I believed in you when you gave awkward excuses, saying you’re busy
I saw you but I didn’t know
Maybe I knew on the inside
I just didn’t wanna believe that you changed

It seems like over to us
Meaningless scars are left behind in our frequent fights
It seems like it’s too late to turn things around
Now I know, maybe I always knew
Our break up is like a predicted ending
It’s right there in front of us 

Whatever you want
Whatever you saying.
We know is over.

You didn’t know where you two took the wrong turn and where exactly everything began to fall apart. People say you fall out of love as quickly as you fall in love. You had experienced that several times already, however, this time you truly believed it would be different. He made you feel so sure about it. You had put down all of your guards for him without hesitation because you thought he wouldn’t hurt you. You were so sure about it; yet after a couple of months all that was left were broken hearts and meaningless scars.

The excitement that consumed you whenever you saw him, the exhilarating emotions that filled your entire body, slowly and gradually faded away, until the only thing you felt was revulsion and resentment.

How could everything turned into a speck of dust in a blink of an eye? What started off so innocent turned into a wicked nightmare. The chemistry was there, it was passionate and it was spontaneous. Guileless flirtation, pounding hearts, fluttering stomachs, soft whispers of undying love, and the compelling desire to be with each other at all times. You could lean on him and he listened to your story. He saw behind the pretty face- he saw your soul. 

Talking to him was like a getaway conversation underneath the night sky in the midst of your crazy hectic life. Words of the past, the present, and the future were exchanged and it all just felt so right. Nothing else mattered as long as you could be with him. 

It was easy to get carried away in that atmosphere, but it felt too good to be real. It was like taking drugs. It was addictive and somewhat delusional and you both knew, though you tried to deceive yourselves, that this wouldn’t last all too long. Because like every drug, the high only lasted for a short while and was followed by a crash into cruel and hopeless reality, which was utterly exhausting. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

All of a sudden he wasn’t enough anymore. You weren’t enough anymore. Reality at a brutal force and the little dreamy bubble burst in an instant. You caught yourself longing for something new because he didn’t fill you up the same way anymore. You knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. You started to doubt your feelings for him and you wondered: “What changed?”.

You felt lost in this relationship. The lifeless conversations, the distant stares and valueless words, they all pointed to an ending. An ending you weren’t ready to face. Even when you told him you loved him out of habit, your mind was elsewhere. He knew it. You knew it. 

Yet you weren’t ready to witness the results as things were pacing too excessively fast. 

~*~

As Crush didn’t receive a reaction from you when he made a funny joke about Dean, he sensed immediately that something wasn’t right, again.
Despite the countless attempts to fix the relationship, you both had failed miserably.

“Come on, don’t be so hard on him.