Between class and work at the ice cream shop and making sure my father slept more than a wink and Ariel stayed out of trouble and practice with Jiae for the trainees and practice with Sungkyung for my final project, the trip to LA naturally snuck up on me. Before I knew it, I was on a plane heading somewhere I’d never been before.

Of course, I’d been to the States to visit my maternal grandparents before, but I’d never stepped foot out of the state of New York. That was all I knew of America.

‘Don’t worry. I’m here in LA. You can’t get lost with me in your head,’ Joshua reassured.

Thanks, I replied, and took a deep breath.

The stewards were explaining the safety procedures, but the animation on the screens were a lot easier to see. I followed along from there.

Nothing in the video mentioned anything about thunderstorm procedures, which didn’t help to calm me down.

‘What happened to ‘it’s less likely to get hit twice’?’ Joshua asked. He wasn’t teasing. I appreciated that.

It wasn’t likely to get hit in the first place, I said simply, shuddering at how much I sounded like my mother.

I occupied myself with the crossword puzzle in the magazine in the pouch in front of me. When that was finished, I threw on a kids movie as background noise to fall asleep to. I woke up for food, and fell back asleep as soon as they collected the empty trays and woke up again a few hours later. My body was stiff from sleeping in a sitting position for so long. I got up to go to the bathroom, and shook out my limbs.

I washed my face and returned to my seat. I rewatched the choreography video for My Copycat that I had downloaded to my phone, to refresh my memory but also just to pass the time. My TV screen had automatically gone back to the flight stats, and was showing that I had 2 hours to go.

Joshua was probably still asleep, and I didn’t want to really pry or wake him up. I flipped through the photos on my phone. I hadn’t even noticed but apparently Kyla had taken selfies on my phone with Sungyeon. I could be seen in the back, reading over some papers. I smiled. It warmed my heart to see Kyla on the road to recovery. Then came photos of Ariel that my mom had sent our family group chat. Her light brown hair blew in all directions as she swung. Sungkyung’s latest busking gig photos were next. Jiae and I had danced next to her to whatever she sang when we stopped by on our way to Pledis that day.

“What would you like to drink?” asked a steward with a smile.

“Can I get a coffee with cream?” I replied.

I thanked him and took my drink. I needed to get rid of my sluggishness. Hmm. Maybe I could ask Joshua for his permission to throw my sluggishness on him just while I’m in LA. Then again, I’m not sure if that’s how this even works.

How does any of it work?

I got up to actually use the bathroom about a half hour after the coffee, and soon after that we were descending anyway.

I had only my carry-on so I didn’t have to wait for any luggage, though I would have enjoyed the stall time so I didn't have to face the dread of being alone in an unfamiliar city.

I exited through the automatic doors and heard someone on my right shriek. I whipped my head in that direction just in time to see Sungyeon jump up and down and wave. Beside her was an equally excited but decidedly less jumpy Kyla holding up a sign that read, “Dance Queen Alice Kwon".

I laughed and jokingly covered my face, pretending not to know them, before making my way over and giving them both a hug.

Sungyeon took my luggage and Kyla linked her arm with mine. “How was your flight?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I slept for most of it,” I said. I was relieved that they were here. At least I wasn’t alone. “I didn’t know I’d be getting a welcome.”

“Jisoo-oppa picked us up from our hotel a couple hours ago, and now he’s waiting in the car for us,” Kyla told me with a giggle.

“Joshua is awake?” I asked them, ignoring her laugh because I didn’t want to start that conversation.

‘You never bothered to check if I was sleeping when you thought I was.’

Sungyeon sighed loudly. “When will a man ever be this romantic to me?” she asked with a sly grin.

I pointed a warning finger at her. “Hey now. This isn’t romanticism, this is friendship.”

‘No, it’s romanticism.’

Shut up. I couldn't keep myself from smiling, though.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Kyla teased.

“I’m older than both of you!” I groaned.

I squinted when I stepped into direct sunlight for the first time in hours. I let Kyla, who was wearing shades, guide me to the car. Joshua got out to open the trunk so Sungyeon could put my one bag in, then hurried to my side to give me a hug, and he snuck a kiss on the crown of my head and moved away to open my door just fast enough for me not to land a quick punch.

The two girls sat quietly in the back on our way out of the labyrinth that was LAX airport.

“Are you tired?” Josh asked me. I shook my head. “Jinhee wants to meet you.”

I pointedly looked myself over, and then back at him. I was not fit for meeting someone now.

Keeping his eyes on the road, for the most part, he tucked a strand of my messy hair behind my ear. “You look fine, Alice.”

He took my hand in his and rested them both on the gear shift between us. I heard teenaged giggles coming from behind us. Glancing up to them through the mirror on my sun visor, they were staring at one phone, giggling at whatever was on the screen. Sungyeon noticed an especially pretty part of the landscape and hurried to show Kyla. Josh saw me looking at them and gave my hand a squeeze.

‘Would it be weird to say I kind of feel like we’re somehow their parents?’ he asked me.

I shook my head. Not at all, I feel that way too. Especially with Kyla.

“Hey, Mom--" Kyla started, quickly correcting herself. “I mean, Alice? Can we get smoothies?”

I glanced at Josh and he smiled back. “Sure,” I said, “anything for my daughter.” I turned my head and gave her a wink, and she hid her face behind her hands.

“Hey,” Sungyeon whined, nudging her groupmate’s shoulder. “She’s my mom, too!”

“Kids, no fighting,” called Josh, and we all burst into a fit of chuckles.

***

We all got our smoothies through a drive-thru, and then went to drop Kyla and Sungyeon off to their hotel. They exchanged a quick reminder of tomorrow’s itinerary with Alice and then parted ways with smiles and waves.

Alone in the car, Alice pouted at me. “Do we really have to visit Jinhee now? When I look like this?”

“I promise, it’ll be a quick visit. Like, 15 minutes, tops.” I held out my pinky finger in a show of sincerity and she sighed as she linked it with hers. “And for the record you look as great as you always have.”

She looked herself over in the mirror once more, and undid her ponytail just to do it again. Then she undid it yet another time and ruffled her hair a bit. “Okay, okay. I look good enough. Let’s go!”

I chuckled and put the car back in drive to pull out of the hotel parking lot.

She rolled her window all the way down and stuck her head out of the window, feeling the warm autumn air through her hair and I felt every tingle just as strongly. I went as fast as the speed limit allowed me to just so she could get more wind.

Am I in love with her?

“Whoa,” she said suddenly, smile gone and head back inside the car. “Please remember I can hear your thoughts.”

Yikes.

“Yeah,” she agreed. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Try not to fall in love with me so fast. You are an idol after all.”

I laughed. “Good to have your confidence back, Miss Kwon, but what does my occupation have to do with my potential relationships?”

“A lot. A whole gosh darn lot, Mr Hong,” she said matter-of-factly. “All of the secrets. All of the hiding. So stressful!”

Realization dawned on me. “You’ve dated an idol before.”

“Yup,” she said with a curt nod. “My last relationship. His agency forced us to break up when he debuted, but we continued to date in secret for a whole year after the fact. And by the end, we hardly even had a relationship to keep secret.”

I nodded, taking all that in. Then, simply out of curiosity, I asked, “So what were you expecting to come out of this?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same thing for the past few days.”

I put my hand on her thigh, palm up, as an invitation for her to hold it. She did. “I know what you went through was rough, but no one is rushing us to do anything. We’ll take it slow.”

Alice smiled. “I’d like that,” she told me.

Jinhee was waiting for us just outside their door. She gave Alice a huge hug, and then one to me, too. “It’s so good to finally meet you!” she said.

Alice smiled, and I know she was feeling awkward. “Good to meet you too,” she said.

“Come on in, the others are waiting to see you, too.”

“Others?” Alice asked, looking at me in panic before being yanked inside. I followed.

“Josh didn’t say? He has actual friends here,” Jinhee teased.

Alice snickered, finally relaxing a little. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Come on, guys,” I groaned.

Alice held gingerly onto the crease of my elbow, and her skin on mine felt cool and refreshing. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Jinhee didn’t seem to notice. When we finally got to their unit, the door was already open.

“Hi!” said Thalia, waving ecstatically. “You must be the girl Jenny’s told us all about!”

I rolled my eyes and shot the look to Jinhee, who shrugged and didn't even look at me. “Bigmouth here must have told you all, but anyway this is Kwon Alice.”

Alice herself flicked my forehead. “I have a mouth, I can introduce myself.”

Hana’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Oh my God, I love her already.” She reached out and grabbed Alice’s hands, pulling her inside.

‘Is it customary for you people to not let me use my own two legs to get places?’ she asked me exasperatedly.

I laughed. Inside, I introduced everyone to her in our heads.

Blonde girl is Thalia. She is dating Jinhee’s older brother Jaeson, who is one of my best friends. The other girl is Hana