Part Five—Five Years Earlier…

In the dark of night Jaejoong slipped out of the bed of the person that he had accidentally fell asleep with after a hard round of fulfilling and felt for his clothes.

After this last lover and being cheated on he had started to suffer trust issues. Not wanting to get hurt like he was last time he had settled for strings of one nightstands, and sometimes partners that last for a few months before he broke things off before it got too deep.

The person he was trying to not wake up that night as he slipped his shirt on was a partner, someone he couldn’t even call friend. They had met at a bar and had gone on to spend the night together and had liked their body’s capabilities together and had decided to keep it up.

The man grumbled on his bed and flipped around. He hadn’t woken him. He breathe a sigh of relief.

Jaejoong reached for pants which were around his ankles and yanked them up. As he made to tiptoed out of the bedroom the male bolted up on his bed and his sleepy voice floated behind him. “Leaving?”

He looked back at him, letting his eyes grew accustomed to his tracing in the darkness of the chamber. He nodded, “Yeah. Go back to sleep,” he whispered in  hope of lulling him back to the lands of darkness and dreams.

“Why don’t you spend the night?” he grumbled sliding off bed, doing the opposite of what Jaejoong had asked of him.

Can’t.”

“Yes you can,” he whined, lurching towards Jaejoong with his arms out.

“I have work tomorrow”—and Jaejoong didn’t believe in spending the night with someone he wasn't dating. He just wanted nothing more.

“Aww,” he wrapped his arms around one of Jaejoong’s, “stay, please.” He dropped a needy kiss on his cheek.

Oh no! He pulled away. “I have to go. I enjoyed tonight. Lock the door or me.” He stated in a firm voice, reminding him of the rules. He quickly made his escaped.

That morning when he sat down for breakfast his mother looked up from her coffee and commented on his late arrival last night.

“Mom,” he sighed buttering his toast, not catching her searing gaze, “I am only twenty five, after all.”

“I was not commenting on the time you came home,” she flicked a wrist lightly, showing how uninterested she was of his night time activities and took a light sip of her dark brew. “When can I meet her?”

Biting his toast he finally looked up at his mother. He sighed and swallowed the melted bread in his mouth. He didn’t want to lie to his mother, but his love live at the moment was a mess. He didn’t want her on his case if she knew that he was literally sleeping around. She held strict views on and worried about him catching STDs—he did too, which was why he used condoms and made sure to ask about his partners’ ual history, even though it is awkward and had ruin many moods. He hadn’t care. Better safe than sorry.

“If we get serious.”

“Hmm,” she tutted, and he hoped that was the end of it.

His father walked and lucky that was the end of their conversation.

Jaejoong had always wondered about love: how did people fall in love? Why did you look at someone that you’ve known for what seems like forever one day and suddenly feel different about them? How do you know if you were, indeed, in love and it wasn’t a passing effectuation?

What he had requested of Yunho, introducing the man in his life to his friends, was done sooner than later by Yunho.

Jaejoong had known the moment he gave the man in his friend’s life a firm handshake that they were now dating and Yunho was serious about him. He was in love with him, and it bothered him.

Jaejoong never really thought about Yunho, his love life, or if he could ever be interested in the man or their future friendship—he always thought they would continue as they had been for the past two years, perfectly in love with their friendship with each other. He had just wanted to be with Yunho.

However, after he became friends with Yunho he would always sat in front of him or by his sides when they were out in a large group for dinner. He was the one that would take care of the heart shaped lipped man and make sure he eat and fill his cup. He enjoyed doing it and had started to look after him without giving it much thought. He took care of most of his close friends, and even those he wasn’t close with sometimes, but when it came to Yunho he enjoyed taking care of him a lot. Which was weird in itself. But it felt special, different when he would look out for his friend. Be the one to hug him when he was down, give him advice when he needed it, and take him out he was tired to rehabilitate him. He had enjoyed the special place he held in his friend’s life.

It was beyond awkward to sit so far away from Yunho and watch someone else make him smile and place food on his plate and fill his cup, that was Jaejoong's job. It was equally weird to see Yunho return the favor. It shouldn’t bother him, and the fact it did bothered him more.

When he had called Yunho back from a miss call, talking to him for the first time in three weeks, as they both were busy with their work and their fast paced life, he invited him to have dinner with his friends and told him that Haneul would also be present. His introduction to the gang, as in to those that knew of his uality and to those that didn’t know he would just be seen as a new friend added to the ever growing group.

They were seeing each other for the first time in two months. He had missed Yunho as he normally did after not seeing the male for such a long time. It had been a perfectly normal feeling, had thought before that night.

Jaejoong couldn’t help but wondered what Yunho and Haneul did during those two months that he didn’t know. The fact that Haneul might know more about Yunho than him, again, bothered him. Why was he so bothered?

“Not hungry?” Jaebum inquired.

He shook his head and smiled. “No. Just a little tired.”

His friend’s roommate noddd. “I got you. Work also has been killing me. I miss being young. The problems I had when I was young do not compare to the ones I face as an adult.”

Jaejoong laughed and sneaked a look at Yunho and his boyfriend, they both had a smile on their faces with their head close together as they talk. Haneul made Yunho happy.

Did he make Yunho happy? Jaejoong shook his head at his train of thought. Of course he did. He must have, after all, they were friends and kept in touch.

Turning toward a jovial Jaebum he asked absentmindedly, “If you could go back to an age, what would it be?”

“Five years old, definitely!”

“Why?” he returned Yunho’s roommate's smile.

“At five you hardly have any worries. You do not have to worry about school, or have to work hard for your future, all you have to do is enjoy life and the innocence of the world.”

They shared a laugh at how true his explanation rang.

“You?” he spooned food in his mouth.

Jaejoong sneaked  a look at Yunho again. He hadn’t spared him a  glance? Was Haneul better looking than him, a better conversationalist, made him more happy, made his worries disappear around him? What did he have that he didn’t? Haneul couldn’t be better looking than him, Jaejoong was certain of that. He had always known he was good looking since he was naught but a tiny child. Haneul  was around the same height as him, same weight, a little thinner even, same skin tone and cropped dark hair, but he wasn’t a conventionally good looking man. He was too mousy. He had kind eyes and a gentle smile which lended a nice air about him, but he definitely didn’t beat Jaejoong.

He was the one that knew all of Yunho’s quirks and could make him laugh in no time. Yunho shared with him that he enjoyed hanging out with him because he always know how to make him feel good. Could it be that Yunho just didn’t and couldn’t see him as more than just a friend. Why was he thinking about these things, anyway, Jaejoong frowned.

Jaebum’s elbow on his side yanked him from his spiraling thoughts. He cleared his throat and smiled at the male. “Hmm?”

“You haven’t answered me.”

He blinked in confusion. “What?”

“Personal favorite age?”

“Ah!” he constructed a polite smile and projected it at him. “I think...teenagehood. Seventeen, maybe.”

“Why?”

“Then I was already in control of my uality, I had an enough handle of the world and it was the highlight of my teenage years.”

The male slowly nodded as he chew. “Seems legit.”

He politely laughed and nodded. “Yeah.”

He didn't want to hold a conversation with Jaebum, he wanted to talk to his roommate, Yunho, the man that was ignoring him.

Would Yunho ignore him the whole night? Jaejoong thought, looking over at the man in question. He didn’t seem to have eyes for anyone but his boyfriend.

Would Yunho be one of those people who forget their friend the moment they start to date? Jaejoong’s heart tightened as fear entered him.

They would break up, that was how their society works. Haneul looked like a man that would get married and have kids like society dictates and Yunho would be hurt once again.

Jaejoong wished for his friend’s long lasting happiness, even if he knew it was complete rubbish. But he would be there for him. He would always be there for Yunho and was the one that would never try to deliberately hurt him.