“She also said she would give him a kiss if he liked, but Peter did not know what she meant, and he held out his hand expectantly.”

 

― J.M. Barrie

~

With a single roughed up coin in Seungkwan’s small hand, the two boys traveled over the hill with their hands entwined. They each wore holed, fingerless gloves that barely kept them warm and pants that they were quickly growing out of. Small boots they’d worn for too long and sweaters that they’d knitted themselves paired with ratty jackets to keep the biting cold from freezing them to death. The weather was growing colder and colder, the food becoming more and more scarce. Yet, they still wore the same hopeful look they always did.

The two of them spent all day working under the command of their house mother, traveling hut to hut in their small town to help the elders. Their reward for being such good boys was to go into town together to pick up bread for their remaining brothers.

Almost two months in, the rumors had started. Through a child’s eyes it all sounded like a game. Something he’d hear as a bedtime tale by one of the older boys in the house. But with Hansol at his side, it was like nothing bad ever existed in the world. He didn’t get sad when the other kids in the market spat at them and called them names. The ones who could afford nice fitting clothing and sparkling shoes. The ones with beautiful hair. The clean ones. He didn’t even get sad when people were beginning to speculate the bombings. Even when they said that their whole town would be gone by next winter. Seungkwan didn’t believe it, he didn’t even care. All he needed was right there beside him.

Seungkwan tightened his grip on Hansol’s hand as they passed a group of noble’s kids coming from school. The thing about living in an orphanage with other kids was that they shared a market with a good percentage of the wealthy. Hansol glared openly at them. They were about the same height, at the young age of 12. There was nothing intimidating about either of them, except Seungkwan had begun to realize that the protective glint in Hansol’s eyes is what scared them away, not anything having to do with physical appearance.

A quick tug had deterred Hansol and they were both entering the market swiftly.

"You still got the coin on ya’?” Hansol asked, glancing to and fro about Seungkwan’s body. The boy discreetly showed Hansol the coin and then hid it tightly against his palm once more. The brown haired boy grinned and shoved his arm against his love, as they had taken to calling each other in secret. Seungkwan stuck his tongue out as they neared the sweet-smelling bread stand.

The wooden shop was situated right at the edge of the market so that people would be brought in by the warm, inviting smell. The loaves sat proudly atop thin, brown-stained material. The shopkeeper shooed off unwanted poor kids, except when Hansol and Seungkwan showed up he grinned a toothy grin and waved them over. Their house mother often ventured into the market interested in bartering and trading since she didn’t trust their kids to do so. More often than not, they’d get taken advantage of. Of course, most of the people in the market pegged them as Miss Kim’s orphan kids.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite snotty brats,” he chuckled and brought out a wrap of fabric to put bread in.

Seungkwan rolled his eyes and held out the coin to the shopkeeper with a face of disdain clear in his features. Hansol smiled and pointed to a loaf in the back.

“One loaf! The freshest that you got.” He declared.

The shopkeeper hesitated for a moment and looked at the coin in Seungkwan’s outstretched hand. “Hey there, kids. Miss Kim didn’t hear the new notice?”

“What new notice?” Seungkwan asked, retracting his hand and hiding it in his pocket suspiciously. He exchanged wary glances with Hansol.

“The prices in the market have tripled since this morning. Take a look around,” he motioned with his big, hairy hands. “There’s not enough to go around anymore.”

Although kind, the shopkeeper also had to make a living. Prices had been fluctuating for a month now, yet the kids had paid no attention to how many coins Mrs. Kim had sent with them to buy food. Whether it was multiple silver coins, or a single bronze one that he currently held hidden like his most prized possession. Hansol suddenly looked down at the bread and noticed that none of them had been bought and it was already well into the afternoon.

“Listen here, I’ll give you this loaf now but you kids remember to tell Miss Kim that I’ve got a shop to run and I can’t keep handin’ out free food to runts like you who-”

Seungkwan’s lips quirked just slightly as he took out his coin and flipped it into the air as the shopkeeper scrambled to catch it.

“Thanks,” Hansol said gratefully. “We’ll tell Miss Kim.”

The shopkeeper sighed heavily and wrapped up the freshest loaf he could find, knowing it would be the last one the kids would be able to afford for a long time. He handed it to Hansol and told him to hide it in his jacket on the way back.

The two of them didn’t bother to walk through the market like they usually did. It was too bad, because that was Seungkwan’s favorite thing to do with Hansol during their free time. Hansol didn’t look at Seungkwan or even speak to him until they were over the hill and out of the market-place.

“What’s with you?” Seungkwan asked and rubbed his cold hands together. Hansol kept walking fast, without looking back. “Hey! You okay?”

"You think things are getting worse?”

“What’s that mean?”

“I mean, just look! We have to hide our food now!” Hansol glanced around at their surroundings and then pulled his coat closer to himself with the warm bread tucked in. “Not to mention that we could barely pay for it to begin with!”

Seungkwan looked at his empty hand sadly. That was all he could think about now. That maybe this situation they were in was going to separate the two of them. Perhaps their house mother would work them more and more until they could barely see each other until they slept. Then when they did sleep they would be so tired they wouldn’t be able to talk with each other, lay with each other. Even too tired to dream of one another.

In this dirty world, maybe bad things could happen.

He stopped Hansol from walking and looked into his eyes. Although the boy kept one hand securely on the bread loaf, the other was hanging there limply, ready for Seungkwan to grab hold of it. He laced their fingers together and then leaned over to kiss Hansol on the cheek sweetly. The boy blushed heavily and suddenly forgot about everything. All of his worries were gone.

“Whatever happens, even if things do get worse. I’ll still be here with you.”

He smiled at him, so brightly that the snow around them sparkled as though sunlight has just shone down on them.

“Promise?” Hansol asked.

“I promise.”