-Vminatic (Sep 13, 2016 02:34:40) says about chapter 3: [REVIEW FORM]

Author's name: -Vminatic
Author's link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/389373
Story title: Four Seasons
Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1075046/four-seasons-angst-oneshot-bts-bangtanboys-taehyung-kimtaehyung
Main characters: Kim Taehyung x OC
Poster link: -
Description: A story written in Taehyung's POV, with him slowly finding out that he had been lied to the whole time.
Genre: angst
Rated: 13
Reviewer: sanda59
Password: Butterfly
Anything else: please focus on the feelings and grammar!
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Title - 7/10
The title is concise, which is something I always recommend and it is also a good representation of the content of your story, however, to me, personally, it felt a little bland? I felt like it's a given that there are four seasons and that it didn't leave a very lasting impression, but that is all a matter of preference and there is nothing theoretically wrong with your title. :)

Description/Foreword - 7/10
So, I noticed that there is only a description and no foreword and that the description is divided into two different parts. I feel that the second part, the one that uses the seasons as metophors should precede the first part as the first few words are what the readers can see before they click on a story and the second part just fits better with your title and is, in my opinion, more appealing than the first. Both are well written though and seem very poetic, so good job. You can also move the first part to the foreword, if you want, along with the credits and author's note.

Plot - 11/15
Okay, the story started out well and was very intriguing. You had a clear objective in mind and it was interesting to see how Taehyung slowly realized that his girlfriend was cheating on him. The pacing was good too. However, I felt that your ending was a little anti-climatic. I know it was always meant to end with him being unable to stop loving her but as the protagonist, I think he deserved a little more resolution.

Characterization - 11/15
You asked me to pay special attention to the characters' feelings, so I will try to fulfill your needs. :) Your wrote a very convincing narrative with Taehyung's thoughts being well-detailed and the way his body reacted to the shocking revelation and grief seemed very natural. A few things seemed a little exaggerated to me, for example, I didn't quite understand how he was able to miss school for a whole month without any obvious reprimandations. I think I would've liked to see him cope a little better too. Since this was a one-shot, I won't really complain about Taehyung being the only established character and everyone else just feeling like names without faces and personalities, but I think the girlfriend at least could've used a little more description and detail.

Spelling & Grammar - 15/20
Your spelling was fine but there were a few mistakes with your grammar, mainly regarding tenses. For example, in your openeing paragraph, you wrote 'like it just came and go'. You mixed a past tense with a present tense, it should be 'like it just came and went'. In the next sentence, you used 'blur' incorrectly, if it was meant to be used as a noun, 'a' should've preceded it and if it was meant to be used as a verb, it should have been 'blurred' as in the past tense, given the sentence. There are other mistakes with tenses too, so you should focus on correcting those. Your use of commas and the way you wrote dialogues was perfectly acceptable.

Writing Style - 20/25
You have a lovely writing style, it is very sweet and poetic. You describe things adequately and then balance it with good dialogue, which is great. I was a little put off with the way you switched to the first flashback, I felt writing 'it started out like this...' kind of ruins the beauty of thinking back a little. But overall, you write really well.

Personal Enjoyement - 2.5/5
I am not a fan of angst and sad endings have their toll on me lol but I enjoy reading stories written from a boy's perspective since they seem to be rarer than those written from a girl's.

Total - 73.5/100
This was a good one-shot and you are a promising writer and I wish you good luck and hope that you become even better with time. ^^ Thank you for requesting a review from me at ILaria!