5. I Can’t!

Jinyoung finally calmed himself down after a half hour or something and there were then he thought of Mark. He heads to the older room and knocked the door, but no one answered, he tried again, but there were the same, not a single word or sound came out of the room

‘It’s he asleep? Did he fell asleep while waiting? Maybe he is listening to music and have his earphones on that's why he didn’t hear the knock or is he angry that’s why he doesn’t want to open?’ Jinyoung though and slowly opens the door to the older room. Mark were leaning on the bed back facing the door. Jinyoung squad down on knees beside the older bed and facing the older. Mark wasn’t sleeping because he has his eyes open staring at the younger, he didn’t have his earphones on either, Jinyoung knew that the older were upset of what happened earlier.  Jinyoung puts his hand on the older face his cheek with his tump.

“I’m sorry did you wait long?” Jinyoung asked after a long silence

“What did you guys talk about?” Mark asked, he wanted to know

“I….I….can’t…..” Jinyoung stuttered and before the younger could finish his sentence the older just turned around back facing the younger

“I’m sorry hyung…..” Jinyoung apologised and the older can hear some sob from the younger, he turned around right away and met a crying Jinyoung. He didn’t except the younger to start crying, it made him more curious about Jinyoung and JB’s conversation

“Why are you crying?” Mark asked and hurried squad down to hug the younger

“I don’t know what to do hyung…..” Jinyoung said and cried harder, the older rubbed the younger’s back and tried to comfort

“What did he say? Why are you so upset Jinyoungie? Tell me, please tell me so I can help you” Mark asked worried, he scared of JB hurt Jinyoung

“I don’t know what to do hyung….” Jinyoung repeated what he said earlier and Mark knew that the younger can’t tell him right know so he decided to give Jinyoung some time

“It’s okay Jinyoungie, it’s okay, if you can’t tell me know, we can wait to later when you have calmed down” Mark said still hugging and comforting the younger and Jinyoung just nodded his head

“Can I cuddle with you tonight?” Jinyoung lifted his head and asked

“Of course you can, come here” Mark said and helped the younger up, they leaned on the small bed and Mark have his arm wrapped around the younger, Jinyoung were back facing Mark and has his head on the older arm as a pillow.

‘Thank you hyung, you always make me calm and safe…...thank you…. I love you……I do…’ Jinyoung said in his mind and closed his eyes.

‘What happened Jinyoungie? Did he hurt you or did he confess to you? Are you going to break up with me? That’s why you don’t know what to do? Can I really not become the same as JB in your heart?’ Mark asked in his mind, too scared to ask it loud, to ask Jinyoung. The older close is eyes and flashback what happened before the younger came in the room

FLASHBACK

“Mark….” Mr. Park started when Mark were on the way back to his room “can I have a word with you?”

“Sure Mr. Park…..” Mark said and sat on the couch in front of the younger’s father

“You have been living with us for a while now and I know that Jinyoung become close to you, I know that you guys are more like friends then master and slave or whatsoever. But I just want to remind you that we just hired you so you can return the money your dad owes me, and when the day comes that you have returned everything you will leave. Jinyoung is nice, warm hearted and kind, he is nice to you just because he felt sympathy towards you, that you lost your parents. I want you to remember that you are not his friend, but a slave or butler and you should have the distance, you can never become as close as JB to Jinyoung, I don’t want that to happen either…...” Mr. Park said and Mark looked down

“I understand Mr. Park….” Mark said and felt his tears will be running down soon, he wants to leave a soon as possible

“Good, you can go now….” Mr. Park said and Mark quickly went inside his room, when he was inside his room he leans on his bed and the tears fell down his cheek

END OF FLASHBACK

‘How can I distance myself from you?’ Mark asked himself in his mind and slowly fell asleep

………..

Mark woke up from some sob and he could feel that the younger were shivering, the older turns Jinyoung around to face him and he sees that the younger is crying, Mark hugs the younger tightly and rubbed Jinyoung’s back to comfort. It was middle of the night and there were still dark outside, after a while the older can feel that the younger have calmed down. Jinyoung slowly brooked the hug and cupped the older face, the younger leaned closer and pecked the older on the lisp, not once but again and again. Mark widen his eyes and were confused, Jinyoung never start a skinship, it was always Mark, no matter if it was holding hands, a peck or a kiss, it was always Mark who starts it. The older stopped the younger from kissing him again and looked at him

“Why you did that? Don’t scare me Jinyoungie, is this the last kiss? Are you going to break up with me?” Mark asked worried, Jinyoung shook his head and kissed the older one more time before he start his talk

“Do you want to know what JB-hyung told me?” Jinyoung asked and Mark nodded his head

“He was mad and asked me why I choose to accept you and reject him…….and he kissed me……I kissed him back too….” Jinyoung said and the tight hold on the younger from Mark were gone

“Don’t be mad and let me explain….” JInyoung started and the older nodded again “I thought that I kissed him back because I like him or love him, he was my first crush, the first person I fell I love with…...I….”

“Let’s stop here Jinyoung-ah…...if you are going to break up with me and be with JB just said it, don’t tell me the details, I don’t want to know how much you love him” Mark broke the younger’s sentence and was about to stands up from the bed, but Jinyoung stopped him. Jinyoung cupped the older face to make Mark face him

“I kissed him back because I was curious, curious of kissing my first crush, the first one I fell for, but the kiss told me that I don’t like him like before anymore…..I don’t love him anymore, I won’t break up with you and go back to JB-hyung, I can’t……because I love you, your kiss were different, when I were kissing you I want to kiss more and are eager to slide my tongue inside your mouth to make out with you….but when I kissed JB-hyung back, I quickly wanted to end the kiss…..I wanted to kiss you, only you…..” Jinyoung said and Mark teared up, but it was tears of joy. The older holds the younger’s hand that were cupped his face, Mark leaned closer and kissed the younger. Jinyoung responded the kiss and none of them wanted to stop.