Smiling bitterly as I packed the last of my bags, I glanced around my small flat, trying to remember all the small details. I fondly gazed at the glow-in-the-dark stickers that I once thought were empyreal, and looked over to my mirror. 

    My reflection looked frangible, and I blinked once. Never had I comprehended that I would be so haggard, and be tremulous. Blinking away from my reflected body, I marched over to my suitcase. 

    I held my portmanteau, and walked out for the last time. The owner would realise that I was gone when he finds out that my house rent was overdue. 

    As I locked my door, my cranky neighbour stumbled out. “Going somewhere, eh?”, she asked. I nodded, and I knew she found this surprising, since I was an indoorsman. “I’m not stopping you! In fact, I remember the time when I had to go on a trip, and-“, my mind immediately blocked her voice out. She was a garrulous person, and I had briefly forgotten that. 

    “I’m sorry, but I have to catch my train soon.”, I tried to interject as politely as I could. 

    “Of course, of course. Have fun with your boyfriend.”, she rambled. Pushing away the words that rose up in my throat, I bowed to her, and entered the elevator. I would miss her pestering voice, and the treats she would always bring for me. I laughed softly when I remembered the time when she stumbled across me and Suga. 

*Flashback*

“No, Suga! Stop!”, I giggled when he continued his tickle torture. 

    “It’s your fault for burning the cookies!”, he defended himself, but didn’t cease his tickling. 

    “I apologise! Now stop!”, I cachinnated louder when his fingers breezed against my ribs. When his fingers stopped torturing me, we both heaved huge breaths of air. After a few moments, we both realised that we were in an awkward position- he was trapping me on the sofa, his bangs tickling my forehead. 

    After staring shyly at each other, he slowly leaned towards me. His eyes slowly fluttered shut, and the fact that we were doing something penetralia occurred to me. I felt diaphanous, and his fingers brushing against my shoulders added to the feeling. I also leaned forward to decrease the gap. Just before our lips touched, there was a loud bang from the door. 

    Both of our heads whipped towards the source of the sound, and I noticed my neighbour looking shocked, my favourite cookies in her hands. “I’m so sorry if I ruined the moment!”, and scuttled away. Suga and I glanced at each other, our faces red. 

    “By the way,”, she popped her head back in plain view. “You guys make a cute couple.” With that, she winked, and shut the door. I regretted ever giving her the keys, but all thoughts dissipated when Suga grasped my hand. 

    “Let’s not go to work today, eh?”, he asked, and I winked back sultrily in reply. 

*End of flashback*

Shaking all the memories from my mind when I stepped out of the elevator, I clutched the handle of my suitcase more tightly. My phone rang, disrupting my train of thoughts. “Hello?”, I croakily whispered, flinching at my raspy voice.

    “It’s me, Jungkook.”, the person at the end of the receiver replied. I gulped, knowing what would come next. My heart somehow hammered against my rib cage faster when he started to speak. 

    “You do know that I love you, right?”, he started boldly, shocking me. An eccentric feeling came over me when I felt the urge to say the same words right back at him. 

    I stammered a reply in return. “Um, ye-yeah, the-that’s why-“, I was cut off by him interrupting with a loud sigh. 

    “Choose me or lose me. I’m not a backup plan and definitely not a second choice.”, he seethed, and I froze in horror. 

    “Quo-quoting lines from the internet, are we?”, I challenged. 

    “Just answer the question!”, he yelled, and tears rushed to my eyes. Damn these ambivalent feelings over two guys. When the silence had dragged on for too long, he let out a dry laugh. The sound was painful, and his voice broke halfway. 

    “I get it. I already know the answer.”, Jungkook rasped. 

    “Jungkook, I-“, I was once again interrupted when he ended the call. Blinded by frustration, I threw my phone at the wall, and jumped in sheer terror when it buzzed. 

    Tentatively picking it up, I saw that it was a message from Jungkook. “What does he want now?”, I angrily muttered. 

To: Jiyeon

Why She Stayed

He is a storm,

and storms devastate,

but every time he hurts you,

you hold your breath

and bear the hurricane;

repeating to yourself

Once more chance

One more breath

just one more,

and you’ll fix him

Until one day you can’t

hold your breath anymore, 

and you are 

half a stormy evening,

one tear stained night,

two minutes 

and five seconds

away from breaking down.

And you realise,

you cannot fix anyone,

not until you fix yourself.

-Nikita Gill

From: Jungkook

Sighing again from the anger bubbling deep within me, I hastily shoved my phone back into my bag. After stomping out and managing to catch a taxi, I stared out of the window. Awkward silence stretched for a long ten minutes, until he spoke up. 

    “Something the matter, young lady?”, the taxi driver’s deep voice rumbled, and I forced a smile at him. 

    “Everything is fine, but thank you for asking.”, I politely replied, and he nodded. 

    “Young love, eh?”, his baritone voice surprised me, along with his precise guess. 

    “How… did you know?”, I questioned, curiosity getting the best of me. 

    “Well, it’s a long story.”, he bitterly chuckled. “But let me tell you about it.” I nodded willingly, excited for his anecdote. 

    “I knew a lass, and a pretty one at that. We were best friends, practically glued to the hip. As if fate was playing with me, I fell in love with her one day.”, he cachinnated, but there was a hint of sorrow in his lively laugh. I smiled encouragingly at him, motioning for him to continue. 

    “But guess what? She fell in love with someone else.”, he sighed sadly, and I realized that his situation was the same as Jungkook’s. Only that our story was much more complicated. 

    “She fell in love so hard that all she did the whole day was stare lovingly at him. When she finally confessed to him, he… rejected her.” I let out a soft gasp at this, feeling pity for both the driver and his ‘lass’. 

    “She was so heartbroken that she committed suicide the following day. A day doesn’t go by without me wishing that if I had confessed, maybe I would’ve healed her broken heart.”, he turned to me, a smile dancing on his lips. 

    “So don’t destroy yourself because of love, or you’ll be killing someone else as well.”, he concluded, his melancholic smile masking his emotions. 

    “Thank you for sharing this with me.”, I quietly said, and smiled reassuringly at him. 

    “Goodness me! We’re here already!”, he exclaimed, and stopped the car in front of the hotel doors. As I was fumbling to get my wallet, he stopped me by placing a hand on my shoulder. “No need to pay, it has been a long time since I’ve shared that story with someone else.”

    I gasped, and frantically shook my head. “But you have been so kind to me, I wouldn’t want to-“, he cut me off again with a gentle push towards the door. 

    “Please, I insist.”, he smiled. I began to tear up, and hugged him tightly. 

    “Please live healthily.”, I begged, and exited the taxi with a small smile on my face. 

    He waved as he was leaving, and I waved back. Maybe there was still hope. Shaking the thoughts from my mind, I hardened my expression, and tightened my grasp on my bag. 

    Everyone around me had such happy smiles on their faces, reminding me of the fact that I was the only one broken within the people around me. After getting the keys to my room, I dropped all my belongings on the bed. 

    Walking over to the window, I pushed the curtains out of the way, and gasped at the scene before me. The cliff was such a long way up, but I could still see the nearly frozen ocean sparkling beneath it. 

    I stepped back warily, and crashed back into the bed. A bitter memory resurfaced into my mind, but I let myself remember it. 

*Flashback*

“Suga!”, I gleefully chirped into the phone. 

    “Hey.” was his monotone reply. It had been like this for the last few months. Him ignoring me, while I was trying to mend our broken relationship. 

    “Is everything okay? Do you think you can still make it to our date?”, I asked, worried. 

    “I’m sorry Jiyeon, but I’m busy at work, so our date has to be cancelled.”

    I smiled bitterly at his words. Little did he know that I had somewhat surmised that he was cheating on me. 

    “Fine.”, I snapped, and ended the call. I waited for him to call back, but it didn’t come. Just then, Davichi’s ‘I Want To Be Brave and Break Up’ flowed out of the radio. Such irony. 

    I now only viewed Suga as a mephistophelian person, lying to me every time we met. Deciding to take a walk to freshen my mind, I jumped out of my bed, and hastily changed into comfortable clothes. 

    As I was strolling around in the park, I saw a scene that shattered my heart into two, never to be mended again. 

    He was kissing a girl, their hands grasped tightly together. Tears that had somehow found forced themselves out of my eyes streamed down my cheeks. Even though I had suspected this, it was still gruelling to see the scene in front of me. 

    When the girl caught me crying, she frowned at me. “Who are you?”, she asked, her pretty features crunching up. Suga turned to my direction, and he froze. “Who is she?”, she now turned to him. 

    “Ju-just a random person, I guess.”, he held her hand. I chuckled bitterly when the words finally sunk into my brain. I turned away from him and the girl, and headed home. 

    As soon as I reached my bedroom, I crashed onto the bed. ‘There isn’t a proper closure to this relationship.’, I frantically thought, trying to reassure myself but the fact that he may still love me. 

    ‘Then why would he deny your relationship to the girl he was kissing?’, the other side of me that was more down-to-earth questioned the now desperate one. 

    Groaning in frustration, I let my bitter tears soak my pillow. After lying for hours on my bed doing nothing, I heard the doorbell ring. I ignored it, thinking that it was Suga, but the doorbell rang again. Suga never pressed twice, so I stumbled to open the door. 

    “Jungkook?”, I questioned, and he looked at me cheerfully. His smile dropped when he saw my tear stained face. 

    “What happened?”, he cried. Closing the door shut behind him, he led me to the couch. 

    “Su-Suga, h-he ch-cheated on m-me.”, I stammered, tears rushing back into my eyes. He sighed deeply, then growled in anger. 

    “That ba-“, Jungkook was interrupted by me pressing a finger to his lips. 

    “No swearing.”, I warned, and he suddenly hugged me. 

    “Suga loves you a lot, why would he cheat on you?”, Jungkook suddenly asked to practically no one in particular. Both of us were silent before we jumped at the doorbell. 

    Glancing cautiously at me, Jungkook pushed me back down when I tried to get up. “I’ll get it.”, he looked warily at the door. 

    To both of our surprises, no one was there when he opened the door. “Hello?”, he called, but stopped when he felt something crunch under his foot. 

    He picked it up, and headed back to me with a confused look on his face. “They’re… white roses. What do they mean?”

    My breath stopped painfully when I saw the bouquet of white roses. “Innocence.”, I choked out, muffling a sob. 

    “What?! He’s now mocking you! I’m going to kill him!”, Jungkook shot back to his feet. I grabbed his wrist before he could leave. 

    “I-I don’t want to be left alone.”, I begged, and wrapped my arms around his legs. He sighed deeply, but turned around and hugged me back. 

    “Fine.”, he grumbled. We both stayed in that position for a long time, before we both crawled onto the couch. “I’m sorry.”, he whispered, but for what reason, I couldn’t tell. I dismissed the thought, and fell asleep with each other in the other’s arms. 

    Little did we know that there were sad eyes staring at our intertwined figures the whole night.

*End of flashback*

I jumped when I heard a soft knock on the door. After opening the door, I noticed that it was room service. “May I help you with anything?”, the person asked, and I politely shook my head no. “Okay, but remember that there will be a bonfire in a few minutes!”, the person cheerfully waved. 

    I bowed back in return, and shut the door behind me. No one would notice that I wasn’t going to be there at the bonfire. 

    Packing a book with me before I left the room, I decided to write a short letter to both Jungkook and Suga. 

    After realizing that tears had stained the ink while I was writing, I wiped them away furiously. Leaving them carefully on the bed, I left the room with many emotions churning with my thoughts. 

    Walking dejectedly to a chair right in front of the cliff, I plopped into it, and opened the book. I saw many tears staining the last page. The book was about a sad love story, but it was easily the saddest story I had ever read. 

    Angrily closing the book when too many emotions surged within me, I walked over to the edge. L’appel du vide consumed me, and I took a deep breath. “Jiyeon!”, yelled a voice that I hated but loved.

    I whirled around, seeing Jungkook and Suga run frantically towards me. My eyes widened in surprise, and took a small step towards the edge. 

    “Jiyeon, don’t you dare.”, Jungkook cried, tears making their way down his cheeks. 

    “You both… why did you come?”, I asked. 

    “Does it matter? Just don’t jump!”, Suga yelled. Shocked by his loud voice, I took another step backwards, but gasped when I felt no support underneath my foot. 

    As I was falling, I felt time pass more slowly. I felt a pair of warm arms embrace me, and looked over my shoulder to see Jungkook. “What are you doing?”, I shrieked. 

    Instead of replying, he gently pressed his lips against my forehead. “I love you, Jiyeon. I’m sorry for my selfish decision”, he whispered. 

    I gasped in shock at his boldness. Before I could say anything to him, we hit the ground with me on top of him, and everything went black. 

You thought the chapter was over? Well, you’re wrong :P

_______________________________________________

I woke up, gasping desperately for air. I blinked and looked curiously at my surroundings. The whole room was white, with sunlight streaming in from the windows. ‘Where am I…?’, I thought, frowning in confusion. Everything then crashed back to me, and I wished that everything that had happened was just a dream. “No!”, I whispered, clawing at my sheets. “No!”, I repeated, scrambling out of my bed. 

    Throwing the door open, I opened every single door of the hospital rooms until I came across someone I was looking for- Jungkook. My heart wrenched in pain when I saw his frail body, lifeless. “Jungkook…”, I mumbled, rivulets of tears coursing down my face. “It isn’t funny! Wake up!”, I shouted, lunging at the motionless figure. 

    But before I could do so, two familiar cold pair of arms circled around my waist, enclosing me in a warm embrace. “Don’t Jiyeon. He-he’s dead.”, Suga’s voice cracked halfway through. 

    “He’s not!”, I rushed over to him after breaking free from Suga’s grasp. “Jungkook, it’s not funny anymore! Now open your eyes!”, I begged. When realisation finally hit me, I sank to the ground. I was captured into Suga’s arms again. 

    He led me away from the room, rubbing soothing circles roundly back. “Why am I not dead instead of him?”, I raged. “Why didn’t you stop him from falling with me, huh?”. 

    He looked me with so much emotions in his eyes, and I was surprised to see that sadness was one of them. “He knew súton was one of the emotions he regularly felt, and he couldn’t let you die instead of him.”. 

    “What about me? Don’t you think I feel compunction?”, I screamed. “You’re such an Ingnis Fatuus, leading me on! You’re still my anathema, so get away from me.”, I boldly declared. He hugged me yet again, and I squirmed in his embrace.

    Before I could rip away from his iron-clad grasp, I felt something cold roll down my neck. I touched it, and realised that it was a tear. “Suga…”, I hesitantly asked. “Are you crying?”

    “Does it look like I’m prancing around in circles right now?”, he snapped. Now that was the Suga I was used to. “His death is… a big shock for me.”

    “Why?”, I asked. “I thought you hated him.”. Suga let out a dry laugh when he heard this. 

    “Jiyeon, do you know the reason why I broke up with you?”. I shook my head. “It’s because Jungkook asked me to.”. 

    I scoffed at this. “That’s the reason? Someone asks you to break up with your girlfriend, and you obey?”. I frowned when something struck me. “But… Jungkook knew I loved you. Why would he ask you to break up with me?”. 

    “Because…”, Suga started, and I could see that he was debating on whether or not he should tell me. “you know that he loves you, right? He wanted you to be close to him. We both are very possessive.”, he smirked bitterly. “But here’s the reason why I broke up with you.”. He stood up, held my hand, and gazed deep into my eyes, 

    “Jungkook and I… we’re brothers.”, Suga mumbled. 

______________________________________________

“Maybe my love for you was a farce to you.”