Story Link

Title: [4/5]
I cannot judge titles, I really can’t. And in all honesty, I shouldn’t be because my own titles aren’t exactly things I’m proud of. But, your title doesn’t seem to exciting. Truthfully, the first thing that came to my mind was some creeper sort of a story. Hence, ‘Not Alone’. But, then again, there’s that beautiful last line that connects to the title, so, good job!

Foreword/Description: [ - /10]
I’m disappointed here, not at the Foreword or Description, but because it’s virtually non-existent. Why, why haven’t you utilized that space to provide a snippet of your beautiful story? Forewords and Descriptions are in most cases, either destroyers or sculptors to your stories. It all depends on how well you write it out. But, in your case, I notice that you chose to completely omit the Foreword and Description and I ask you, why?
Forewords/Descriptions are supposed to give a small insight into your story and well, I’m sure you know that. So, it’s just strange that you’ve let gone of that. Forewords are also the temptation to readers to click on the Next button or simply to read more. It sort of braces the reader for what’s behind there. Every novel has a slight synopsis covering the back page and the Foreword does just that. It gives the reader an idea of what to expect as they plunge into your story. More often than not, it attracts your readers and by leaving it blank, you’ve lost a chunk of your readers. Granted that your story is a oneshot and that revealing too much of the plot would act as a major spoiler, leaving it blank wouldn’t really form the correct alternative either.
I’d wish you’d fill it up and let your story be showcased in a cloak of enigma at first before letting the readers lap up the goodness of your oneshot.

Plot/Originality: [18/20]
Your story creates an impression of having a profound, in-depth, deeply woven gamut of emotions and feelings behind its writing, although to what extent that particular feeling lingers in the reader is a debatable point.
You’ve touched on a number of grave, usually avoided matters through your story with is laudable. Your references to solemn issues like divorces, miscarriages, unhappy marriages, all reflect your genius as a writer. Your references are not overtly blatant, neither for that matter, are they so oblique that the reader loses focus. Your subtlety is astounding and each sentence that you’ve written connects to the story in a way that is beautiful. More than anything else, I notice the exclusion of unnecessary sentences which is an amazing trait you posses. Every sentence of yours has a meaning, a relevance to the story thus making it virtually impossible for the reader to omit even the slightest word. Beyond it all, the plot hasn’t much to stand on which is basically the case for every plot out there. I’ve never stressed on, or understood for that matter, the significance of plots because simply, it all follows a fixed pattern – which in your case is the unhappy-marriage-find-solace-in-someone-else. It’s your writing, your inclusions of various, astounding matters and the magic you weave with your story that attracts me to it. I could be blinded by adoration and shout to the skies that your plot is amazing and that I’ve never read something like this before. But, I won’t because, that isn’t the case. Your plot has been written before, but you’ve sculpted it out in a way that makes it your own.
I wouldn’t exactly give you the applause on the originality aspect, because to me, it seems to be lifted off a soap opera. Even so, I think your details; Claire’s frustrations, her unwillingness to let go of a life she never should have embraced; all showcase your immense potential as a writer.
But, I cannot discount the many cliché references in your story. Taemin’s character especially seems to be one of the most redundant kinds. His chasing after her and embracing her even after she refuses to see any more of him, makes it a little unrealistic. Kyuhyun’s character has far too much of cruelty in him, and although it’s necessary to have a villain in every story, his character seems far too nonchalant, contrasting, possessive and pleasure-craving. Although, it’s very possible that a real life replica of him might exist somewhere on this earth, his vices need a justification. It would have been nice if you could have given an insight into why his behavior changed, or why his personality doesn’t care for others. But, then again, it brings us to the point that this is a oneshot and adding it all would lengthen it to the extent that it would bypass a oneshot by a hundred chapters. I shall be coming to that point in the ‘flow’ category.

Details/Characterization: [19/25]
You characterized your story with immense care and it’s visible through your words. The first paragraph was stunning, in more ways than one. Your genius that propelled you to begin the story with the allusion to sunlight or basically a brighter notion clearly reflects your OC’s state of mind. The descriptions and details have this poignancy in them which makes it feel as though it’s been written from Claire’s perspective. Your intricacies marvel me; the way you describe her emotions and feelings and allude every action of hers to some moment during her married life. But, even then, saying that, I’d like to point out that some of your sentences seem awkward. There’s a sort of forced air about many of your sentences which give out the impression that you had been trying hard to evoke a professional, awesome kind of atmosphere to accompany your writing.
Please, don’t get me wrong. This is just my opinion that at times there’s a compulsion in your writing. Your descriptions-- though beautifully worded-- seem out of place. And your writing, instead of evoking awe, turns almost funny.
Also, I haven’t exactly been able to grasp Kyuhyun’s character properly. The only quality I can relate to him, after reading your story is ‘evilness’. And well, Kyuhyun is synonymous to evil, so it seems as though by choosing his character for the story, you’ve managed to evade the tedious task of actually assigning a personality to your characters. But, to a certain extent, I shall let that go. Coming to Claire’s character- she’s your OC. You’ve created her and we, the readers know basically nothing about her. And it seems as though, even after the progression of the oneshot, that fact remains the same. Claire is more of a mystery to me. She seems naïve, to the extent that she can’t let go of certain practices that she used to do prior to her unhappy stage. Also, she seems to have hatred towards Kyuhyun although she can’t escape the sorrow that engulfs her after his departure. In the end, she stands up for herself which is laudable, but even then, it all seems to contrast the personality you’ve created for her from the start.
As for Taemin, his inclusion in the story seems almost unnecessary. I’m not talking about his character, I mean, him. The young man who comforts her could have been anyone. Perhaps, you could have made him a more prominent part of the story. Maybe a little more knowledge about their encounter, their love, his personality would have made all the difference. It’s just the characterization you need to work on.

Grammar/Flow/Vocabulary: [23/30]
Grammar and Vocabulary, I have next to no problems with. I’ve spoken at length about your vocabulary in the earlier categories, so you might want to work on that. Grammar is pretty good. I won’t go nitpicking for errors, because I think you have an amazing grasp on the English language to do that yourself. The only errors I did spot were a few typos here and there. You might want to re-read the story and correct them.
Flow, I have major, major issues with your flow. As a whole, the entire story seems far too rushed. In all honesty, I was in love with the story when I began reading it, but as soon as I went further, the glaring lapses in your flow management scared me. Your story’s transition from one phase to another was far from smooth. At times, I had to go back and re-read the earlier sentences to figure out if I had missed something because of the hurried changes in the situation. Maybe it was your first paragraph that caused this. Your first paragraph gives us an impression that the following story would be a slow, angst-filled, sorrowful one. But a few paragraphs down the line, and the story picks up a pace so quick that it contrasts the first paragraph far too much.
Now, I do understand that your story is a oneshot and wasting too much time on each situation would result it in being unimaginably long. So, here’s what I say: Let it be long! I wonder if you had this plot in mind and said to yourself that it just has to be a oneshot! Truthfully, in my opinion, making it a two-shot or even a small chaptered fic, would have worked wonders. You had a wonderful plot and if you had expanded on it, made the flow smooth, focused well on each situation; it would have become a masterpiece. The only issue I have with your story is the flow. That’s it.

Overall Enjoyment: [8/10]
The flow didn’t go well with me, but rating it as leniently as I always do, take an eight.

General comments: -
Your story aspired to be beautiful. I’m not sure if you get my meaning here. Your writing style and your choice of words is amazing; there’s no doubting that. But, as far as the strength of your story goes, I must say, it didn’t awe me. I’ll be fair; my first impression, especially a few sentences into the story was that of silent worship. I was willing to regard you as the supreme God of writing Himself. But, a few paragraphs down the line, and the feeling kind of wore off. Don’t get me wrong. Your approach to writing as well as your vocabulary is by far among the crème de la crème of the multitudes of AFF writers. That said, there’s a certain awe element that’s missing in your story. In all honesty, I’m unable to figure out what exactly is missing. At times, your story seems professional to the extent that I suffer from increasing inferiority complexes; but at times, there’s an incoherency in your story that stalls it smooth flow.
Your story creates an impression of having a profound, in-depth, deeply woven gamut of emotions and feelings behind its writing although to what extent that particular feeling lingers in the reader is a debatable point. Maybe it’s just your flow that hindering the story, whatever it is, I hope my review was to some extent helpful in improving your writing. Thank you for requesting! <3

Total: [80/100] 
Today’s one of the days I’m being nice and since you don’t have a foreword, I’m not going to include it and I’m judging only on 90.

Your total is 72/90 which is…80/100 or 80%