FINALE: SMOLL RED RIDING HOOD

Once there was a dear smol boy who was feared by everyone who looked at him, but not by his beloved grandfather, Seungcheol. He would spoil the boy by giving him gifts, and heck, even a guitar (which he maybe have stolen from Jisoos with an unbelievable and impossible stealth, because it looked like Jisoos didn't notice it being stolen). The guitar quickly became the boy's best friend, often bringing the guitar wherever he goes. 

Once Seungcheol gave him a red riding hood, which suited him so well that people began to dub him "Smol Red Riding Hood". Apparently, 'smol' was praise to his ears (since The Great and Legendary Swag Suga was called smol, too) and now he wouldn't be bothered by people asking for aegyo^* when the red riding hood does it for him.

Ever since then, he wasn't seen without the riding hood.

 
One fine day, Minghao, one of his close 'mercenary' friends, entered his house like he's been doing it for years via the window, "Jihoon-hyung, you pabo!" Jihoon stared up at the newcomer with a surprised look, "Your grandfather's sick! Don't you know?" 

"Wha-?" before he could form coherent sentences, Minghao shoved him a box, "What are you waiting for? Go! I gotta hide from Jisoos!" he exited via the window. Again.

He sighed and looked outside a window. The sky's noticeably dark, and the forest on the horizon gives off an ominous feeling. Speaking of forests, he's going through that dark, creepy forest again. He's heard that it was full of wolves from what he heard from Seungkwan, the boy who cried John—his title for him since Seungkwan himself loves giving him and his friends nicknames. But poor him. The sheep he was supposed to tend were eaten by the 10:10 wolf. He'd never seen the said wolf in person; he just based from Seungkwan's description and imagined what the 10:10 wolf looks like. 

 
He exited the ever quiet, dull wooden house, bringing the box and his trusty guitar that was strapped on his shoulders with him. He followed the dirt trail that leads deeper into the dark forest. There's no need to rush; those idiots would keep Jisoos's and the Yoon's attention from him; he must say that those idiots grew balls of steel to actually steal from Jisoos. Soon, the sunlight was blocked by thick and dense foliage. Any person would be lost in the woods and soon be eaten by some random monster but not him. The trees, the plants, the flora; everything was familiar in his eyes. Just as he was trudging through the woods, a wolf met him.

It was no ordinary wolf. It was somehow a mix with a human and a wolf, a lycanthrope. For some reason, the wolf gave off a weird aura that made him stop in his tracks. The wolf's eyes bore deep into his as if the wolf's studying his movements.

"Good day, Smol Red Riding Hood." immediately he knew the answer just from hearing his deep, husky voice.

'This wolf's emo. He knows my name too. Am I that famous?' the thought of it made the corner of his lips lift unconsciously. 

But nonetheless, he heard the word 'smol'.

"Thank you... wolf. Might I know your name?" he hesitated to ask for a bit but once he saw the wolf's kind (and fake) awkward smile, he calmed down a bit. The wolf told him that his name was Wonu^*.

"Why are you so early, Smol Red Riding Hood?" this wolf's different from the others he once saw, especially the 10:10. He's not only emo, but he's also a clever one. He knew that using the golden word would make the smol child drift away from rationality. 

"Going to my grandfather's house." again, poor Jihoon got carried away by the praise and blurted the information out.

"What have you got there, Smol Red Riding Hood?" the wolf pointed at the box. He eyed it with curiosity.

"A piece of chicken for my poor, sick grandfather," Jihoon answered without hesitating, for he had lost all his common sense. He lifted the box.

"Where does your grandfather live?" at this point the wolf demanded an answer. Jihoon pondered for a moment.

"His house stands under the three thick oak trees somewhere here; you can't miss it," Jihoon replied.

'The chicken's delicious... but I'm gonna kill two—no, three birds with one stone.' Wonu thought as his eyes glinted maliciously.

The wolf walked beside him for a short time, before pointing at the suspicious 'flowers', "Look, Smol Red Riding Hood! There are wolfsbanes! Maybe your halabeoji^* would love those?" 

"You're right. Halabeoji would love those." he stared in the direction of where the wolf's pointing. He trailed away from the wolf. The latter grinned mischievously.

'Now's the time.'

The wolf sneaked away from the unsuspecting child, towards a certain place. A certain place where his dinner is waiting. He couldn't care less if that wolfsbane poisoned the boy. It would make his job easier. 
 
Finally, he found the said house. He stood in front of the door, scowling.

'Seriously, who lives this deep in the forest?'

The wolf knocked.

"Who's there?" a weak voice accompanied by a cough answered from the other side.

"It's Smol Red Riding Hood!" he imitated the boy's voice with his impossibly high-pitched voice.

Not only he is an emo, cunning wolf. He's full of aegyo, too.

"Just open the latch, can't get up." more coughs can be heard from the other side.

'Geez, ahjusshi^*, buy a padlock or something.' 

He got rid of the latch and entered the simple abode. He found the weak man lying sickly on his bed. The wolf advanced towards the man, and when he saw the wolf's face, he shivered, shocked. Before the man could scream for help, the wolf leaned towards his ear and whispered lame jokes. It was so lame that it made the grandfather pass out.

Wonu picked the passed out grandfather and stuffed him in a shelfless cabinet. A freaking cabinet. Seriously...

He proceeded to jump on the bed and pulled the blankets up, hiding his body. He also blew out some candles to dim his appearance and put on a cap that Seungcheol once wore. Now he would wait for his second dinner.

Back to our dear Smol Red Riding Hood, he plucked a handful of wolfsbane, but for some reason, it didn't poison him. Maybe because it wasn't actually a wolfsbane. Or maybe because Satansoo didn't let him die since he is a potential threat to his throne. Either way, he didn’t care.

He stood up from the ground, as he was kneeling before. He continued on his way on the dirt path, the box in his left hand a bouquet of wolfsbane on the other. He saw some purple flowers not far away from the spot he was in, but he remembered something. Right, he was supposed to go to his grandfather's house now, or else his condition will worsen.
 
He resumed walking on the dirt road, holding the bouquet of wolfsbane tightly; the wolf he met earlier gone in his mind. A minute later, he arrived at the destination. He was surprised to see that the cottage door was wide open. With his rationality restored, Smol Red Riding Hood entered the dark house. The lighting was dim, but not enough for it be completely shrouded in darkness. The boy made his way to the bed, with wolfsbane in his hand. He peeked at the figure on the bed.

But he was not stupid to see that the outline of his 'grandfather' is massive, compared to his usual old, frail body. 

"Who the are you?" the boy let out a curse that startled the masquerading wolf. He had never heard the boy curse at their first meeting. The wolf faked-cough and answered in a tone that of Seungcheol's, "It's your halabeoji, child. Don't curse at me, brat." he faked-cough again.

The Smol Red Riding Hood was not to be belittled. The boy raised an eyebrow, still unconvinced, while he placed the box on a nearby table and put his free hand on his waist.

"Sure. You have a wolf's ears, and claws for hands. Halabeoji, are you secretly a lycanthrope?" his tone dripped sarcasm. Knowing that the damn boy caught him red-handed, he hastily tried to grab the child with his claws, dropping the cap in the process.

"You're gonna be dinner, boy!" again, the Smol Red Riding Hood was not to be belittled. Reflexively, he threw the wolfsbane bouquet, and it smacked the angry wolf square in the face. The wolf fell on the bed, dizzy from the touch of the bouquet of wolfsbane.

Duh. Of course, wolves won't die from wolfsbane poisoning. It's named after them, after all.

Suddenly, loud pounding sounds came from the cabinet. Taking advantage of the situation. The boy agitatedly reached for the cabinet and opened it with such force. Inside it was his grandfather. He looked pale and even went paler when he stared behind the boy, and let out a girly shriek like a ing teenage high school girl.

Ignoring his embarrassing grandfather's shriek, the boy spun around in a blink of an eye and grabbed whatever he could in his reach to bash the wolf on the head—which so happens to be the guitar. Jihoon bashed it against the wolf's skull, effectively knocking him out. The guitar let out a distinct 'Hong' sound. At that exact moment, the skies thundered so loud that it made both of them flinch.

Oops, bad idea...

However, the bash didn't kill the wolf. Wonu's skull is thicker than most of the other wolves' skulls, able to withstand the mental and physical pain of lame jokes besides his.

"Halabeoji, shh!" he refrained from cursing. It's rude and disrespectful. Seungcheol shut his mouth. 

"I-Is he dead?" Seungcheol stuttered, even his teeth were chattering. Jihoon lowered the guitar and went slowly towards the passed out wolf. He breathed faintly in the dim room. The grandfather regained his posture and lighted a few candles to light the room more.
Seungcheol then took the box, ate the chicken and felt revived.

The door was left open for him to practically drag the unconscious wolf out of the house and into a bed of wolfsbanes. It was tiring really, so he stayed at his grandfather's house until dinner just to rest.

 
The sun was beginning to set and Jihoon bid his grandfather goodbye. He went back on the dirt road and followed the faint trail of his footprints. Gradually, the sun went down until it can be no longer seen in the sky. Somehow, the boy lost his way, for he can longer see the footprints. He laid down on a nearby tree and rested for a while because he was exhausted. With the guitar by his side, he thought. How can he possibly lose his way? He'd been walking for hours and still, he can't find the clearing of the woods. 

He inspected the surroundings. It was unfamiliar to him. There was no thick foliage covering the forest so that he could clearly see the bright, full moon above. He was so sure that he followed the right path; not to mention, he feels something's wrong...

His thoughts were interrupted by a presence of yet another wolf. He studied the wolf intently. This time, he wasn't Wonu or 10:10. It was a tall wolf, estimated to be around 6 feet tall. Not to mention, he sang a song that was somehow familiar... The wolf didn't seem to notice him and pranced merrily on his way. 

"Mansae, mansae, mansae, yeah! Mansae, mans-"

Then he was stopped when he tripped over a lone tree root. Dang, that's one hell of a clumsy wolf.

"Ouch." Jihoon realized that he unconsciously said it aloud.

The wolf groaned and eased the pain by rubbing his foot. He turned at the sound of 'ouch' and saw a boy sitting in front of a tree beside a guitar. 

'. What a great way to get noticed.'

He stared deep into the eyes of the wolf searching for a glint of murderous intent, which to his surprise, found none but confusion. The boy was dumbfounded.

"...Uh, can you stop staring? It's uncomfortable." the wolf fidgeted in his place while still rubbing his foot. "What's a child doing here late in the woods anyway?" the wolf asked.

Jihoon remained dumbfounded. Never in his smol life had he encountered such a bizarre wolf. Deciding that the wolf has no mischievous intent, the boy spilled the beans, "I'm lost. I've been walking for hours and still can't find the clearing of the woods. And now it's nighttime..." his voice quieted on the last part as he stared lifelessly at the sky.

"Let me help you. I know this forest like the palm of my hand." the wolf finally stood up and stumbled towards the still sitting boy. The boy raised his brow in suspicion. If he's planning something, he's not going to hesitate to smack his face with a guitar. His hand unconsciously traveled to the guitar. He tested the wolf with a question.

"You don't know me?" the wolf scratched the back of his neck. The boy stood up slowly due to his tired legs. 

"Do you know Smol Red Riding Hood?" Goodness, it feels so good to hear that word. The wolf shrugged, and the boy sighed. Does this wolf live under a rock? Heck, even Wonu knows him! The wolf looked genuinely confused. 

"Never mind. Lead the way." Taking the risk, he strapped the guitar on his back and followed the wolf. However, his pace was so slow that he has to catch up to the wolf. Finally, he was side by side with the strange wolf. He realized he was panting when the wolf pointed it out. The boy explained to him that he was just exhausted because he walked for hours.

"Ride on my back then." the wolf offered. Jihoon stopped in his tracks and stared weirdly at the wolf, which made the latter uncomfortable again. The boy decided that his legs were tired and took his offer. He made the wolf hold the guitar before hopping on his back.
 
It was a sight to behold, a wolf giving his prey a piggy bank ride. Along the way, they chattered and introduced themselves to each other. He learned that he was also a lycanthrope, like Wonu. But his name was Memegyu^*. He once mentioned 'Wonu' to him.

"Oh. He's my closest childhood friend," he explained.

On their way to the clearing, he also revealed a bit about himself. He's not just limited to meat since he cooks various kinds of food like ramen, jjajangmyeon, kimchi, and the like. Eventually, their chat ended when they reached the clearing. 

"You can drop me here. I can find my way from here. Thanks for helping me." the boy gave the wolf a rare, sweet smile. They bid their goodbyes and went their ways. The wolf admitted that he's kinda... smol. He's going to meet him again someday, and he will look forward to it.

Oh yes, he will definitely look forward to it. 

His genuine smile slowly transformed into a malicious smirk, revealing the guitar on his back. He whipped out an old-fashioned phone out of his satchel and called someone.

'You used to call me on my cellphone,
Late night when you need my-'

"Hello?" the person from the other line answered spoke in pure Yeong Eo^*. 

"Hanso- I mean, Vernon! I got it!" he practically shrieked at the other line, which made the other person's ears explode, "I got it! I got Jisoos's guitar!" 

He could imagine what his face would look like from the tone of his voice, "Really!? Where did you get it from?" he let Mingyu-hyung get away this time only for destroying his eardrums as his excitement took over.

"From Jihoon!"

"Who's that? Whatever! Bring the guitar here quick! That thing's going to pay for what it did to me and Jisoos." he hung up.

Mingyu returned the Jeonhwa^* phone in his satchel and pranced merrily back to the path leading towards the city with the guitar strapped on his shoulder, while singing the song again. That boy—Jihoon was it?—Oh, he's going to be screwed once he realizes that Jisoos's guitar was stolen from him. Twice. Not to mention, Jisoos's chicken too. He's been following that guitar for days, and quite frankly, he saw everything; he saw how that random dude randomly entered the house, he saw how Jihoon, or Smol Red Riding Hood, smashed Wonwoo's head with the guitar. He should visit Wonwoo too, after the guitar has been given to Vernon.

But for now...

"Mansae, mansae, mansae, yeah!"

Author's Note: 

TERMINOLOGY:

Halabeoji means grandfather.

Aegyo... I'm pretty sure every KPOP fan ever knows what aegyo is... right?

Yeong Eo means English in Korean. (The more you know~)

Jeonhwa is literally phone in Korean. So Jeonhwa phone literally means Phone phone xD

Ahjusshi is an honorific used for middle-aged men.

Wonu is literally what 원우 is. Actually, it's Won U. Not kidding, you can even search it up. Or learn the Hangul to know.

Memegyu... search it on Google xD

And there goes my first fanfiction ever.

I tried, mom. I tried :'(

Omfg, you didn't know how much I cringed while writing this poorly-written story! So here you go, dear Carats! A parody of the classic Grimm Brothers' Tale,  Little Red Riding Hood. So, what do you think? Did you cringe so hard? Are you dead yet? I really need your feedbacks and opinions about the story and the following questions below. Criticisms are welcome ^_^

Please don't be a silent reader xC So you guys know who's Seungkwan based from? Or even Suga? lol 5 karma pts. to whoever guesses right xD

Also, it's up to you if you see Wonwoo and Mingyu as full-fledged werewolf —you know, the fur and all or if they're just like humans but with tails, claws, and ears like a wolf's. I personally prefer the latter :) That's why I didn't really describe how they looked like.

Don't hate me in the ending xC it's done for a potential sequel (kinda). So, should I write a sequel (kinda) to this story where Jeonghan, Joshua and the others appear? I already have in mind... hehe Something along the lines of:

'"Five months," he announced, his sword of fire still pointed at him, "Five months to find Jisoos-nim's guitar or the entirety of Ma Eul will be hell on Earth," he withdrew his flaming sword and spread his white, feathery wings. The Yoon gave Jihoon a frown before flying off to Jisoos-knows-where. A white feather fell from the sky; it obviously belongs to Yoon's wings. He held out his hand and caught the light feather. He glanced at it blankly.

Five months. Five ing months to find that guitar or his hometown would be nothing more but a barren wasteland. The fate of Ma Eul practically rests in the palm of his hand. He's not Percy ing Jackson dammit! His fists clenched at the thought, crushing the tiny white feather. He grabbed his signature red riding hood, the same one that his grandfather gave to him. He trudged outside of his house to get some fresh air. How was he going to find that guitar, he doesn't even know where to begin with!'

lol and they would sing Mansae, Pretty U, and Adore U at the end xD

Maybe I should make another cringe-worthy parody titled The Boy Who Cried John for Seungkwan lol. I already finished that story and I'll let you readers decide if I should post it or not xD

_Miss_Right_ singing out.