Chapter I

Seohyun had this uneasy feeling when she woke up this morning, although she didn’t know why. At first, she tried to shake it off, thinking it was nothing, but still, it was there. She just had the feeling that something was going to happen. Whether good or bad, she didn't know. Seohyun kept on waiting for something to happen but it the day is almost over and still nothing. It was still there.

     Until she got a text.

     It was Yonghwa, asking her to meet him up tonight. Although they always meet up, Seohyun knew that this time, it was different. Even the tone of his text was different. Her boyfriend was a sweet person. Even in a simple text message, always tried to be sweet. But this time, it was just plain and simple. She kept telling herself not to over think it but that uneasy feeling she had was still there. Seohyun was certain that this was the reason of that uneasy feeling.

     Over an hour had passed since Seohyun got his text. She texted him that she was fifteen minutes away and he replied that he was already there. Truth was, she already arrived. She got there as soon as she got his message. She was sitting inside her car, afraid to get and face what might happen. She was afraid. Afraid to what she felt might happen will happen. Because as much as Seohyun wanted to deny it, she was almost certain her feeling was right.

     Shaking her head to shake away her thoughts, she put on her coat and her cap. It was really late at night, almost past midnight. Not many people come out at Han River that time of night, but there are still people who take late night walks. No one can never be sure. As an idol from a popular girl group, she always had to be careful when she goes somewhere. Yonghwa, a vocalist of the boy band CNBlue, was the same. Being seen in Han River, where people knew a lot of idols like them go on a date, late at night will be a big news. A lot of people would find it suspicious. A little bit over the top, but that’s the world they live in. Full of suspicions, exaggeration and a full of judgements. It would be a bigger news if two of them were sighted at the same place, something that right now, they can’t allow to happen. They have their careers to think about.

    Hoping that what her feelings were wrong, she finally got out of her car and walked to see Yonghwa. She tried to walk slowly, to somehow delay what was going to happen. Seohyun saw that his car was already parked on his usual spot when they take a stroll in Han River. His car was tinted so Seohyun couldn’t him from the outside. Taking a deep breath, she opened the passenger door and got inside the car.

     “Hey,” she quietly said.

      He looked at her, “Hey,” he said, just as quietly.

    She waited for him to say something. She waited for the jokes and the pick-up lines he always told her when they meet. Nothing. Yonghwa just took off the cap he was wearing and looked down at his lap.

    It was then the she was sure. The uneasiness she felt ever since this morning was because of this. Seohyun knew it. He was breaking up with her. After a year of being officially, together, Yonghwa was ending their relationship.

     No one spoke between the two of them. They both just sat there. The times they went there, she always loved how peaceful and how quiet the place was. Being celebrities and always around people, it was the best place for them. A place both of them needed to be sane. But at that moment, Seohyun wished for a little noise. Something to break the silence. She had no idea how they stayed like that. A few minutes. Half an hour. Maybe it was even hours. She wasn’t sure. All Seohyun knew was that it felt like a lifetime.

     It was like they both knew what was going to happen so no one said a word. Probably savoring the moment. Their last moment together. Or waiting who will say the words out loud. Finally, gathering her strength, she bravely spoke, breaking the silence between them.

     She had to do. They were breaking up. Why delay it any further, right? It might lessen the pain. Who knew what will it do for them. All she knew was someone had to do it. If he was not brave enough to do it, she will do it for him. For both of them. 

     “Arrayeo.” Her voice sounded so quiet, she almost didn’t herself.

     She felt him finally look at her. “Hyun," he said, almost whispering.

    Soehyun always loved when he called him that. It was a nickname he chose to call her when they first met. It always made her special. No one ever made a nickname for her. But right now, it was one of the things she was about to lose.

     Although she really wanted to look at him, she just kept her head down, her hands on her lap. “I already know.”

     Yonghwa didn’t say anything for a moment. Seemingly surprised with what she said. “I’m so sorry,” he finally said, his voice broken.

      She finally turned and looked and him. Pain was written all over his face. 

     She should feel at least something about that, right? At least he's in pain. At least she won't be the one who will be hurt over the break-up. But does it really matter? That he was hurt? Seeing him hurt, hurt her too. It wouldn't lessen the pain or make it go away. It wouldn't make everything easier. In fact, it only made it harder. How can two people love each other yet be apart?

      “I love you. I do. I love you so much. It’s just... I didn't know it was going to be this hard” Whatever he wanted to say, it seemed that he couldn’t say it. Or he just couldn’t find the right words to say. Even she couldn’t find anything else to say.

     But was there really a right word to say when you’re about break someone’s heart? Maybe even yours? Were there right words to say to someone who was about to break your heart? Do you say it’s okay and you understand because you knew his heart will also be broken? What do you do? Do you have to find the right words? Do you comfort each other and be part ways?

     “Hyun.” It seemed like he was waiting for her to say something.

     She closed her eyes to stop the tears from coming out. “I know,” was all she could say.

     Because what else was there to say or do? She didn’t know. Seohyun didn’t have any past experience to know. This was her first. Her first break-up. Her first heart break.

    Does she ask or demand for an explanation? Ask for a chance to work things out? It doesn’t matter anyway. At the end, they were still breaking up. She will still have a broken heart. She knew she doesn’t stand a chance. Seohyun could feel the finality in his voice. Knowing Yonghwa, he wouldn’t be breaking up with her if he didn't put much thought into it.

     But God, they were just so happy the last time they met. They met up in one of their favorite place, Namsan Tower, and watched the city lights. Yonghwa sang to her a sample of one of the songs he was composing. Seohyun told him about how the preparations of their tour was going. After talking almost everything under the sun, they just quiet