Author's note: Woot woot!! This fic is almost at 50 subscribers!!!!!!!!!! A couple years ago when I first wrote stories on aff, the most I got was 8. Since then I have been on a two year hiatus from writing stories, and recently came back with the fic you're reading right now. Going from 0 to 50 in only a couple months is insane:DDD Thank you guys so much for staying in tune for all of Kiara's updates. Seeing it motivates me to write more, which means more updates for y'all^.^

p.s. I realize that there is not enough 'romance', or even chemistry so far between Kiara and Taeyong, but hopefully this chapter will change your mind?

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His name is Anxiety. Not Reality, like his polluted thoughts have convinced me of all this time. In many ways, I should be relieved. Relieved reality could never be this harsh. Relieved that I can get back on my feet. Relieved that there is still light in this pitch-black world I have entered into. But although it's now apparent who this monster is, I was still clueless as to how to escape him. Who would lend a helping hand when we are all alone, fighting our own minds. It's all in our heads, yet we are powerless to stop them.

"So you've found another name for me?" Anxiety said, lazily reclining on the couch across my bed. At 5:00 am in the morning, he's found the perfect time to hit a couple nerves. But he can't continue to hurt me as long as I don't give him the power to do so, right? He can't even exist if my subconscience minds decides he can't.

"You're here, because I've allowed you to be here. All this time. I can't believe I didn't realize that until now," I said, finding my voice.

"Kiara," Anxiety said, all traces of laughter gone from his usual tone. His pale complexion seemed even more translucent in the light of dawn: so frail, as though he'd disappear if nothing saved him. Good Lord, I hope no one does.

"I want you gone. I command you to go away," I said, clenching my jaw. We waited in the eerie silence of morning, neither of us moving an inch. Anxiety smiled sardonically when nothing happened, baring his fang-like teeth.

"You're wrong, Kiara," Anxiety ridiculed, "I am here because you believe that everything bad can happen. Will happen. I am powerless without that doubt seizing your heart,"

He's right once again. Always right.

"But you know what? You need that doubt. You thrive on it. No matter how painful it gets, you will always return to it for comfort, for motivation. When you stop doubting, you'll believe you will always achieve what you want to. But life doesn't work that way. You will fall behind the other rookies without this doubt, and that's your worst fear. Isn't it, Kiara? You fear so much failing your parents, your superiors. You don't want to let others down, and that fear is strong enough to kill you. And it will. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day you will lie dead because you aren't good enough for others,"

Anxiety left me alone to take it all in. I didn't know which was worse: having him here to feed me more of my own anxiety, or dwelling on the thoughts that were already destroying my conscience. It was so ridiculous, all of this. Why did I have all this fear? Because you know down to your core that there's a possibility of failure. But I worked so much harder than all the other rookies. I am so much more talented, so why should I fear? Because you've failed before. Because you'll never forget the disappointment on Ms. Chae's face when you failed to be her star dancer you once were. All of it could slip right through your fingertips in an insant. Nothing is forever, Kiara.

I gasped. It was happening all over again. I'm letting those thoughts consume me all over again. This endless cycle of despair and fear and panic was overwhelming me. I am falling in a bottomless pit without a safety net. How do I escape? How do I-

"Kiara, who are you talking to?"

Taeyong stood at my door, concern creasing his smooth features. He showed no signs of hatred from our last encounter, from when I slapped him across the face in front of all the staff and performers. Nothing. Only concern. This isn't right. No one is like this without a good reason. What was his?

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You were mumbling to yourself. I could hear you from outside, so I wanted to check," Taeyong didn't ask me again if I was alright.

"Ah, was I? You don't need to worry about it," I said, getting out of bed. In panic, he turned around when he realized I was still dressed in my pajamas. If Anxiety hadn't just been destroying my mental conscience only moments earlier, I would've found the reddening of his ears adorable.

"I'm changing. So unless you want to watch..." he quickly ran out and closed the door behind him.

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That little sneak. Taeyong had been waiting outside my door.

"Hey, are you busy today?" he asked, following me even after I pushed past him.

"Yes,"

"Hey wait," Taeyong grabbed my arm and spun me around. To anyone passing by, it would've seemed like a romantic gesture. The typical 'boyfriend desperately wants his girlfriend who's playing hard-to-get'. Perhaps he was playing that card, but it made no impression on me.

"We've just finished the concert, so you can afford to take one day off," he argued.

"Maybe it's that way for you, or everyone else in the company. But not me. I have things to do," I said coldly. I continued my way to Gyeong's office, Taeyong trailing along behind.

"Are you going to Gyeong? I've already told her I'm borrowing you for the day," Taeyong said.

"You what?!"

"She agreed to it,"

I sighed. We needed to have a talk the next time I see her.

"Fine, then I'm going to practice," I said stubbornly, changing directions to the dance rooms.

"Practice what? There's nothing to practice-"

"Why are you obsessed with me?" I finally snapped, glaring at him with the most menacing look I could manage.

"I think you're pretty," he said innocently, offering a small smile. I glared harder.

"No you don't. There are plenty of girls with much bigger s and a prettier face than I have. If you really thought I was pretty, you wouldn't have waited so long to approach me," I scoffed.

"Okay, maybe not. But I am intrigued by you. No one else is this much fun to hang around," Taeyong laughed.

"Excuse me? Am I some sort of joke to you?"

"Ah, I didn't mean it that way-"

I pushed him when he was caught off guard and ran to the dance room, locking is securely behind me. 

"What an idiot. Doesn't he have anything better to do?" I mumbled under my breath. Unfortunately for me, I was only halfway to the music player when Taeyong barged right in.

"I happen to have a spare set of keys," he said triumphantly, swinging the keys around his pointer finger.

"You're so persistent," I sighed, "it's not like I can get anything done with you knocking down my door,"

"Does that mean you'll come?"

"Do I have a choice?"