Part Two—Seven Years Earlier…

“I am so sorry!” Yunho issued another hurried apology as he squeezed his last drunk friend into the taxi.

“It’s a-okay.” The male worker smiled. “It’s my job.”

Yunho sighed, massaging his temple. “It wasn't suppose to get this wild.” He flicked his arms towards his friends who were inside the small taxi like canned sardines.

“Hey, I am also in university. I know what it’s like to be young.” He flashed an anxious and embarrassed Yunho a relaxing smile. “I wouldn’t say twenty three is that young,” he muttered, sending his drunken friends a look of disgust.

“Again," he bowed. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem.” The worker also bowed. “Please get going. Everything is okay.”

Yunho nodded and smiled at the male again. His poor cheeks were hurting from all the smiling.

His friend had suggested that they take a break from their hectic life as seniors for one night and go get dinner together, something they haven’t done in forever, and have a bit of fun. YooJeabum, his roommate and friend since the first day of university, suggested they go karaoke with the excuse that he hadn’t been there in years now. Once there, things started to spiral down with the drinking, fights over who got to sing next, and the drunken laughter that was as contagious as a cough.

Yunho was the only one that got out sane and sober. Mainly because he had class early the next morning, like two of his friends, and had to go to his part time job right afterwards. He didn’t have time to slack off.

He had have to ask the staff at the karaoke to help him get most of his friends out of the room and taxis that the worker he was thanking had have to call for him. Smiling at the handsome dark haired worker, he said his thanks again and squeezed next to one of his friends. Yunho slapped him on the thigh and closed the door giving the driver the address. “Y’all better pay be back.” He grinned looking at all of their slacked faces one at a time.

“You!” Yunho exclaimed, surprised at seeing the person that had helped him last night with his horde of drunken friend at the school’s courtyard as he was making his way out of the building to go to work the next afternoon.

The male smiled. “I am Kim Jaejoong. Nice to meet you.” He extended a pale hand. Yunho respectfully accepted it and gave it an equally firm shake. It was rougher than it looked, Yunho unconsciously thought. “I didn’t know you go to this school.”

“Of course not.” Jaejoong grinned prettily.

His hair, which was longer than Yunho last remembered, was tied back in a loose ponytail and covered with a neon green baseball—hat. He was wearing black skinny jeans with large rips on the knees, and a black undershirt with a hawaiian shirt over it. He, Jaejoong, was way more handsome than Yunho had noticed last night. He must be popular with the girls, Yunho mused. Or the boys, Yunho quickly added—there was a slight chance he might swing that way. Not that he hoped it was true, cause after all, he wasn’t interested. He was just admiring a handsome man.

Yunho realized the tangent he was going down and shook his head, stretching the corner of his lips into a wider smile.

Jaejoong chuckled at him. Yunho sighed at the battle he was having inside of his head.

“You didn’t tell me your name.” The pale skinned, raven haired handsome male’s voice was nice—tender, husky, and airy.

“Oh, right! Sorry. I am Yunho. Jung Yunho.”

The young man blessed him with one of those nice smiles of his. Yunho mentally slapped himself: do not fall for another straight guy at first sight. It was stupid and useless. After his little chastisement he turned and grinned at Jaejoong.

They walked next to each other.

“What year are you in?”

“Me?” Yunho arched an eyebrow.

“You’re the only one I am talking to.” Jaejoong teased with another half smile. It was y because of how effortless and crooked it was. It appeared mischievous and easy going. Effortlessly flirtatious and y.

“Ah, right! Sorry. I do not know what is wrong with me today.” Yunho’s cheeks flushed at how distracted he was.

“It’s cool, bro.” Jaejoong flashed a row of well shaped pearly whites.

“So yeah.” He beamed at the radiant Jaejoong. “I am a fourth year. Graduating this fall. You?”

“Me too.”

“Oh nice!” Yunho found his lips splitting into a wide simper.

Yunho liked Jaejoong. He could imagined them becoming friends.

“So what are you majoring in?” Jaejoong asked further.

“Biology. I want to teach high school biology.”

“You want to be a teacher?” He arched a perfectly shaped dark eyebrow.

“Yeah." Yunho chuckled, a bit conscious due to how he stated his prior statement. “I might not look it but I love kids.”

“No.” Jaejoong shook his head with a slight twist to his plump cherry colored lips. “You look it.”

“Look what?” Yunho chortled.

“Kind. You look like you’ll make a great teacher.”

Yunho felt a little uncomfortable as warmth glazed his insides. “What about you? I’ve already told you about my life even though we’ve only just met a few minutes ago.”

“True,” Jaejoong hummed with a gentle smile. “You need to be more guarded.”

“You do not scare me.” Yunho winked.

“It is always the one that do not appear threatening you should be scared of.”

“Ah!” He played along. “Now I am scared.”

They both broke into bubbling chuckles and giggles.

“I am majoring in marketing. I want to be a businessman.”

Yunho tugged down the corner of his lips as he let his eyes run over Jaejoong’s features.

“What?” he asked, a little self conscious.

“You just do not look like a businessman.”

“Oh, really?” He lifted an eyebrow, his eyes filled amusement.

“You look like you crave for more excitement in life.”

“I just look like a player, but I am not,” he promised with a cheeky grin.

“I never said you look like a player. But thank you for telling me you are one.”

“It’s the hair, isn’t it?” he asked touching the end of his little ponytail, his hair wasn’t very long just barely grazed his shoulders and framed his strong square jaw.

Their laughter streamed after them as they walked out of the school to go catch the city bus.

They cemented their friendship that afternoon, the second time they encountered each other.

Three weeks passed after their second meeting before they saw each other again.

By then they had almost forgotten about each other. When Jaejoong saw Yunho’s face looming in the small crowd that had been drawn to him and a few of his club mates that were on the school ground by the pond playing their musical instruments, him on guitar, he grinned. He suddenly recalled the male and stopped long enough to wave at him.

He waved back.

After they stopped playing and bowed at the clattering claps and whistles from the crowd he laid his instrument down gently on tufts of grass and walked towards Jaejoong. “Yell.ow.”

Yunho laughed. “‘Yellow’? I think it is hello.”

“Are you judging me?” he teased relaxing, sliding his palms in his back pocket and popping his back.

Yunho suddenly remembered how easy it was to laugh with Jaejoong the day prior, even though that was their third meeting and second time really talking.

They spent a good five minutes talking about Jaejoong’s skills at the guitar, where and when he learned, why he was in the music club and the other clubs he was a member of and about Yunho’s lack of interest in music before they both had to leave and go to class.

They exchanged numbers and promised to grab some drinks soon. Yunho found himself looking forward to the next meeting.

Jaejoong let his eyes skittered after Yunho’s moving back as he waved through the crowd. He liked the lanky male with the beautiful heart shape smiles.

They didn’t text or call each other after that afternoon of meeting each other by the pond. They didn’t promise to, plus, they got busy and forgot.

By chance four days later as Yunho sat down with his group of friends he hadn’t gathered with since that catastrophic night of drinking he saw Jaejoong with his own group of friends eating.

What coincidence would have it that they meet four days later at the same small family restaurant? Yunho was thankful for whatever it was. He liked talking to Jaejoong.

Jaejoong blinked when he saw him and waved as a smile bloomed on his handsome face. “Yunho!” he called and got up. His friends turned and looked in Yunho’s direction. Yunho waved and smiled. It was nice to be welcome with such happiness, Yunho thought getting up as Jaejoong did.

Jaejoong excused himself and flocked toward Yunho and his friends. “Hey, nice seeing you here.”

“You too,” he replied with a smile in place. “I guess this can count for our dinner together sometimes.” Yunho winked making Jaejoong laughed and Yunho introduced his friends with Jaejoong doing the same.

After making their group of friends make each other’s acquaintance they decided to get what would be considered two  larger tables and sat with each other.

“So you live with your cousin,” Jaejoong commented, smiling at Changmin, a first year student that was studying to be an endocrinologist. The quiet male nodded and lifted the corner of his lips slightly at Jaejoong.

“Yeah, and my friend Jeabum.”

“That must be nice. I’ve always wanted to room with my friends.” He sighed with longing as he spooned the white broth.

Yunho shook his head laughing. “Nope. It is horrible. You do not want to.”

“Hey,” Changmin glared at him chewing his grilled meat.

Yunho bared his teeth at him. “We’re cool, bro. I would just appreciate you picking up your dirty underwears more frequently and stinking up the place less.”

“That is you. As a fourth year student you should be more meticulous.”

“I am!” Yunho laughed. Jaejoong smiled fondly at their friendship and the ease between them.

“So, why do you not live by yourself?” Yunho asked.

“I live with my parents.”

“So?” Yunho arched an eyebrow, reaching for food.

“I am an only child.” Just as he said that someone walked towards them. “Sorry for being late,” the male apologized reaching for a seat.

“Kim Junsu, my cousin.” Jaejoong introduced without looking at him, flicking a pale calloused veiny hand in his direction.

Yunho smiled and introduced himself to the jolly male. He was a third year agriculture student.

As everyone got comfortable with each other, Yunho returned to their previous conversation with Jaejoong. “So what does being an only child has to do with anything?”

Jaejoong shook his head and took a sip from his alcoholic drink. “I cannot leave my grown parents all by themselves, what kind of son would I be?”

“You sound like a mommy boy.”

Jaejoong winked lowering his frosting drink, he slid his fingers down the foggy beer mug. “I am. I love my momma, what about you?”

Jaejoong saw how Yunho’s expression quickly turned dark and retreated before he smiled at Jaejoong like nothing occurred. “I am quite independent.” They left it at that.

“Hah! These useless friends of mine,” Yunho cussed under his breath as he stomped towards the karaoke place once again to go get his drunk friends.

He was tired of them doing this.

They were fourth year students and should be getting ready to graduate, not party around.

They were just careless.

He knew that they were doing this because they were regressing back to happier and freer times just like they did when they were graduating high school. He knew that, but he was still frustrated because they were taking his precious time away.

He had many thesis to write, many exams to prepare for and many hours of sleep to catch.

Walking down the lit sidewalks of the busy street he stopped when he saw two people down the alley behind the karaoke place. What caught his eyes was how one of them pushed the other away from him violently and their voice rise.

Yunho thought for a moment before their voices drifted to his ears clear as if they were standing right next to him, ‘should I stop them?’

“Stop doing this !”

He knew that voice.

Their voice lowered.

The one that was pushed away grabbed the pusher’s, the person Yunho knew, shoulders and said something he couldn’t hear.

Jaejoong! Kim Jaejoong. That’s who it was.

He momentarily froze and become indecisive.

If he were in trouble, as a friend, he should help. But he was scared of getting into some deep he had no desires to be a part of.

Jaejoong tried to push the other male away.

Yunho was wondering if they were fighting and if he did need to go save his new friend would he himself get hurt when the other male leaned forward and kissed him.

He kissed Jaejoong.

Lover’s quarrel.

Turning around like a robot he quickly walked away to get his friends with his heart beating fast.

Jaejoong was gay. No way!

He felt a little happy about that for no reason. He was also gay. The only gay one in his group of friends. While his cousin and roommate knew of his uality and accepted him no one else in their group did.

He was glad to make another gay friend.

Yunho realized how knowing a different part of someone’s life could change the way you looked at them.

The next time he encountered Jaejoong at school he suddenly looked different. Yunho found himself wondering how long has Jaejoong been dating men, how many people has he dated, has he had yet, is he someone that tops or bottom. He thought about all of those things just for the heck of it. H

e wasn’t exactly interested in Jaejoong, but that didn’t mean he didn’t notice how handsome he was. If he did one day fall for him, he reckon, he would have a large chance of landing him. He didn’t have to worry about finding a straight boy attractive.

Before they parted ways, Jaejoong invited Yunho out. “Want to have dinner together, soon?” He smiled that gentle customary smile of his.

“Yeah, sure.” He beamed at him, hitching up his one shoulder stringed bag.

“When do you have off?” Jaejoong asked, slowing down and flipping to face him.

Yunho hummed as he mentally ran over his schedule. “Two days. In two days I have the evening off from work. You?”

Jaejoong nodded and smiled. “I can make that work.”

They smiled at each other.

“See you then,” Yunho waved as he entered his classroom.

After eating dinner Jaejoong suggested that they go for a walk with the promise that the river, a little away from the small family run restaurant that he frequented a lot because of the well cooked food and how hospitable the family was, looked beautiful at night, like the sky meets the river at the end.

Yunho could tell that during the whole time they were eating Jaejoong had something on his mind that he wanted to let go off.

He received numerous of text messages and calls during the span of their dinner which made his face turn dark as the night went on. Yunho couldn’t place if he was sad, tired, defeated or angry

Making for the bridge they walked in silence as Jaejoong reached for something from his black two stringed backpack.

“You smoke?” Yunho exclaimed, surprised as the male slipped a little white stick in his mouth and played with the lighter.

He nodded and hummed, bringing his hand to his mouth and flicking the light on and lit his cigarette. He slipped the lighter into his jeans pocket and slipped the stick between his fore and middle finger. “You mind?” he asked.

Yunho made a face filled with utter disgust and nodded. “I lost an uncle to cigarette. He, over the years, paid for his painful death.”

Jaejoong smirked, air rushing out of his nose and he let the soft smoke filtered through his nose. “It’s a nasty habit.” He drew his lips into a tight line.

“Why do you do it?”

“Trying to get out of it,” he said, looking at Yunho as he placed the stick of death back in between his plush lips. “It gets worse when I am stressed out.”

Yunho stayed silent and tugged his eyes away from his visage.

“I am sorry, but you would mind not smoking around me? I am scared of second hand smoke.”

Chuckling the twenty three year old nodded and put out his cigarette. “Thank you.”

“No prob, I respect your decisions.”

“For how long have you been smoking?” Yunho asked.

Jaejoong hummed in the back of his throat as he rolled the cigarette between his fingers. “First year of college.”

“How have you been doing with your efforts of letting go if it?”

“Once every two months from two everyday.”

“Wow!” he exclaimed, proud. “How long have you been trying?”

“A year and a half in three…” he shook his head. “No, two months.” He grinned, his teeth flashing white in the darkness.

If you could call it darkness. With the aid of the light shining from the light poles it was nowhere near what Yunho would classify as darkness.

They walked in silence for the remainder of the way. Jaejoong told him to follow him, as he led him to the middle of the bridge to take in the beauty of nature and the night. “The stars are like little sparkly dots,” Yunho marveled.

It was as if little piece of diamonds were scattered over a dark velvet blanket and reflected on the tranquil water.

“Nature is beautiful,” Jaejoong agreed taking in the sight before him: The water gleamed under the moon, like it was gently being caressed to show its hidden beauty.

“It’s like the stars fell down at the end of the world and merged with the river,” Yunho commented, pointing towards the farthest end of the river that they could see. It was like a mirage.

“Yeah,” Jaejoong said softly distractedly.

“Is there something bothering you?” Yunho finally asked the quiet Jaejoong after a few minutes of silence.

He turned his face towards him, resting his chin on his tense shoulder, his arms resting on the rails of the bridge. “What? Why do you ask?” His voice was deep, smooth and calm, like the dark gleaming water underneath them.

“You just seemed to have something on your mind, that is all.”

He looked away from Yunho. “I guess you're right,” he sighed.

“What happened? You can refrain from telling me if you feel uncomfortable,” he quickly added.

Jaejoong chuckled, his Adam's apple bobbing. “No, I do not mind telling you.” He dropped his head sharply and glared down at the water, a crease forming between his brows. “Someone I...I was dating someone,” he looked at Yunho and smiled. He twisted the corner of his lips bitterly, forming that crooked smiled of his which still appeared as beautiful as the first time Yunho laid eyes on it.

“Someone I was dating,” he started again, “cheated on me.”

Yunho’s eyebrows went up ins shock. It must have been that man, he quickly put two and two together: So that’s why they were fighting, he realized.

“No way! I am so sorry,” he quickly apologized.

“Not your fault.” He slipped curtly, turning back to face the water. “I am disappointed.”

“Did you love the person?” he asked after a moment of silence.

Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah.” He inhaled. “A lot.”

They stayed like that for a moment till Yunho opened his mouth and shared, “I know this is helpful or anything, but I’ll share one of my biggest fears with you. One of my biggest worries about dating is being cheated on. ”

“Yeah. It stinks.”

Yunho decided on saying nothing, but simply reached out and squeezed Jaejoong’s left shoulder.

“I...We have been dating for four years.”

“.” Yunho hissed. It hurt worse when the person was someone that you’ve known for a very long time.

Jaejoong quickly glanced at him and chuckled in his throat, it rumbled there. “I was in love.” He exhaled. He stopped, lowered his face, and coughed. “I really need a smoke.”

“Ah, if you—”

“No,” he interjected in a harsh voice. “I,” he breathe roughly. “I do not want to smoke. It’s okay.”

“No, really….I am sorry,” Yunho quickly said. What else was he supposed to say, he wondered sneaking little glances at the melancholy male.

Jaejoong let out another short dry burst of laughter. “I am going to get over it soon.”

“You will,” Yunho cheered, massaging his shoulder. “You know about what I’ve just told you? My biggest worry about dating? Well, there is an extension to it.” He thought if he talked about himself Jaejoong would stop thinking about his position at the moment get lost in his misery instead.

“What about it?”

“The extension is the one I am being left for being a woman.”

There was a quiet moment of silence before Jaejoong flipped and looked at him, softly scowling. The darkness painted his face in dimensions, bringing out his beauty.

“What? A woman?”

Yunho laughed, pulling his hand back. He didn’t mind coming out to Jaejoong, one, because he knew he was also gay, and two, because at least now Jaejoong would really have something else to think about instead of his own predicament.

“Yeah. A woman. Because…” he swallowed. He knew Jaejoong was gay so he had no worries on that font, however, this was a delicate matter he was about to confessed. He wanted to share this with his new friend.

“I am gay.”

Jaejoong blinked in surprised. “Whoa!”

“Sorry I am not an effeminate, stereotypical male.” He laughed, cracking a joke.

“No, no! I am not...judging or anything.”

“I know you’re not.”

“Why did...”

“Why did I tell you?”

Jaejoong nodded.

“Because I...I trust you.”

Jaejoong sighed and dropped his face against his folded arms on top of the rails. “I guess you already know that I am gay, too?”

It was both a question and statement. Yunho told Jaejoong everything.

“Ah, I see,” he breathed. He looked up and smiled at Yunho. “I am glad that it is you that saw us.”

“Me too,” Yunho smiled.

“Hey,” Jaejoong asked a few minutes later, “have you been left before for a…” he didn’t finish, instead he jutted his chin in his direction.

“I…It’s delicate and complicated. I—”

“Noted. You do not like to talk about it.”

That wasn’t it, the wounds were just still very fresh.

They parted ways soon after and took the public bus home.

Jaejoong and Yunho didn’t know what actually made their friendship hit off, if it was them coming out with their uality, or their chemistry and the fact that they enjoyed spending time together and got each other’s jokes.
 

All they knew was  they they hit if off and enjoyed spending time together.

They started texting and calling the other as often as they could. They hung out more, Jaejoong came over to Yunho’s apartment as often as he could. But as the months passed, their friendship stayed platonic and grew deeper than any romantic relationship that they could have formed would ever become. They liked it that way.

They enjoyed the other’s presence and being able to confide in the other, but their feelings never ventured towards romantic. No matter how attractive Jaejoong found Yunho and his heart shaped smiles, and Yunho’s love for Jaejoong’s expressive bottomless eyes, and pouty lips. They were fine with just being friends. They found comfort in that. They found a place in each other’s life.