- Jackie’s POV -

“Hello? Jackie? Jackieeee… Jackie-ahhhh!” I faintly heard my best friend say on the other end of the line. 

I remained frozen, unable to grasp the thought that I was going to meet the Bangtan Boys. My idols, my loves, my everything. And I, an outcast, was going to meet them.

No way. No way am I going to meet them. It just seemed too surreal. I must be dreaming. I must be. This can’t be true.
I pinched my arm only to find myself screaming in pain. I pinched harder and harder to find the same exact results. So this is real.

I am going to meet BTS.

That phrase echoed inside my head like a never ending record. 

I am going to meet BTS. I am going to meet BTS. I am going to meet BTS.

I picked up my phone from the floor and raised it to my ear.

“Lauren…” I paused.

“Yeah?”

“WE’RE GOING TO MEET BTS!!!!!!”

We continued to scream on and talk about everything for the next hour. Lauren said we’ll be flying over next Saturday to Korea and that the contest holders will be taking care of us for everything. They’ll be providing airline fairs, where we’re going to stay, food, and other services. I was stoked and I could not wait.

I jumped back into bed around 4:30 AM to get some sleep, but I couldn’t seem to do it. I’d often find myself tossing and turning so much that I’d almost fallen off of the bed a few times. Many thoughts just kept running through my mind. I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about them.

What if they don’t like me? What if they find me weird? What if I do something embarrassing? What if I’m not what they expect me to be? 

It was that last question that got me thinking. Then it hit me. I suddenly remembered the deep secret of my past. The secret that I’ve kept hidden away for many years. Not even my own best friend knows this secret. I’ve kept this pent up for a while and I don’t plan on ever telling anyone. Sometimes I just want to scream it out loud, but regardless of what I do, I know I can’t change anything. As much as I want to, the world just doesn’t work that way.

I reached for my phone on the bedside table again. I called Lauren, waiting for her to pick up. It was 5 AM, but if she was still as excited as she was an hour ago, she’d still be awake. No less than a minute later, she picked up.

“HELLO?!” she whisper shouted.

“Hey! You picked up!” I said.

“Well who can sleep at a time like this?? Like OMG! We’re meeting BTS! B TO THE T TO THE S! BANGTAN SONYEONDAN! YAHHHHHHHH!!!!” She started squealing uncontrollably. I lowered the volume to prevent her screeching from deafening me.

“Yeah… about that…” I started. 

“Uh oh. That doesn’t sound good.” 

“I can’t go with you.” I blurted it out.

“WHAT?! WHY?”

“Because I…”