this title is inspired by a line from sara bareilles' song "love song".

you see, it's not everyday that anyone gets to turn the table. that's me. i'm not used to that feeling yet. but here it came, even i didn't know how it came to be this way. it seems that 'mister goldilocks', who was taking me for a stalker of his, is now the one who can't stand being ignored and avoided. by who else? but yours truly here.

everything certainly changed in a matter of days, not even a week. but more so, he's been showing a little less attitude by the day. i'd look from afar, and yes. there i see him, looking at nothing. staring blankly. i don't know if he even gets to think for one second. he's been looking so problematic lately. i'm puzzled why he became so 'soft' all of a sudden. i'm kinda stuck between losing interest and wanting to hog him all day. he hasn't been getting into my nerves as much as he did the first few days since i saw him.

today, it looks like i'm a blank page (as the title suggests). i can't count on my instincts yet to help me make a conclusion about why he's been acting the total opposite of how i perceive him as. can anyone change himself so rapidly? i'm starting to think this person may not be human at all. first of all, he pushes me away. now, he's trying to get himself closer to me. what's up with that? 

i hear the sound of somebody getting off a car, maybe a few meters from the front of my house. "why's he getting out of that car looking like a celebrity covering up his face?", i tell myself. i live with my bestfriend, ye-jin, and believe me, she doesn't know a thing about what's been happening to me despite the fact that we live in the same house. but for some reason, she spotted me looking inside the front window, hiding myself from being caught in the act. "ya int'rested in him aren't ya?", she whispers in my ear as she sneaked up on me. "no!~ hell no!~", i got mad at the thought (yeah, i'm going out of my way to lie about this, because i don't really want anyone to find out. it feels like a guilty pleasure for me.) ye-jin sneaks in to take a quick peek from where i'm looking. "oh my God! you know him?", she exclaims. now this is getting creepy, why the surprised question about that? is he a public figure? nah! nonsense. no public figure acts that way.

"why's he here? is he hiding? is he taking time off from his career?", she adds. i don't know where this is supposed to go, but i swear i heard 'career' in there somewhere. "who is he?", i ask her thoughtlessly. "lee jeong-min.", she answers. "how did you know him?", yeah stupid me. i said i'd be avoiding anything about him, but no, i kept asking such pointless questions. "you don't know him? he's like the most popular korean wave singer nowadays. he's always in the news.". uhm, excuse me, but i don't watch the news. i'd rather waste my time getting rid of all these busted calories. man, ,my thighs are stacking up and i'm not even at full speed binging yet. i'm bursting out laughing by myself at the thought. i don't really believe it. was that a joke?

i leave her sitting on the couch, and went outside for some fresh air. there goes a cockroach tottering, and i couldn't care any less. i'm not in the mood today to kill it with my foot. but wait, there's more. i see gold, curly hair behind the bushes by the sidewalk. then i go closer and "surprise!". "aaahhh!~", he screams so loud that it's almost as if he peed his pants for a moment there. the cockroach went to our direction (they say cockroaches are scared of people, but why do they go towards us when they know we see them? can someone tell me?). hahahahaha! i was laughing my off. this person's so frickin' scared of a cockroach. i mean, really, i think all 174cm (i'm not so sure. but i think so.) of him fled at the sight of a 3 gram cockroach. haha! eureka!~ now i know i how i'd scare the daylights out of him next time he tries to annoy me.

the 'truth' has been bugging me lately, he doesn't look like anyone who ye-jin told me he is. is she just playing with my thoughts? she must've seen my interest and decided to pull off a prank on me for some reason. i don't know diary, a little more and i must be on my way to going insane like them, too.>.<

so it goes, i don't show anybody what my thoughts are. no one should know. i want them to be intrigued with not knowing anything about me. i don't plan on giving myself away that easily. yeah, he still stares blankly in an oblivious way. he still does that. if he comes near me, that's the cockroach's job. come to think of it, my life's been lame before he came into the picture. although, i think it's still drab, it's better than my daily routine without him.

*haha, my chapters are just short. but maybe this'll keep everyone from reading too long and getting them bored in the process. i say maybe i'd be able to make a ton of chapters. just wait until my nuts and bolts are all oiled up again. i'll get my gears fixed up. ta-ta for now. i'll update later. :3