“Minghao you should come too,” Seokmin said, smiling brightly at him. Minghao was about to say yes, but hesitated.

“Jun is home that night,” he said, sadly. Seokmin had been telling him about a faire he was going to with Mingyu. It sounded fun, like something Minghao and Jun would have gone to together. Before Jun stopped talking to him, and refused every attempt at communication Minghao tried.

Minghao missed Junhui. They lived together, but he hardly ever saw him anymore, and any time he did, Junhui didn’t smile. Instead, he looked for a distraction, to get away from Minghao. For the first month he suggested going to the cinema, or on a walk, or anything that meant they would be together, only to be refused every time with excuses mainly revolving around Wonwoo and Soonyoung. But after a few weeks, he took the hint, and went to things with other people.

He'd still find himself turning to Junhui to make fun of a little thing, or to make sure he saw something, but Junhui wouldn’t be there. He was beginning to get used to not having Junhui around, and it scared him. Junhui had been with him every step of the way, since before they’d started school. Together.

So he had to be in his apartment whenever Junhui was in their apartment because he wouldn’t see him otherwise.

Ignoring Mingyu’s glance at him, Seokmin nodded and smiled understandingly. Seokmin had a different smile for each emotion, but anyone who didn’t know him would think they were identical. “Hey, you can always change your mind. It’s tomorrow, just text me.”

Minghao nodded and smiled, definitely not planning to text him. He checked the time and stood up. “Better go, Jun will be home.”

Mingyu laughed. “You two are almost married,” he joked. Minghao swallowed sharply.

When Minghao got home, he found Junhui laughing at something in the living room. He walked in, to find Soonyoung with him, and his heart sank. Just a little. He missed having alone time with Junhui, missed feeling special even when they were with other people. Junhui had smiles just for Minghao, every time he entered a room, cheering him up when he was sad, reassuring him when he was scared or nervous, just small ones for whenever Minghao talked, when he would sneak him the smiles like they were both in on some inside joke.

Minghao had smiles for Junhui too, the same ones, and ones Junhui didn’t see. Junhui didn’t see Minghao, when he talked about Junhui when he wasn’t there, and smiled despite himself, no matter the story he was telling. Junhui didn’t see Minghao, when Junhui was walking ahead and talking about nothing, stupid things that both of them knew weren’t important. Junhui didn’t know that in a dimmed room, with only the television’s light stopping the pitch black, Minghao watched him instead of the programme, studying his face, smiling as he did so.

They held each other together, but for some reason Junhui decided he was going to be fine on his own. And Minghao wasn’t going to be fine on his own.

Soonyoung looked up when Minghao entered, smiling at him. “Hey, Minghao.”

“Hey Soonyoung,” he said, smiling. He hadn’t really seen Soonyoung since the camping trip, Junhui had been hogging him, along with Wonwoo and Jihoon. “Hey, Jun,” he said, fighting for a smile.

Junhui did smile at him, but nothing special, just a normal Junhui smile. “Hey, Hao,” he said, the nickname sounding forced. Minghao lowered his head slightly, and turned to go into the kitchen.

Soonyoung came into the kitchen too then. “Are you going tomorrow?” he asked.

Minghao shook his head. “Seokmin asked me earlier, but I can’t make it,” he told him. Soonyoung frowned.

“I wasn’t talking about that. Me, Jihoon, Seungkwan, Wonwoo, Seungcheol and Junhui are meeting up, because Jun’s off work for the first time in three hundred years,” Soonyoung said, laughing slightly.

Minghao froze. “Junhui’s going?” he asked, trying not to give anything away.

Soonyoung hesitated. “Yeah he is, is that a problem?” he asked. Minghao quickly shook his head.

“No, just didn’t know he was going out,” he said, carefully, because if he was the only one who thought there was something wrong, maybe nothing would be wrong.

Soonyoung frowned again. This was the most serious Minghao had ever seen him. “Are you two- I mean, are you okay? Still talking?” he asked.

Minghao looked away. “We’re fine,” he said, lying through his teeth. Soonyoung nodded, and returned to the living room and Junhui.

Later he called Seokmin and told him he would go with him and Mingyu. 

yeah i know i said i probably wasn't going to continue this, but i had been writing a one shot type thing that i changed slightly to fit in with this au. this is purely a filler, i just wanted you to see minghao's perspective on this before the next chapter (that i actually guarantee this time instead of saying i probably won't write it like i have every time).

i'm going to try and end this happily, but i accidentally dug myself into a pile of angsty and its going to take like a thousand more words to dig myself out and then probably more to finish it off, so i swear i'm trying.

this is cross posted on ao3 but it's a slightly different version (just with wording, the plot is still the same)