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Taemin woke up with dried tears still staining his face. 

"" he sighed, remembering the events of last night. 

He didn't want to face them. Not after what had happened. They all knew that he mutilated his skin, and his insides. Taemin sighed, sitting up from his small bed. He was thankful that he was the only that didn't share a room. He walked over to his door and locked it shut, stopping anyone from barging in. He sank to the floor, too tired to make it back to his bed. Once again, he began to cry. Never ending tears flew from his eyes. 

"Taemin?" Minho knocked on the door, making Taemin jump off of the ground and back away from the door. Minho was rattling the door knob rather hard. 

"Taemin! Open the door!" Minho was now banging on the door, making the frail Taemin shutter. 

"No." Taemin managed to stutter out as he sunk back onto the ground. 

"Taemin please" He begged. 

"Hyung leave me alone!" Taemin shrieked throwing the closest item to him at the door. 

Days like these happened around once a month. Taemin would lock himself in his room for the entire day, not coming out for food or even their schedules. Shinee, being to afraid to say anything, would let him be, not realizing that he was slowly killing himself behind those doors. But, today was not one of those days. Now that they confirmed their suspicions they would not let him leave their sights. 

"Taemin if you don't come out in calling the manager." Jinki spoke harshly through the door. 

This only made Taemin sob. He didn't want this. He just wanted to be alone for the rest of time. 

"Taemin get out of your room right now!" Jinki was now yelling. He had always thought Jinki was a bit scary, but this terrified him. 

"Hyung I can't" Taemin spoke softly. 

"What? Are you ok? Come on Taeminnie tell me please." Jinki instantly softened his voice after hearing the poor boys voice. 

Taemin only replied with a broken cry, which sent shivers down Jinki's spine. 

"Taemin open it please..." He whispered. 

Seconds later the door clicked open, revealing a crying Taemin. Jinki rushed in, instantly hugging the boy. 

"Please don't do that again, you scared me." He whispered, a tear trickling down his face. 

Taemin felt guilt rise in his chest, suffocating him. It killed him to see how much he was worrying the other members. He thought about getting better, not disappointing the others. Then he thought about how much progress he needs to make. How much weight he needed to lose so that people would actually notice him. They would see how perfect he was. Without realizing it, he burst into tears again. He knew he was fat. He knew he needed to get better. And yet he couldn't decide which one would benefit him the most.