She sighed as the flashing lights burned her eyes. She closed her eyes, letting the beat of the music flow through her as she danced with everything she had. She could feel the sweat running down her back, her hair sticking to her face as she danced with some random stranger. She was out for a girl’s night with some of her university friends and she had decided that she wasn’t going to think about Jung Hoseok. Not even a little. The stranger she was dancing with slipped his hands from her waist down to cup her and she quickly pushed herself out of his grip and disappeared into the crowd.

Normally she would have glared or at least thrown a few choice words at him, but she had just been all over him as they had danced, it was only natural that he had gotten the wrong idea, or so her drunken mind told her as she made her way to the crowded ladies room. She frowned as she took in her smudged makeup. She grabbed a few paper towels and dabbed at the sweat, swiping underneath her eyes to clear away the smudged mascara. She hadn’t planned on drinking just as much, but with the lure of two for one tequilas, and the determination to not think about Hoseok, she had allowed herself to have more than just one too many.

She checked the time, surprised that it was already so late. She carefully splashed some cold water on her face, careful not to mess up her eye makeup even further, the panda look was not attractive. She made her way back to her table where a couple of her friends were sitting. She apologised to them and told them she needed to go home. They protested, trying to convince her to stay out a little longer. Once they had finally convinced her to promise to go out with them again soon, they finally let her leave. She picked up her bag and made her way out of the busy club.

Once she stepped outside, she took a deep breath of the cool night air. Unfortunately, that cool air helped her realise just how drunk she actually was. Her head began to spin and her stomach lurched. She groaned and started walking towards her apartment. The club they had finally ended up in was only ten minutes away from the bar she worked in, so it wouldn’t take her long to get back and in her drunken state she decided that walking was preferable to taking a taxi, which she may have ended up vomiting in.

She tried her best to keep her legs moving forward and in a straight line. She rubbed her temples as a headache started to form. “Why did I drink so much?” she muttered to herself as she bumped into someone. She felt the stranger wrap a hand around her arm to steady her. “Sorry!” she said quickly. “Eun Ji?” she looked up into the shocked face of Hoseok. Her jaw dropped, he was the last person she had expected to see. It had been almost a week since she had last seen him in the bar. Part of her wanted to hug him, and another part (which was being dulled by all the alcohol) wanted her to run without looking back. “Hoseok!” she said happily, a huge grin forming on her face. “What are you doing here?” she asked, wobbling a little in her too high high-heels.

Hoseok kept his hand on her arm to help her balance. “Yoongi and I went for a drink. Are you ok?” he asked worriedly as she swayed, her weight landing against him. “I’m totally fine! Everything is fantastic! It’s just great!” she mumbled against his shoulder. He frowned down at her, “Eun Ji, how much did you drink?” he asked as he slipped an arm around her waist to better support her weight. She pushed herself off him, the grin never leaving her face. “Not that much! Just a few tequilas! And a couple of something blueish, I can’t remember what it was called.” She said with a giggle.

“Are you alone?” he asked, worried that she had been out drinking alone. She nodded, “Yup. I was just going home.” He frowned, “I’ll take you home.” He said as he wrapped his arm around her waist again and slowly started walking forward. “You don’t need to take me. I can go alone.” She protested as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he held her firmly. “I can’t let you wander out here alone.” He said firmly as they slowly made their way towards her apartment.

Hoseok was concerned, he’d never seen her drunk before. The fact that she was alone worried him as well. He didn’t want to think could have happened if she had bumped into someone else instead of him. He took her key from her bag and helped her into her apartment. She kicked off her shoes and wandered into her apartment, dropping her bag on the floor as she headed straight for her bedroom. Hoseok sighed at the familiar scene. Not too long ago, it was him that had someone bringing him home in this state. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and a packet of painkillers. He went into her bedroom where she had collapsed on top of her bed.

He sighed gently as he placed the water and painkillers by her bed and gently manoeuvred her so that he could cover her with her blanket. He sat on the edge of her bed and gently brushed her hair away from her face. “Hoseok… why am I a bad person?” she mumbled, her eyes closed. Hoseok's hand froze against her cheek. “Eun Ji, what are you talking about? You’re not a bad person.” He said gently.

She sniffed and a few tears fell from her still closed eyes. “Yes I am. I’m the worst.” Hoseok frowned, not sure what to say or do. “Why?” he eventually asked. She slowly opened her eyes, looking up the ceiling, her eyes glassy. “Do you remember when I sprained my ankle and you brought me here?” she asked, her voice so quiet he had to lean in closer to her to hear her properly. “Yeah, I remember.” He replied, wondering what she was going to say next.

“That day I saw the ring around your neck for the first time. Even though I didn’t ask about it, I guessed it’s your ex-girlfriends, right?” Hoseok subconsciously reached up to touch the necklace that held the ring. “Yeah. It was hers.” She laughed as more tears spilled from her eyes. “That’s why I’m the worst. I saw that ring and I felt jealous. How stupid is that?” she said as she wiped away the tears that escaped and ran down her cheeks. “I realised then that I like you, but you’re still dealing with what happened, and in that moment I realised that I’m a horrible person. I don’t know when I started liking you as more than a friend but when I saw the ring, I realised that I don’t stand a chance. There's no way I could live up to the memories you share with her.” She took a deep, shuddering breath as she turned to face him.

“That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I’ve been trying to sort out my feelings so that I don’t completely up our friendship. Because even if you can’t feel the same way about me, I still want to have you as a friend…” she said as she rolled onto her side, putting her back to him. Hoseok stared down at her as she curled up into a ball. He didn’t know how to respond. He had been trying to work out exactly how he felt about her, but every time he considered the possibility that there was more to their relationship that just being friends, a small part of him still felt guilty. Guilty that he could even consider moving on when she was dead.

“Eun Ji.” He called softly but she didn’t respond. “Eun Ji?” he placed a hand on her shoulder and let out a sigh when he realised that she had fallen asleep. He stayed with her, gently running his fingers through her hair as he thought over her words. The whole time he had only been considering his feelings and whether or not he was ready to move on and accept someone new into his heart. He hadn’t considered that Eun Ji had felt that way about him. He eventually left her apartment, his heart and his mind both in shambles as he tried to work out what he wanted, and how he felt.