- Jackie’s POV -

I fell silent. I didn’t know what to say. Should I tell her?

After a lot of thought I decided to keep it to myself, but I still had to answer her somehow.

“I, uhmmmm…” Think, Jackie, think! “Uhhhh… My… my dog died!” my mouth blurted out thoughtlessly.

“Wait wha-“ 

“I’ll call you later! Bye!” I hung the phone up. I felt my palms drip with sweat as I held onto my phone. I can’t tell Lauren. She’s not ready. Not yet.

You see, way way back when I was a little tot, way before I had met Lauren, I was basically alone. It wasn’t like that before, though. I had a happy family. I had a mom, a dad, one older brother, one younger brother, and one younger sister. My dad died in a car accident when I was just seven and my mom… I actually don’t know where my mom is. She left one day with my two younger siblings, leaving my brother and I together, and they never came back. My brother and I were fortunate enough to be taken in by our grandmother. Since then, she was the one who raised us and we’re really grateful for that.

As a kid, I had no friends, and I was practically secluded from the rest of the world. People would try to talk to me, but I’d shut them out. Ever since the incidents with my parents and siblings, I just wanted to be gone from the world. I just wanted to disappear so I wouldn’t feel pain anymore. I just needed someone to save me. And one day, someone did.

Kim Taehyung.

Yes, Kim Taehyung from the South Korean pop group the Bangtan Boys.

That name has stuck to my brain as if it were glued. He and his family moved in next door to my grandma’s house when I was about ten. He was a very talkative boy with a very colorful personality. On the first day his family moved in, he went around the neighborhood introducing himself. I didn’t want to talk to him or have anything to do with him, but my grandma thought it would be good for me to make some friends for a change, so she’d invite him over sometimes.

We used to go to the same school, and we were in the same grade. Everyday, we’d walk to school and from school. Slowly, before I even knew it, we became best friends. He was always there for me when I needed him and I was always there for him when he needed me. I found myself slowly falling in love with him, but I never said a word because I couldn’t afford to lose him.

But, as you know, life isn’t going to go the way we always want it to. And one day… my grandmother told me we would move to back to her hometown in America. You see, I come from a mixed family. My mom was Korean and my dad was Caucasian. My grandma, who is my dad’s mom, had been living with us in Korea at the time.

I was crushed when she told me the news. I remember crying uncontrollably. He was practically my other half, and I didn’t want to have to let him go and start over from scratch. I told him the horrible news, and I can remember him crying as well. He promised we’d keep in touch, and I promised I’d come back. But none of that happened.

I think the thing that hurt me the most was after I left, I had never heard from him since. I’d write to him, but I would never get a reply back.

The only time I heard from him was a few years later. But not from him, just of him. I was really surprised when I heard that he was a part of the Bangtan Boys. I mean, I always knew he’d make it big in the industries because of his charisma and amazing singing voice, but he was never really one for the spotlight. I guess he’s changed over the years.

And that’s exactly why I’m reluctant to meet him. I’m afraid that he won’t want me as a friend anymore. What if he’ll hate how I turned out to be? Or what if he’s a big jerk? Or what if he’s so engrossed in the spotlight, the fame’s gotten to his head? 

I’ve attended a few of his concerts whenever the Bangtan Boys would have a concert here, and each and every time, it still amazes me how far he’s gotten. I paid for a couple hi-touch opportunities, hoping that he’ll recognize me, but I knew I was just another one of hundreds of new faces he sees everyday. There were times where I really just wanted to scream out loud and tell him that it’s me. His neighbor back then, his partner in crime, his best friend… Standing right in front him.

But I’ll never know who he truly is anymore. The young Kim Taehyung is just another memory in my head, and I’m just another memory in his. And I’d like to keep it that way. I’d like him to remember me as a good memory and not a bad one.