Chapter 7

Doyoung’s POV

I was washing my hands at the sink. I looked at the mirror in front of me. I was cleaning my hands with the soap while the water was still running from the tap. I sighed, looking at myself on the mirror. Why I get the feeling that Ara is Ara….

I stopped and turned off the tap. I looked at my own eyes through the mirror. It was full of hesitation and confusion. Normal and out of the box predictions were in my head. I’m thinking what would happen?

I wished that I could met her though…. But I wasn’t ready…..

What if she’s mad at me....

I don’t know what to do….

What if she forgot me already….

And, what if she is not my Ara……, you will break your own heart at the end…... I’ve been searching for her all this time…. But I didn’t have any of her contact…even one…..

 If you’re really Ara, my Yoon Ara. Did you remember me?...... Did you realize that this Doyoung…….. is your Kim Doyoung?....... If you’re her…….will you be mad at me?........ ,.

Is this a kind of plan?...

...or trick from life?.....

 

I sighed at myself.

 

 

“Who are you…..?”, I asked slowly, as I looked at the mirror.

I stared at my own reflection as I was trying to get myself together.

If it is really her will she still remember my face…? That isn’t the important thing. Will she still remember all the memories?...that is the most important thing.

I grab some tissues and wiped my hands. I threw the tissues that I used and went out from the restroom.

 

 

“Yah! What do you mean ‘Who are you?’”, Ten said as I walked through the door. His hands were on his pocket while his body was leaning on the wall.

“WOA!!, …….omg what are you doing here! standing and waiting like a ghost….”, I said to him as I was still startled because of him. He was looking at me with his really ‘questionable’ eyes.

“Don’t change the topic, I’m still here”, Ten said as he was still looking seriously at my eyes. Well, it’s true I haven’t shared this problem to anyone since I came here for the first time, and actually I didn’t want to share it to anyone. And the 6 of us made promise to tell all of our secrets even though it’s the worst times.

 “Just forget it, it’s nothing.”, I said to him as I smiled weakly and started to walk back to the class room, but Ten grabbed my arm.

“Come on……we’ve been friends since years…..tell me what’s your problem.”, he said as he smiled widely to me, resting his arm at my shoulder. He broke the awkwardness.

“Ok fine………………...but later in the classroom.”, I said to him and he showed a thumb up at me as he smiled, and then he went inside the rest room.

 

Aishhhhhhhhh…… I should have not say that out loud. Now the problem’s growing bigger. I talked to my own brain quietly while I was on my way back to the class room. I ran my hand through my hair. I opened the door of the classroom and sat back on my chair.

I opened my laptop………..

and suddenly my eyes caught her through the black screen. I stared at her figure.

 

She was talking with her friends.

I haven’t my laptop yet, just to see her. Her hair………the same color……the same hairstyle..…her shoulder……..her back……..her neck……….

 

I continued to look at her through the screen. I was observing her as I was trying to remember Ara my old best friend’s physical feature too. Well… of course they also had went through their puberty though………...but why……….…they always looked the same in my eyes………..

 

Confused and frustrated by it. “BAM!” I closed my laptop harshly and grab my novel. I opened the novel and started to read from the page that I left before.

Mark and Jaehyun were shocked and they were looking at me with ‘WHAT HAPPENED?!’ looks. They stopped with what they were doing, I guess they were playing games together.

They were staring at me without a blink from their eyes. I was okay a minute ago and now maybe they thought I was having a mental breakdown. Great!!!

“Ah, I’m sorry”, I said to them softly as I forced a smile at them. “Oh God, I thought you was about to throw your laptop at us”, Mark said as he let out a relieved sigh, as well as Jaehyun. “Doyoung-ah just tell us if you have a problem okay. You don’t need to blame them on your precious laptop.”, Jaehyun said as he smiled while he started to continue on his game. I continued to read my novel, trying to get her out of my mind.

“Ayyooo, I’m back!”, Ten said as he walked to our table. He smiled widely at the 3 of us. He sat on his chair that is beside me.

“Ayyyy bro!, so what’s the problem ?”, Ten asked me as he put his hand on my shoulder, he gave his bright smile at me, ready to listen my ‘concern’.

I looked at him blankly. I placed my novel on the table and crosses my arms. I messaged my head lightly with my right hand.

 

Mark, Jaehyun and Ten were already looking at me as they smiled to me.

I looked at them with ‘Really?!’ looks.

They nodded at me in unison.

I sighed, placing my hands on my pocket and tried to sit properly.

 

“So……….” I started the story. They looked so focus already.

“Actually I wasn’t planning to tell this though……..

But as you know this friend beside me seems have a perfect listening skills.” I said to them as I looked at Ten and smiled weakly at him.

 

 

“It’s okay, just continue”, Jaehyun said as he rested his head on his hand. He looked at me giving signs to continue my sentences.

And the story begins…

 

“I was a shy boy back then in Daegu, and ………. Maybe……….. you could say that I was a nerd .. ….  ….  .   ... ? when I was a kid until 7 years old…..”

They all were listening at me….. ‘seriously’. Wow

 

“I was bullied many times…., but I was already used to it. And I didn’t want to make problems bigger, so I always the one who will back off….”

“one day, …..I was playing at the playground near my house…….

I didn’t like crowded places but I wanted to play.

That playground was empty and not really crowded, even though it’s really big.

I was trying to build a sand castle.

It was peaceful.

Until…..

There were a bunch of boys who suddenly came to me,

I didn’t know what they were trying to do to me. So I stay calm and quiet.”

I sighed before continuing the story. Flashbacks were playing on my head.

Including her.

“suddenly, one of the boy pulled my collar and pushed me to the wall.

I was shocked and my parents wasn’t there. And there was nobody except us.

I tried to shout as loud as I could. But no one came.

They were punching me and throwing foods at me.

I looked like……

‘Trash’”, I stopped for a while……….. Shocked were in their eyes.

 

 

Maybe they thought I was a cold, smart city boy.

And they thought I was the kind of boy who got many secret admirers.

But,

That wasn’t my true self.

I always act strong all this time.

And she is the one who made me this strong and tough to life……

 

“After half an hour,

I saw a girl coming through the playground.

She was playing the slides and the swings.

I was about to shout for help at her…..

But she was just a little girl, I can’t involve her on fights like this.

 

She noticed me from the first place.

But I understand her she was scared.

I had no energy to fight back……

 

Bruises were everywhere and

Their foods were everywhere.

 

She looked at me and the boys who were bullying me.

She was staring at us from the swings.

I didn’t know what’s her planning because I thought she wasn’t planning to do anything since it was about ‘fighting’ and she was alone by herself.

 

Out of a sudden……

She stepped forward…..

I looked at her with questioning eyes.

I thought she was crazy or insane…

I mean, seriously 5 boys vs. a girl.

 

I tried to shout ‘STOP’.

But no voice came from my mouth.

 

She and one of the boy who bullied me were arguing and bla bla bla. She seems really angry.

 

Out of a sudden she slapped the boy.

Really ‘HARD’.

 

I wasn’t expecting anything from her…

I was surprised by her action….

 

Well, all of us were surprised”

Ten, Mark and Jaehyun were staring at me with ‘WOW’ and ‘UNBELIEVABLE’ looks.

 

“I was really thankful that she came……

Because I thought I will be gone forever because of suicide..

She helped me and tried to calm me down…

 

Even though I looked …soulless and hopeless already……..

 

I wanted to do a payback to her. But she always denies it.

She said accompany me to play at this play ground every evening is already enough. And I promised her to come every evening as long as she wants to.

But it isn’t enough for me.

 

 

I tried to give her some presents.

Necklaces, flowers, chocolates and even drawings of each other.

But she considered it as a ‘present’ not a ‘payback’.

So whenever I gave her something, she always give me something else in the next day.

 

 

But now, I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I’m going to move soon.

 

 

I broke my promise already.

 

I tried to give ‘fever’ and ‘sick’ as a reason.

But actually that wasn’t the problem.

 

I tried to make her used to play without me…

And tried to bond with the other kids, if there any…

 

I even imagined if she already had another best friend who is better than me….

And I know she will not forget me….

Because..

I was the one who left her alone….

 

I know that right now she’s mad at me…..”

I stopped telling my story to my friends. But then, Ten broke the silence.

 

“So, what’s the connection between ‘Who are you’ before?...”

 

Mark and Jaehyun were like ‘WHAT?!’

 

“Ahhh,

I was thinking about her…

Because right now I think she’s here……..”

 

I said as I sighed.

 

“WHAT?!”, Jaehyun, Ten and Mark said in unison. Thank God the class was noisy.

“What do you mean by ‘here’?” Jaehyun asked me as he looked at me with questioning look.

 

The 3 of them tried to look around the class.

I lowered my head at them and give a sign to move closer to me.

 

I whispered.

“She. Is. Yoon Ar. And. Now. She’s. Right. Behind. Me.”

 

After I told them clearly, really ‘clearly’, the 4 of us tried to sit properly again.

 

The 3 of them took a quick glance on her as they were pretending to look at the clock and made some fake whistles.

“ohhh…..So that’s the reason why you choked on the first break…”, Jaehyun said.

“And that’s the reason why you was looking at her this morning like you just met an angel…”, Ten said.

“And she’s the reason why you’re become like this……..”, Mark the maknae said.

 

Ten’s, Jaehyun’s and my eyes were on Mark directly.

 

 

“What do you mean by………… ‘like this’?......”, Ten asked our maknae.

 

“Well….. he said he was a shy boy and he was a nerd…..

That means she was his life savior!”, Mark explained his theory to us.

We were nodding at him.

 

“So………………….

What’s the problem though…..

You missed her right and now she’s here…., you have to be happy”, Jaehyun said as he lowered his voice.

 

“The thing is.

If she’s really Yoon Ara, ‘my’ Yoon Ara…..

And she found out that I’m Kim Doyoung his old bestfriend…

I think our friendship will not going to run well……..”, I said as I looked at them… trying to think what should I do.

I mean she knows me a lot and

too much.

From my personality,

Allergies,

Blood type,

Hobies,

Even my phobia.

 

“Are you sure……….. that she is mad at you..  .. ?, I mean you can’t see her perspective. Maybe she still misses you a lot. Who knows?... maybe she was searching for you, this whole time…….”, Jaehyun said as the others were listening to him.

But I was already sure that she didn’t want to know me again, because I broke my own promise already…. And I left her without a clue.... and she considered me as her best friend already. And it’s been 10 years since I’m gone.

 

 

“But,

She doesn’t deserve me anymore……….

She deserves a better one…

I left her without a clue…

not even a single proper good-bye…….”, I said as I looked down and sighed deeply.

 

I missed her.

I wanted to hug her whenever I saw her.

But I can’t.

I feel guilty.

She doesn’t need someone who left her without a clue on her memories or life anymore…

Even though it is really hurtful for me….

 

Ten patted my back.

“Let’s find out then………., we’ll tell the others later”, he said as he was trying to calm me down.

 

“Find out what?”, I asked him and I heard sighs from my friends.

“Bro, you’re the one who want to solve it right …………..”, the maknae said as he can’t believe what he heard.

“yes………………………………………………………………………………….?”, I said to them, still don’t understand what do they mean.

 

“OF cOuRsE, TrYIng To FINd oUT, if She’s Your ArA or NO”, Jaehyun said as he looked at me with ‘UNBELIEVABLE’ look.

 

“WTF NO, HOW”, I said to them a bit louder. Thank god the class was busy enough.

“Yass we cannnn”, Mark said cheerfully as he smiled at the 3 of us.