You pulled something warm closer to you. Her scent was soft, but fleeting, just enough for you to enjoy and linger for not a moment longer.

You buried your nose in her hair, inhaling the sweetness that was her. Her arms started to snake around you, her fingers teasingly tickling you as she did so. Your hands found hers and intertwined with hers, gently pinning her down as you hovered above her. Your eyes fluttered open as she looked back into your eyes.

She smiled, her eyes lighting up sleepily, and your face dipped down to steal her lips. She kissed you back, trying to free her hands to cup your face. You wouldn't let her, instead, you gently pressed your forehead to hers, and pulling back, whispered, "I love you."

You sat upright, gasping. 

The room spun, hazy and you had to steady yourself because you were seeing stars for a moment. Your head pounded aggresively as you rubbed the side of your temples. 

You glanced at the clock. 9:14 am.

She wouldn't be up yet, it was still too early. There was no one next to you besides you, it was just your tormenting imagination.

Please don't show.... you mentally begged. You bit your bottom lip, but the tear still slid down your cheek without restraint. You sighed loudly, face in hands.

A clattering sound came from the kitchen. Your head whipped around instantaneously.

She saw.

You sleepily tiptoed downstairs, the sunshine was pouring through the kitchen window and waking you up even though you didn't actually plan to be up just yet. You got to the sink and picked up a glass and poured yourself some water from the pitcher. You were placing the glass back when you heard a gasp behind you and it sent a chill up your spine, until you turned your head to see Dean's figure sitting up on the sofa bed, looking distressed. You weren't going to interrupt him but then you saw him bite down on his bottom lip.

Wait...is that a tear?

You turned so quickly that your motion sent the plate that was on the counter clattering on the floor and he whipped his head to look at you, stunned. 

 You were speechless, and a familiar pit in your stomach sent it dropping. You ran over to him, but he stood up as if he was going to shift away from you and turned his back to you.

"Please don't." Was all he said quietly.

You tried to turn him by the shoulder but he wouldn't budge, so you walked in front of him, just to see him turn away again. 

You grabbed him from behind, backhugging him, burying your face into the contour between his shoulders and slipped your arms around him, refusing to let go. He tried to pry your fingers off, and you didn't budge, slightly digging into him.

"It's hurting, Byul." He said gently.

"I don't care. You're hurting and you wouldn't tell me." You inhaled deeply, feeling the tears rush and spill onto the back of his shirt. "I'm not letting go until you tell me what's wrong."

He sighed, and his fingers intertwined with yours to loosen them off before he turned to look at you. You couldn't help the tears that spilled angrily from you. "Why do you always hide it when you're hurt? You do so much for me and yet I do nothing for you. I'm turning into the worst friend-"

He cut your words off with a sudden embrace. You held onto him, wanting to push him away but you couldn't. He finally pulled back and looked sadly into your eyes.

"I just had a bit of a nightmare, that's all."

"Was it her again?" 

"Yeah...something like that..." he mumbled, his eyes shifting away.

You reached up and cupped his face. "Look, I'm tired of being a crappy friend. You made my weekends so special and this is the first time I feel like I somehow lost you and that's not okay. This was our time, and I didn't even spend it with you. Just because I'm in a relationship does not make our time any less special now, so please tell me. I felt like I was missing you..." your voice faded, holding back tears.

His hand reached up and held the one that was on his face. "I'm sorry Byul....your happiness was so important for me that my own tragedy would have done nothing but diffuse it. I didn't want my bad memories to tread on the beautiful new ones you're making."

Even his small explanations were like lyrics. They never failed to make you try and decipher what hidden meaning lay among them. 

"Promise me you will tell me then, okay?" You stuck your pinky finger out.

He pinky promised you back. "I will." Pulling you back into a soft embrace, he gently pinched your cheek. "Don't forget your darling upstairs there, he's gonna get cold without you."

You scrunched up your face at him. "I was planning to snooze for another hour anyways." You said, sticking your tongue out at him.

"Sleep now, princess." He said, smiling, and  gave you a little turn and push to the stairs. You headed back up, and quietly got back into bed. You were about to take back the spot that Jongup had been holding you in, but your curiosity got the better of you.

You couldn't help but admire his pretty features. The little beauty spot on his nose was your favorite and you couldn't explain why except that you just liked how cute it was on his handsome face. You leaned over and very gently kissed the little spot, trying not to wake him, but he stirred slightly. You slid back into your spot, and he readjusted slightly to face you on his side. You leaned in again and lightly pecked him, unable to resist. His eyes fluttered slightly and he smiled sleepily.

"Did you want to wake up now?" he sleepily mused.

"No...I'll sleep a little longer, but I couldn't help but admire how adorable my boyfriend looks when he's dreaming." You grinned.

He chuckled sleepily. "Are you always this cheesy? That's supposed to be my job."

You giggled. "We can talk about that later." You drifted back to sleep for a little bit.

When you finally got up, you both headed downstairs for breakfast, and Dean joined you both, more comfortable than the day before had been. The day passed far too quickly as Jongup had to leave in the afternoon before anyone noticed he had been gone, so the rest of the day was for you and Dean to enjoy. 

He was writing more than usual and you usually helped or contributed some feedback to him whenever you could, but you didn't get to do much while he sat there and mused, wrote, and hummed for a bit.

It reminded you of the night you first talked to Jongup alone.

Finally, he had you deciphering lyrics for him, and things were going well and smooth between you two, reminiscent of the days before. He didn't talk about anything from the weekend until he suddenly broke the silence.

"I was out late with Himchan last night."

You looked up, pausing from the train of thought that hit you. 

He sighed. "He...made me realize a few things."

"Dean..." Your voice trailed of its own accord. 

"He made me realize that I have nothing to worry about between you and the guys. That no matter if it was Jongup or any of the others, if you were in a relationship with one of them, you're in good hands with great people."

You weren't sure what to say. 

"Himchan....he takes care of me a lot. And he noticed that I would always notice Jongup....yet he didn't try to push his feelings on me, even though I felt nothing but unconditional love from him."

Dean looked into your eyes, still listening. 

"I felt myself being moved by him, but, at the time...I..." You hesitated to finish, unsure if you could. You gulped, closing your eyes. "I was unsure but I was falling for someone, and he's the only one I could talk to about these things...he's the one who encouraged me to open my heart, and now...that's what led me to Jongup."

You opened your eyes, feeling a tear (of guilt?) slip, unsure what to do. 

Dean studied your face and let the words sink in before he replied. 

"He made me realize how foolish I had been for a while. And while the nightmares haven't gone...he's right, I can't keep going on in denial either and I need to come to a resolution." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "While I can't say it's completely over for myself in one side, I need to walk on away from the other."

His cryptic words had you puzzled. 

Is he confessing? What is going on...

Dean stood up, stretching and went to the fridge, grabbing two soju bottles. 
"I owe you. So, shall we have ourselves an album preview party?" He grinned, holding them up. "It's time for me to kick the karaoke up a notch."

You smiled. "Anything to lift the mood."
--
After the two bottles of soju and and two hours of attempted karaoke indoors, you found yourselves in much better spirits than the whole weekend had been. 

Dean was holding a pillow, enacting a confession scene from the drama you'd been watching lately, right before a mock passionate kiss. 

"Ewww don't make out with my pillows!" You giggled and tried to snatch the pillow, stumbling after him. 

He tried to get away, failing to do so as he landed on the couch. The doorbell rang, and you ran to get it. 

"Himchan!!!" You threw your arms around him, giving him a warm squeeze, which was returned with a hug and a slightly amused expression. 

"Byul, did you already forget what happened when we let you have this much soju last time?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Arassooo...." You mumbled, taking him to the kitchen and you pulled a whole bottle from the fridge, opening it and handing it to him. "Your turn." You pouted. 

He laughed. "You two are such goofballs....I'm not here to drink though, I'm here to tell you that there's another music video we're doing this week and we need you to be a partner for...well, your man. You both already have enough chemistry for this to look natural." 

You gasped. "I...really?" 

He nodded. "We haven't picked the other girls yet for the video but he has a dance solo in this one and I came here to invite you personally before they choose someone else."

"Yes! I'll definitely do it!" You hugged him again. "Thank you for being so good to me."

He laughed cheerfully. "Anything for my little Byul." Then he cleared his throat for a moment. "By the way you should check your texts..." He whispered. "I have to head back now but I'll let them know you said yes. Don't be up too late!" 

He waved off and headed out. 

You heard a soft snore coming from the living room. Dean was sleeping and he looked like he was in bliss cradling the pillow you'd been trying to steal from him earlier. 

You walked over, readjusting him so his neck wasn't overstrained, and tucked him in. He shifted suddenly and you fell backwards into the sofa bed, trapped under his arm. The deadweight of his body was not helping you wriggle out. 

You swallowed and breathed in and out, feeling the familiar and warm tingles creep into you like they had in the past whenever you'd crash the sofa together. Except this time his whole body was partially restricting you from moving. 

You felt his arm pull you in as he mumbled something incoherent to you. 

"You can't leave, and I won't let you take her..." He mumbled into your hair, making your heart hammer. His leg came up and would have pinned you down farther but you tried to push yourself free and come out, hair a mess and frazzled. 

He mumbled again but the words were intelligible, and you grabbed the spare blanket, throwing it over him before retreating back to your bed. 

Jongup's scent was still in the pillows and made your heart ache because Dean pulling you in had made your heart skip a beat too. 

Your phone buzzed with a message. You quickly grabbed it and open it, reading.  

I missed you today, but I hope you had a lovely day. :)

Can I come over tomorrow after practice? I don't know how long I could stay, but breakfast would be nice if we can. 

Breakfast. Your heart hammered. Would you be having another sleepover? Your cheeks grew warm at the thought. 

You texted back. Sleepover round 2? :)

He texted back instantly. I was nervous that you'd already fallen asleep! Yup, come over and we'll have dinner with you and then I'll sneak off with you so we don't get caught. Goodnight baby <3

You smiled, blushing at his text. Goodnight babe <3

---
You woke up, slightly groggy, glancing at your watch. 3:38 am. 

You rubbed your face, noticing the blanket being tucked around you. "She never forgets."

You were torn between being awake for longer or rolling back to sleep. It was one of the night that you'd wished you had her hand to hold or her warmth to bring you back to sleep. The nightmares were getting worse and you couldn't keep caving to them. 

You decided to grab a pillow, and headed upstairs, bringing the spare blanket with you. Once you were there, you saw her asleep on her stomach as she usually did, one arm sticking out of her comforter, hand on the edge of the bed. You reached for her hand, cold now, and held it, placing your pillow on the side of the bed as you there, falling asleep at her bedside. 

It wasn't much, but it was more than enough, and that's all you needed for now.