Time flies when you don't have any of it to process what was happening around you. Gyeong never brought up the 'episode' I had when Reality had come back. She did, however, lessen my load to ensure that it didn't happen again. People at the company were watching us. Always, watching us. So it didn't come as a surprise that people were noticing how harshly she pushed me. But nontheless, they were expecting spectacular results, that they deemed, only she could foster.

Reality was hovering over me once again. His stone cold eyes increased the weight upon my already fatigued shoulders. Occasionally, the load would feel lighter when I was lost. Lost in songs, lost in dance, lost in all the great aspects of my new life. Gyeong had started allowing me to socialize with other trainees and artists in SM, many of which were warm and inviting. They understood the hardships we all had to go through to achieve our dreams, and that connected us more than words could express.

But other times, Reality grasped my shoulders with more force than he normally did. He enjoyed the presence of large crowds, spotlights, judgemental stares, and the known. He especially loved the unknown. They could manifest into anything: scorn, disgust, disapproval, and the most satisfying 'you're not good enough'. Emotions controlled his world.

 As of late, there wasn't too much pressure. Half a year had flown by as people in the company were less intrigued by my presence, and as each day passed, they would notice me less and less. I was a new bag. A new toy. A new car. After awhile, people got bored of me. That is, until I reach the next milestone in my career: debut day. Others, however, were already planning ahead.

"So for your first album, would you like to write the songs yourself, or have them written for you?" Ms. Cheon asked near the end of our lesson. A lady in her late 50's, Ms. Cheon was assigned as my singing coordinator. She was 'the best' in the industry, according to Gyeong, and therefore, was the only one good enough to manage my first album.

"I'm not sure yet, but I'd hopefully like to write one or two of the songs," I said. Reality scoffed, pushing me my head forward.

"What would you even write about? There's no point in trying when you don't have the slightest idea about what you're doing," Reality spat in my ear. He was right, of course, but I still wanted to try it. No on is always sure their first time trying something, but that's part of the experience. Right?

"I-I'll think about it," I muttered, not meeting Ms. Cheon's eyes.

"Don't worry hun, you still have plenty of time to decide for yourself. That's all for today," she said cheerfully, patting my arm.

Gyeong watched me even more intensely when we met oustide the recording studio. If I wasn't mistaken, there was a hint of another emotion in her eyes today. One not linked to loathing, contempt, or disapproval.

"We need to talk," she said, leading me to our dance studio. I kept my eyes casted to the ground, as I always did, and she took her place in front of me.

"Listen, I want to clear something up," Gyeong said, "I'm...not here to make you miserable. I just want you to be successful. Do you know Rotary Daisy?"

I nodded, unsure where she was going with this. Rotary Daisy was an immensely popular girl group that had disbanded only two years after their debut. Their popularity skyrocketed and attracted many huge investors to SM despite being new to the industry.  

"I used to be their manager. Everyone loved the group, and the girls acquired a huge amount of support from both Korean as well as international fans. But they were all so lazy. They eventually hated all the attention that they'd attract, and became lethargic when it came to dance practice and song recordings. So, as you know, the girls disbanded when they were finally done with life as Kpop idols. I didn't want you to turn out the way they did. So I pushed you, and wanted to ensure that you'd never leave the way they did," Gyeong said, her voice cracking at the end.

I finally decided to look up, never in my life expecting to see what was in front of me. There, in her cold, unforgiving eyes, was that same unidentifiable emotion. Except it was now clear as day that emotion was guilt. Gyeong felt guilty for the way she treated me.

"W-will you f-forgive me, Kiara?" 

Author's note: Rotary Daisy is not a real girl group.

Sorry guys for the short updates>.< I've been having a bit of writers block and decided to start a new Jungkook fic called "Someone I used to be". Please check it out cuz my bts feels are anklsdjvbkjafiwhflkjdwsncsmdcskjd

New fic: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1118256/someone-i-used-to-be-bts-jungkook-btsjungkook