"I'm gonna miss you a lot." 

Growing up in a small town always bothered Jihoon. He didn't like it, he just didn't. Aside from all the fun he had with his friends, camping out in some random place, lighting fireworks on deserted streets, swim on the lake at 3 in the morning.... He needed to move and get on with his life in a big city just like he planned. Complete his dreams just like he planned.

"I want you to stay but I'm not going to be selfish." 

His friends made the small town somewhat a fun place, especially Seungcheol. His best friend, his partner in crime, his other half, his everything. He was sure gonna miss him, but he had to let go. 

All the memories came flashing in his mind.

----

"Why are we doing this again?" Jihoon asked the freezing Seungcheol. 

"I d-don't know." 

"1... 2......3." Jihoon held Seungcheol's hand and together they jumped into the freezing water of the river. 

When they resurfaced they were shivering but laughing at the same time. "We're so gonna catch a cold." Seungcheol managed to say. 

After a while they decided to call it a night. They stayed at Jihoon's place since it was the closest of the two and they were freezing. 

----

"Aren't you gonna say goodbye to the others?" 

"You're the only one that matters right now." 

"Why?" 

Jihoon opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Why? Why did Seungcheol matter so much? Maybe cause of all the moments they shared, or maybe cause they were always together..... Maybe because of that feeling he's been trying to suppress.

"You're my best friend." Jihoon said after a long pause. 

Seungcheol hummed, it was getting late and Jihoon's flight was at 10 in the morning. "Seriously, I'm gonna miss you, how am I gonna find someone like you? To do stupid stuff with? You're gonna go pursue your dream and in another country and eventually forget about Choi Seungcheol and this little town..." 

"I'm gonna call you everyday on skype, I'm probably gonna change my phone number cause you know, new country."

"Let's do something before you leave, right before you go back through the gates."

"Like what?" 

"It's gonna be a surprise." 

And although Jihoon wanted to stay up all night and enjoy his last moments with Seungcheol, he ended up falling into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning came, Seungcheol would drop off Jihoon at the airport. 

Jihoon got in Seungcheol's car, he took deep breaths to calm his emotions. He chest was tight and he wanted to cry, but he wouldn't, he had to hold back and not make a scene. 

"You ready to go?" Seungcheol asked as he got inside the car and started it. 

"Yeah." 

"Let's get you to the airport then." Seungcheol drove away, the car was silent.... the only thing that could be heard was the air conditioning. 

Jihoon had to breath out in order to not cry, it happened a lot. Maybe leaving wasn't the right decision....... No, he had to leave and make his dream come true.

See, ever since a little kid he wanted to sing. He sang as a hobby and enjoyed it a lot. Why not do it as a profession? Doing what you love and getting money for it... that's what people say, right? Do what you wanna do. Work on something you love and enjoy.

They got there faster than expected and it was maybe because there wasn't too much traffic. Jihoon got his luggage and went inside, he could see people were hectic and some were even running cause they were late.

He calmly walked and did everything he had to do before the worst moment came. 

"I guess this is bye then..." Seungcheol said softly, although he was smiling Jihoon could see his eyes... They were filled with sadness and hurt. It made him feel guilty but there was no going back now, and it's his dream he should be happy for him. "Good luck." 

"Seungcheol hyung--" 

Jihoon didn't know what just happened. 

Seungcheol had grabbed his face and gently placed his lips over his. Jihoon stiffened up, his mind was racing, his heart was beating faster his world seemed to break down....

It wasn't until Seungcheol pulled back that he realized he was crying and holding onto the older. "Hyung--" 

"Bye Jihoonie." Right at that moment his flight number was called and he stared at his best friend. His heart ached, Seungcheol was crying as well. The older always put a strong front and didn't ever let anyone see him cry but right now ... seeing him cry was hurting him more and he started regretting everything. "You have to go--" 

"Right, uhm--" Jihoon said, quickly letting go of Seungcheol. "I'll send you a Skype message once I get there." 

"You do that." Seungcheol made an a attempt to smile and hugged Jihoon for the last time. "Stay safe." 

"You too, hyung... I love you." He said from the bottom his heart and soul, feeling more tears come. 

"I love you too, Jihoon." Seungcheol released Jihoon from the hug and touched his cheek lovingly. "Go or you'll miss your flight." 

"See you soon." 

"Goodbye." It wasn't a see you soon, see you later kind of thing and Seungcheol knew it but actually saying goodbye hurt more than what he imagined.

He nodded and rushed off, leaving a very sad Seungcheol behind.

Jihoon couldn't sleep on the plane, his mind was flooded with what happened a few hours ago. That kiss. Why did he kiss him when he had to leave? Why couldn't he done it earlier? 

If he had known Seungcheol loved him back he would've stayed. But he guessed it was for the better, right? Wrong... He just experienced his first kiss and first heartbreak, the same day on the same moment.

He cried... he tried to be silent about it as there were other people around him, there was also an old lady beside who looked at him with pity.

Jihoon would make sure to be successful and, if the future lets him, forget Seungcheol as his first love and stop the pain that was growing in his chest every passing minute.

"Bye, Seungcheol." 

There's a saying .... "First loves don't last but you never forget it" there's also one that says "That first loves aren't really love" that one Jihoon begged to differ. He's loved Seungcheol for years for it to be fake... His first love couldn't last more than a few seconds when it could have lasted years if Seungcheol just had said something. 

But he guessed it's his fault too cause he didn't say anything either... 

This was a goodbye.... But a hello to greater things.