*FLASHBACK* 

he standing behind a tree, his light brown hair blown by a wind, his shiny eyes and pale skin. "come one guys! let's hurry! Hey don't push me!" , we laughing as we walk along the forest all the way to the river to go fishing. But, I think there someone have been staring at us from up there behind the tree. I asked my friends, "who's that", "that's Yoon Jeonghan. He's the son of the president where our parents used to work. didn't you know about, Jisoo?". I just don't have any idea who's that pale look kid. "he's always looking at us from that spot. should we invited him to join us?" I asked their permission but they told me not to because the rumor from parents said that he have a really weak body and he easily get a fever. But I will never give up because he always looking at us and it make me feel bad. I walk slowly and yell from down there "come over! say, if you wanted to play together with us, then you have to say it properly!" he looked down, he look really adorable. "but I was told not to running around like others". He is just too weak. "hey, if you have a weak body, then train it to be strong. remember? you are a boy. B-O-Y. oii! Seungcheol-ah, is it fine if he join us?", I asked again for Seungcheol permission, Seungcheol nodded happily. "Alright! then let's go!". I hold Jeonghan hand as we run together.

Jeonghan hand is cold, and pale and small. 

After a long way run, finally I arrived at Jeonghan place. Heavily walking to the main gate. As my leg shaking and start getting weak, I have to be strong to see Jeonghan. "I am Hong Jisoo", I told the security guard, "let me through. I seek appointment with Mr.Jeonghan". They didn't let me through and hold me up, "you can't enter Mr.Jisoo. we've received order to not let anyone through!", This is bad. I have to see Jeonghan immediately, "Jeonghan, Jeonghan!". I scream out his name and I push the guard with all the energy I have. I ran passed through the gate, Jeonghan standing infront the door looking at me, I'm exhausted. "Jisoo, you look terrible. Are you sure you should be waving around?" , cruel, too cruel. he asked me like nothing going to happened soon. I yell at him but, "shh, don't yell. it already midnight". calmly he walk into his room with me following him behind. "How's your leg Jisoo?", "it's nothing serious" I replied. my leg injuured because I ran all the way from company to Jeonghan big mansion that far away from there without thinking to take a taxi. "How's Seungcheol?", he asked me again "he's not in the state to speak", I hold my tear so I won't look low infront of Jeonghan. "I see, that worrying". This conversation is blank. I have to spit out the words I have to say, "I heard that you're going to take full responsibility", he nodded and smile, "I'll leave the rest to you, Jisoo". His calm words make me really out of mind. How dare you didn't consider other feeling. "to me?!". he continue his words calm, "if things gone well, I wanted the three of us to go flower-viewing again" he chuckle and continue again "seems like this world doesn't move according to our wishes, I'm really worried about Seungcheol, so please stya by his side for me too. I'll be counting on you. In your case, I'm sure you'll stay alive tenaciously and persistently, so I'm not worried at all. Hehee. ohh, hey Jisoo. why are you making such a scary expression? you already look like a bad person" he giggle and mock me. "you know, aren't you always snatching the best part at the end? one day, in history it'll be written 'the company was saved by Yoon Jeonghan suicide' or something like that. you've turn things around really well" I don't even know what the hell am I saying to Jeonghan. "Hong Jisoo! that's rude!"

No . . . No . . . I didn't want to say such things. But now that I'm here. What I wanted to tell you, is just one thing. what I want to tell you . . . . . . . 

"Hong Jisoo, if you're here to make fun of me, then just go back!" , Jeongan yell at me. I grab his shirt and push him down to the floor. He pissed me off. I pinned him down and slowly pressing my lips to his lips. He push me back slowly and a little, "you don't understand anything do you, Jeonghan? For the one who's dies, everything ends when he's dead. He's gone and it's over. That's all. The one who will get troubled are the one who are left behind. we have to clean things up after you leave and everything settle down. Even physical things settled, there are still terrible thing like memories which still remain. That is hurting! don't ever talk like nothing happen while you smile. If you're going to die anyway, take my memories with you before you die!" I confess my tears falling down slowly through my cheeks. His face, the face that I always treasure. "In that case, I''ll cause more troubles for you! you've been making fun of me as long as I can remember. although you're always listened to what Seungcheol said, you never did that for me. someone like you . . ." as he tried to hold his words, "I'm sure you want to say that you hate me!" I cut his words. This is not supposed to happened when this is the last chance for me to see him. I have to make a move, I hold his face, "Jeonghan-ah, both of us should just stop talking", I hugged him warmly, this is the first time and the last moment of me hugging him. All the way at night, we make love. "Yoon Jeonghan, I love you".

When dawn breaks, the everyday lives we've had until now will dissapear. That's why, this everyday life we've taken for granted, I want to burn it into my mind. Burn it into an indelible scar. Will never be erased forever til we met again and maybe reborn again. Even when dawn comes, I'll just continue breathing like usual. I won;t cry 'sound of teardrops' . why is there a need to cry . . . ?