Kyuhyun POV

It has been 5 months already…

That night…

I padded to wookie’s ward, and when I reached the door…

I slowly pushed it open…

They said the most he got is 3 months or less…

Doctors aren’t God…

Now it’s already in the middle of summer,

And my love is still here by my side.

He lay weakly on the bed with his upper body supported by a pillow leaned against the headboard.

The chemotherapy didn’t worked well,

It’s two weeks ago when he started can’t use his legs anymore…

If he wanted to go somewhere,

It’s either I’ve to carried him or pushed him on the wheelchair

He even can just barely talk…

If he does speak, it just came out as soft whispers…

Even though he’s getting weaker by each day,

He would never forget to give me his warm smile…

For ones who small, wookie seems so strong.

My love is strong…

I think I’m falling for him over and over again.

“Can we go outside? I wanna take a closer look at the stars.” He asked me.

I just return his smile and walk towards him.

I put my arms under his knees and over his shoulder,

And then scooped him up in my embrace…

He just leaned his head against my chest.

Both of us stay silent when I walked along the corridor whilst carrying him bridal style,

There’s something melancholic about this night…

I know that he can feel it too,

But neither of us said anything about it…

Let’s just cherish the moment that we’ve still got as much as we could…

Instead of bringing him to the lawn like I’ve always do when he wants to watch the stars..

This time, I bring him to the rooftop…

I sit on the floor and placed his upper body on my lap.

I’ve already support his shoulder with my arms so he won’t slide down against my chest, but he still clutched onto my shirt like his life depends on it.

Then he started to speak…

It’s barely audible that I’ve to get my face closer to his so that I can listen to him better.

“people said that if someone died, they’ll become the star in the sky… is it true Kyuie?”

“Yes, but It’s just applied to someone with good heart only...” I smiled at him.

“Do you think I’ll be able to be the star?” he asked me again whilst looking at me with his half lidded eyes.

“There’s no one in the world that I’ve ever met  have a good heart like yours… Of course you’ll be a star, my star…” I coaxed him.

“That’s good then, I want to watch you happy from up there…”

Oh no Kyuhyun, don’t you dare to cry,

Not now…

“So.. promise me Kyuie, promise that you’ll be happy when I’m not here anymore…”

“I-I…” my eyes already glistening with tears

“Promise me Kyuie…” he demanded

Wookie pabo.. Haven’t I told you already that there’s no way I could be happy when you aren’t by my side?..

My mind is protesting, but my body shows the opposite…

Make him as happy as possible while he’s still here.

This is his wish, I’ll just give him what he want…

Reluctantly…

I nodded.

He slowly closed his eyes whilst a small smile creeps up on his lips and he asked me again

“Do you still remember? The song that I’ve always sing to you when we’re still in the orphanage?”

“There’s no way that I can forget that…” my eyes still filled with unshed tears.

Even though it’s not that big, but his smile does get wider than before…

“I wanna sing it to you once more… but I’m just too tired..

Can you sing it to me instead?”

“of course, dear…” I answered him.

Then I started to sing it….

“When the wind is cold, wear warmer clothes

Even if I’m not there, don’t skip a meal

Always smile brightly, like that shining star

You shine inside of me”

Every word that I sung felt like it was his last words for me…

Like he was telling me to do it when he’s not here anymore…

“On nights when the stars are falling down

I think of you”

I’ll always think of him,

Just burn me alive if I don’t…

“Even though deep yearning

Shines painfully and painfully”

I know that I’ll bound to hurt soon..

But, there’s no regret…

There’s no regret of loving him.

“Under the starlight embroidered in white

Our happy memories

They fade far away,

Like a star you’re my angel”

He’ll always stay in my memories…

That’s for sure.

“The song we listened together

They fade away

And though I can’t hear your dreamy voice”

I know that I’ll never able to hear him sing a song for me anymore…

But I’ll always keep it in my memories, how his voice sounds like when he sung me this song.

“Smile brightly like that

To me you’re always

Always shine inside of me”

It’s just like he wanna to tell me to always smile,

And move on…

“For awhile

Or just like that for a little while

Standing, I think of you

And wonder if you’re crying alone

Still you live inside of me”

I slowly started to sobs…

Beads of tears from my eyes falls onto wookie’s face.

I looked down at him…

He had his eyes closed, and he looks just like when he was sleeping.

So peaceful…

But under the moonlights, I can see that tears also rolling down his cheek,

He’s also been crying all along when I sing this…

“Under the moonlight shining coldly

Memories smouldering in my heart

They shine and shine brightly” 

I’ll never forget our memories …

They’ll always stay in my heart…

How we spent our childhood,

How we treasures each other,

How we love each other…

“Like a star, you’re my angel”

I meant it,

He is my angel…

“Like a star

You’re my star…”

As I sung this last part,

I can feel it…

His hands that were clutching on my shirt slowly loosen and slide down…

Then they falls freely on his own lap..

He goes limp in my embrace…

At that moment I know that he’s gone…

He’s finally really left me this time…

I buried my face in the curve of his neck and hug him tighter than before…

I tried to muffle up my excessive sobs that it makes my shoulders shaking hard…

With him still in my tight embrace,

I started to wailed and cried harder…

I rocked him back and forth like a mother would do to their baby…

I’m not prepared yet…

I still can’t figure out how I can live my life without him

This is just too much…

Why did he have to leave me like this?..

After what seemed like hours,

I eventually pull up my face and take a look at him again…

Except for his lips colours that have turns blue,

He really looks like he’s still peacefully sleeping…

Keep sleeping then my love, Just rest in peace…

You must’ve been so tired…

There’s a lot you’ve gone through these past few months..

I slowly lowered my head and kissed him all over his face whilst trying to hold in my choking sobs…

Starting from his forehead, his both eyelids, the tip of his nose, cheeks and ended at his lips.

I’ve promised that I’ll be happy without you…

But just like you’ve said to me before, my love…

Promises are meant to be broken…

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.

.

.

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Little did Kyuhyun knows when he was giving his lifeless lover the last kiss, there’s a big star that comes out of nowhere on the sky and it shines the most than the others just above his head…

-The End-