The purple suits exchange nervous glances. Their boss is doing that thing again... the thing that makes them hella nervous... because they know... they know what horrors come right after he pulls the damn thing out. You know, the mob horrors...

The purple suits nudge one another, not wanting to be the one to bring up the suggestion. But someone should... like totally... before he pulls the damn thing out and the horrors hit home.

Oh, and if any one of you is wondering why these muscular guys are wearing purple suits... it is because black is too ordinary for their boss' reputation... and also, purple happens to be the favorite color of their boss' wife (actually, it is lavender... but close enough). Not only are their suits purple. Their nails are also a sparkly shade of purple. Let us not forget to mention the sliver-ish purple highlights in their hair. Totally in fashion. Totally.

"B-Boss..." A brave, brave soul. "We know of an excellent pedicurist. We can have them come right away and—" The boss lifts his eyes from the purple toe clipper. One look from him shuts the poor, brave soul up.

"Are you saying I am incapable of dealing with one ingrown nail? Are you implying that I am not fit to be in this seat? Are you trying to overthrow the underground system all by yourself?" Things escalates rather quickly... as usual.

He pulls and skin and nail separate along the cuticles. "Damn this motherer!"  He brings his heel down onto the head below his foot with enough force to crack a coconut in half. Thank goodness for the five layers of plastic bubble wrap cushioning the impact. "I hate having ingrowns... mother-ers. I hate them almost as much as I hate squealers."

The man with his face crushed against the bubble wrap squeals like a little piglet. Already pissed in his pants. The stench is horrendous... must have had a bucket of asparagus for breakfast or something.

"The sheer stupidity for betraying my trust... and then you dare show your ugly face here?"

The muffled squealing continues. The boss seems to have had enough of it. He flips out his trusty knife and the purple suits gasp for cinematic effect. The blade goes down on the man's fat thumb, severing it at the first joint. The injured man opens his mouth wide and screams. The boss shoves the bloody thumb into the man's mouth and issues a single command. "Swallow."

With the powerful hand clamped over his mouth, the man chokes, attempting to obey. His eyes roll back and he starts to gag violently. His body convulses. Thick saliva is threatening to burst out from between the boss' fingers. Yes... it can try... but nothing gets passed the boss' firm grip after he pulls the damn thing out. Nothing.

Every time he tries to swallow the fat thumb, his own dirty thumbnail scratches the side of his throat and he gags... until finally... finally it lodges itself inside his throat for good.

"What is this... can't even a thumb... and he was offering me head? What a joke."

"JB's right outside." The purple suits whisper to one another, relaying the news.

"... right on time. Boss needs a cool down." Before the real horror hits home. "B-Boss... JB is waiting for you outside."

"Ah. My favorite nephew." The boss cleans the blade on the dead man sprawling on the plastic bubble wrap in his piss and blood before retracting it into the sleeve of his purple trench coat. "How is my hair? Did I mess up my hair?"

"The blood sprays give it a y look, boss." The purple suits nod in agreement. His hair is extra y now.

"! There's blood in my hair? It's not going to come out easily. She's going to ing kill me!"

Holy , the boss might explode. They need to remind him of something good... something good... "JB is here, Boss. He has been waiting for you for a while now."

"Ah. My favorite nephew." He is repeating himself. Well... whatever makes him calm. "Send the boy in."

Upon entering the back room lined with plastic bubble wrap, JB spots his uncle smiling with a dead man's head under his bare heel and the specks of blood in his bleached hair. "Uncle JJ... you got blood in your hair again. She's going to kill you..."

"Yes, JB... yes, I know. She spent hours bleaching my hair and... let's not talk about this right now." He tries to shove the thought out of his mind. Pregnant women are extra vicious. "Come over here and give me a kiss."

JB walks over to his uncle with bubble wrap crackling beneath his purple combat boots. Uncle and nephew share a passionate kiss with tongue... lots and lots of tongue. The purple suits let out a sigh of relief. Their boss is cool now. So cool.

His Uncle JJ gives his -cheeks a nice hearty grip jiggle. "Have a seat, JB." The man shoves the deliciously hot youth down into the chair before continuing. "Your pheromones are on the rise again... no wonder Macho's daughter is so into you."

"Thanks, uncle... I guess." JB does not see where all this is going, but... probably not somewhere he wants to go.

"You're going to marry Macho's daughter. Tomorrow is the wedding. Congratulations, JB! You will soon become a real man!"

"Wait... what?!?!" This... this... he did not see coming. "But... I... I won't!"

"What? What did you say to me, JB?" Uncle JJ lifts his chin so their eyes meet. "Say it again, JB. I dare you to ing say it again, JB." His uncle is serious. Dead serious. .

"I... I..." Three hundred and six hours of anger management does the trick and saves a life. "Nothing. It is nothing."

"Good." His uncle's happy mode is back on. "You can go now... after you give me another kiss with more tongue."

--

Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. He has been forced into an arranged marriage... and the wedding is tomorrow? What the ? He has got to do something to stop this. All that girl has going for her is brains and nothing else. He needs all the other stuff... especially the other stuff.

Like his Aunt Cyndi. Power... lots and lots of power. Oh... that is it? The answer to his problem. He will just go to Aunt Cyndi and ask her to persuade Uncle JJ to cancel the stupid marriage. If anyone can do it... she can.

He has watched his Uncle JJ quietly approach Aunt Cyndi's door. Even with her belly protruding out like a giant watermelon, he cannot seem to keep away... and neither can JB. Thank goodness for ancient mansions, wooden doors, and large keyholes. It gives him a perfect view. Watching them both stark makes him crazy with desire. He would grab a passing maid and make the girl watch Uncle JJ take Aunt Cyndi from behind, driving home fast and furious without the slightest concern for her condition, while he, himself, would take full advantage of the distracted girl. Watching Uncle JJ and Aunt Cyndi most intently... they all did... until the last and final from JB, sending their pretty little head into the doorknob.

The remembrance racks his entire body. He needs to go. He needs to head back to the mansion immediately.

--

"Aunt Cyndi? Are you in? There's something I have to talk to you about." JB is excited... he is so excited to see her that he almost forgets the important things."

"JB?" The door to Aunt Cyndi's room opens to reveal the splendors inside. "Did something happen to Jaejoong? Why are you here at this hour?"

Ugh... she just has to remind him that she is married to his uncle. It is such a turn on. Her little body is so... how can she possess such powers in love making with such a small frame... minus the giant belly. She goes three time in a row without giving Uncle JJ a single break. She is a machine... a machine with milky white legs peeking out from her loose sun dress. Damn. He is imagining those legs thrown over his shoulder again and...

"JB... breathe, baby. Don't forget to breathe." She pats his chest... like that is going to help him calm down. It is only adding on to the burning desire. "Is everything not okay? What happened?"

"I'm... I'm... " He is trying his best to hold it in. "I'm getting married." LMAO

"Ah, I heard from Jaejoong this morning already. Isn't that nice, JB? You'll be the first one out of your friends and she's a good girl."

JB is shaking his head. He does not want a good girl with brains. Why would he want that? "No... it's not nice, Aunt Cyndi. I need you to get Uncle JJ to cancel it. He won't listen to me. He won't... so please. Please, Aunt Cyndi. I need you to help me this one time."

"Oh, so you don't want to marry the nice girl, baby?" His Aunt Cyndi stands on her toes and reaches up to pat his head. Is it to comfort him? He is not feeling comfy right now. He is definitely feeling uncomfortable. Extremely tortured. Her bare arms are tantalizing him. He is going cross-eyed just staring at it. Damn. "You came to the right place, baby. I will get you out of this arranged marriage."

"What?! You will?!" He grabs her arm and gently squeezes it. "I love you, Aunt Cyndi. I love you the most!"

"I will help you... but only after you help me." She smiles her sweet, innocent smile... before lifting up her sun dress. "Do you understand?"

JB steps into the room and slams the door behind him. This is way more than he had initially hoped for... in a good way. In a very good way.

"Should I show you your dear uncle favorite way to enjoy me?" She backs into the bed with JB following. Why the is he so lucky today? She goes to her hands and knees and invites him over after cushioning her pregnant belly. "Oh... how forgetful of me... you've seen him do it many times before..."

What? She knows he has been peeking through the keyhole? Does Uncle JJ know, too? They are so... wild.

JB admires her smooth, white bottom. Firm and really nice to touch. "If you ask me to help you, Aunt Cyndi. There's no way I can refuse." Hell... no ing way...

--

", Cyn! ! Look what you made me do!" Jaejoong mutters a few more 's' under his breath while his wife rolls off the dead body of his favorite nephew. "Cyn, you.... god!" He runs his fingers through his hair.

Cyndi chuckles. His apparent frustration amuses her greatly. "He came to me, Jae... asking me to get him out of the arranged marriage. I never turn down those in need. You know that."

"So this is how you get him out? ..."

"He asked me to persuade you to cancel it. I did just that."

"Why did you have to..."

"Because you love him more than you love me... and I can't ing have that, Jae."

"You're a selfish, little , you know that? How many other men have you seduced? If that kid's not mine, I'm chucking it into the Han River." Jaejoong points his gun at her.

"Should I save you the wait, honey? The kid's not yours. Now do it. Throw me into the Han River... I ing dare you." HAHAHAHAHA

Like JB has stated before.... before his brains were blown out by his Uncle JJ... Aunt Cyndi is a powerful woman. Very powerful in so many ways.