Jihoon was losing hope every passing day. His efforts seem to have no effect... Maybe going to a new country was a complete mistake. He realized he was being selfish when coming here. 

Things did not work out in his favor for the past three years. Leaving Seungcheol behind was a terrible mistake as well. He left the only person who could understand him back in the States. Jihoon remembers that they became friends because they were the only korean kids in town... let alone the only Asians there. So school days were easier with him by his side and of course his other friends. If they wanted to communicate without anyone understanding they could since they were bilingual. 

Jihoon was slowly regretting ever coming to Korea to pursue a dream that seemed too far away to accomplish. As nice as companies seem they just aren't, they make you train for long hours without being sure if your going to debut someday or not. He kept on persisting and pushing his limits in hopes that one day that dream came true but every day that passes that goal seemed to go farther and farther from his reach. 

He didn't understand why they were making promises when there's no for sure you're ever gonna sing your song on stage. Jihoon knows he's talented enough to make a debut with a group or even solo so he didn't understand why it was taking so long. 

"Jihoon hyung, meet Junghan hyung, he's a new trainee." Seungkwan, his friend and fellow trainee, said dragging a boy by the hand. "Junghan hyung this is Jihoon hyung."

Jihoon smiled widely and bowed his head. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." 

In the three years here however, he met the sweetest girl ever. Her name was Jung Eunbi, she was short like him and had long beautiful hair. She was a trainee in another company but he still managed to stay in contact with her. They met through auditions, she has auditioned for the same company as him but she didn't pass it, so she tested her luck elsewhere. She was going through the same as him, wondering when she would debut.

He started to believe everything was going well despite having his debut being delayed. He thought he was falling for the cute petite girl, and he just let himself go. He deserves this much. 

"Oppa, do you like this?" The short girl asked him as he pressed a dress in front of her. "Should I buy it?"

"Why don't you go try it before you make a decision?" Jihoon suggested pushing the girl toward the changing rooms. 

"Okay."

After five minutes or so Eunbi came out and Jihoon couldn't help but feel his jaw drop. The dress was cute, however, it was too short. It revealed too much of her legs and he worried that if she wore that in public guys are gonna start cat calling her. "Do you like it?"

She was obviously uncomfortable, she pulled the dress every few seconds. "Why don't you try another one? I think this is too revealing." 

Eunbi nodded. "I think so too."

Jihoon smiled widely at her and waited for her to come out agin so they could look for something more appropriate. 

"What about this?" Jihoon picked out some shorts with a shirt. It was more his style but he bet would look good on Eunbi.

"Let me try it."

"I need to lose weight!" Eunbi exclaimed looking at her thighs. Because she was more on the shorter side, her legs were short so her thighs looked more meaty than bony.

"You're really thin." Jihoon rolled his eyes at the cute pout on the girls face. "If I were to hug you I would end up hugging myself."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, besides, not everyone likes skeletons."

After she bought the clothes Jihoon picked out for her they excited the store and started to walk aimlessly. "Oppa."

"Hm?"

"There's a guy looking at me." She subtly pointed with her eyes and then he saw an older man looking like he was about to snatch her away. 

Jihoon threw a protective arms around the small girl and pulled her closer to him. "I hope he gets the hint." 

Eunbi giggled and continued walking with a shy look on her face. Maybe this is working out for him. 

Back at the company was a mess, with Jisoo and Junghan fighting over who should use the computer or who practices longest. Seungkwan was messing around with Seokmin, pulling pranks here and there and well, the other trainees where doing what they're supposed to. Practice. So that's what Jihoon did until the early hours of the morning.

"JIHOON HYUNG!" Seungkwan came running down the empty hall of the building. Jihoon was going to the studio to try and rearrange a song for a cover. When Seungkwan catched up to him he shook Jihoon by the shoulders. "You're never gonna believe what I saw!"

"A couple making out?"

"YES!"

"But do you-"

"Junghan and Jisoo."

"How did-"

"It's obvious Seungkwan, it surprises me it took you this long to realize."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"It's also obvious you like that guy that works in the ice cream shop across the street."

"How did you even know I was gay?"

"I didn't I just guessed right now and you confirmed it."

"And it's obvious you like that girl you go out with."

"Good." 

"Let's go from the top." Jihoon sighed as Junghan kept messing up a note and it was starting to irritate him, he had given the song since the day before with all parts so they could practice. 

Jihoon and Jisoo started strumming their guitars but stopped yet again when Junghan messed up again. By now it was evident Jihoon was gonna lose it so everyone was really scared, especially Junghan. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Jihoon tried to calm down and kept on playing and stopping for the whole hour until he had enough. 

"Junghan I gave all of you the song so you could practice beforehand, it's not a hard song either so instead of smooching all the time could you at least try? We want to debut and failure is not an option." The room was quiet after that with all of them looking at the ground and Jihoon fuming with anger. "Practice properly, if all you don't want to work hard then don't work at all and go study law or something instead of occupying space that another person could fill and do things as told."

"Jihoon hyung, calm down." Seungkwan placed a hand on his arm. "He's sick..." 

Well the ground better swallow him alive cause how did he not notice before? Now that he looked at Junghan he did looked paler an tired. "Oh my god." Jihoon said as soon as it downed on him. "Why didn't you tell me? Why are you pushing yourself like this?" Jihoon stomped his foot on the ground. "Now I'm the of the a year." 

"It's okay, Jihoonie, I understand."

"No no, go back to the dorm and go to sleep I'll buy you some medicine." Jihoon ruffled his hair in frustration, he cannot believe he just yelled at a sick person. He wanted to burry himself alive for accusing Junghan, he knows the older is a hard working guy so he should've thought before blurting stuff out. 

He made sure to call Eunbi so she could help him buy Junghan some medicine, he'd probably buy dog medicine or something that wouldn't be of much help to his sick hyung. 

"I wanted to ask you something..." Eunha rocked on the balls of her feet with her hands behind her back. "Oppa." 

"What is it?" Jihoon looked back and forth between Allegra and Panadol. 

"Do you like me?" 

Jihoon looked at Eunbi and shrugged. "Of course I do." 

"No, like... like like." 

"I like you, Eunbi." Jihoon placed the bottles on the shelf before signing and looking the shy girl who's gaze was trained on the ground. "Why? Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" 

Eunbi nodded cutely and punched his chest lightly in a shy manner, her nose scrunched up as well making her even more adorable in his eyes. Then she let out a loud laugh, that laugh that she always does when she's too embarrassed to say anything. 

"Okay." Jihoon stepped closer to the girl and brushed her hair behind her ear. They were both roughly the same height so leaning in and kissing her soft lips wasn't difficult or anything. "Cute." He muttered before pulling apart and watching her blushing face. "Now help me pick out Junghan hyung's medicine."

Eunbi nodded and started picking out different medicines than the ones Jihoon was looking at.

Dating and being a trainee wasn't ideal but he was trying to balance the two. Before he didn't have to go out with Eunbi every single day or at least three times a week and calling her every morning and every night.... Now everything's just difficult. He still managed to do good.

"Oppa I'm debuting soon."

Jihoon looked at Eunbi surprised. "You are? Wasn't your debut delayed for those two girls that left?"

Eunbi nodded. "Yes! But everything's sorted out, were debuting on January or so." She grinned widely.

Jihoon smiled back at her. "I'm happy for you, that's great." 

"Thank you, so I was gonna tell you that I'm going to be really busy until I finish promoting so I probably won't get too much time to talk." She pouted and grabbed one of Jihoon's hands as the walked down the street. "And we can't do this anymore, it ."

Jihoon laughed at her cute behavior. "We gotta sacrifice some things in order to achieve what we want." That hit home to him. 

"I guess so."  

"Do you want to do something special?" She traced her small fingers on his hand and looked at him suggestively. 

Jihoon was taken aback by the request, how's innocent little Eunbi requesting such a thing. He gently pulled his hand away and covered hers in a sweet manner. "I don't think I'm ready for that, Eunbi-ah... I'm sorry."

"It's fine, it's just that I won't be seeing you in a long time and I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll always be here if you need me, I'll give you one of my shirts so you can wear it anytime you miss me."

"Really? So can I give you mine? I mean you won't wear it cause you're a boy but I want to do something special for you too." Eunbi pouted. "A shirt with my perfume?"

"It'll lose its scent, I'm okay with knowing you're okay and taking care of yourself."

Naturally Eunbi and Jihoon grew apart with Eunbi promoting and Jihoon finally preparing for debut with his four other friends. It was solely a vocal group, no dancing, he hoped they do well. Eunbi debuted with a song called Glass Bead and they were under fire for "copying" girls generation. He didn't see why, though. Yes, the songs are similar but it wasn't anything the girls had to do with. The songs are written for them so they have to sing it, it's their job.

Jihoon's group debuted with the name Seventeen. With the song Adore U, originally the song was going to be an upbeat funky kind of song but it was changed to a ballad. It was better like that, they could showcase their vocal abilities.

It was a late night and Jihoon and the other four were walking down to their dorm from the practice room when he bumped into someone who was rounding the corner in front of him. Jihoon gripped on the strangers shirt to avoid falling.

"Sorry." "Sorry! Are you okay?"

He could recognize that voice anywhere. Without looking up he detached himself quickly. "Seungcheol hyung?"

He wanted to disappear. He had his life back together and now he appears out of the blue uninvited. Jihoon looked up at the face he missed dearly and felt his heart clench. Seungcheol had definitely changed, his features looked more matured, his body was more built... but his eyes still held that intensity and love inside of them and that made him want to fall back into his arms and be held forever. 

Crazy how he thought he liked Eunbi and wanted to protect her from the world when right now he wanted Seungcheol to do the same for him. Looking at his eyes there was a flash of hurt but it was quickly replaced by an unknown emotion, something Jihoon was not used to seen, if ever.

"Jihoon? Wow, small world." Seungcheol smiled and looked at Jihoon's friends briefly. "You made it, huh?"

"Jihoon hyung, who's that?" Seungkwan asked.

Jihoon nodded at Seungcheol's question. "I made it, kind of." He tuned to Seungkwan. "This is Seungcheol hyung, an old friend."

"You've never told me about him." 

Jihoon looked at Seungcheol and sighed. "Can we talk?"

"Uhhh-"

"Please?" Jihoon pleaded. "Just this once."

"We'll wait for you hyung!" Seungkwan exclaimed and the four went into a pharmacy that was nearby and left the two alone. 

"Hyung-"

"Jihoon I don't think talking is gonna solve anything."

"Seungcheol, you don't know how much you hurt me with that one kiss." Jihoon said. "I've been trying to keep you out of my mind as much as I could, I was doing fine until now! Why now? Why are you here?" 

"My parents moved back, I'm sorry I'm such a bother." 

"You're not a bother..." and that's why he hated this. He wanted Seungcheol, he wanted him now and never let go. But how? He's pretty much a public figure, if this goes out he'll be done for. "Hyung."

"What, Jihoon?" Seungcheol sighed letting his emotions show, his eyes spoke more than words the way they softened and looked at Jihoon was an indication he felt the same way.

"Kiss me, hyung." Jihoon clutched the front of Seungcheol's shirt again. "Please."

"What if someone sees?" It wasn't exactly a no so Jihoon still had hopes.

"No one is around, just one kiss." 

Seungcheol sighed lightly and slowly cradled Jihoon's face between his hands, he softly caressed his cheeks with his thumbs and leaned down. It was eerily similar but this time Jihoon had enough time to process what was happening. 

Jihoon's arms wrapped themselves around the taller's neck and locking eyes with him. Their lips soon touched and it was like a million emotions hit him all at once, if they were out of control when he saw the older, now they had no stop. His eyes closed immediately and just let himself fall into his senses, he let himself be surrounded by Seungcheol's aura and scent. Let himself be immersed in the way Seungcheol's lips moved against his own ever so softly. The sensation didn't last long as Seungcheol pulled away and dropped his hands to his sides. 

He didn't want this to end like this, he didn't want to lose Seungcheol again...

"I have a girlfriend, Jihoon..." 

"W-what?" 

Seungcheol sighed at the look of disbelief in Jihoon's face. "I have a g-"

"Why?! Didn't you say you love me?"

"I couldn't be hung up on you the rest of my life, there's no way we'll ever work out Jihoon, us being together is just impossible." 

"I would've stayed if you told me sooner." Jihoon was a mixture of betrayed, sad and angry. But he had no reason to be cause he had a girlfriend as well, they didn't talk anymore that much but they still hadn't broke up. 

"I wasn't capable of holding you back, Jihoon, I'm not selfish." 

"Don't you love me anymore?" 

"Don't ask that." 

Jihoon took a step back. "I can't believe this is happening, I thought the moment we'd meet would be special, like out of romance novel. We'd be together forever..." 

"Not in this life, I'm sorry." Seungcheol looked at him with sadness written all over his face, he moved closer to Jihoon and caressed the soft skin of his cheeks. "We can move on now, right?"

Jihoon sighed. "I can't give up on you now, hyung, I lost you once and I don't want to lose you this time too, don't you understand? I love you." 

"But-"

"I've never begged anyone, never shown my weak side and never loved anyone as much as I love you. I've tried, believe me, I've tried erasing you from my memory but you're still there."

"All I can say is sorry, there's no way we'll be together." 

Jihoon scoffed and pushed Seungcheol's hand away. "Why are you touching me like you want me but reject me so cold heartedly?"

"I want to comfort you."

"You're failing." Jihoon's eyes started tearing up so he took multiple steps back and into the store his fellow group mates were. Once he found them sitting on a couch watching tv he motioned them to go. He just wanted to sleep and finally end this day.

Once he went outside again Seungcheol was nowhere to be seen. It was better that way.... Jihoon didn't want to suffer anymore. He begged for nothing, he was willing to break up with Eunbi just to be with Seungcheol but things don't always work in his favor. 

"Are you okay, hyung?"

"Yes." Jihoon was biting the end of the pencil in his hand while thinking of lyrics to write. He was good with hiding his feeling or so he thought. Ever since that day Seungwkan and the rest were asking him if he was fine. 

Though he was exactly the opposite of "okay". Everything was just piling on him, stress from having to write, having to compose, it's just really hard to know that you are the one responsible for someone's dreams. It's really tiring knowing that four other people depend on you to make them succeed in this industry. Adding to that, now he has another thing to think about and that one thing has been clouding his kind with how hurt he was. That was none other than Seungcheol himself. 

He was honestly confused, he loves Seungcheol a lot, and by a lot I mean a huge amount. Almost all of his life he's loved him, but there's also his distant girlfriend. Cute and sweet Eunbi, or now known as Eunha. He sincerely liked her, what they had was sugary and sweet and innocent, he can't help but want that too... But if he had to choose he'd obviously pick Seungcheol. Even though his relationship with Eunbi was as society calls "normal" he just doesn't see a future there.

He's been imagining a life time with Seungcheol ever since he learned that he liked the older. He'd make scenarios on his head on how they would grow up and get married and somehow have children. He wanted that future, he wants the future he'd been dreaming of with Seungcheol. He hated that he felt this way, he truly doesn't feel like Seungcheol has moved on... but maybe that's his wishful thinking. All he knows is that he feels Seungcheol wants this as much as he does. 

Jihoon slammed his pencil on his desk before sighing loudly. Too much on his mind, usually he works well under pressure but today he can't. "Hyung?"

Jihoon almost forgot he wasn't alone, there was Seungkwan there with him as he refused to leave him alone claiming he didn't want Jihoon to feel lonely. "Yes?"

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem... miserable." 

"Gee thanks."

"Seriously, you can trust me." Seungkwan made himself more comfortable in the couch in the small studio. 

"I'm in love." Jihoon said dropping everything and turning his office chair to face Seungkwan for the first time in hours. 

"I know, you have a girlfriend."

"No, not with her." Jihoon sighed closing his eyes finding comfort in just staring at the back of his eyelids. "I'm in love with my old friend." 

"The one from that night?" Seungkwan asked and he nodded as a response. He couldn't see but if he could he knew he would see his friend's shocked face. Of course it would be a surprise, he'd never told anyone that he was biual. He opened his eyes and just as he imagined. He chuckled, Seungkwan looked funny with his mouth hanging open. "I didn't know you liked guys."

"Well... now you do." 

"What happened that night, hyung? I can tell you're not fine, stop trying to be strong." Seungkwan furrowed his brows. "I mean don't stop being strong but, you know, don't go through this alone."

"It's a long story, we don't have time for it, I need to write."

"You have time, don't lie."

"Fine."

Then he spent minutes trying to explain how everything happened, from where they were friends to now. He didn't leave a single detail out, he told him he was hopelessly in love and how he dreams of one day forming a beautiful family with Seungcheol. He also explained that he does like Eunbi but not as much as he would've liked to, he doesn't love her. He told him how he was feeling, he expressed the way his heart was hurting and how he couldn't concentrate on anything because of it. 

"I just feel bad that I've wasted Eunbi's time as well, she should've met someone better."

"You guys don't talk anymore do you?"

"I can try to call her, I'm not sure if she'll answer me."

"The sooner the better, isn't she on break right now?"

"She's probably practicing for another comeback."

"Just try, or even send her a message."

Jihoon nodded, although they didn't specify what they were talking about he knew what it meant. He needed to call things off, it's not fair for Eunbi, a sweet beautiful girl, to be with someone who doesn't think about her but instead thinks about someone else. 

To: Cute bunny rabbit

I need to talk to you

Not a minute after there was a response and Jihoon felt his heart drop. He'll give up on this beautiful thing that's happened to him. There was really no way he wouldn't feel sad, he likes her but.... he loves Seungcheol and it's not fair. With a heavy heart he opened the message.

From: Cute bunny rabbit

I knew this was coming... Are you gonna break up with me?

Seungkwan was silently watching Jihoon move his fingers over his screen, he was worried as well. He could tell Jihoon wasn't with her just to have a girlfriend. 

'I just want to tell you that I did like you a lot, but the feelings aren't as strong anymore. My past is haunting me, I'm in love with someone else and I don't think it's right to lie to you.'

Jihoon hit send and dropped his phone on his lap. "I did it, I hope she's not mad or anything."

The phone vibrated on his thigh and he quickly opened it.

From: Cute bunny rabbit

I understand, Jihoonie oppa :D I've been feeling the same way. Friends?

To: Eunbi

Friends. :)

He really should thank Seungkwan, he wasn't feeling as bad as before. The stress was still there but with one less worry on his mind it felt easier to breath and exist. Of course things between him and Eunbi are fine now, they're friends and sometimes they talk to each other to keep in touch but not much. 

They recently came back with a song called mansae, it was the first upbeat song, featuring Wonwoo and Mingyu, two rappers everyone knows because they're so good and hot. They weren't just good rap partners they were also life partners, if you know what I mean. Of course no one knew but Jihoon just kind of figured it out since they were in their own world when they talked. And Wobwoo did this thing were he literally shoots heart out of his eyes everytime Mingyu does something. It's adorable. 

The concept was easy to follow, they were all in love somehow. Except for Seokmin, he was just a good actor. Seungkwan just like the ice cream boy, Jisoo and Junghan were obviously together and Jihoon didn't have anyone but he still loved his best friend... well his ex best friend. 

Somehow their manager let them go out and celebrate their successful comeback. He wouldn't consider his group idols, he wanted to say they were artists, they worked hard to make everything themselves, to the melody, lyrics and everything that related to their career. 

He thinks the world is against him.

When the five of them sit down at a table in a restaurant the person who comes to take their order is none other than Choi Seungcheol. At that time Seungkwan is already looking worried at Jihoon. Jihoon smiled at Seungkwan to let him know he was okay all the while Junghan ordered what they all agreed on. 

Jihoon didn't make any eye contact, he just wanted Seungcheol to go away and stop tormenting him. 

"Isn't that your friend?" Junghan asked him when Seungcheol went away. Jihoon nodded. "Then why didn't you say hi?"

"Just cause..." Jihoon shrugged. 

"Did you two fight?"

"No." 

Seungkwan suddenly laughed out loud, disturbing the ones that were at the table and the ones around them. "Guys!! I just thought of a joke!" 

Jihoon was thankful for Seungkwan, really. If it weren't for him the questions wouldn't have ended there and he just didn't want to talk about it or him. 

"Jihoon-ah." Jihoon squeezed his eyes shut at the call and ignored it. 

But of course, Junghan wouldn't let him do that. So Junghan scolded him and made him look the the very person he didn't want to ever see or hear again. Why's the universe making it so difficult for him to move on. Seungcheol doesn't want him why does he keep talking to him. WHY? That's what goes around his head. Why?

"What?" 

"Can we talk?"

"Now?" 

Junghan sent a glare at Jihoon's rudeness. Said boy sighed and just stood up. "Fine." 

He followed Seungcheol out of the place and into the back of the restaurant, why? Well let's just say he's a celebrity, if something happens he doesn't want anyone to see. Jihoon half hoped it was something good that he was gonna say, but the other half didn't want anything to do with him after he rejected him. 

"What is it?" Jihoon crossed his arms.

"Why are you so mad at me?"

Jihoon was shocked. "Why? Choi Seungcheol you made me feel like and you're asking why I'm mad?" 

"I just told you the truth, you're an idol or whatever I'm just me, I'm normal I can't be with you." 

"I'm still ing me! I'm still Lee Jihoon, the one with big dreams and a crush on his best friend. Just because I'm now a public figure doesn't mean I'm suddenly someone untouchable and important, I'm not." 

"I don't want to ruin your career if this gets out, secrets eventually are found out." Seungcheol explained. "I just want you to succeed, I know how much you want this." 

"I want this, yes, but I want you more, I'd take you over anything any day. In the end I won't ever be happy without the person I love." Jihoon shrugged and looked at Seungcheol. "I just, I don't know anymore, I want you... but I hate you so much, too."

"Will you ever forgive me?"

Jihoon scoffed. "You have a girlfriend." 

"About that..."

"I swear Choi-"

"I lied...." 

Jihoon felt lighter hearing that... so Seungcheol was not taken then.... HIS EMOTIONS ARE CONFUSED. One second he wants to hit Seungcheol but the other he wants to kiss him and love him until he dies... So naturally he does both. 

Seungcheol was shocked at the harsh punch thrown to his arm but even more when Jihoon pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him harshly on the lips. When he broke apart Jihoon punched him again.

"Liar." 

"What is going on?" Seungcheol asked confused. "Are you mad or ...?" 

"I'm mad! But I don't know, I just felt like-" Jihoon got cut off by those lips he'd yearned for the past months. "Okay I'm not mad anymore." All of the hatred and negativeness in Jihoon dissipated to nothing and all that was left was questions. "So what are we gonna do? Does this mean we're together or are you just playing me?"

"I'm not making any decision without knowing that you're really sure about me." 

Jihoon rolled his eyes. "I've been sure for years, I love you." 

Seungcheol smiled softly. "I love you, too."

"Jihoon hyung!" Seungkwan ran breathless. "Are you okay?" 

Way to ruin the moment.

"I'm fine Seungkwan, come here I want you to meet my boyfriend."

Jihoon will work hard to make everything work. Despite having to keep Seungcheol a secret from the company and the public he was happy that everything was working out in their favor. Seungkwan eventually let his grudge against Seungcheol go away and got along with him as well. 

This was when Jihoon's life became even better he'd be dreaming of two things and he's lucky enough to be living both. Well one is in the process, he still doesn't know when he'll marry Seungcheol.