Click. Click.

The sounds of Jihoon clicking the mouse mindlessly. He’s been alternating only from the dorm and the studio ever since the incident, too afraid to face Seungcheol.

The guy had been trying to create a tune for a new song, but it seemed impossible.

Without Seungcheol, it feels as if he’s unable to create music at all. 

Seungcheol was his muse, and will always be.

He then blankly stares at his phone. It was filled up with notifications from the other members, as always, but it felt empty to Jihoon.

He was so used to seeing his phone light up to see the leader’s name, hence the emptiness he’s feeling now. 

The guy would often message him each two hours, checking up on him. Jihoon used to find it annoying and much of a bother, but now, it was all he wanted to see.

He didn’t notice the fact that Seungcheol had affected his life deeply.

The guy buried his face into his hands for the nth time, letting out a frustrated groan.

He misses Choi Seungcheol, and he admits it.

Jihoon thought he was an independent guy, but the lack of Seungcheol’s existence in his life now proves him wrong.

He had grown too attached to the guy without himself noticing. He felt as if now he had no one to lean on for support, no one to check up on him.

Seungcheol was his pillar, keeping him up when he feels as if he was going to fall.

But it seems as if he took it all for granted, he hadn’t treat Seungcheol in the way he was supposed to be. 

Seungcheol gave him all his love and support, all his time and his care. Yet, Jihoon didn’t reply to any of those. 

I’m a jerk. I don’t deserve him.

Jihoon once again, let the tears flow down with his feelings, thanking god that the walls were soundproof.

After the round of tears, Jihoon is once again mindlessly staring off into a blank space. His eyes were swollen, the sleeves of his sweater was wet, and his surroundings are unkempt.

I’m a mess, a pitiful mess.

He lets out a small bitter laugh at himself, not one bit of amusement nor happiness can be heard in it.

But he won’t let Seungcheol go just like this, he couldn’t.

He knows he’s most probably immature and selfish in this moment; wanting something back after you’ve taken it for granted. Despite the thought, he still won’t change his mind. 

Seungcheol was too precious for him to let go just like that. He was planning on making a song for Seungcheol, with nothing but him inside his thoughts and heart.

Therefore, he made a bet with himself. 

If Seungcheol listens to it and accepts it, I swear to myself that I will make more time for him. 

But if he doesn’t listen to it nor accept it, I’ll let go of him, no matter how hard it would be. 

And with that, he regains his focus to create a melody for his loved one.