Part Eight

When Yunho opened his door to Jaejoong that evening, he had thought their night would proceed as it usually did. They would settle in his shared apartment, have dinner as they conversed about life.

The night had started that way. They were conversing about going to the movies next weekend because it had been months since they’ve been to the cinema while they sat next to each other on the couch and watched the news with a can of cool beer in their hand after eating dinner, when Jaejoong leaned in and caught Yunho by surprised.

“What are you doing?” he breathed, shock. His brain not functioning as it usually did.

“Kissing you?” It was an answer, and a question on if he could proceed.  

“Why?” Yunho didn’t understand why Jaejoong was doing what he said he wanted to do. They were friends that didn’t engage in kissing. That wasn’t their relationship.

Jaejoong chuckled, and leaned back. “Why do people kiss?”

Yunho blinked, his heart fluttering. “Because….” He scowled. “We’re friends, here,” he stated rapidly, forming their boundaries.

Jaejoong turned toward a flustered Yunho and slid his palm down the side of his neck and placed the other on his shoulder and leaned in, cocking his head to the side, his soft moisturized, smooth lips slightly parted, “I want to kiss you. Can I?”

“We’re—”

“I know,” he sighed. “I know we’re friends, Yunho. And I always want to be your friend, but—” He pried his eyelids away after closing his eyes and fixed his bottomless dark orbs on Yunho, making shivers run through his frame. “But I like you.”

“I...can’t date. I am not dating.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he slowly moved back. Getting as far away as he could.

“Yunho?”

“Never.” He wagged his finger in Jaejoong's face. “Ever.”

“Just a kiss, then.”

“If we—”

Jaejoong stopped asking for permission and captured his lips between his. He wanted to kiss him and would just kiss him. The kiss was sweet, tender and short. Too short. Jaejoong could barely assigned the term kiss to what they just did. No tongue, no playing, just the slap of their lips against the other.

Yunho forcefully pushed Jaejoong away as he stood up and glared at him. “Not cool! Not cool. I said no!”

The male grinned, slowly his bottom and reached for Yunho’s wrist. “Date me.”

Yunho frowned, confused. ”What’s going on? When did you….What is going on?”

Jaejoong stood up and reached for his friend’s, and he hoped soon boyfriend’s, hand as he told him of having feelings for him since he started to date his ex. His feelings were a year old and he had, at first, thought it would pass and he planned to wait it out. However, he had reached his end and he desperately wanted to be with Yunho.

His main objective was still the same as when he didn’t have feelings for him, and that was to make Yunho happy. But now, he wanted to make him happy and make himself happy too by being with him.

“No,” Yunho shook his head and reached for his can of beer, crossing his arm with the wrist of the hand holding the can hanging. “I am not dating. Ever.” He repeated. “Even you Jaejoong. Especially you!”

Maybe Jaejoong should had listened to his friend’s protest and let everything go and let his feelings die. But he hadn’t, and he sometimes in the future replayed this moment over and over in his head and wished he had not been stubborn and apologize and asked to go back to how they used to be: just friends.

Jaejoong chuckled. “Am I getting turned down?”

Yunho shook his head again. “Nope. Because I am going to act like you didn’t ask me out. I love our friendship. Let’s keep it as it is.”

“No,” Jaejoong shook his head with the same carefree smile, but his eyes were dark with emotions. “I cannot do that.”

Yunho shorted. “Why not?”

“I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. I cannot retract my confession.”

“Jaejoong—”

“Nope. Do not ignore it.”

Yunho sighed. “Jaejoong, you should understand where I am coming.”

He nodded reaching to slide his palms up his arms. “I know and that is why I promise to take my time. I’ll make you want me. Give me a try at least.”

“No.”

“By a try,” he smirked, “I mean to let me court you.”

Yunho peered at the dark haired, pale skinned slightly shorter male pulling him in a hug. “Jaejoong, I really do not want to—”

“Let me court you,” he kissed his cheek. “Six months.”

“Why six months?” He asked pushing Jaejoong away. “No kissing. I didn’t allow that.”

“A year?” His eyes filled with laughter when Yunho screamed, “No.”

“Yes, then.” Hopeful, he winked.

“No to a year, yes to maybe six months.”

What was he saying, Yunho wondered? Was he saying yes because he feared Jaejoong would stop being his friend if he continued on with his rejection? He didn’t want to date Jaejoong, fear filled him. If they dated and he fell in love with him and they break up he would be crushed. It would not even hold a candle to what Haneul and his past boyfriends did to him if he dated Jaejoong fall in love with him and split with him. Especially if they spilt over his fear, Jaejoong getting married. He might even end his life.

He couldn’t do this. He simply wanted to be happy, why was that so difficult. Why couldn't Jaejoong see his fear and stop asking him?

“Thank you,” Jaejoong tightened his hug, smiling he dropped a kiss under his earlobe and whispered, “I’ll try my hardest and make you happy.”

Yunho’s heart dipped in far at the feelings that filled his abdomen. He couldn’t fall for Jaejoong, he refused to. He wanted to be alone! He screamed as fear turned his skin cold. He couldn’t do this break up thing again and this time not have Jaejoong by his side to orient him and keep him sane. No!

“If nothing comes out of this, please let’s act like nothing happened and go back to how we used to be.” He said instead of voice his fears.

Jaejoong nodded, pulled back, keeping yunho at arm length, and grinned from ear to ear.

How could he say no when he regarded him with so much happiness and love.

Wait...Yunho blinked, Jaejoong loved him. He really loved him.

Wasn’t that what he wanted? Yes, but not with Jaejoong his best friend, and especially not with the possibility of breaking up. He didn’t want to break up.

“Okay. Thanks. First date this weekend. Let’s catch an outdoor movie. One is being streaming—”

Yunho shut Jaejoong out as he babbled on.

He could not believed that Jaejoong liked him and he was letting him court him. What would he do without his friendship, he panicked.

He didn’t like Jaejoong like that, or see him in that way. He was attractive, but he was his  precious friend.

His body did react when he loomed in front of him a moment ago and kissed him and when he embraced him he had enjoyed it a bit too much. It had been a nice hug, he reasoned. Warm, tight and sweetly scented, and made him feel protected and loved. But he still felt nothing but lots of platonic love for the beautiful man glowing in front of him with a smile.

He was scared of getting in another relationship and getting broken. He didn’t want to get hurt again. Ever.