Story Link

Title: [4/5]
It’s a beautiful title, it really is. But, I don’t think it’ll get you the attention your story deserves. The title is utterly romantic and it relates to the story is such a sweet manner that I want to give you straight on points for this one. But, then again, on a site like AFF, a romantic title isn’t going to exactly give you the recognition you deserve. You need a different title, something that will catch the reader’s eye and make them want to read you story. The title is beautiful and perhaps, for a novel, it would be justifiably apt, but for a fanfic, you need something that can get you the attention. ‘On Rainy Days’ isn’t a title most readers would click on, simply because it seems a trifle drab. But, then again, if you’re one of those dedicated writers who care not about sub numbers and comments, then you’ll probably go on with this title, simply because it’s lovely.
The title sounds incredibly in-depth, that I don’t even know if there’s as much emotion in the story as I conjure up when I look at the title. If you want more attention, change the title; if you want pure admiration, keep it the way it is. I still can’t help fawning over it.

Foreword/Description: [8/10]
The foreword and description are, in a single word, crude. First off, the colour changes scream of your unprofessionalism and the highlight is just sad. Do not, and I repeat, do not highlight something you wish to draw attention to. It just spoils the beauty of the entire layout of your story. Also, you’ve interchanged the positions of the foreword and the description. Your note – the author’s note should be in the foreword which is basically a place for the authors to ramble a little with regards to the story. The Description is where the sneak peeks and the teasers of your fic should be placed. But, I’m not going to dock points for that; it’s a common mistake which even I, formerly, used to make. 
Apart from that, I think your foreword/description is very creative; especially the listing part that you’ve made below. It’s a good attention grabbing tool, also you’ve managed to convey exactly what you want in a few, short sentences thus making sure the reader doesn’t scoot off even before the ‘Next’ button’s pressed.

Plot/Originality: [15/20]
Let’s see; there isn’t really much of a deeply woven plot. But, since it’s a oneshot, I think that’s a plus point here. It’s a simple sort of reminiscence that never fails to bring a smile to the readers lips. The entire story is sweet; nothing less. It’s a recollection of remembrances. It’s not too uncommon on AFF to find a story that goes back into the past. But, what I liked about your story was that you associated each recollection to a verse, and the entire scenario as a whole with the beautiful rain. It gives a certain depth to your otherwise plain and normal fanfic. Then again, your plot, as I said before, is sweet. There’s nothing about the plot that’s extraordinary and would etch itself into my memory. It’s a story that I’d probably read and forget, but enjoy nonetheless. So, your story doesn’t stand out but it does have a certain lingering lovable aspect to it.

Details/Characterization: [10/25]
It’s not explicitly detailed, especially the character descriptions, which are my love. I always maintain, that if I’m unable to picture the characters of a story in my head, it’s not described at all. That’s exactly what I’m unable to do here. You might want to work on that, perhaps? Also, your characters are highly unrealistic. There’s almost an overdose of the cutesyness going on. But, since it’s a fanfic, I might just let it go. One very repetitive thing I’ve noticed is that there are always swings, cute antics and ice-cream in reminiscence fanfics. Is that some sort of civil code? Anyway, you might want to make your characters a little more easy to relate to.

Grammar/Flow/Vocabulary: [20/30]
Flow: Alright. Since, it’s in recollections form, you don’t need to worry about the flow, because it’s basically a concoction of a number of memories and there’s no bother about the transition from one phase to another. So, you’ve got off this one.
Vocabulary: A little mediocre. A little more variety would be refreshing and nice. Your vocabulary is limited and you’ve restricted your writing to a great extent simply because you’re not willing to explore the other beautiful words in the English language. Work on improving your vocabulary because it will accentuate your writing style to a great extent.
Grammar: It’s pretty okay actually. I think you have a pretty good grasp over the English language so I shall not waste too much time here. Good going, though!
Only, I wish you wouldn’t use ~~ in your story. It completely destroys the professionalism of your story. And there are a few typos here and there. Perhaps you could edit it or just proofread it.

Overall Enjoyment: [7/10]
As I keep saying, it’s a very sweet. It’s virtually impossible to dislike a story like this. So, good job! Also, your writing style is refreshing so it made me enjoy the story all the more.

General comments: -
You’ve got the potential and the patience, I suppose. So, if you work on your vocabulary and the hard hitting aspects of a story, you might just have a masterpiece in your hand. Perhaps, you could begin thinking out of the ordinary, because clearly, your writing style tells me you’re capable of much more than plain ole fluff. Alright? Surprise me! <3
And because I was deprived of and you feed my soul, take a bonus of 5! 

Total: [69/100] 
That’s a good score from me! I’m not kidding. I’m one of your crank, not-too-easily-impressed reviewers. So kudos to you! <3