O7
Days Of Old

How close she was to him and yet he couldn't touch her. She was intangible, unreachable and his fingers itched to brush her pink, soft-looking cheeks. Oh, he knew heck that he couldn't.

Having went too far to meet the janitor for permission to use the cleaning scaffold, although risky, Taehyung did it for the both of them; he didn't want their relationship to end and he was also sorry for Hyemi for asking her to do things that he had no idea how complicated they were for her to do. 

Her words hurt him but he didn't want it to get the better of him — he stayed positive. He wanted to believe that she can be freed. 

And she can. 

Her fair skin was glowing and there was a spark in her eyes. She seemed like she had been crying before his arrival. 

“You, , how?!” She started, a perturbed look plastered on her face. 

Taehyung didn't even pay attention to what she meant as he was completely stunned to how cute and high-pitched her voice is. It also sounds matured in a curious way. “Taehyung!”

Say his name one more time, he’d like to ask from her. 

“You idiot! This is dangerous! Hey, can you hear me? Can you hear me from there?” 

He only nodded as a reply, his gaze was fixed at her appearance. Do angels exist? Might as well yes. 

“Are you sure-! Oi!” She clutched her bath robe and glared at him. “Aren't you a ert?!” 

“I’m sorry that I’m a man grown to have a ual appetite and you’re a woman that is, like, super attractive,” he said with a grin. She frowned and that distressed him. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. And yes, this is dangerous. I’m an idiot but I just can't help it! I want to be able to help you because I-!” He cut his own words, a little bit taken aback. 

“Taehyung? Because you what?” 

When she told him that she didn't want to be with him, he felt so hurt and he couldn't feel his breath — he thought he died. When she closed her curtains and he was just speechless, he figured that that was the end of it. He didn't even know what to say because that was the straw. What was the use of trying to communicate with each other if she didn't even want to get anywhere close to him? 

But, then, what was the reason he talked to her at the first place? Why did he even wanted to get to know her? Why? 

He stayed there like a statue for almost half an hour, staring at the glass window covered by a light-shade-of-blue-colored curtains with no sign of Hyemi around. 

And somehow deep inside him, there was already an answer and he kept trying to find out what it was. 

Why this whole thing started? 

Moving slightly his head to look at his whiteboard, he figured it out. 

Everything started wasn't because of love at first sight or just him being weird.

Everything started because he lived. 

And why he lived?

‘To venture worlds and right now, I am venturing yours.’

He blinked for a few times. Everything started because he wanted to venture her world but how he did it was wrong because the right way to do it is by seeing her world in her eyes. He was wrong to ask her to do things that maybe just beyond her power.

It took him almost an hour to decide what he should do to preserve their relationship. When he went to the janitor and asked if he could use the scaffold, he had to explain the whole story from the very beginning to the old man and his wife – who lived just at the other side of the road, facing the apartment blocks – and the couple teared up for his story as they were touched at how courageous Taehyung was to fix his relationship with Hyemi. 

“Young man, I am thoroughly impressed at how willing you are to give everything for love but this is dangerous — your life can be at risk!” The 40-year old man – the janitor whose jet hair was combed to the back and eyes narrowed – told him. “If anything happens to you, I’ll get fired!” 

“I know but I still want to go,” said Taehyung. 

“Here,” the janitor’s wife – who was slightly large in size with curly dark hair – brought a piece of paper – that Taehyung had asked for –  and gave it to him. He scribbled words on the paper as though he was writing his death will. “If anything bad happens, this is what you give to the officials. I’ve a copy of my ID somewhere,” he paused and pulled out the copy – that was a spare one he crumpled after using the original copy for his college assignment – from his backpack, placing it on the coffee table, “Here. I’ve signed the paper. I’m sure everything’s alrigh-!”

“You really love this girl, don't you?” Cut the woman who was sitting right next to her husband. Taehyung was a bit stunned at her sudden question but he tried not to express it on his face. The couple was facing him, waiting for his answer. 

Does he love her? Or he was doing this just because he wanted to truly venture her world? 

He hated being unsure of things but he figured he wasn't going to run away this time. He decided he won't lie, “I’m unsure about that — it’s complicated. I just don't understand what my true intentions are. I can't figure out my own feelings. I… Do I love her? How do I know if I do? But I want to fix things with her. I don't want… I don't want things to end for us–!”

He stopped himself and looked at the couple whose brows were furrowed. They looked at each other with a bothered expression and then at him. He stood and looked at them with a forced smile, “Anyway, will you show me how to use the thing?”

The janitor got up as well and without warning, he clasped his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder and said, “Life is way more  beautiful than you think because it is created by mixing other beautiful things that you can ever imagine.” 

Taehyung couldn't really think of a good reply to that so he waited for the elder to continue. But only after a while of silence did the elder started speaking again. 

“Sometimes, the answer is already there before you can even question yourself.” The man pat his shoulder a few times. “You’ll figure it out. Come, dear Romeo, I’ll show you how to use your stage.” 

That is how he got to where he was now. The janitor’s words from before was recalled back and if before he couldn't grasp the meaning of them, he have grasped them now. 

“Taehyung! Hey! What is it? What were you about to say?” Hyemi voiced out through the glass wall. She pushed away the curtains aside to get a better look of the wideness of the scaffold which was one-third of her apartment. 

He observed her, snapping out of his own thoughts and beamed. “I care about you, Hyemi.” 

“What?”

“I care about you.”

His word caused her eyes to widened. It was not a lie. He realized he does love her and he also does want to know her world. 

It was both all along; a mix of feelings. 

And at once, when he realized this, and accepted it, he felt great. Somehow, he felt like he have finally broken his mask – his lies – that he thought was impossible to peel off as it have conquered his whole existence. He peered into her eyes as he told himself that this girl could help him break his mask completely; she could help him be himself. 

The half moon was bright in the dark sky above them joint by stars that were unreachable. The cold autumn air didn't bother the young man holding onto the platform, ogling the girl behind the glass. There were tears forming in her eyes and he couldn't do anything but watch her cry. 

Her body was trembling and her knees slowly slipped onto the floor. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed. 

“I thought my words should be making you happy,” Taehyung frowned and crouched down to her height, his movement slightly quaked his ground but he made sure that his fear wouldn't appear on his face so that Hyemi wouldn't be worried. 

“They… They do. I'm just touched,” she cried. “You’ve said… something I’ve always… I’ve always wanted to hear from people.” 

Agh, he wanted to hug her so bad. It aggravated him to not being able to do anything but watch. He was a man of action, he told himself in his mind. 

“Thank you, Taehyung,” she sniffled and stood. “Thank you.” 

At that moment, he saw something he would describe as miraculous; she was smiling, her face was bright and glowing, and her tear-filled eyes were twinkling. He got up and as he moved forward to touch her, he hit his head onto the transparent wall to which he have forgotten its existence for a moment ago. He stumbled and the cleaning scaffold rocked slightly. Quickly, he balanced himself and turned to Hyemi who looked totally freaked out. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?!” She exclaimed. “Y-you should go back down. Do you even know how to do-!”

“Shh!” He shushed her, cutting her, and she shut herself, her lips tightened against each other. “I’m going to be alright.”

“As long as I’m with you, I know I’ll be alright.” 

“Hyemi?” 10-year old Taehyung searched for the younger girl in the crowded street. The sun was almost setting and he just found out that Hyemi have disappeared from his sight. 

How could she left him drooling at some tasty looking fruits without a word? Looking at that back embarrassed him. 

Ah, he hated festivals, and also the crowd, and also being lost. He wanted to cry so bad. 

He was alone. He looked up at the sky that was darkening. Even if he called out for Hyemi’s name, his voice was naturally soft — plus, he was shy. Geez, he felt weak. He was weak then with Hyemi and weaker now without her. Despite being two years older than her, he depended on her a lot as she was his polar opposite; bold, daring, adventurous and loud. 

Suddenly, the lights flickered on one-by-one and it was a wonderful sight. Taehyung turned around to follow them and surprisingly, he found her. She was being held by an old couple with one hand with the husband and the other with the wife. But most importantly, she was crying. 

It wasn't really uncommon for Taehyung to see her cry but usually, she wouldn't be crying because she needed him. This time, though, she ran to him and hugged tightly his little body, crying, “Y-you left me!”

“No, you left me!” He corrected her, furiously. “Thank god that nothing bad happened to you!” 

More like, thank god nothing happened to him, he figured that to himself. 

Hyemi ignored him and continued to sob in their hug, “Don't ever leave me! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

She balled her fist and started the little boy’s chest a few times. “Ow! Ow! Ow! Alright! Geez!”

She parted herself away from him and there was snot attached on his shirt. 

“Ew!!”

Thank you to those of you who care to even PM-ed me about this story! It’s wonderful to know that people are actually loving what I write. 

Like a week ago, there were people who subscribed then later undo it. I felt really down for it and being the type of person who would occasionally blame herself, I blamed my poor writing skills — I thought this story must be that bad for them. But when I checked out my foreword, and of course didn't missed the ‘To the ones who care, cheers’ thing, well, that helped me, actually. Those words reminded me why I'm writing this story. 

 I write for myself and for those who cares which means for you guys who are still here. 

Those words that I figured I’ve written out in the foreword just for fun… turns out meaningful to me. I guess that’s what missing for authors out there with their hiatus stories — they’ve forgotten why they write. But not only just for writers, for everyone to be honest! Sometimes we feel down about life so we put on a hiatus status — this is because we have forgotten why we live, why we do things… Similar to how Taehyung was in this chapter. So always write somewhere the reason why you do this and that, and whenever you feel unmotivated, return to your reason.

Trump won :/