe house was.”

Yongguk did some mental calculations. If the boy was born in August, that meant that even if he was premature, he would have been conceived around November or December the previous year, at the very latest. The Black Dragon bust had happened in January, that he remembered very vividly. The numbers just didn’t add up. If the child was indeed Himchan’s, that meant that Nara would have had to sleep with him while she was still with Yongguk.

Yongguk could feel his pulse start to race dangerously. He couldn’t be presumptuous and rule out that possibility, could he? Towards the end of their relationship, he’d been distant and their relationship had been tumultuous because of all the internal turmoil he’d been facing. He’d struggled with his mental health, and there was no way he could let her see that side of him, so he’d chosen to turn away from her. He remembered, guiltily, that he’d treated her horribly during those times. Was it entirely impossible that she’d turned to Himchan then?

That would explain a lot, he realized. Doojoon was still talking, but Yongguk could no longer listen as pain started to radiate outwards from his chest. If she’d been cheating on him with Himchan, it would make sense that they’d gotten married right after they went on the run. It would also explain why he’d never suspected the child was anyone’s but Himchan’s. Whenever he saw Himchan with the boy, he was nothing but loving. He knew Kim Himchan’s strong pride. There was no way he’d take care of another man’s child like his own.

Or would he?

He couldn’t shake the resemblance between the child and his own childhood photograph. Technically, there was a possibility that the kid was his, wasn’t there? The mere thought had his heart pumping so hard he could feel it in his eardrums. He felt almost faint just thinking about it.

What if it were his? Was he supposed to be happy, or angry that she’d kept it from him? And what could he do now? If she’d meant to hide it from him, she probably wanted him to have nothing to do with them.

Yongguk caught himself before he allowed his thoughts to wander too far. He knew his own mental state, and he knew that he was more unstable recently, after he’d realized that Nara was alive. He couldn’t let it get too far. If the child turned out to be Himchan’s indeed, he would never recover from the blow.

“Yongguk, are you okay?”

He blinked, and Doojoon’s concerned face came into focus. He shook his head and forced a tight smile. “Yeah?”

“I asked if you wanted to grab lunch in the cafeteria with the rest of the team,” Doojoon said, his brows knitted. “Since you’re new to the team, I thought it would be good for you to know everyone a bit better.”

Yongguk nodded, maintaining a calm expression with practiced ease, masking the turbulence that he was feeling internally. “Sounds good. Lead the way.”

“Slow down. Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Nara turned to Daehyun, whose brows were knitted in concern as he looked at her. “Did I ask you to come here to be my mother?”

Daehyun pushed down her hand, stopping her from lifting the glass to her lips again. “I’m not trying to be a spoilsport, but you need to know that you haven’t drunk like that in a long time and your body’s not going to be able to keep up.”

“Blah, blah, blah,” Nara said, rolling her eyes. She transferred her glass to her other hand, turning away from Daehyun so he couldn’t stop her from taking another drink. “If you’re going to be a wet blanket, just go home. I have Jongup and Junhong anyway.”

Daehyun’s eyes momentarily flickered towards Jongup and Junhong, who were playing darts with a bunch of guys from the gang. The fact that they were in one of their own clubs seemed to have caused them to let their guards down. Neither of them were keeping an eye on their leader, like they were supposed to. Only Daehyun remained by her side, getting increasingly annoyed that he was the only responsible one. “I’ll be surprised if they even remember where they live by the end of the night.”

“Loosen up,” Nara said, refilling her drink. She grabbed another glass and pushed it into Daehyun’s hand. “We’ve been working a lot lately. Tonight, we just have fun. You don’t have to stick to me. Pick up a girl and go to a nice hotel. My treat.”

Daehyun took a sip of whisky, but he didn’t move from his seat. “What happened?”

Nara lifted an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“Something must have happened today,” Daehyun stated, staring blankly at her. “You suddenly wanted to have a night out, and you’re now trying to drown yourself in alcohol. You want me to believe that nothing’s wrong?”

“I just want a break from working so hard,” Nara answered with a shrug. “I finally have one night free, and my husband’s home taking care of the kid. Can’t I just enjoy myself?”

“You can,” Daehyun agreed. “But when you talk to me, I want you to remember that we’ve been best friends for over ten years before you try to give me some bull that I’ll never believe.”

“You are the most boring person to come to a club with,” Nara complained with a pout. “You’re getting soft, Jung Daehyun. You used to know how to party.”

“And you used to be able to tell me everything.”

Nara took a long look at Daehyun’s sad eyes and sighed. During their time in Daejeon, he’d been nothing but supportive. While Himchan was busy juggling his unresolved feelings and rebuilding the gang, Daehyun had been her biggest pillar of support. Youngjae hadn’t been with them, so the two of them had gotten closer than ever. She knew he was giving up a lot of his own life just to stick with her, and as much as she appreciated that, she couldn’t help feeling guilty.

“I saw him today,” she said quietly, looking down at the ice cubes in her glass. “Bang Yongguk.”

Just hearing his name cause Daehyun’s blood to drain from his face. “You did? Where? Did he come looking for you?”

Nara shook her head. “I don’t think he even saw me. I was waiting to pick up Howon and he was… patrolling, I guess. He was in a uniform.”

Daehyun raised an eyebrow. “Was he? Why would he be?”

Nara shrugged. “Maybe he changed departments. I don’t know.”

Daehyun his lips, knowing he had to choose his next words carefully. “And how did you feel? When you saw him.”

Nara hesitated. That was something she was trying to figure out herself too. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “It was just… weird. A little bit of anger, I guess, but I also feel like I should be angrier? It’s not like I still miss him or anything, but I felt a little… sad? I can’t explain it.”

“You can miss him a little,” Daehyun said. “He’s Howon’s father after all.”

Nara’s eyes darkened at that. “Only biologically. He’s still the man who caused our downfall. He’s the reason my father is dead.”

Daehyun nodded. “Remember that. Now that we’re making waves, the police are watching us. We can’t afford to let him ruin things a second time.”

Nara took another sip of her drink. “I won’t. I’m not the same foolish little girl I was. Howon’s father or not, if I have to, I’d put a bullet in his brain.”

Daehyun eyed her. “You don’t intend to tell him? About Howon.”

“Never,” Nara replied resolutely. “He doesn’t need to know.”

“Alright, if you really—” Daehyun trailed off, sitting straighter, alert, as the sounds of a disturbance reached them. The loud shouting caused him to stand, ready for a fight, before the music cut and the lights . He cursed under his breath when he realized what was happening. “, a raid?”

Beside him, Nara stood too, sighing. “Is it so hard to catch a break?”

Daehyun immediately did a quick sweep of the area around him. He knew he didn’t have much to worry about, since anyone who had the privilege of hanging out with their boss knew how much she hated drugs (an irony, considering they were the biggest suppliers of it in the country), but it was in his personality to be safe than sorry. He motioned for Jongup, and the younger man came bounding over. He pulled out his gun from its holster on his belt and handed it over to Jongup, before nudging Nara to do the same.

“Clean up,” he barked at Jongup, who quickly nodded, disappearing with the guns. He patted himself down one more time to make sure he had nothing suspicious on him, then sat down calmly and poured himself another drink. Nara sat down, joining him without another word as they waited.

“Don’t move! Stand by the wall with your hands up and take out your IDs!”

“You! Where do you think you’re going?”

Daehyun’s eyes flicked towards Jongup, who’d just returned from where he’d gone to stash the guns, and was trying to blend back into the crowd.

“I was confused, sir,” Jongup said, his expression blank. “You said not to move, and then you told us to go to the wall. Which do you actually mean?”

The officer standing in front of Jongup eyed him warily. “You’re Moon Jong Up, aren’t you? Didn’t you just get out? You want to go back in so soon?”

“No, sir,” Jongup replied, unaffected. “If you’ll just clarify your instructions, I’ll be happy to comply.”

“By the wall. ID out.”

Jongup grinned at Nara and Daehyun as he joined the rest of the guys who were standing against the wall, just as other plainclothes police officers gathered in front of their table. “Are you two deaf? Go stand by the wall!”

Both Nara and Daehyun shuffled to the wall beside Jongup.

“Why is there a raid here today?” Nara asked as they waited for the officers to go down the line. “Why weren’t we informed?”

“I don’t know,” Daehyun answered, squinting and trying to catch a glimpse of the passes that hung around the necks of the police officers. “These guys don’t look like the guys from Vice.”

“There are a few from Anti-Triad,” Jongup said, looking around to try to spot faces he recognized. “But not all of them.”

“Hey!” Daehyun called out, flagging down one of the officers. “Which team are you guys from? Who’s your team leader?”

The officer narrowed his eyes at Daehyun. “I don’t think it’s in your place to ask that. Stand properly.”

Daehyun raised an eyebrow cockily. “I’m a tax-paying civilian who’s enjoying a night out. I did nothing wrong and I’m cooperating with whatever you guys are doing here. You don’t have the right to talk to me like I’m a criminal.”

The officer scoffed. “Oh, is that what you’re doing now? Pretending you’re not criminals? The biggest, baddest ones of all?”

Daehyun lurched forward before Nara could stop him. “What did you say, you little…”

Jongup managed to grab Daehyun before he did any real damage, but the officer, taken aback by Daehyun’s aggression, was now staring in shock at the spot on his shoulder where Daehyun had just swiped him.

“Ya, did you just attack an officer of the law?”

“Attack? I barely touched you!”

“What’s the matter here?”

Nara, Daehyun and Jongup exchanged looks as Yoon Doo Joon approached the group. Suddenly, it all made sense. The special task force. Someone must have tipped them off. They hadn’t expected the cops to make a move so soon, much less in a harmless gathering like this one. What did they hope to achieve?

“Sir, we’re just having a drink with our friends,” Jongup said innocently. “Is it really necessary for a high-ranking police officer like yourself to come down to visit us personally?”

“Oh, so these are all your friends?” Doojoon asked, his tone condescending. His gaze lingered on Daehyun and Nara. “A lot of friends you have. If I didn’t know better, I’d mistake it for a… gang.”

“Maybe you should socialize more,” Nara couldn’t help herself from sniping. “Then maybe you’ll have some friends too.”

Doojoon cocked an eyebrow. “How do you know if I have friends…” He plucked her ID from her hand and glanced at it before scoffing. “…Cho Hye Won-ssi?”

Before either one could say anything more, another officer came running up to Doojoon with a plastic packet with blue liquid in it. “Sir! Tabletops tested positive for .”

Daehyun frowned. “It’s not ours. You can’t pin this on us.”

Doojoon smiled at him. “We’ll find out about that after a round of routine tests.” He turned away to call out to the other officers in the room. “Round up the whole lot of them!”

There were groans and sounds of protest around the room, undoubtedly because no one had expected their night to end like this. When Daehyun looked to Nara for instructions, though, he found her frozen. He followed her line of sight and felt his stomach sink. Moving towards them, handcuffs out, was Bang Yongguk.

Daehyun felt an inexplicable rage rise from within him, but before he could act on it, he found himself unceremoniously pinned to the wall by another officer, and heard the cold click of metal around his wrists. “I’m going to lodge a complaint for excessive use of force,” he growled.

“I look forward to it.”

Beside him, Nara’s voice was calm and clipped as Yongguk approached, his eyes on the ground. “Don’t you dare touch me.”

The tension between them was palpable. Yongguk still wasn’t looking at her, so Nara was merely staring at the top of his head. His hands, holding an opened pair of cuffs, were slightly extended towards her, but they made no move to get closer.

He his lips. “You have the right to remain silent, and…”

“I’ll get this.”

The moment was broken by a female officer stepping between them. Nara held her hands out as Yongguk stepped back, clearly relieved. As he moved away, however, he found Jongup blocking his way with a devilish smirk.

“Nice to see you again, Officer Bang.”