It was dark. It was so dark that i chose to stay put in my spot. They did it again. Can't they just leave me alone. This setup is been happening for almost three years. And i never told anyone about this for almost three years. They wouldn't believe i know that. Those teachers wouldn't believe.

I was born scared in the dark. That was my top secret. But then one day i just got thrown in this abandoned room, just because i'm intelligent. For me, that's not a problem. They could just told me to step back not dragging me in this room.

Now i have to endured this for almost half a day. It's already midnight. My mom could be looking for me. She would be so damn worried.

I bit my lips as i heard the clock clicking. My head is not in good state right now. The monster on my head kept on playing with me. I dragged myself up and tried to find where could be the window is. Just a little light. That's all i need.

But in the end. I think it's hiding from me. I sat again and rock back and forth thinking happy moments i've been in. This phobia just won't die. Maybe it would die when i did.

Obviously.

Many hours past and i still kept on waiting for someone. At least in the end of this nightmare. Someone was there to fed the light for me.

Yes the janitor. He kept on reminding me to tell the others about this or he'll tell. But i begged him not to. Yes i'm already looked pathetic i'm already are.

I don't want to cry, even they been doing this for countless times but i chose not to cry.

The sappiest thing is that the one whose doing this to me was my friends, yes my friends. That's why i don't want to tell, they could be expelled and i knew they wouldn't like that. They are hardworking like me but i just feel sorry cause i surpassed them.

I'm selfless like that --

''Still having a nightmare?'' i jumped and looked at my friend. Heechul. I blinked and nodded feeling uneasy.

''I don't know what to do with you man. But, just don't think too much.'' oh think about the past. Yes it's already in the past. But still, it's hunting. He said biting on his sandwich.

''Don't worry. I'm working on it.'' i said with affirmative nod.

Heechul sighed ''But it doesn't have improvement right?'' bulls eye.

Truthfully, many things changed when i entered college. I found new friends. My life is almost complete slash that i'm still thinking about the past.

''It just hard to forget.'' clearly this is not my first time saying those lines.

''Hard to forget what? Oh that siwon, helped you earlier.'' said by eunhyuk, appearing with donghae whose hopelessly inlove with him.

''You brat! Don't go sneaking out like that!'' i smiled a little seeing heechul whacking eunhyuk.

They noticed me smiling and after a little moment. It changed into a teasing smile.

''Why you enjoyed touching those biceps? Oh i would those until my tongue falls off.'' that made me smile wider. Heechul is really like a teenage girl.

''Oh i bet to gave him my .'' added by donghae, joining the conversation. Eunhyuk just glared at him. Oh somebody is on denying stage.

''So what's your ideal type hyukkie?'' i asked, i saw how donghae seems to antipicate what words could come out.

Heechul just nudged him.

''Big booty es.'' he said arrogantly.

Heechul and i just laughed when we saw how donghae gulped.

Oh boy. I could just lock them in a room and forced them to confess at each other.

---

Many hours past and our class ended. We bid good bye to each other and i sighed in relief cause the topic is not about my nightmare. Well at first but yes i'm thankful to have them.

I looked at the ceiling in a room i'm staying at. I've been here for almost half a year. My school is too far from home that's why. My mom supports me with every decision i make. That
why look at me now. Alone in my room, i also dont want to bother my roommate for having an endless nightmare.

Everynight i always wonder, why am i still alive? Those nightmare is killing me. Killing me in everyway. I hugged my pillow and thought sadly.

''I hope those monster in my head. Leave me forever.''

In the end.

I woke up with tears in my face in a splattered bedroom.

Oh .

---

''You looked happy this morning.'' i said, looking at heechul whose grinning.

He yelp in surprise. ''Oh i'd like to changed my friends. Those who don't know how to sneak out.'' he half-heartedly said which made me shook my head. He couln't be serious.

''What really matters? You're getting giddily over.'' i said.

He looked at me seriously and handed me a note.

''It's from siwon. '' he squealed and i just smiled a little.

Why did he gave me a note?

''Why?'' all i could ask.

''Open it.'' which i did.

I really wanted to invite into a party that will held next saturday. Hope you could come, and yes you could bring your friends also. I promised you this will be the best night of your life.

-Siwon

''What the hell? Who is he to predict that it would be the best night of my life.''

Heechul just rolled his eyes. ''Don't be such a wimped. Just meet him later and said you'll come. It's about time for me to get laid again.'' he said dreamily. Obviously he read it.

I'm in the middle of thinking if i would go when i noticed heechul is carrying something.

''Is that a doll?'' before i could ask. The two idiots behind me asked the same thing.

''Don't sneak out! You two!'' it was my turn to protest which heechul just laughed.

''Oh these? Oh my lovely friends. My sister gave me this. I don't even expect myself carrying this around but yes it made feel better when i see it.'' i looked at it closely. It's so beautiful.

''Oh guys don't be mezmerized by it. Buy your own.'' he said possesively hugging the doll in his chest.

''It just a waste of money.'' i said getting my books in my locker.

The three of them glared at me. I just ignored it.

''You need this the most.'' heechul said seriouly and the other two nodded.

''I'm not a child. '' that shut them up but then heechul handed his doll at donghae who looked at it like it was a crystal.

''Neither i am. But seriously you need this maybe it could feel you better when sleeping.'' i know they are concern of me that's why heechul is lecturing me like a mother but still. I think the doll is just the same as pillow.

''Maybe.'' i said leaving them and walking toward my class.

I know i'm stubborn but i know in the end that could've gone into waste.

--
Tick tock Tick tock.

For two hours i've been dating my computer. I don't know what gotten into me. And that two hours is worth it, cause i already found what i'm looking for. A site where heechul's sister bought that doll for him.

I think i'm going crazy. Why am i doing this. I'm scrolling when i saw my phone light up. A text. A text from heechul. He really knew how my mind works.

Subject: Be careful.

I know you'll buy a doll like mine. Just when choosing, don't ever go for the doll named ''Bloody doll.'' That was my sister told me. I'll tell you the details tomorrow.Have a good slumber~

Bloody doll? Hmmm

I returned my attention to the screen and saw the bloody doll in the list with a picture. It really caught my eye. Not because of its name.

It's not a bloody doll at all.

That was the most stunning doll i ever seen.

--END OF PART 1--