I placed the white lillies on the stone in front of me with great care. The warmth sensation from holding Jungkook’s hand disappeared as I took a step forward, my arms hugging my small figure as I stared down. I promised myself no to get too lost in the memories but I never kept that promise to myself when I visited her. The routine was the same. It was always the loving and happy moments I first recalled which later shifted into the opposite. A vague smile found its way to my lips. 

Although she was in her darkest period of her remaining life, knowing nothing or no one could save her, she was still lively and happy as ever. Although her entire surroundings were miserable on her behalf, not once did she seem sad. It was a remarkable characteristic and I really hoped I could live up to a little bit of that.

A slight nudge on my shoulder caught me off guard.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook came closer as I heard his deep breath in what felt like inches behind me.

In that moment I couldn’t really say anything as I was still heavily engulfed in my own world. 

I nodded slowly. His presence made me feel surprisingly safe and before I knew it I started to open up which was never my plan to begin with. Heck, I barely knew the guy but somehow it all felt so natural.

It was liberating.

“It all happened so fast.” Jungkook said nothing, awaiting the story to come and I took that as an invitation and continued.

“It started with fatigue. We all thought it had something to do with work but as it gradually got worse it unfortunately unveiled to be something far worse.” I took a deep breath, my arms tightening around me as a shield protecting me from my own feelings.

“And from then it just kind of escalated. She was always smiling. Showing her strength in times she was at her weakest.” Gradually I felt my voice become more rough and my throat was itching. The first sign of crying. 

“Everything was so unfair.” The small tears were sliding down my cheeks. The guilt filled every inch of my body.

A pair of hands turned me around and then my face was buried into the warm chest that I didn’t know I needed. The shield was slowly tumbling down and I let it. 

I had no idea how long I stood in his embrace. Neither did I care. He caressed the back of my head with his palm. The were so light almost as If he was afraid of breaking me.

As the cries slowly subdued I withdrew myself from his hold. I avoided his glance in a mixture of confusion and embarrassment. 

Usually I never showed this side of me and right there I felt so weak. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Frantically I tried to remove the last wet drops, hoping my vulnerability would disappear. 

“Don’t apologise. It just shows your strong love for her and from what you have told me I’m sure she shared the exact same feelings.”

I looked around and to my surprise I saw how the sun slowly vanished.
How long had we even been here? It hit me that time had been non-existing in his presence.

But the many hours crawled up upon me as I felt my stomach growl internally and a certain scenario kept taunting my mind.

Should I ask him? Wouldn’t it be too awkward? You barely know him.

It may have been obvious what I should do but I did the total  opposite. My head told me one thing but the rest of my body had another opinion. 

“It’s getting late. I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Do you want to go grab something to eat? I could really fancy some chinese.” After I said those words I wanted to smack myself in the head. Did I really just ask him out? No of course not. It was just food between two acquaintances who had helped each other out emotionally. Nothing more. 

The more I repeated that rambling inside my head the more dumb it sounded. 

I peered up at Jungkook whose face was plastered with a slight grin as a cheeky comment was on its way.

“Are you asking me out?” He furrowed his brows in amusement, the grin still evident. 

I was absolutely shook. I didn’t know he would be that blunt. That was a new side to him and I didn’t know what to do with that realization. 

“Uhm. I - I just thought that you might be hungry that’s all.” I excused myself, trying to deny anything that could be romantically related. At least that was what I tried. 

“I’m just kidding.” He laughed. 

“But I’ll only accept if you let me pay.”

Of course he wanted to pay. He was a gentleman to the bone.

I shook my head from side to side as I smiled big.

“You do know that we live in the 21st century and that women can pay, right?” I teased and nudged his shoulder as we headed back to his truck. 

He gave me a little push back. 

“Of course but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let them. Especially not if they are as stubborn as yourself.” His hands were buried in the pockets of his coat as he strolled casually beside me. 

I observed his features and he definitely looked way too comfortable for my liking. 

I just shook my head and laughed. I lost this battle. Touché.

“So I guess you don’t want me to open the car door for you, miss independent?” 

I scoffed teasingly. “I’m absolutely capable of opening the door by myself thank you.”

My fingers found the door handle as I tried to open the door. It was locked. 

That little . 

“I can see that.” He kept teasing me with his words and his looks and I had honestly no idea how to cope with all of this. 

“You are quite something aren’t you?” I said bluntly, observing his motions as he went to the other side of the car. 

He didn’t answer me but I knew he was smiling.

~~
 

“Why does it take ages for women to figure out what they want to eat?” Jungkook complained and waited impatiently as I carefully looked through the menu. There were surprisingly not that many people inside the restaurant that I thought there would be.

“I just want to be hundred percent sure before I order anything - there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

A few m